Chapter 1
I cannot say that I am always aware of what is happening around me, or that I even understand the true meanings of what it is that the universe is trying to tell me. Maybe thats my bad luck, that I'm so oblivious. Recently, I have lost everything that means anything to me, and looking back, who would have ever guessed that my power to save others would end up destroying me.
I keep thinking about how maybe, I should have stayed home that day, when I received the gift of destruction, how easy it would have been if Natalie, my fathers assistant, had caught me before I even left the house. Maybe, I would not be sitting here, feeling the empty spot on my finger, rubbing over the indentation from where my ring used to sit. The emptiness inside my soul, that used to belong to the little black god, aching to be filled with the return of his companionship. For days I have sat alone, thinking of what I can do to get him back, of how important he is, or was, to me, and how I took him for granted.
What is worse is that with the loss of him. I have lost the connection to my partner, my other half, my soulmate. We were two superhero peas in a pod, a package deal. I constantly think back to all of our memories together, of saving Paris. Watching her fly through the skyline of our beautiful city, because it was our city when we were together. The wind flowing through her dark hair as the moon would play off her beautiful blue eyes. To me, she is the moon, a bright light in the dark, always guiding my way, during my darkest hour. She is my balance, the light to my dark. Someone who I cannot live without but because of my pride, and embarrassment I have forced myself to do just that, live without my soulmate. There is no way I can explain to her what happened without receiving disappointment and resentment.
Maybe Im not giving her enough credit, she has always been kind and understanding. Calm and collected, always with the right thing to say. I just don't want her to think lower of me than I'm sure she already does.
It has been a month since I have "disappeared" and while she is usually smart and cunning, always armed with a plan, I have been watching her become more haphazard and more careless. I remember Plagg, my little black cat god, telling me once that together we balance each other, my miraculous being the power of destruction and hers the power of creation, and that too many uses of our powers without the other one would result in an imbalance to our bodies and minds. I wonder if that is what is happening to her, why she is changing. It could also be that she has been forced into a dynamic of a solo hero, instead of a partnership. I do not feel myself slipping, but I had my powers stolen, and am not sure if that imbalance would affect me anymore. I hate to be the reason for her imbalance. I reach again for the missing spot on my finger, the emptiness from my heart drops to my stomach. I miss him, I miss the freedom that came from it, but mostly I miss her.
I get up from the chair and head into the large empty bathroom, feeling the space, hearing only my breathing and smelling no camembert, Plagg's treat of choice. I think back to the night I lost him, everything. After everything went back to normal, only, it wasn't. I threw out all of his food, along with anything that reminded me of him, I couldn't face what I had done, after all was said and done I would have the scars to prove it, and I would have been okay with that reminder. I had bruises for weeks and a huge gash on my forehead from the lamp on my desk.
No victim ever had any injuries after the cleansing, they were all wiped away from existence, that was her ability. This time, she was not involved, which I will forever be eternally grateful for. I could never live with myself if anything happened to her, especially if it was done by my hands. I couldn't look at myself if she ever saw what I turned into. I look down to my hands, hands that have destroyed many things, as they held me up while I leaned on the counter. No ring in sight, a reminder of my own mistakes. A deep sigh erupts from my throat and I glance up to my face. Its reflection looked as if nothing happened, despite all the sleep that I lost, all the scars that were there, thats the life of a model I guess, only the best for Adrien Agreste.
My father was outraged at my appearance when he saw me. I could lose him money or worse. I groan loudly as I look at myself, how pathetic. I grab the closest thing to me and throw it at my shower wall. The bar of soap crumpled and fell to the floor, destroyed. Destruction, the only thing I'm good at. I laugh at my immature fit of rage, I need to fix this. I need to make this right. I pick up the pieces of soap and place them back in the tray as not to waste them, and return to my pity party in front of my mirror, remembering all the times before getting ready for the cameras.
