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The Adventures of Broly and Link: Kingdom Hearts

Chapter 1: The Bar, The ID Theft, The Pain.

It was just an ordinary night in the bar. Link had just went on his vacation and he decided to venture to a new place, Mickey's Castle Town Of Enjoyment. But so it would seem, it wasn't that enjoyable unless of course you're a drunken hillbilly with nothing better to do on a Saturday night than get pissed up and not remember which family member you did last night. So Link went to the bar, and that is where he went wrong.

Link: Hey there friend.

Bar Tender: I AIN'T YOUR FRIEND!

Link: Ok, have it your way. I would like something to drink.

Bar Tender: Everybody wants something to drink. That's why they come to the bar, IDIOT!

Link: Do you serve milk?

Bar Tender: Why the hell would I serve a weak ass drink like that. This ain't no nursery, think you can comprehend that?

Link: Well, I have just one question. Do you even know what that word comprehend means?

Bar Tender: Yes, I'm not an idiot, like you.

Link: Well , I am the idiot. Why don't you enlighten me on what the word means then. Do tell.

Bar Tender: Duh. It means, uhh…

Link: I already know what it means I just thought that would occupy you while I went into the back and got myself some milk.(Sips The Milk)

Bar Tender: You rotten little bitch.

Link: Last I Checked, I wasn't a female dog.

Bar Tender: That has nothing to do with what I just said. You're stupid.

Link: No, I believe you are the stupid one.

Bar Tender: You have 2 choices.

Link: Oh, and what might they be?

Bar Tender: Walk out of here alive or, leave in a body bag. Cause if you don't leave, I'm gonna kill you.

Link: I gathered that.

Link tried desperately to think of a way out of this horrible little, no, huge gorilla like mess he got himself into. So he quickly looked around the room to find the biggest guy he could find. Just at the other end of the bar, was the exact guy he was looking for.

?: Hey everyone, I'm drinkin' Barcardi.

Entire Bar: WE KNOW!

?: No need to get all bitchy. Bitches.

Link: I'm with the gargantuan guy drinkin Bacardi at the end of the bar.

Bar Tender: Alright, sure you are.

Link: You want me to get him? Cause I will.

Bar Tender: Go right ahead.

Link: I'll do it.

Bar Tender: I'm waiting.

Link: Seriously, that guy down there, I snap my fingers, and he'll be like, um, beating you like a read headed Kokiri! Yeah, that's it!

Bar Tender: Alright, you better start snapping, cause I'm gonna rip your face off.

Link: I didn't want to do this but, you leave me no choice.( Link snaps his fingers, and nothing happens.) He's comin, just give a minute.(Shit, this guy is gonna beat the ever lovin shit out of me. I knew I should've taken a left at Halloween Town)

Just then, the mysterious, gigantic man drinkin Barcardi noticed he was in trouble.

?: Oh no, that little man is gonna fight the bar tender, I need more barcardi.

Link: Hey Um…(Think Of A name) Broly, if you help me, I will give you more Bacardi.

?: Hey, how did you know my name talking seat cover.

Link: I'm not god damn seat cover. (Oh yeah smooth, piss off the other big guy, god I'm dumb as dirt sometimes.)

Broly: I Help, I Help, Seat Cover. Talking Seat Cover. To serve and protect and all that other stuff that goes with that saying I messed up. I'm comin buddy.(He would look great on the drivers seat of my Volvo)

Bar Tender: Oh Shit, hey goofy I need some help.

Goofy: Gwarsh, I'll certainly help ya. You leave that bar tender alone.

Broly didn't take kindly to being told what to do, when he was sober. Imagine his excitement now that hes drunk.

Broly: What you say to me you bitchy seat cover.(God, he would not go well with the theme in my Volvo, weird looking green things)

Goofy: I'm no seat cover, I'm goofy, defender of the…(Broly punches him in the face)

Broly: And that's the end of that uhh, book.(Yeah, good come back. If only my kindergarten teacher could see me now.)

Goofy(slowing staggering to get to his feet): Donald, come give me hand with this giant fuck of a man.

Donald: Goofy, the king told you never to swear, it takes ten minutes off your life.

Goofy: Well that big eared fuck can kiss my ass. Maybe he should try takin a shot to the face from that big asshole.

Donald: Goofy, Goofy.(Goofy died in Donald's arms. And Donald became consumed with rage.) I'LL KILL YOU BIG STUPID FUCKER!

Link: Leave this guy to me Broly you sit and have some more Bacardi. (Link jumps off his stool, and drop kicks Donald, with the iron boots.)Alright, you finish your bottle of Bacardi and we'll go.

Broly: Finish it? Its already gone.

Link: Jesus Christ, you piss tank.

Broly: Hey, don't piss me off!

Link: Are you still drunk?

Broly: No! I sober up really quick.

Link: I see. Well, we have these guy's identity. We might as well head on over to there house and have a rest. But it says here that they live at the kings castle. So we had better try our best to look and act just like them.

So Link grabs Donald's staff and Broly grabs the shield that had belonged to Goofy, and they began there adventure toward the kings castle.