1774
Elizabeth, New Jersey
Princeton University
"Do we have to be here?" Peggy whined from beside her. Eliza looked over to her younger sister as she slouched down in her chair. Before Eliza could say anything their father snapped his fingers at her.
"Sit up straight, Margarita. You might not be looking for prospects just yet but imagine how your posture could reflect poorly on your dear sisters." Peggy was still 14 and despite one of their father's business partners trying to talk him around to having her marry his son, he refused. Angelica was 17 and Eliza was 16. They were of more appropriate ages to at least begin cultivating possible matches which was part of the reason they found themselves at Princeton University.
The college was holding a small gathering that was mostly for the richer echelons who donated to the school along with the school's top students as guests of honor. She supposed their father wished for them to mingle and, if not find a match, at least form a mutually beneficial bond. There were 30 boys in attendance. Eliza's eyes roved over the group and though a few caught her eye, especially one that seemed young compared to his classmates, she didn't bother getting up. There was little use anyway. Angelica would get first pick, she would be front and center. She was the oldest and though Eliza could offer a small dowry to her future husband, Angelica would provide much more than that. Her son would bear the brunt of carrying on the Schuyler legacy. A marriage to Eliza would provide the backing of a great family and fortuitous connections but not as well as marriage to Angelica. Eliza did not begrudge her though. She didn't know if she could be as strong as Angelica was growing up, as strong as she had to be for Eliza and Peggy in the face of ignorance.
Eliza waited until her father had left to mingle with the other senators and patrons and Angelica was busy dazzling the room before she stood.
"I'll be back soon." She told Peggy who was occupying herself with dessert.
"Where are you going?" She asked.
"I need air." Eliza explained before walking away briskly, holding her cerulean skirts up slightly so they did not trip her. She managed to find a balcony after she walked the halls for a few minutes. She sighed once she got outside. The stone balcony overlooked the courtyard. It was late and the sun hadn't set yet but the cobblestones below were devoid of any people. Her eyes stayed trained on the trees and hedges of flowers. It was Spring so the blooms were particularly magnificent, having burst from their confines to stretch their petals and show off their enviable beauty. The piazza was a kaleidoscope of colors. Blues, reds, yellows, purples, oranges and greens ranging in shades, expertly planted so they made the pattern of a large flower, each petal a different shade while the middle was green. She wondered at the tending and hard work that went into the masterpiece. She didn't keep track of the time that passed. At one point, Angelica breezed past the curtains blocking the terrace from the view of the festivities inside.
"I feel like my legs are gonna fall off from dancing so much." She rested against the balustrade for a moment before taking a deep breath. The Spring air wasn't too hot but there was a light sheen of sweat on Angelica's face and neck, droplets disappearing into her burnt orange dress.
"Okay, boot and rally Angelica." She told herself. Eliza thought she would breeze back inside with nary a word to her, she did that sometimes if their father was pushing her particularly hard. However, Angelica paused just before she walked back in.
"Wait, what are you doing out here?"
"Just enjoying the view." Angelica narrowed her eyes at her and Eliza had to hold back an eye roll. Angelica had to become the woman of the house following their mother's death but she took it entirely too far sometimes.
"Don't, Angie." Eliza said, her voice steady. Angelica held the scrutinizing gaze for a second more before she relented.
"It is a nice view, I suppose. Better than in there. One of them tried some horrible pick up line about his trust fund, if you can believe that. Ugh." Eliza smiled in amusement at her sister's overly exaggerated disgust.
"Well, back into the fire. Wish me luck."
"Luck." Eliza called as Angelica swept away off the veranda. Eliza stayed where she was, wondering how long it would take for her father to notice her absence. She watched the sun set, splashing the sky with purples and reds and soon enough crickets began to chirp. She contented herself watching fireflies hover and blink before a noise caught her attention.
She walked to the edge of the balcony and ended up pushing herself into the shadows in order to see over the edge. There was a man and woman she didn't recognize standing at the shadowed portion of the courtyard. She couldn't hear them from where she was but soon enough they started kissing and she looked away. Just as she did, someone walked onto the terrace. He stopped in the middle of it and heaved a deep sigh before continuing to the edge and leaning against the balustrade. Eliza recognized him as the younger man in the group. He was even more handsome up close, his dark skin glowing under the moon and giving him an added appeal, painting him as the male lead in some Shakespearean romance.
"Stupid." He said suddenly. Eliza drew back, her body filling with indignation.