Despite all that time in front of the camera as Adrien, when it came to his alter ego, he would shy away, she was better suited for it. Usually, after a successful cleansing of an akuma from a victim, she would be the one to deal with the press, while he would take care of the victim. She is the more tactful one and me the more emotional one, after all. However now, she rushes away immediately after the fights. I see an emptiness in her eyes when the reporters approach her, eyes that have lost their spark, but still remain dutiful to her responsibilities. I feel selfish for wanting her to be near me, for me to tell her how I feel about her, and to instill in her a confidence that together, everything will be alright. I lost that ability when I gave into the temptations he offered, the man who I have been trying to save Paris from for the last 3 years. I do not deserve to think about her like that anymore, after all, this is all my fault.
My thoughts are interrupted by the shuffling noise coming from behind me, a sound that often stirs me from my thoughts.
"Hey guys! Alya here, streaming live from an akuma fight near Francois Dupont High School!"
I turned my attention to the monitor on my desk to see the shaky footage on the screen. I hurried back to my chair, almost missing it. I saw my partners red suit fly past the camera and slam into the stairs at the entrance of the school I knew all too well. It looks as if the battle has been raging on for awhile. I reach for the monitor as if my touch would be enough to help her. I blanche as I watch her wince at the cut above her eyebrow, I look closer and see that her mask is cut too, then I saw the blood.
Her face mirrors mine as confusion takes over. Neither of us have ever bled during a fight, bruised yes, but the suit is supposed to protect us from blood. It must be the imbalance taking into effect. I'm the cause for that blood. I am the reason for that pain. I curse under my breath at myself for allowing this to happen.
I once broke my arm during a bad fall, but I never bled through my suit and it was repaired once she cleansed the city from any destruction, but man was it bruised badly, my father was furious and I had to postpone a few of my photoshoots until it healed.
I watch as she struggles to stand, but as soon as she does, I saw her look change to that of determination. My heart picks up its pace as I see the old fire in her eyes again. She only made that look when faced with a challenge.
I can't hide anymore. I cannot be ashamed anymore, I need to come to terms with what I have done. It is my fault that I lost my miraculous, it is my fault that I gave in to the anger. She knows me better than anyone, how could I ever be so blind. With her, everything will be alright. She always tells me that I am the braver one of the two of us and I need to be brave for her and for Plagg, sweet annoying Plagg. I know what I need to do, I need to get my ring back. I cannot let her be alone anymore, she needs her partner.
Immediately, as if I had no control over my body, I got up and raced towards the school. Luckily, my secret life of being a super hero allowed me the endurance to get there quickly and without winding me terribly. The city flew by and I ran as fast as I could to the scene.
As soon as I arrived I saw Alya hiding behind a bush under one of the school windows, her orange shirt did not help her to camouflage in the green plants. I rolled my eyes as I thought about how much danger she was in. However, she knew that she was and would not listen to anyone about her safety. It did not matter if I asked her as myself or as my alter ego, Chat Noir, she would never listen. She was determined to get her story.
I sprinted over to her and not so smoothly, jumped in the bush, I watched as her face contorted into one of fear and I immediately reached for her arms to stop the onslaught of incoming punches, a reflex I gained in my other life. After a moment she realized it was me and her face softened, as if to be relieved to see me, then it quickly changed into confusion. Thankfully she didn't scream, though I don't think I have ever seen her do that.
"Adrien? I thought you always hid during these fights, I have never seen you so close to one before".
I chuckled to myself and thought about the irony of the fact that she isn't wrong, I'm usually in the middle of the fight. I glanced over to the action and searched for an excuse, which came easily enough, another ability I have learned in my time as a superhero with a secret to keep.
"I was coming back to school early to study a bit in the library, What happened? How is she doing?"
As she glanced over to the battle, her face slowly formed a grimace as she watched her idol struggle with standing after a particularly difficult grapple.
"I'm not sure who the akuma is, or how he got that way. To be honest I'm worried, this is the first time I have ever seen her bleed from a fight. She has been struggling since Chat Noir disappeared".
