Danjou stared out the window of his uncle's car lost in thought. Four months until he graduated, four long months of struggling to survive, of hiding who he really was, of dancing, which he didn't really enjoy.
The money he'd earned at his uncle's horse farm was a heavy weight in his pocket, and sometimes he wished he could just blow it on something stupid but he had a plan and he needed money to accomplish it. So it would go into his savings until it was ready to be used.
He may have been born in the slums but he sure as hell wasn't going to stay there. His mother, who worked like a dog, wouldn't let him contribute any of his earnings to the family. She wanted him to go to college and he was trying to make her proud. He was in the running for a couple scholarships and his grades were good though he didn't advertise it. One of the Dungeon Kids wasn't expected to be smart.
He'd gotten into Northeastern University and his dream was to be an architect. He'd known for a few weeks but he hadn't told any of his family yet; he wanted to hug the news to himself a little longer before sharing.
He was going to be happy to be out. You had to be tough to live in their neighborhood and the truth was he wasn't tough. You sure as fuck couldn't be gay and definitely not be open about it. And Danjou was gay. It was easy to hide it when everybody thought he wanted Sasha, but the truth, the truth he couldn't share was that he wanted Ramos. It was easier to play the dejected suitor, the straight dejected suitor in this game.
Sometimes he swore Ramos knew it, in the way the other guy looked at him as if Danjou was special, the way he was always touching, hugging, and standing near him. The weak part of him enjoyed the attention. Then Ramos would make a sexist comment about Sasha and Danjou would seethe. Seethe because this was the attitude of their neighborhood and that Sasha would accept the attitude.
And finally it happened. Ramos made a comment that Danjou couldn't, wouldn't ignore and he'd struck out. He landed one solid punch, equally scared by the violence erupting from him and the need to smack that smug look off Ramos' face again. Excessive fighting was the reason he was in detention in the first place, but he had never enjoyed a hit quite so much. Or been aroused by it, his mind added and was ignored.
His uncle pulled the car to a stop in front of Danjou's building.
"Thanks, Uncle Dan."
"You're welcome, son." His uncle, a robust man with a loud laugh and smiling eyes, responded. "You know, son, I'm really proud of how hard you've been working. I have no doubt you'll get into college."
Danjou smiled. "I got into Northeastern."
His uncle laughed. "That's wonderful. But why didn't you tell us while you were staying? You know Marie would have made an Italian cream cake."
Danjou laughed; his uncle used every ploy he could find to get cake out of his wife. "I know. I, uh, wanted to tell Mom first. I left before she got home on Friday."
Dan nodded. "Well, congratulations. I'll pick you up on Friday."
He hugged Danjou. "You're going to be the first in the family to go to college. This is something. I'll get Marie to make the cake next weekend."
Danjou laughed again, happier than he'd been since realizing he was gay. He grabbed his backpack and slammed out of the car with another goodbye thrown over his shoulder.
He headed to the door of his building, digging his keys out of his pocket, and wanting nothing more than a quick shower and his bed. He was unaware of the person standing in the shadows until it was too late. Rough hands grabbed him and slammed him up against the wall. He felt a quick shiver of fear and started to shove the person back. "What the fuck was that?" Ramos growled and Danjou sagged with relief before getting pissed himself. "What the fuck was what?" He pushed past Ramos and unlocked the door.
Ramos whirled him around and Danjou's eyes locked on Ramos' bruised jaw. Unthinking, he reached up and tilted Ramos' head and ran his finger over the jaw. He ignored the warmth of the skin under his fingers instead focusing on the discoloration. He heard a gasp, quickly smothered, and he jerked his hand away. "Sorry," he mumbled, thinking he'd hurt Ramos.
Ramos shook his head and the look in his eyes was strange, like he was disappointed. "Where have you been?" he demanded.
"What business is it of yours?" he snapped, because dealing with this guy during the week was hard enough, but on Sunday night without any of their classmates around, it was somehow worse.
"I've been looking for you for three days."
"Why were you looking for me?" Danjou asked suspiciously. He wasn't comfortable with knowing Ramos had been looking for him, especially after he'd hit Ramos.
Ramos shrugged as if this was an ordinary occurrence. "I'm always looking for you," he muttered, but then grinned. "You did hit me, you know."
"Listen, I'm going inside. You can follow or not, I don't care." Actually, he did care. He hoped Ramos would just leave but Ramos just followed him inside and up the stairs. Sure, there was an elevator, but who would be stupid enough to trust that; the last time he'd been stuck in there for thirty minutes and being locked in a confining area with the guy behind him was the last thing he wanted.
He walked into the dark apartment, knowing his mother was at her second job. He flipped on the lights with Ramos following closely and found the note his mom had left him. He smiled slightly. The note was always the same: told him that she was working; there was food in the fridge; and to give her love to his uncle.
"Uncle?" Ramos asked, breathing into Danjou's ear.
"Yeah, I work at his farm on the weekends." And he stepped away because it was hard enough being that close to Ramos and to feel his breath on Danjou's skin made him tingle and made him want Ramos's breath on other parts of his body.
"How long have you been doing that?"
"Almost five years." He glanced over to see Ramos giving him a look that was almost surprised.
He nodded toward the living room. "You can go sit down if you want. I'll be right back." He went to his room, grateful to get away. He'd known Ramos for years and this was the first time he'd ever been to his apartment before. He dropped his backpack on his bedroom floor, toeing off his shoes, and dropping his coat on the bed before going back out.
He found Ramos on the couch, flipping through his architecture book. And he sighed because he saw the connection. He sat on the other end of the couch and waited. He'd be damned if he'd start another fight over, well, anything. He was too tired for it.
He just sat there, eyes closed, simply waiting. He finally blinked them open to find Ramos watching him. "You like architecture?"
"Yeah," he replied shortly because why else would he have books on the subject. They lapsed into silence, hot and uncomfortable. At least on Danjou's end. Ramos didn't look particularly ruffled about anything, just seemed to be waiting for something.
"I don't want to fight," he finally whispered, appalled at his weakness.
Ramos' head tilted and he smiled slightly. "No one is fighting. I want to get to know you." He rose to his feet. "But not tonight. Too soon."
And just like that Danjou is confused and, again, strangely aroused.
"I know what it's like," he continued, "to be playing a part."
Danjou couldn't speak, unsure if this was some sick joke Ramos was playing. He stayed silent; it was the only weapon he had left.
Ramos smirked at him from the door. "One day we'll know each other's secrets, but until then, peace." He slipped quietly out the door.
Danjou is more confused than ever. He was sure Ramos was saying something meaningful but he didn't understand the message. He wasn't sure it mattered. He knew with certainty that this wasn't the last time Ramos would be here and he would go along with whatever was happening until he had the answers.