"You're so stupid, you dumbass. My prospects are like my trust fund: extremely lofty. Who says craps like that, idiot? I'm never listening to Madison again. Fool." She realized three things at the exact same time.
He was talking to himself.
He didn't know she was there.
He was the suitor that gained Angelica's abhorrence with a, self-admitted, horrible line.
Eliza felt pity replacing her indignation as he continued beating himself up. She felt an urge to comfort him or at least spare him excess embarrassment so she stepped into the light and cleared her throat. He jumped and turned to look at her.
"I apologize. I didn't mean to frighten you. I figured you wouldn't want to continue whilst not knowing someone else was present." His face briefly filled with embarrassment before he seemingly switched everything off, hidden behind an affected smile. She recognized this false unemotional mask. It had been taught to her and her sisters growing up, battered into their brains.
Know when to speak and when not to.
Know your place and stay there.
She was not accustomed to seeing this expression on a man but she could roll with the punches. She pasted a smile onto her face as well.
"You seem quite taken to beating yourself up, sir."
"Well, we could all use a healthy dose of self-reflection."
"Pardon my saying but it seemed more like self-loathing."
"The two aren't necessarily exclusive topics."
"I suppose not. Don't beat yourself up too much. Angelica can be... well, I don't all the time think there's a word that encompasses her." Aaron straightened up in a seemingly casual fashion but Eliza was watching his body's movement like a hawk and reading the subtext of every move he made.
"You are close to Ms. Schuyler?"
"She's my sister. I'm Elizabeth." She said, holding her hand out. He bent to kiss the back of her wrist, his form the picture of perfection. It was enough to make her old etiquette teacher cry.
"Aaron Burr. Pleased to make your acquaintance."
"Mr. Burr, if you don't mind my inquiring, how old are you? You seem much younger than your peers." He drew himself up now, as if he took great pride in what he was going to say next.
"I'm 16. I expect to graduate in a year from now."
"Impressive." She said. She supposed he was used to compliments like these, even expected them, it didn't make the sentiment less true though. He preened slightly at that.
"Why do you do it?"
"Excuse me?" He asked, looking slightly confused.
"Why do you work so hard to graduate early? I imagine the work must be immense and it must be hard always being the younger party among older gentlemen." He looked like he almost wanted to show something like surprise at that but he went back to his careful neutrality. She felt some disappointment at that. She liked that she got him out of it, even if it was just to show pride.
"It can be difficult socially but I'm not here to fraternize. That I should graduate and make something of myself was one of my parents' dying wishes before they passed. The discomfort is not insurmountable in the face of more important things. Besides, I do have my friends."
"I'm sorry for your loss, sir."
"It was a long time ago."
"I know how it feels to lose a parent. I lost my mother when I was young. I don't always remember her face but I feel the hole where she should be in my life every day. I don't wish that on anyone, so I'm sorry for your loss." He seemed like his feathers were ruffled by this and he opened and closed his mouth more than once before he nodded with a bland smile.
"Thank you." She was not used to having such heavy conversations so early into her interactions with people. She smiled genially at him suddenly.
"You must come to many of these events then, being the youngest student in Princeton and excelling as well as you are. I assume you must be excelling anyway, otherwise they probably wouldn't have trotted you out." He didn't seem to mind the sudden shift in conversation, in fact it seemed to relax him. His shoulders lost the barely noticeable tightness they gained through their conversation.
"Yes, they always seem to find a way to include me in these things."
"Whether you want to or not, I suppose." He seemed caught between denying it and agreeing before settling on chuckling and not answer either way.
They spent the better part of the conversation making idle small talk, learning the bare bones about each other. She learned that he had first come to the school studying theology as a major as his grandfather was a preacher before his death but he had made a switch to law as it intrigued him and challenged him. He learned that she liked to read and most of their reading tastes were quite similar to each other. She even let it slip that she enjoyed reading abolitionist papers and such. It was hard to know who to say these things to among her father's constituents but she watched him light up the more she spoke.
"It's just… well, barbaric is what it is. That we should put our fellow man in chains, force them to their knees and impose such cruelty upon them and then turn around and call ourselves children of God, it's just-"
"Sacrilegious at worst, hypocritical at best."
"Yes." Eliza nodded, feeling quite vindicated to meet someone who she could match wits with, on this matter at least.
"I suppose you understand a little better than I do though." He continued. Eliza rose an eyebrow inquiringly.