I turned from her without answering her question. I had no way of answering her, I knew exactly where he was, and I knew exactly why he was allowing his lady to get hurt.
We have been fighting for such a long time, and luckily with age I have learned how to asses the battles quickly. Something I forced myself to learn after a particularly difficult bout with an Akuma who almost killed my best friend, Nino. After watching the tortuous scene I promised him that I would do more to protect him, and the people of Paris. It was my carelessness that got him caught in the first place and I swore to myself that I wouldn't be the reason for anymore hostages.
It took a long time to get where I am, and I took the opportunities I had and used them to my advantage, it was the first time I ever thanked my father for making me take all these lessons and for him allowing me to go to school. With that, I gained the knowledge and understanding of strategy and how to think outside of the box. Of course, I am still the more emotional one of the two of us, and I still get myself into quite a few dangerous situations, but with the help of my partner I am always able to overcome them.
I glanced over to the action and quickly took in the scene, this time, however, I will not be jumping in to protect my city, or my lady. I will be sitting on the sidelines, hoping for the best.
His green suit caught my attention, he looked like a luchador. His green skin tight suit covered his very built body, complete with white gloves and boots that laced up to his knees. It looked like he had orange and white tiger stripes grazing down his sides with a small orange cape that draped down to the middle of his back, the whole look completed with the green mask that covered his head.
He towers over Ladybug, making her seem smaller than she normally is, she looks like a little girl, not the strong woman I know and love, and despite not knowing her age or true identity, I assume she is around my age, 17. In the next quick moment, he lunged forward and reached for her, as usual, she reacted quickly, however she moved slower, almost like she was struggling. 'Of course she is, she's doing the job of 2 people and she has been injured, you're the reason for that!' my brain seemed to scream at me. She narrowly escaped him, and was able to crawl away.
"You've got to do better than that, Luchador!" Ladybug shouted at him.
Unfortunately, he used this opportunity to lunge again, he moves slowly, as is expected from a guy that size. She tries to jump away from him, instead she seems to move slower than she was before, something seems off. I look towards my lady and I see that she now understands what is going on, a plan forming, but why isn't she using her Lucky Charm?
Ladybug throws her magic yo-yo to wrap around a bench directly in front of Alya and me, and narrowly escapes his grip. She looks up from the ground, her hand still holding tightly on her yo-yo sting, muscles still flexing, and our eyes meet, I watch as her eyes widen, worry fills her face, my heart stops.
Why is she looking at me like that? Does she know that I'm her partner? My brain seems to freeze, I feel my eyes widen and my jaw slack, ready to apologize for my lack of attendance, however, before anything can come out of my mouth, she voices out loud;
"Adrien, grab Alya and get out of here, its too dangerous without Chat!' She pleaded with me, with that ever prevalent fear in her voice, the one I only hear when she is worried about the well being of others.
'Of course she doesn't know you idiot, she is only worried about us as civilians in danger', I told myself as I tried to calm down from my previous assumption.
Subconsciously, I raise my finger to my lips and start tapping them. Alya, Nino and Chloe make fun of me when I do this during tests and study hall at school. I picked it up from my friend, Marinette. I noticed her doing it one day in study hall after Alya drew my attention to the fact that we were both doing it. Doing it helps me focus on the task in front of me, so I am grateful to Mari for letting me borrow it.
She starts to climb horizontally away from him, using her yo-yo as a grip to climb closer to the bench. I see her feet push her body forward and I see how hard her arm muscles are working on the string of her yo-yo, and it hits me like a ton of bricks. Shit.
"He has a gravitational pull", I almost whisper.
It seems he has no special powers other than that gravitational pull, he moves slowly and it seems he needs to get you to him to cause harm and once he has you, thats when his size and his persona have the advantage. I glance over to Alya and she turns her head slowly to face me, with wide eyes behind her glasses, realizing what I just said.
"Why doesn't she use her Lucky Charm?" I repeat, however, this time aloud.
