Authors Notes:
This is something I had been wanting to write for a while, just some straight up WAFF. I love the little sequence of episodes from Asuka being introduced through to Leliel. It's a really cool opportunity to see the relationships develop between the characters and catch a glimpse of them before things really go to hell. With this I wanted to expand a bit on that scene where they're watching the stars after all the power goes out. I've always had this little headcanon of Asuka being afraid of the dark so decided to bring that in here with the cute idea of them looking up at the stars together. It's only a One-Shot and it's just something super fluffy and WAFFy for a Sunday afternoon. Enjoy :)
XXX
Shinji lay himself back on the soft grass and stared up into the night sky. Ahead of him from his position on the hill was the sprawling metropolis of Tokyo-3. Not that anyone would be able to see much right now.
He wondered how long it would be before the power would come back on within the city. Misato and the others have said it shouldn't be too much longer. Admittedly he wasn't too bothered about when it would come back on. He quite liked how the night sky looked without all of the light pollution from the city.
To either side of him sat Asuka and Rei, they too were looking around silently. He turned ever so slightly to sneak a glance at their faces. Rei, as she usually did looked to be deep in thought about something, or perhaps nothing at all. Shinji had always had trouble with figuring out what people might be thinking and for Rei this was doubly so. For now she seemed to be focused on one of many constellations above them.
Asuka on the other hand was much more active. Her gaze constantly flickering between the city and the stars. He wasn't really able to see her face too clearly due to the lack of light but on it was something he recognized, a look or worry. He laughed to himself for even daring to think that. Asuka couldn't have been scared, there was nothing for her to worry about here and besides Asuka wasn't scared of anything.
So he looked back up at the sky, marvelling at the simplistic beauty that the stars offered him.
"It's sort of ironic… without electricity and artificial lights the sky can look so beautiful." He said, feeling himself blush. He didn't know what had possessed himself to come out with that.
"Yeah but without the lights it seems like there are no humans here." Asuka offered up as a reply. He supposed she was right. The metropolis beneath them did look so empty and barren without any light whatsoever. He wondered just what all the people down there were doing right now. They'd have been let out of the shelters hours ago so had they all returned home? Were their people out in one of the Tokyo-3 parks looking up at the stars just as they were? Were the families of Tokyo-3 gathered in their homes sat in candlelight hoping power would return soon?
Suddenly, as if in response to what Asuka had said, the lights slowly started to come back on within the city. It started from the centre of Tokyo-3 and then seemed to spiral outwards until eventually the entire city was lit up once again.
He could see her give what seemed to be a small smile of satisfaction and she seemed to relax herself, "There, I feel much more comfortable this way."
"Man fears the darkness and so he scrapes away at the edges of it with fire." Came a soft voice that up until now had not spoken. The two of them turned to face the source of it, both a little bit surprised at what Rei had said.
Asuka gave a short laugh, "Huh, philosophy huh?"
Shinjis' mind however went back to some of his questions from earlier in the day. From the time he was asking about the motives of the Angels and why they would be attacking humanity.
"I-Is that what makes mankind a special species? Is that why the Angels are attacking us?" He asked, wondering if what Rei had said might offer up some answer to his question.
Before Rei was able to reply Asuka let out a dismissive laugh, "Hah, are you stupid? Who knows what they think!"
Rei however seemed to stop and think about Shinjis' question for a few moments before dismissing it as Asuka had done. Unfortunately she could offer up no answer to his question, "I am unaware of them having any objective."
"I see… So we don't know what they want or why really?"
"Well it isn't like they're talkative is it? They show up and attack us so does it matter what their objective really is?"
"I guess not…" Shinji said after a time. Asuka was right, the Angels had shown up and attacked NERV and by extension humanity first. It was up to him, Rei and Asuka to fight and put a stop to them. What the Angels wanted didn't seem to matter in those cases.
He had to wonder though if perhaps there was something there that drew them to attack humanity. Some purpose for them doing so or maybe if there was a way to stop them. He wondered if his father knew, or if any communication had ever been attempted.
He figured that it probably hadn't been tried. It was a bizarre image to imagine his father attempting to communicate with something like an Angel. He could barely imagine his father attempting to communicate with anyone unless it was necessary. Except of course for the special case of Rei Ayanami.