"Well, I hope you don't take offense to my saying, but you're a woman." She smiled with a little amusement now.
"Am I? I hadn't noticed." He looked down a little, embarrassment blooming on his face.
"What I mean to say is, you experience difficulties that I never have or will. You're kept in chains as well. Not as literal as the poor souls forced into slavery but chains nonetheless. These colonies, this world, does a great disservice to both groups. My hope is that that can change in the future and perhaps I can help that as a lawyer. I can learn the law, learn all its limitations and loopholes and try to fight for oppressed people that way. But in the long run, my hope is that slaves can be made free to pursue whatever life they choose and women can do the same. They can own land, hold office, vote, be respected for their intellect just as much as any free man." Eliza turned to stare at him. The moonlight splashed against his dark skin making it glow almost ethereally, like there was pure light energy in his veins, shining a torch just under the epidermis so he seemed otherworldly. She almost wanted to ask if he was real because she hadn't ever met a man who professed these ideas so freely that didn't want something from her in some way, shape or form. Her eyes narrowed as she eyed him with suspicion.
"I won't be entering your bed tonight if that's what you're hoping for." He turned to her with slight alarm.
"I… no, I never-"
"And I won't put in a good word for you with my sister if that's what you want." He continued to look alarmed before he sighed. He reached out for her hand but she pulled away.
"Ms. Schuyler, I don't know what your unfortunate encounters with other gentlemen have been but I can assure you I am not trying to trick you into anything that would sully your honor or my own credibility, I promise you that." Eliza stared at him, even more conflicted. She did not expect much of this conversation when she saw him come onto the balcony, much less to meet someone in such total agreement with herself, someone who seemed to lift words straight from her own head and give voice to private emotions and desires she dare not speak.
"I want to believe you but my father taught me to be weary of men who are dreamers."
"I admit, sometimes it feels like my dreams are just fantasy but I will do my utmost to make them a reality." He stared at her, his face briefly morphed into determination before he pulled back on it and just stood in front of her, his head tilted up. She could see ambition lurking beneath layers of concealment, beneath things he would probably not say in more prominent company, beneath undisclosed desires and agendas he'd fight for in secret, beneath things he was passionate about that others may call delusions. She took a step towards him to do... well she didn't know what but whatever spell fell over her was broken as someone walked on to the balcony. She turned to see Peggy standing there. Her eyes flickered between the two of them before settling on Eliza.
"Father is looking for you, he has someone he wishes for you to meet. Fair warning: he's a really bad dancer, he's liable to step on your toes."
"Thank you for the warning, I'll be right along." Peggy nodded and curtsied in Burr's direction, receiving a bow in turn before she scurried away.
"Well, I must be off. Thank you for the… interesting conversation, Mr. Burr."
"The pleasure was entirely mine, Ms. Schuyler." He responded, gently taking her hand in his and dipping low to press a kiss to the back of it. She felt something strange in her chest, like wind blowing pass loose parchment.
"I… if that is true sir, perhaps the night doesn't have to end. I would be eternally grateful if you would save me from this supposed disastrous dancer of a suitor. My toes would be as well." She wasn't sure where this boldness came from but she was intrigued by him and did not want the night to end so quickly just yet. He smiled apologetically at her.
"As much as I would enjoy that, unfortunately I must be getting back to my dormitory. There is much work to be done."
"Of course." She looked down, hiding her disappointment.
"Until we meet again sir." She said, curtsying before she walked towards the door.
"I shall count the days, rest assured." She didn't turn back to him but smiled a little to herself as she continued on.
1775
The Schuylers' Upstate Home
Eliza couldn't sleep and a large part of that had to do with the mugginess of the atmosphere at their father's manor upstate. It was Midsummer and it was a bad Summer, the days much too hot. The nights were cooler except for when it would rain for short bursts and that would leave the air even more humid than before. She found herself tossing and turning in a sweat, not able to find comfort. She could hear Peggy on her side of the bedroom rustling around but she didn't turn to face the 15-year-old until she heard the window ease open even further. Eliza looked over only to see her sister dressed in day clothes with her riding boots on getting ready to climb out of the window.
"What are you doing?" She asked, frightening the younger girl.
