Losing her once is nothing compared than losing her a second time.
{Too afraid to go inside, for the pain of one more loveless night.}
"Lucy..." Natsu moaned. Mirajane threw the rag she was using behind her and covered her face with her hands. Natsu covered his face with his scarf. He buried his face deep into his scarf and arms. Lucy had left the guild two days ago. Not by train or by car, not by boat or by magic. But by death. It's been two days since Lucy Heartfilia died. Mirajane walked to the end of the bar where Natsu has been sitting for who knows how long.
"Natsu? Please..." She begged. "You're only making things worse for yourself and others. Please. Please, stop." Natsu looked at her with expressionless eyes. His spikes were greasy and there were stains on his vest. There was multiple beer mugs surrounding him. He was like this the last time she had died. Or last time, she had fallen into a coma. She never woke up. The doctors declared her dead after two months. Natsu had gone on a rampage and almost killed everyone in the hospital. Lucy was the one who stopped him.
"I didn't even get to tell her..." He moaned. Mira grabbed his shoulders and forced him to look at her.
"That was your own fault. You should've told her sooner-" Natsu's whole body burst into flames. Mira screamed and jumped back, rubbing her burning hands. Natsu climbed over the bar and hovered over Mira. He spat right next to her and it burnt a hole right through the wood floor. Mira gulped and looked helplessly at Natsu. She was trying so hard to transform but couldn't bring herself to do it. She was too scared of Natsu. Natsu, the one she used to babysit. Natsu, the boy who secretly cared for everyone. Natsu, the one who was lost and seemed to find his way deep in a pit of sorrow.
"Don't you think I know that? That I should've told her that I loved her before she died? Don't you think that I know I could have told her before she was ripped away from me a second time?" Natsu was suddenly being lifted up and away from Mira.
"What the hell!" He shouted. Gajeel was lifting him as high up as he could go. Natsu was beating the iron pole with his flaming fists. Gajeel had lifted him as high as the Guild Hall would allow without busting the roof. Natsu kept squirming around but Gajeel had an iron grip on him. Well, being made out of iron, people would guess so.
"Put me down you damn bastard! Fight me like a real Dragon Slayer!" Natsu shouted down at Gajeel. Gajeel would've gladly taken up on his offer, only he has had enough with Natsu. With his constant moaning about Lucy, it just keeps reminding the people about Lucy. How she was never coming back. The Fairy Tail Wizards haven't seen the master since the funeral. Something was off about everything. Nothing seemed right. Erza was trying to get everybody to go on a job. She's only gotten some people to go, but they went just to leave this darkness that had settled over Fairy Tail.
"Gajeel..." Natsu begged. Natsu was just hanging there now. Tears ran down his face, plopping onto the people's heads as they walked past. Gajeel brought him down when he was certain that Natsu wasn't upset.
"Natsu..." Gray mumbled. "Go home." Gray walked over to him and laid a hand on Natsu's shoulder.
"Lucy's house was my home. I can't go there without Lucy's permission." Natsu said quietly.
"Since when did we need Lucy's permission to go into her house? Where's the Natsu that slept in her bed and forced her to sleep on the ground? Where's the Natsu that snuck into her kitchen and ate all of her cookies? Where's the Natsu that's alive and not...this?" Gray asked. Natsu only shrugged.
"I'm going to leave for a while. Don't know when I'm coming back..." Natsu said, deadpan. He walked to the door. He put his hand on the door and he almost opened it. Instead, he said,
"Or if I'm coming back..." He opened and shut the door behind him. No one stopped him. No one was cared enough anymore to go after him. Without Lucy, everyone was just...lonely. Hundreds of different people that are alive and well, but when one of them dies, all of them die as well. Everyone could walk and talk, but that doesn't necessarily mean that they are alive. No, their hearts are just as alive as the dead ones.
"Is anyone going to go after him?" Erza asked. Everyone just stared blankly or looked away.
"So, I guess I have to do it?" Erza asked quietly. She opened the door and looked behind her, examining the group of expressionless people. God help us. Erza thought. She walked outside the Guild Hall and searched for Natsu. She spotted the pink haired boy in a matter of seconds. He was standing in the middle of the bridge, staring in at a middle distance. Natsu climbed up on the edge of the bridge and Erza screamed. She knew what was going through that boy's head.
"NATSU!" She ran over to him and caught his feet right after he had jumped.
"Natsu!" She wept. She pulled him up and over the edge. Natsu coughed and rolled over so he was in a tight ball.
"Just let me go, Erza. Let me be with her. There ain't nothing left here for me." He whispered. Erza slapped him hard across the face. He shot up and glared at her. Erza smiled.
"I'm glad to know that you can feel something other than sadness." She mumbled. He looked down.
"Pain. I can feel pain." He muttered. Her smile fell and she felt a stone drop in her stomach.
"Natsu..." She hugged him and he hugged her back. There was no point. There was no point on living anymore. Erza felt what Natsu felt. Natsu was so far gone. There was no Natsu anymore. Just a hollow shell of a man who used to live and be happy. Erza knew right there that Natsu was going to try again and again. Why keep him here if all it's going to do is torture him? Erza wanted to keep Natsu here. Everyone does. Another death would just drop everyone down to nothing.
"Natsu? Even if I convinced you to stay, would you still want to die?" Erza asked. Natsu nodded.
"I just want to see my Lucy again. To see her beautiful smile. Her beautiful eyes. Her. I just want to see her." Natsu said. Erza nodded.
"I don't think they buried her yet. Do you want to check and see?" She asked. Natsu nodded and they both got up. They walked to the cemetery in which they did the funeral. They did the funeral earlier today and people were coming and going, leaving her things that they thought should be buried with her. They got to the site and Lucy's coffin was still above ground. They were going to bury her later this evening. Natsu ran over to her coffin and bust open the lid. Erza picked the lid up and tried to fix the chips in the wood, so no one would notice.
"Lucy..." Natsu cried. He picked her limp body up and held her so close to his body. Natsu thought Lucy smelt funny, but he didn't care. He hugged her. He dropped her down a little so he could see her face.
"Smile for me Lucy. Please?" Natsu begged. Lucy stayed the same. Closed eyes and open mouth. A face that was once alive. A face that had brought joy and fun to the Guild. A face that would never be seen again.
"Lucy! Wake up! Please!" He shouted. He cried into her chest, hoping that she would come back to him. That Lucy would come back. But he knew, somewhere deep inside him, he knew that a cut and a stab deep into her heart and stomach would leave her dead. Natsu kissed her forehead before setting her down in the coffin once again. He fixed her hair and wiped away the tears that he had left on her pale, cold skin. He slowly closed the lid over her, looking at her one last time.
"I love you, Lucy." He left the lid open a crack. "Goodbye, Lucy." He said. He closed the lid and ran away from the coffin. He ran and kept running, not knowing where he was going. Not knowing if he going to stop. Not knowing anything except that his Lucy was never coming back.
His Fairy Tale never ended with a happy ending. It ended with death and cruelty.
Because in real life, people don't come back from the dead. People don't wake up all better. They die and they never come back...