He looked at Rei Ayanami again as she seemed to go back to being deep in thought. She caught his briefly before suddenly standing up and announcing, "I believe it is time for me to go now that the power has returned."
Shinji stood to say goodbye, "Oh… would you like us to walk with you?" He asked.
"That will not be necessary. The distance to the facility and transport is not so far that I require accompaniment at this time. Goodbye."
"Oh, well goodbye then Ayanami."
Asuka threw her hand into the air and waved, "See ya Wondergirl."
Shinji remained standing as he watched Rei turn around and walk away silently. He waited until she was barely visible in the darkness and sat himself back down facing the city, next to him he heard Asuka speak, "Well who'd have thought it, Wondergirl has an interest in philosophy. Turns out she might be human after all!"
Shinji just frowned at Asukas' remark, "You shouldn't be so hard on Ayanami."
"Aww, is the Third Child worried that I might upset the blue hairs Android? What's your deal with her anyway?"
He just lowered his head, "I don't know?"
"I just… I guess I just wonder what the deal is between her and my father I suppose."
Asuka couldn't help but sigh with annoyance, "Urgh, back to the father thing are we?"
"Sorry…"
If she heard him she gave no sign of having done so, instead she continued to speak.
"Look are you a man or what? Your father is a bit of a dick, who cares? It isn't like you don't have more things in your life to fill that gap right?"
"I guess…"
Shinji looked upwards again and was thankful that they were in such a place that the lights from the city had done little to pollute his view of the stars. He simply gazed at them, all the while thinking about what Asuka had just said to him. Whilst he had not thought of his father in such harsh terms before maybe they were some truth to what she had said.
He wanted a relationship with his father, at least he wanted to be able to talk to his father and maybe understand him. He wanted to know what had happened to his mother and why he was seemingly abandoned all those years ago. He wanted to know the answers to those things that had made him unhappy.
Yet it wasn't like he was not happy with certain things in his life now. He now had a small circle of friends. He now had a guardian in Misato who cared for him and, dare he think it, was the closest thing to a parent he had ever had. Maybe Asuka was right, maybe he should just get over the thing with his father.
Asuka stretched out her arms and yawned, "Anyway, we should probably go back ourselves. Let's get going."
He waited for a moment as she stood up and turned away. He wasn't quite ready to go back just yet he decided. He called over to her, "Actually… I'm going to stay here a bit longer. I want to… stay and look at the stars a bit more."
She had already started to walk away from him confident in her that little obedient Shinji would follow along. When he had said he was going to stay a bit longer she froze immediately in her tracks. She immediately turned around and this time tried to be a bit more persuasive, "Are you sure? You wouldn't want to make Misato mad at you for coming home late would you? I mean she'd probably send out Section 2 if you were a minute late. Probably think you'd have ran away again."
She frowned wondering if maybe she had gone a bit too far with the last remark. She saw him wince a little bit at the mention of him running away, he probably didn't know that she knew about that. Technically she wasn't supposed to but she had been bored one day and made an effort to read through Shinjis' file. She almost wished she hadn't done, learning certain things about him had made her uncomfortable. There were too many similarities and because of it too many confused feelings.
This didn't seem to persuade him though, he kept his back to her and she could see him shake his head, "No… Misato said that she was going to be working late anyway and probably wouldn't be back until the morning. I'll only be out a little bit longer anyway."
"Fine! Suit yourself then." She tried to keep the bitterness out of her voice as she turned to walk away again.
'Hmph, there I was offering him a good opportunity to walk a pretty girl home and he just refuses it. Not like I need him to walk me home anyw-'
She had taken only a few steps forward before she came to a stop and her thought was immediately stopped in its tracks. As she gazed ahead into the darkness and felt a chill run up her spine the truth of why she had been trying to persuade Shinji to walk with her was bubbling up to the surface. Her heart started to beat just a little bit faster as she attempted to calm herself down.
'No… not right now… it's just the night time. You're above this Asuka, you're better than this. Just a ten minute walk and you'll be there, you certainly don't need him.'
The words she had spoken previously started to rattle around inside her head. The ones about how she preferred the lights of the city to the darkness that they were in. What she had said had been the truth, she always preferred being in cities.