"Heavens Eliza, you scared the daylights out of me." Eliza sat up and stared the younger girl down. She was usually the more cautious one of the bunch, sticking to their father's side. If their father told them directly not to do something, where Eliza and Angelica wouldn't hesitate, Peggy would tag along but she'd protest the entire time. Eliza was frankly surprised to catch her trying to sneak out but lately Angelica had been of the suspicion that Peggy was gallivanting with one of the boys from town. Eliza was beginning to suspect the same.
"Well? Where do you think you're going?" Peggy pulled the shawl over her shoulders tighter.
"I was just… I wanted to get some air. It's stuffy in here."
"If that's the case, I'll come with you." Eliza got up and went to her wardrobe.
"No!" She said, wincing at the volume of her voice.
"No, that's alright. I'll just be outside; I'll be fine on my own."
"What kind of older sister would I be if I let you outside by yourself in the middle of the night? Anything could happen. No, I'll accompany you." She pulled out a plain dress and silently waited for Peggy to crack, almost failing in keeping the smile off of her face.
"Okay, okay. I'm not just going for a walk."
"You aren't?" Eliza asked with mock surprise. Peggy rolled her eyes in response.
"I'm going to the tavern in town." Eliza's smile dropped.
"The tavern? By yourself? At this time of night? Peggy, are you insane? That's way too dangerous."
"I won't be by myself. I'm going to meet Jon."
"And who is Jon?"
"Jonathan Bellamy. I met him a few months ago when father took me on a trip to Yale University. We've been sharing correspondences ever since and he is in town tonight. I told him I would meet him."
"Does father know of these correspondences?"
"No, and he won't find out either. It's not as if I'm going to marry the man, we're just having fun."
"You're 15 years old. How old is he?" Peggy rolled her eyes and turned away but Eliza turned her back towards her.
"How old is he?"
"He's 23 but he says that I'm really mature and we're not doing anything inappropriate, we're just enjoying each other's company."
"Your entire acquaintance is inappropriate. Margarita Schuyler, I expected better from you."
"Eliza, you're not my mom and besides Angelica already knows so I'm going whether you like it or not." Peggy said, turning back towards the window.
"I'm still coming with you." Eliza said, quickly pulling off her night gown and pulling on the plain pale blue dress over her head. She grabbed a shawl for a semblance of modesty along with her riding boots but still figured no matter what she did she and Peggy on the streets by themselves at this time of night, at a tavern no less, was going to be frowned upon. Besides, any man out at this time of night was hardly going to protest.
"Fine. Come then." The two climbed out of the window and onto the tree right next to it. They had spent whole days scaling this tree in their younger years so it was no problem to climb down it now. They ducked behind the side of the house when they heard someone walking pass but managed to get off the property with no problem. Eliza followed Peggy, ignoring the way Peggy was stomping through the foliage like a child throwing a tantrum. She wasn't exactly proving herself as the most mature person in that moment. After about 20 minutes they left the forest and started walking the road. It was another five minutes before Peggy talked to her.
"When we get there they'll be a fair amount of people. Jon will be there with his friends James, Dolley and some others. I think you may know one of them." Eliza looked over to her sister but she just smiled secretively at her. Eliza didn't bother trying to wean anything from her, she could hear the tavern music from where there was anyway.
When they entered the tavern, there were smatterings of people sitting by themselves but mostly the people were to one side of the tavern. It was about 20 people in the group, mostly men, though 1/4 of the group were women. They were all drinking and laughing together. Peggy grabbed her hand and pulled her towards them.
"Jon!" A tall man with silky black hair, dark eyes and medium brown skin with a yellow undertone turned towards them and smiled brightly.
"Margarita!" The man called, walking swiftly towards her. He kissed both of her cheeks and smiled down at her brightly.
"I see you brought company." Jon said, giving Eliza a polite smile.
"You always bring your own, I thought why not?"
"Elizabeth Schuyler." She said, holding out a hand. Jon kissed the back of it before coming back up.
"Schuyler?"
"My sister. And this is Jonathan Bellamy."
"I've heard much about you." He said.
"I'm sure."
"Please, join us. We were just listening to a story by a friend of mine." Jon led them over, making sure to leave a space for them to sit. Eliza nodded her thanks before sitting down. She settled, turning to the person in the middle regaling the group. She felt herself freeze up as she recognized him. She turned to Peggy who was sitting in Jon's lap. She smiled impishly at her before turning back to Aaron. Eliza did the same.
"I went to bed at around 10, hoping to get myself a rich sleep. But on account of that cursed one single dish of tea I lay in bed for two hours staring at the ceiling unable to. So I got up and attempted to light a candle but in vain. I had flint and matches but only some shreds of punk which would not catch. But I recollected a gun which my dear friend Jon had on our late journey."
