Phantom's Mask
A/N: Hey guys, here's a companion scene to 'Hit Send' with Derek/Penelope. You don't necessarily need to read that story but it does make more sense if you do. ENJOY! R&R PLZ!
JJ had just left and Penelope still couldn't get over the fact Rossi really thought that about himself. Sure he's older than her but that's no reason to hide himself away, bend over backwards to try and express his love without JJ finding out who he really is. The worst that could happen was that JJ would say no and hells yeah that would hurt but she thought it would hurt more to have to hide yourself. Wouldn't it? There was a knock at the door, it was Derek. "Hey mama, I need some of your skills."
"My powers are at your disposal Sugar," Pen took the file he held out to her.
"I need this to be digitized and added to the database. I was having some trouble on my computer," Derek coughed and looked away.
Penelope knew that expression, "Let me guess, you forgot your password and got locked out…again."
"Potentially," Derek rubbed his head. "So if the Goddess wouldn't mind helping her boy out and resetting it while she was at it."
"Hmmm," Penelope pursed her lips. "One of these days I'm going to leave you locked out and make you go to Hotch to do it officially."
"You'd never do that to me," Derek waved off and fell onto her couch. "So what's new in the land of lady gossip? JJ seemed pretty happy when she left here."
"Were you staking out my office?" Penelope asked with growing amusement. Derek could be such a child, a child wrapped up in a good man with a good heart. She began working on the file, used to chatting with Derek during these visits.
"Potentially," Derek said again. "So what's been happening? JJ's new boyfriend treating her alright?"
"Oh he's treating fine but I think he's being ridiculous," Penelope grimaced.
"Why?"
"Well technically – and if you tell JJ I told you I'll lock you out personally – he's her secret admirer. She doesn't actually know who he is yet. Well she knows him but she doesn't realize the admirer is him. Like in the movies, you know anonymous notes, this case text messages, random gifts, the whole nine yards."
Derek was confused, "And that makes him ridiculous because?"
"Long story short, I know who it is but I'm going along with the whole charade for JJ and him. Thing is he's not revealing himself because he's afraid JJ will reject him. He's worried that he's not really good enough for her, like in the Phantom of the Opera you know how -"
"The dude's face was disfigured, I know," Derek filled in. "But mama that is a legitimate fear with a lot of guys. It's better to love from afar than to get too close and lose everything."
"Wouldn't it be better just to come forward and get the closure?" Penelope asked. "I know rejection hurts but at least you know and the pain could go away with time. What if the girl you love finds someone else? How could you stand to watch someone you love so dearly find love with another? Or worse, what if something happens to you or her and those feelings were left unsaid and that 'what if' hangs over you? That doesn't go away."
"You're right it doesn't but when what you already have is so special and so dear, risking it for your own selfish needs just isn't worth it." Derek shrugged. "Your girl gets a boyfriend? You plaster on a smile and be there for her if she needs it. As long as he doesn't hurt her, you can survive on her happiness. One of you gets hurt? You still have memories that you can treasure, untarnished by the sting of rejection. Yeah the 'what if' will be there but it's a promise as much as a dare. Think Schrödinger's cat."
Pen laughed at the randomness of the comment, "What's that got to do with anything?"
"Okay the cat is a little narrow, try Schrodinger's gift then." Morgan amended himself. "You don't know what's inside. It could be anything. It could be a laptop or it could be socks. You won't know until you open it but then you lose all those other possibilities and have to deal with the reality of that one gift whatever it is."
"The idea is greater than the thing itself," Garcia surmised. "But life isn't like a box, one and done. You could keep trying with that person or move on to someone else."
"Very true but what if you had your heart set on that gift, that person, and wanted nothing else? People really do crazy things when they're in love, it's not just a saying. To love someone, especially someone you've known, is not only risking your feelings but everything you ever might have had with that person. Some, like JJ's admirer, find other ways to express their love. And others, well they decide that the risk is too great to take."
"You talk like you speak from experience," Penelope commented. "Who was she?"
"Doesn't matter," Derek shook his head.
"Oh!" Penelope grasped and turned to him. "Who is she Derek?"
"Baby girl leave it alone," Derek warned.
"Listen to me Sug, she deserves to know. I would want to know if someone felt that way about me. This world is lacking real love, the kind that you'd do anything for. Don't deprive her of knowing there is someone out there who truly cares."
"Really?" Derek quirked an eyebrow.
"Absolutely," Penelope adamantly. "Oh and your file is ready." She handed him back the hard copy. "Want to me to reset the password now?"
"Nah it's okay Goddess, you win," Derek stood up and pressed a lingering kiss to her forehead. He whispered softly in her ear, "P-E-N-2-0-0-2."
"What's that?" Garcia asked.
"My password. Always has been." Garcia's eyes went wide, speechless but visibly touched and happy. Derek smiled at her, "See you around Baby Girl."
She watched him go and as the door closed, squealed with glee. Then she thought about JJ and became wistful, "Risk or no, don't be afraid to pull that phantom's mask Jayje."