There was of course another reason for her to prefer the lights of the city. It was a reason that she could not admit to anyone. It was something she had barely admitted to herself but she was afraid of the dark.
She looked ahead of her straining her eyes to try to see the facility. It was a dimly lit building only about five or ten minutes down the road. Yet in this light it looked like an eternity away.
Asuka turned around and considered her options. She couldn't force Shinji to come with her but she certainly wasn't going to tell him why she wasn't able to go on her own. She knew what she was dealing with was stupid. She knew logically that there would be nothing out there and yet she knew in the darkness lurked the only thing that could get to her.
It was something that happened to her each and every night when she closed her bedroom door, turned off her light and climbed into bed. She would fall asleep and it, the nightmares would come for her. They haunted her every night, they shown her images she wished she could forget and ones she hoped would never come to pass. They forced her to wake up drenched in sweat and feeling sick to her stomach.
Even as she looked out now she could feel the same pangs of fear rising up within her. Her eyes darted around the area and she wondered if maybe the nightmares could strike her here.
Asuka turned around to look at Shinji again and simply watched him for a few moments. She hated herself for admitting this to herself, perhaps even more so than she hated herself for being scared of the dark but she needed Shinji to walk with her. She needed him to go with her, this meek little boy who she could barely stand to be around.
Asuka frowned and realized she was probably being unfair. Shinji wasn't quite that bad. She supposed that he could have his moments, he had done well when they beat the Angel today. He had done very well when he had dived into that volcano to save her in the last battle. Maybe that meek little boy wasn't quite as bad as he seemed. With that in mind she decided that she would honour him with her presence, for just a little bit longer.
She sat herself back down beside him and looked up trying to see what it was Shinji saw, "So you like looking at the stars huh?"
"Yeah, I've always found it relaxing. It's like so much has changed a lot in my life since I came here. I've met so many people and I've had to get used to a new place, school and piloting Eva."
"Experiencing new things is part of being human though isn't it?"
"I know that but… sometimes it's too much. It overwhelms me so I like to look up there because… nothing up there has changed since I was a kid. It calms me down to just look at it and see that."
Despite what Shinji was saying to her she didn't really find looking up at the stars to be that relaxing or calming. All she could see was black with the occasional twinkling every now and again to signifying some long dead star. It some ways it was just like the darkness that stretched out around then, it was terrifying.
"Are you alright Asuka?"
Asuka looked around in confusion and then realized that she was actually shaking. She nodded, "Fine… just cold. These plugsuits weren't really made for night time."
Shinji reached down beside him and picked up a folded object. She raised a curious eyebrow at him as he started to unfold the blanket.
"When did you bring that?"
She could see him smile as he handed it to her, "I brought it with us when we came up here. I didn't know what the ground was going to be like and I just remembered it now. Here take it."
She took the blanket from him and wrapped it around herself. Immediately a feel of warmth spread throughout her and eased the shivering. It occurred to her that Shinji could be quite thoughtful at times.
She realized that that was something of an understatement. She knew in truth that Shinji was very thoughtful and was not really deserving of the grief that she gave him. From the day she had moved in with him and Misato he had always been kind to her, he had cooked for both her and Misato without needing to be asked, he cleaned the apartment, did all their laundry and even prepared lunches for her for school.
She closed the distance between herself and Shinji and draped half of the blanket over him, "No point in you catching a cold as well. God knows what your father you say, probably 'Get in the Robot Shinji' knowing him."
She wondered how her joke would go over and to her surprise he actually laughed. She wondered if it was what she had said or the impression she had done of his father that made him laugh.
"He probably would, last time I was ill Doctor Akagi still made me do a sync test. I nearly ended up throwing up in the entry plug."
"She's sadistic that woman, she creeps me out. Maybe more so than your father." Asuka shuddered again although this time it was not from the cold or her fear of the dark but from her recalling the memory of the last medical exam she had received from Ritsuko. That woman's hands were ridiculously cold.
Asuka wondered if maybe Shinji had ever had to go through similar medical exams. She stifled a giggle at the thought of him stood up and stripped completed naked.