"Something I live to regret, mind." Jon interjected, causing the group to begin giggling. Aaron turned to his friend but paused as his eyes caught her. They stared at one another before Aaron looked down and away with a slight smile.
"So, me being the genius that I am, filled the pan with powder and was just going to flash it when it occurred that though I had not loaded it, Jon might have. I checked it and found in it a very heavy charge. What a fine alarm it would have made if I had fired it!"
An alarm? He possibly could've killed himself but he's worried about making an alarm. Eliza thought to herself.
"I poured out some powder on a piece of paper, put the shreds of punk with it and after about fifty tries, finally succeeded in firing the powder. But… it being dark, I had put more powder than intended. My shirt caught fire, the papers on my table caught fire. I burnt my fingers to a blister but succeeded, however, in lighting my candle, so there's that." The group kicked up in raucous laughter and Aaron turned to her with a large grin. Eliza rolled her eyes and shook her head but there was a small smile on her lips.
"Another round in honor of Aaron's poor shirt! This one's on James!" A woman whose skin tone matched Angelica's called out.
"Thanks for volunteering me, Dolley. I really appreciate it." The man, James, didn't sound like he appreciated it all and what's more sounded like he had a cold but Eliza's eyes stayed on Aaron as half the group migrated to the bar to order drinks and the other half began mingling among themselves. He stood up and approached her, holding out a hand to her.
"Let's go somewhere more quiet?" He asked. Eliza nodded, taking his hand as he led her out the back entrance of the pub.
She was surprised to see that the backyard of the pub opened to an expansive field of flowers. There was a swinging bench to the far right of the field, a sheer canopy covering it to keep the mosquitoes and various other insects away. They sat down beside each other and reveled in the night for a moment. It was just like their first encounter, the crickets chirping, the humid air, the light of the moon shining down on them in all its splendor. After a moment though they turned to each other.
"Hello again, Ms. Schuyler. It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance once more."
"The pleasure is all mine. Though perhaps you need me more than I need you if your anecdotes are any indication." He looked down with a smile but it wasn't the fake one of their first encounter. She supposed the liquor had loosened him up.
"Yes, lighting myself on fire was not my finest moment. Perhaps they should revoke my degree. It seems my ingenuity is mostly borne of stupidity."
"So you did graduate? Congratulations, youngest Princeton graduate."
"Mmm, for all the good that does. So far I haven't done much of anything."
"Well, you've only just entered the world a man. Give yourself time. You've worked hard to reach this point I'm sure, there's no shame in taking a break."
"Justice will not dole itself out and there's a war looming, it's no time to be stagnant. I should establish myself while I can. Jon helps with that some. He's a traveling lawyer, originally based in Boston but he's had me making some use of my degree. Not to the ends I prefer just yet but some day, eventually." He still had his quiet ambition but there was self-doubt there now too.
"Hold heart and have faith, your day will come. Just take your time, I promise the world's ills will still be there when you're ready to tackle them." She advised, laughing humorlessly at her dark humor. He nodded with a serious look on his face, like he was taking in each word she said individually before he turned his attention on her.
"Enough about me, what about you?" They spent time then talking about anything they could think to hold a conversation about. They talked about the books they were reading. She suggested some poems to him and though he seemed averse to it at first, he promised he would look at them for her which caused a blush to rise on her cheeks. They discussed the growing unrest in the colonies, tension building up to a near boiling point. They talked about whether there would be a war, whether he'd fight in it.
"I would if push came to shove. I would fight." He said. She nodded.
"It's all exciting on one hand. This new awakening, all the new ideas, not least of all being your own. I would love to live in the world you envision. On the other hand, it is a war. People will die, I don't want... I don't want anyone to die."
"And yet that is the human condition. We'll all die at some point, dear Elizabeth. Any fool who tries to circumvent that is just wasting their precious time. I don't wish to die any time soon, there's so much left to do, but if I die honoring the Burr and Edwards names then that will be enough."
"Will it really though?" She asked.
"It will have to be." He replied. She stared at him with shining eyes. It was only her second encounter with the man and yet she felt like she knew him. Perhaps it was because they were of a kind but she knew she wanted more. That wouldn't happen if he died in the wars to come. As righteous as these wars were, as necessary as they seemed, she did not want to lose... lost what? She barely knew the man yet...