"She hasn't used it since Chat Noir hasn't shown up, its been a little over three weeks since I've seen her use it" Alya informs me, a little smirk forms at the corner of her lip, "So, you like the super heroes too, huh?"
"This is no time for joking, Alya. We need to get out of here," I say as seriously as I can, trying to mask my embarrassment. She hasn't used her Lucky Charm for three weeks, but I've been gone for a month. She must be trying to protect me, us.
"No, you're right, you need to get out of here, I'm staying for my live stream to my 'Ladyblog'", she quickly responds back.
Great, I have a friend unwilling to leave the dangerous fight, again, and the love of my life is struggling to defeat the enemy because I am not there to help out. Damn it. If I could kick my own ass I would.
Suddenly, I remember something that, my little black cat god, once told me. "You are Chat Noir, with or without the mask". He said as he was shoving his face full of camembert.
I need to do something, anything. I let my body react without stopping it, I needed to help my friends. In that moment, I subconsciously became my alter ego, this time without the disguise.
I reach into my bag and pull out my phone charger and immediately grab Alya's arm and pick her up over my shoulder and race over to the street lamp, which was coincidentally and conveniently a little further away from the battle and immediately tie her to the post and in the most confident voice I could muster I looked at her in the eyes.
"Do not move, at all. This chord should help temporarily if Luchador decides to use his pull on you, its not much, but its all I have. Yell at me if he starts coming for you, I'll do my best to protect you". She nodded hesitantly in response, a little dumbstruck. I've never been this forceful with her as Adrien, but I have been as Chat, and right now, Chat is who I am, I'll apologize later.
I turn my attention to the battle and see that the Luchador has gotten ahold of Ladybug. He is on top of her and she is trying her best to squirm away from him. A lightbulb goes off and immediately I am sprinting towards them. I am not as stealthy without my abilities and my running makes enough noise to distract LB from her compromising position, I curse at myself again as I see Luchador swing back and successfully land a blow to her ribcage during her distraction. I know that the damage is dulled while in her uniform, but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. She cries out in pain and screams out my name, except its not the name I'm used to, nor in the tone that I'm used to. I hear a bit of surprise with the subtle hints of confusion, but mostly, its just anger. I jump onto the akumas back and swiftly throw his cape over his head and with all of my body weight, I lean to the right and he loses his balance. At my success I see LB roll over, gripping her side.
"Use your Lucky Charm!" I tell her, instead of the usual bellow of her special ability, she says, "I can't use it, not without Chat, its too hard to explain, now get out of here before you get hurt!"
Bewildered, I stare at her with a look of defiance. "Do it anyway, he's getting free!"
"No, I will not, not without Chat here". She repeats.
"He's obviously not coming, Ladybug, he's the one who let you down, just use it!" I shout, struggling to subdue the akuma beneath me.
Anger. So much anger in one look…and…betrayal? I have never seen that look before but just as before I'll apologize later, if she'll listen. She is the more stubborn one of the two of us. I am pulled from my thoughts as I see her lunge towards Luchador and tears the cape from my hands. I hear the fabric rip and see the little purple butterfly come out, flying away from the scene. She immediately snatches it into her yo-yo and purifies it, a beautiful white butterfly flying out.
Luchador, hunches over and turns back into Gorilla, my bodyguard. Why didn't I see that coming? I should have noticed just by his size. How could I not see it? I see him everyday, how could I not see it was him, there is my obliviousness again.
Ladybug limps over to him as she is gripping her ribcage and hands him back a piece of cloth that looks like it could be a handkerchief. I notice the small monogram on it, I can't quite make out the letters. He folds it neatly and places it inside his chest pocket and holds his hand over where it had been placed, as if to protect it. He looks up to Ladybug with a look of gratitude and without a word passing through them, she understood it and muttered a response with that beautiful smile of hers.
She looks up at me, that smile quickly turning into a face without emotion and I walk over to her, apology in hand for my harsh, but true words. Instead she swings her yo-yo and disappears onto the rooftops.
Oh man, I'm gonna get it.