It was there that her thoughts stalled. She found her eyes running themselves over Shinji once again. She had to admit, he wasn't bad in fact he was pretty cute, perhaps not up the standard of a man like Kaji but with a bit of work he could get there. If Asuka got him the right clothes, the right type of aftershave it would smarten him up a bit.
Asuka shuddered at the thought unable to believe that she was actually thinking about Shinji Ikari in such a way. She couldn't believe that she was actually sullying her mind with the thought of what Shinji looked like under his plugsuit, or what it'd be like for him to wrap his arms around her or even kiss her softly on the lips.
She found herself subconsciously getting closer to him. She was at the point where she could feel his warmth next to her as the two of them huddled under the blanket. She needed a distraction from thinking about Shinji.
"So tell me about them then Third, what's up there?"
"Huh?"
"The stars you idiot. I'm asking you about what stars are up there, you're the expert aren't you."
"Oh."
There was a pause as Shinji looked to be figuring out what to do. She resisted the urge to tell him to get on with it and instead sat there waiting. Finally his arm stretched out and she followed where his finger was pointing up towards one of the brighter stars.
"W-Well that one is called Polaris and the constellation..."
She followed his finger as it seemed to trace out a shape in the air. She tried to visualize the lines in her own mind as he continued explaining, "it Ursa Minor… or the 'Little Bear.'"
"It doesn't really look like a bear..." she stated flatly.
Shinji gave a laugh, "I know, they were a bit imaginative I guess. The line from Polaris upwards is supposed to be the tail, and the shape around the four stars is the bear itself."
"I can kinda see it I suppose, so show me another one then."
Shinji pointed towards another star, that one is Daneb and..." He pointed towards another star, "That one there is Albireo."
Asuka nodded, "Okay, what is this like a snake or something?"
He shook his head and she watched his finger move towards two more stars, "No, you have a line between those two and these two cut through it. That's Cygnus."
"When our weary world was young..." Asuka said to herself and grinned. She wondered if Shinji would understand that, probably not. She doubted that late 70s progressive rock was something Shinji had much of an interest in.
"So what is it supposed to be?" She asked.
"A swan..." He answered.
"Seriously?"
"Yup, Albireo is the beak and Daneb is the hind, with the others making up the wings."
Asuka looked up again trying to visualize it. Again she could kinda see it but not quite, maybe another time she might have called the idea of seeing these imaginary shapes in the sky stupid or childish but she was actually enjoying this. It was nice to actually see Shinji smile and seem passionate about something.
She locked away her need to shut him down and instead rested her head gently onto his shoulder. She felt him jolt slightly and wondered if maybe he would pull away. Thankfully he didn't but he did start to stutter as he pointed out another star.
"T-Those ones up there..." He pointed and traced out a semi-circle. By now Asuka had her eyes half closed and barely listening. Shinji was warm, comforting and she hadn't realized just how tired she was.
"Mmm..." She offered as a response.
"That's the Corona Borealis... it's supposed to be a crown..."
Shinji stopped when he got no response from Asuka. He turned his head slightly to see that whilst he was pointing out the constellation she had somehow positioned herself further down, her head resting softly on his leg. She had her eyes closed and her mouth was slightly open as she slept. The blanket covering her up to her shoulders.
"A-Asuka?" He said, hoping that maybe it'd be enough to wake her up. When that didn't work Shinji wondered what he should do next. He knew he certainly wouldn't be able to leave her here and the two of them would be unable to stay out all night. He was fearful of waking her up though or of putting his hands on her in an attempt to wake her.
For now he just looked at her, studying how peaceful she looked. It was hard for him to deny just how pretty Asuka was. His friends always told him how lucky he was to live with two beautiful women in Asuka and Misato right before they would comment on what a shame it was that Asuka acted the way she did.
He thought that they were sometimes a bit unfair in regards to Asuka, at the same time she was more than a bit unfair towards his friends. Asuka might have at times been loud or quick to insult others. She might have been arrogant but that wasn't her all the time. Asuka could be a kind person, she was always the first to offer Shinji help with homework if he needed it. In situations like with his father she was always on hand to offer some sort of advice or give him the boost he needed.
If it wasn't for her he wouldn't have made the attempt to contact his father earlier in the day. It might not have had the results he hoped for but as she had told him, at least he had tried and that was worth something.