Why is this all so confusing?
"Even so, sir, I wonder if you would protest to our beginning a written correspondence. You need someone to discourage you from lighting yourself on fire." He chuckled but nodded.
"I would like that very much."
1776
New York Harbor
Eliza looked excitedly all around Manhattan, her eyes searching for Aaron in the crowds. They had spent the past year exchanging letters between each other. She had not told her father of this just yet, they weren't officially courting after all, but it felt very much like what they were doing. They traded letters, met with each other when they could and their letters became increasingly wistful. They spoke a lot about the future that they wanted but never in terms of what their future could be with each other. Eliza wasn't sure how to feel about it all. Peggy told her she should just have fun while she could, like she and Jon. Angelica didn't know any more than their father did and that was just added stress. Eliza didn't want to know what Angelica was going to say about her dealings with Burr. He hadn't made the best first impression on her and though she did nothing to deter Peggy from Jon, Eliza and Aaron's relationship was not like Peggy and Jon's. Ultimately she did nothing to push her friendship with Aaron beyond just that. She didn't want to ruin what they did have.
She had recently received a letter from him saying that he was finally in New York again after an extended time away in New Jersey with Jon. Eliza knew Jon had come two weeks prior to the city because Peggy had taken to sneaking out again but Aaron was nowhere to be found until finally as the three sisters wandered around the city Aaron approached them.
"There's nothing quite like Fall in the city, is there?" He said, appearing out of nowhere. Eliza, who was standing behind Angelica next to Peggy, smiled brightly when he appeared. Angelica made an unflattering sound as she saw him.
"What do you want?" The older girl asked. His eyes flickered over to her and she shook her head discreetly. He knew Angelica didn't know and he hadn't pushed her to divulge their relationship.
"I was just wondering why you're slumming in the city in your fancy heels? You searchin' for an urchin who can give you ideals?"
"Burr, you disgust me."
"Ahh, so you've discussed me. I'm a trust fund, baby, you can trust me." Eliza knew Aaron was being intentionally corny to try to gain a rise from her sister but it still took everything in her not to laugh. Angelica pushed the man out of her way and stomped ahead. Peggy followed after, throwing a suggestive eyebrow at Eliza. The 18-year-old followed after, slowing as she passed Burr.
"The docks, two hours from now. I'll meet you." Aaron nodded discreetly.
It took some work to ditch her sisters but Peggy helped and she got lucky when the ramblings of a loyalist caught Angelica's ears. Eliza slipped away, leaving Peggy to cover for her. She was probably running more than walking towards the docks, her heels kicking up fallen leaves as she passed, the wind getting cooler the closer to the water she got. Aaron was sitting by an abandoned corner of the docks. She strolled over and he looked back with a smile as she approached.
"Ms. Schuyler, you look particularly exquisite today." She smiled with a smile and a slight blush on her cheeks. She was inwardly horrified that after two years of knowing each other and a year of friendship, she still blushed. She held a hand out and helped him to stand.
"How was New Jersey?" She asked, as he got steady on his feet.
"It's New Jersey, you know how that is, but I learned valuable experience there. Everything seems like it's falling into place. The war is going to come but think about what the world could be like after that."
"'We hold these truths to be self-evident that all men are created equal.'"
"'That they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.' You read it."
"Of course. It seems your dreams are shared by more people than we thought."
"Not just my dream, our dreams. We'll get there." He said, gripping her hand. Eliza nodded with a smile. He was right, they would get there.
"I would like it very much if you would take a walk with me on this lovely Fall afternoon."
"Of course, sir. You don't have to ask." She looped her arm through his as they began strolling. She couldn't help but wonder at how this could be them, this could be them forever.
1777
Aaron Burr's Apartment
Eliza looked up at the quaint building as she stood slightly in an alley while she waited for Aaron to come down and let her in. He had been spending much of his time in New York now and even though they saw each other more than not, they still exchanged letters. He told her of his various misadventures: how he banged his head twice on the same pipe and was covered in bruises because he kept falling out of the bed in his new apartment. Eliza quite wanted to wrap him up and lock him away to stop him from hurting himself and yet that probably wouldn't help.
Aaron had sent a message to her through Jon that he urgently needed to see her and so Eliza had snuck out and made her way to Aaron's place in the night. She looked over to the door as it opened and Aaron waved her in, she climbed the steps and stepped into his apartment, pulling the shawl draped over her head and shoulders closer to conceal her face. Aaron led her to the small living room lit up with candles. She smiled at him and he smiled back but it was a weak smile which made hers drop.
