The EPF should NOT be doing THIS.


Unskilled Penguins Wanted!
A True Random Story by Chipettegirl10

If you've ever wondered why Herbert succeeded in blowing up the PSA, I finally figured it out. Now, I could just come right out and say it, but there would be no point to this fanfic, would there? No, there wouldn't. So, I'm going to tell it to you through a story from my point of view.

It was a typical day. After redoing my igloo (a candy-colored split-level) the day before and just wrapping up redoing my brother's igloo (a normal ice-blue-colored split-level), I headed home. Nothing was on TV but Penguin House Hunters. I had read all the books in my small library room. There was nothing good to eat in the kitchen (note to self: go shopping), and my slushy machine just made me cold. It was a dreary, rainy day on Club Penguin. There was no fun to it. I was purely bored. My puffles hadn't a care in the world. They hopped around with each other as if they were in a meadow.

I tucked my black-and-yellow checkered scarf into my purple hoodie and pulled up the hood. Yanking my pink sneakers on and pulling on my white designer shades (which also functioned as seeing glasses), I headed out the door. The bun bounced inside my hoodie as I ran through the rain up to the Ski Village. My damp bangs stuck to my face as I headed inside the Everyday Phoning Facility.

The same computer screen that greeted me everyday did just that as I walked through the door. Then it went on its duty as the "click here to take the test" screen. I took the test. The first time, I aimed for a perfect score. It went by fast, but it was a bit boring. I had obeyed the computer's every command. I recalled the book in the book room I had seen earlier: The Spice of Life. My life wasn't very "spicy" as you would say. I lived like every other penguin. So I decided to spice it up. I took the test again.

I clicked the screen.

Take the test?

YES NO

Well of course I hit yes. It cleared out the room for me. The target popped out of the wall, while the computer gave me instruction to throw a snowball at it.

"NO!" I shouted at the screen. "I refuse to hit the target under the GROUNDS that THIS is a FREE COUNTRY!" The computer did not seem fazed, as it still read the instructions. I glared at it. "No!" I said again. The computer still did not move. I threw snowballs at the camera, computer screen, and power box. Nothing happened. Finally, I hit the wall above the square where the target popped out.

The screen changed. You missed…but you were close. Let's see how fast you are. Walk to the green square. "No!" I shouted once more at the commanding computer screen. I shouted a few more words of refusal before giving in. Cages popped up around me. "I'M NO ZOO ANIMAL!" I yelled. Run to the red square. Run as fast as you can. Ready…set…go! And the screen counted my seconds. I sat there, blinking. It told me to hurry, and that I was running out of time. When the clock hit one minute, time was up. I had not moved. The screen told me racing was not my thing. That's very wrong. I love to race. Just not for "the man." Or, uh, it would be the computer in this case. It told me that now we would be testing how well I hide. I'm basically a ninja when it comes to that (just ask Sensei). I was telling me to move away from the green square. "I will not move, I'm quite comfortable," I argued.

The computer said nothing more, but I could tell that if it was a person, there would be impatience written all over their face. I grinned smugly at the computer. "Fine, I'll move." I moved away, and then tried jumping back to the spot, screaming bloody murder. That failed. An invisible wall set up as the pillar went back down. It told me to hide, and that I had twenty seconds to do it. I plunked myself down on the floor in the center of the room. "I'M DONE!" I yelled. The computer ignored me as it went on counting down. Then when it was time to be found, I was spotted right away. The camera spotted you! It told me in a nice way that I was no good at hiding. I grinned. Then I noticed it was preparing a cage trap. "OOH, A CAGE TRAP, I LOVE THOSE!" I shouted, stepping inside before it told me to. Electric, blue bars came down. The computer told me I had to escape in 1 minute. I sat inside the cage. What are the bars made of? The computer had asked around the forty-second mark. I shrugged. "Is it gamma rays?" I guessed stupidly. It was obvious they weren't. "Solar power…hmm, I don't know. I pass!" I almost added 'like a girl' at the end of that sentence. And before you knew it, time was up. The computer asked me politely to step away from the blue square. I stayed in my spot. The invisible force pushed me out. I again tried jumping in, as well as screaming bloody murder like last time.

Now it was time to add up my scores.

Aim was filled up three-quarters of the way (because I was close), but the other three were filled up one-eighth of the way, due to my poor (but entertaining) obedience skills.

You didn't do very well…but that's okay. Take the elevator or…hit the target to take the test again. I was amazed by this. If this had been school where they averaged grades, I would have flunked this test. This was stupid. My brother snickered when I sat with him later that day.

"You FLUNKED?" he said. I glared. "You didn't let me finish. I flunked, but they still accepted me," I said. Well, I was there in the first place, but still. The message had to be the same for everyone; it's just fairer that way. The ends of his lips…or beak, I should say, curled into a smile. "That explains why Rookie's still here."

And then penguins go and wonder how Herbert succeeded blowing up the PSA in his corniest idea ever.


This is a TRUE story! I actually DID flunk the test purposely! REVIEW PLEASE!