In truth the two of them got along fairly well. There were arguments from time to time, but Shinji did his best to avoid those situations. Besides he quite enjoyed doing things like making their lunches and cooking for the three of them. It was something he was good at and got praise for.
Shinji decided that as much as he enjoyed looking at the pretty redhead lying in his lap he should probably do something. He couldn't imagine it being too comfortable for Asuka if she stayed there for a long time and a chill was starting to set in, that even the blanket wouldn't help against.
He placed his hand on her shoulder and shook gently calling her name again, "Asuka..."
He eyes opened and she looked straight up at him before sitting up, "Huh... what happened? What are you doing?"
At first she tried to muster some sort of angry response to him touching her and waking her up but she had nothing to offer. She was too tired.
"Y-You fell asleep Asuka."
Asuka glanced down as Shinji's lap and remembered what had happened. He had been talking about something and she had felt a sudden wave of tiredness wash over her. She had glanced down at his lap and feeling his warmth next to her slowly placed her head there and closed her eyes. He was so warm, so comfortable.
"Huh? No... I was just resting my eyes, I wouldn't fall asleep..." She pointed at his leg, "Especially not..."
Asuka still had nothing she could offer as a reply. She was so tired, the feeling had hit her like a freight train. She felt a warmth over her hand and looked down to see that Shinji had grabbed hold of it.
Again a part of her wanted to reply angrily, tell him to get off her and demand to know what he was doing but it was quickly suppressed. Suppressed by a strange glowing feeling like butterflies in her stomach. She felt her cheeks start to glow, Shinji had taken her by the hand. Was it the tiredness she was feeling or something else?
"We should probably go back now. I'm feeling really tired too... and it's getting cold."
She nodded, "Good idea."
He rose to his feet and folded the blanket before tucking it under one arm. Using his other arm he extended a hand to Asuka to help her get up. Her own attempt to stand nearly failing as she struggled with her tiredness.
"I'm more than capable of getting up by myself you know." She stated flatly once she had rose to her feet, "I guess I'll thank you for it anyway though."
She rubbed her eyes and groggily turned again to face the darkness. Instantly she felt that same pang of fear from before. She might be fine now with Shinji here but she could feel the sense of anxiety at the thought of what'd happen when they got back home. Asuka would step into that apartment and go to her room, she'd change into her nightclothes and climb into bed with the lights off. She'd close her eyes and then the nightmares would come.
She looked down to see that her hand was still inside of Shinji's. Without realizing it their fingers had become intertwined with one another. His hand felt warm and comforting. She gripped it a little bit tighter and looked ahead once more. The darkness didn't seem all that frightening with his hand there to hold.
A strange idea took hold of her, she had tried it once before after a particularly turbulent night's sleep. Maybe it would work again.
"Actually... I'm feeling a little bit dizzy. As much as I hate to admit it I'm going to need your help... think you can handle that?"
Shinji gave her a look of concern, "Are you feeling alright Asuka? Do you need me to call Misato or anyone?"
She shook her head, "No, I'm fine just... if you can lead me and get me back I'll be alright."
"Alright then."
Slowly and cautiously they started moving down the path towards the facility and their waiting transport. The two of them fell into a comfortable silence as Asuka kept herself close to Shinji and allowed him to lead her through the night.
She felt little fear as he guided her along the path. Instead all she felt was a satisfying warm from where their two hands were intertwined with each other's. He had a strong but gentle grip, she started to wonder what it'd be like to feel his arms around her.
'What is wrong with me...? I must be tired if I'm thinking about being held by Shinji Ikari...'
Still as she thought more about it the more appealing the idea seemed to her. She didn't just want to hold his hand anymore, she didn't want to fall asleep on his lap but instead fall asleep in his arms.
"Hey Shinji..."
"Yeah?"
"Is it... would it be alright if I stayed in your room tonight?"
"A-Asuka are you..."
"Yes or no, can I?"
Shinji wondered for a moment if this was some sort of trick or trap from Asuka. A way of giving her an excuse to call him a pervert or yell at him. Yet as he looked at her face he saw no traces of a grin or malice. Maybe it was the light but all he saw was sincerity and tiredness.
"Y-Yeah... if you want."
"Thank you."