"What's wrong? Jon made it sound quite urgent."
"I… I wanted to inform you before you find out some other way, I've enlisted to the army." Eliza froze.
"You… you did what?"
"It is my duty as a citizen of this nation and as a man to-"
"I don't want to hear about your duty, I know what your duty is, I'm just…" Eliza paused again. Aaron was staring at her as if waiting for her to explode, she wasn't quite sure she wasn't going to. Instead she straightened her back and tilted her up ever so slightly, portraying as much strength in her stance as she could. She knew he could see through it but that didn't stop her.
"I'm just surprised. Why didn't you tell you were doing this?"
"War is a dangerous thing. You know that. There is always a chance that I may not make it back and I needed to make this decision without thinking about what I may lose in the process." Eliza stared at him as he stood closer to her.
"Eliza, my dear Eliza, the way I feel for you I know could be nothing less than the truest, purest form of love a heart can produce. If I am going to join this war, I simply cannot go without telling you that if I could and you would grant it, I would spend my life with you." Eliza swallowed thickly as her eyes roamed his face, the candle was flickering over his skin illuminating his face orange and showing Eliza all of the emotions splayed out across it. The sincerity, the emotions she dared not name laid bare in his eyes. She stepped closer to him, her hand trembling as she raised it to his cheek. Aaron stepped into her space, his breath blowing across her lips.
"Mr. Burr… Aaron." Her voice trembled as she spoke, her heart pounded as they got closer and closer until finally their lips were pressed together. Aaron raised a hand to the back of her head and pulled her closer, kissing her deeper. Secretly, in the back of her mind, this was what she wanted. She never wanted to admit it to herself because it scared her. She did not ever picture this. She had never been one to try to grab the spotlight, it had always been a reality that Angelica would have her pick first, she would marry and then Eliza would and then Peggy would. More than likely the matches would be ones fostered by their father or Angelica but here Eliza was, here she had been, gallivanting around with a man behind her father's back. Before now it was all very innocent, before now she could say their interaction never veered on the inappropriate but not anymore.
If she were telling the truth, she didn't care about that. What she really cared about was the fact that the man she was kissing, the man who she was falling in love with, if she hadn't already, had a hourglass hanging over his head. He was going away to a place where the chances that he could die were great. The chances of them having a future together? Slim. Eliza pushed at his shoulders and Aaron stepped back. She turned and took a few steps away from him, her eyes welling up with tears as her fingers brushed at her tingling lips.
"Eliza?" He asked, a hand on her shoulder. She shook him off, crossing her arms across her chest.
"I—I can't. I can't do this. Not if you're… you have a duty and you're going to do it and I thank you for your service, I do, but the thought you may not stay alive to see-"
"Eliza, what is it you once told me? Hold heart and have faith. Can't you do that for me?"
"My father has enlisted and now so have you. I don't know if I can deal with both of you at once. It's… it's too much. Everyone must die at some but does that mean that you must put yourself straight in its path? And yet, for this cause, you must. I know that. It's unreasonable to ask anything else of you. Your family's legacy, this can secure it. I just… I need time." She said, swiping at a tear before it could stain her cheek. She almost wanted to laugh at herself, there wasn't enough time, there was never enough time.
"Eliza, can we just-"
"I'll write you." She said, cutting him off, before she quickly walked out of his apartment leaving him alone.
1778
The Schuyler Estate
Eliza had not spoken to Aaron in 6 months. She tried to make herself write but nothing she said ever sounded right to her and ultimately she threw the letters away. That didn't deter him though. He still sent her letters and told her about his time away, a very watered-down version anyway. He told her about the men he served with, he told her when it was hard to fight, told her about the nightmares and horrible food and the lost brothers-in-arms. He also told her about the friends he made and some of the funnier shenanigans they got up to. She wished she could say something but nothing ever seemed like enough. She had contacted her father to have Aaron moved from Quebec when it got really bad and knew that he was now in Washington's camp. She couldn't think of a better place for him to be. Perhaps he could secure a position that would see him off the battlefield at the general's camp.
She sat in her room at the upstate manor re-reading through his letters when a scream broke her concentration. She shot up in alarm, running downstairs and to the common room to see Angelica holding a flailing Peggy in her arms as the girl wailed and screamed.
"He's gone, he's gone, he's gone." She kept screaming. Angelica stroked the girl's hair as she glanced at Eliza standing in the doorway.
"What is the meaning of this?" She asked.
"Jon is dead. He's gone." Peggy exclaimed, crying harder. Eliza gasped, a hand to her mouth. She wasn't close to the man but he had been a fixture in Peggy's life for three years now and he was Aaron's closest friend. She made her way into the room and hugged Peggy from the front, whispering words of comfort into the girl's ear. They didn't feel enough either.
She waited until night had fallen and Peggy was in a fitful induced sleep before she grabbed a piece of parchment and began to write.
My dearest, Aaron
I know it has been quite some time since I have sent a correspondence to you and not the reverse but it seems cruel fate has seen fit to give this letter necessity. I was quite distressed to learn of the fate of the incomparable Jonathan Bellamy, yet I know your feelings on the horrible matter are ten times as worse. Please know that even now my heart and mind are firmly on you and if only we could touch, I would hold you as tightly as humanly possible to be sure that you feel my heart beating and I feel yours and we both know that life, at least, still flows through us. Jon, I know, would want you to carry on, would want you to keep fighting, just as much as I do. I don't pretend to know the challenges you face on the battlefield and now, coupled with this grief, your troubles must seem twofold but hold heart, have faith and know that I wait for you on the other side. I hope that can be enough. I hope I can be enough. I pray and count the seconds until our next meeting, sir.
Your Dear Eliza.
1780
A Winter's Ball
17 months.
It had been 17 months since Eliza had last seen Aaron but they exchanged letters as much as they could. Their correspondences got longer and longer as Eliza began to respond. She did what she could to help him through his grief while simultaneously helping Peggy. She did what little she could to make sure he was safe with her father's help. As unethical as that may have seemed, she didn't do well with doing nothing. She almost had a heart attack as she learned he almost died of heat stroke at Monmouth but hadn't been able to see him. She had ended up telling Angelica the truth of her relationship with him and though she was slightly hurt that Eliza hadn't told her before, she accepted it. Now the time had finally come for them to meet again at the soldier's ball her father decided to throw.
She watched the door like a hawk. Many men came into the room. Some of them were quite handsome. A few caught her eye including a man with tanned skin and long hair that made her heart go 'boom' in her chest but Aaron followed him in and her heart began to flutter as a smile broke out on her lips. She made her way through the crowd as quickly as she could towards him.
"Mr. Burr!" She called. He and the tan skinned man turned around to face her. Aaron smiled as brightly as she did as she approached.
"Ms. Schuyler." He said nodding at her. Eliza wanted nothing more than to embrace him but it was inappropriate in this setting.
"It's good to see your face." Eliza said, not at all caring about present company. The man gave Burr a look before turning to her.
"You must be the famous Eliza. I've heard a lot about you. Too much perhaps."
"Have you?" She looked at Aaron but his head was ducked down.
"Eliza, this is Alexander Hamilton. He shares a tent with me at our base."
"Pleasure to finally put a face to the late night letters and blushing." Alexander said, holding a hand out to her. She placed hers in his and let him kiss the back of it.
"Thank you for your service in our army, Mr. Hamilton." She said, as she said to every soldier at the ball.
"You'll be fine on your own if I escort Ms. Schuyler to the dance floor, won't you Hamilton? I trust you'll avoid a fight."
"No promises." Aaron rolled his eyes before holding a hand out to her, a question in his eyes. She took his hand and let him lead her out the the dance floor. She briefly looked around the room to locate her sisters. Peggy was by their father's side eating at the tables and Angelica was now standing next to Mr. Hamilton talking to him. Eliza turned her gaze back to Aaron as they began to dance.
"You know, six years ago I asked you to dance." Eliza said, looking up at him. Her hand pressed closer to his as she reveled in the skin to skin contact.
"It took us long enough."
"I'll say."
"I have a question to ask you, if it's not too much."
"You can ask me anything."
"I have a month of leave and I would like to spend that time courting you properly so that one day I might have your hand in marriage." Eliza felt her heart stutter in her chest as Aaron stared down at her.
"Why waste time? Why not just marry? We've known each other for six years."
"I don't want anyone questioning your virtue. For the sake of tradition, it's prudent we do this right. However, I want to ask your permission first before I go to your father for his."
"If we must keep up this charade then we must. As long as I can be your wife. That would be enough."
