It's a thankless job, but somebody's got to do it! Like a mop, and a broom, no one wants a thankless job!


Footsteps splashed into puddles, rapidly running from the few bars of Ode to Joy that echoed in a hum. Heavy breathing suggested the owner of the rapid feet was running in terror, and who could blame them? In fact, the moment he realized who it was that was after him, was the moment he knew his life was forfeit. Still, he tried to run as far away as possible, but that humming - that song only got louder as the singer came closer. He was doomed! FUCK. And now cornered. Wheezing echoed against the alley walls, only to be usurped by the humming. More bars of this classical song. He fumbled to pull a gun from his pocket, his hands shaking as he aimed for a looming shadow. So close. If he could hold his hand steady just enough, he could kill him before he got too close! Hahaha, it was the perfect plan! Only...

"N-NO!" he shouted, firing his gun rapidly at the man in he white suit. White Suit was fast, but not too fast. A bullet grazed him, a frown set on his face as he brushed a thumb against the bullet. He shook his head, tsking lightly. The terrified man noted a gap in White Suit's teeth. He swallowed the lump in his throat and slid to the ground. "P-Please-! Please, I'll give you anything you want! PLEASE DON'T KILL ME-" Words were cut short as a clean cut slid across his jugular, cutting just so the man died, but didn't cause a blood squirt. Instead, the blood just dribbled from the dying man's throat. He reached out, gurgling at him before collapsing.

A heavy sigh escaped White Suit. "Messy, messy, messy," he mumbled, snapping rubber gloves on to rid the body of any known evidence. An angry wind howled through the alley. A phone rang, Ode to Joy echoing quietly. A shift came from White Suit, but he made no urgent move to answer it. Just before the last ring, he answered it with a curt "hello." He spoke not another word as the person on the other line proceeded to talk, a nod here and there in response. "Understood," he finally said. "I will report to you soon." He hung up then, letting it slide into his breast pocket. Clearly there was nothing left to do here. He'd have to call C.U.C. to collect the body before the police discovered it.

Another ring. My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and they're like it's better than yours, damn right it's better than yours, I can teach you, but I have to char- "ARC," said the young man with the gap-toothed scowl. "How many times have I asked you to not change the ringtones on my phone? Especially to something so distasteful."

"Pfft, what? You don't like Fergie? Come on, don't you wanna attempt to dance to it?"

"That is hardly the case," said White Suit, leaving the scene of the crime. "Why are you calling me now?"

"Pinky got hurt and needs his Mommy-" the woman named ARC was rather suddenly interrupted by shouting from behind her.

"I TOLD YOU TO QUIT CALLING ME THAT STUPID NAME!"

"I hurt his feelings. You'll be back soon then?"

"Yes," sighed White Suit. "I'll be there shortly. Send C.U.C. to my coordinates please."

"Aye, aye, Cap'n." said the woman, and the line went dead. White Suit chuckled gently and slipped into the night.

This was a typical night for the Assassins, though Eddward was usually more careful about his targets. As he arrived at Headquarters, he could hear pleasant laughing coming from behind the doors. Seemed everyone was home for the time being, how quaint. Eddward was far too busy to kick back and relax, but he bid his friends and comrades a good evening as he walked by them.

"Hey, Sockhead, where ya going?" Eddy called out to him. He was listening to Nazz tell her story of her target from that morning.

"Medical Wing," Edd responded with a wave of his hand and moved down the halls. As he walked, he removed his soiled gloves and paused only to toss them in the garbage that needed to be incinerated. He pat his hands and tipped his hat back, exhaling a bit of air through semi-closed lips. Well, time to get this over with. Open went the doors, and in went Eddward.

"I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS FUCKING HOLY AS SOON AS I'M BETTER I'LL SHOVE A BULLET UP YOUR ASS!" was what Eddward was greeted with. Kevin, a redhead who was usually far more careful during his missions to be holed up in the medical wing, was threatening a violet haired girl who seemed to not care what he had to say whatsoever. Eddward was unamused as Kevin grabbed the closest thing he could reach without moving so much and threw it at her. She laughed and dodged the onslaught, bumping into Edd. Kevin tensed, as did the girl. Quickly she pulled away and smiled sheepishly at him.

"You're instigating him, ARC," Edd scolded with a smile. He wagged a finger at her. She saluted him and quickly left the two alone. Edd's blue eyes glanced over to Kevin. "You are also at fault."

"What the fuck? She started it! I dunno why she keeps using those stupid names and treating me like-"

"She likes you. Please mind your language." He grabbed a medical kit and sat on a rolling stool. He used his feet to roll himself to Kevin and set the kit aside. "She is very good at what she do- Good heavens, what happened to you?" He picked up the others arm.

"I could say the same thing to you. Since when do you get hit?" He brushed his fingers along the thin wound from where the bullet had grazed him. Edd swat at his hand and Kevin shrugged.

"I was careless. Did something bite you?"

"Felt like it." He watched Edd work on cleaning the wounds. "Suit's getting dirty."

"I'll burn it later," said Eddward, knocking his hat back to get a look at what he was doing. He looked annoyed as he cleaned Kevin's wounds, muttering under his breath. "How could you have been so careless? These wounds are terrible, Kevin. It's a good thing you came back so quickly or you may have lost some limbs. Though you will be out of commission for a while until you are completely healed. Lord knows if I let you go, you'll reopen every wound, do something worse, and get yourself killed." Kevin watched him with half-lidded eyes. "I'll have to check you for broken bones, and see if there's any internal bleed- Kevin, please refrain from touching me in inappropriate places whilst I tend to your injuries." Kevin's hand groped a little further and Edd pulled a scalpel on him and stabbed the seat next to the redhead. He instantly stopped and pulled his hand back. "I missed on purpose."

Kevin cleared his throat. "Right. I was just... you look really hot when you're yellin' at me."

"You're deplorable, Kevin."

"I do my best," he smirked. After he was bandaged, Edd carefully examined him for broken bones. During this process, Kevin would not try anything funny, knowing full well that skilled hands could simply kill him if he pushed the wrong buttons. Once satisfied that Kevin wasn't dying from the inside, Eddward pulled away to dispose of anything contaminated. "Thanks, Double Dee."

"My pleasure, Kevin. It is my specialty. Now, I require you to go and get some rest. Tomorrow, I will inspect your wounds once more and see how you're healing. I do ask that you please try and get along with ARC. She has been doing this quite a bit longer than we have, and she is the best Technician we have."

"Ugh, fine." Kevin grabbed his hat and weapons. He grimaced a bit, grunting when he shifted his weight. Edd watched him before offering a hand. "Thanks," he breathed. "Broken ribs... not fun. But hey, you said no internal bleeding, so I'm fine. And I'll be nice to her, I promise. She just... gets under my skin."

"It's done on purpose. You're terribly easy to tease." He'd help Kevin to his room and onto his bed. "This is where I leave you, Kevin. Good night." He wouldn't make it too far, though, with Kevin dragging him back. "Kevin." There was a warning in his tone. "This is not appropriate. You'll open every wou-"

"Man, shut up," said Kevin, pulling him down and kissing him. "I can't do anything physical anyway. Just staying with me ain't a big deal, right?" He poked Edd's nose, something the two shared during intimate moments. "Stay with me, Dork. I'd like the company."

"Yes fine," Eddward admitted in defeat. "But I'll need to change out of these."

"Eh, just sleep naked."

"Kevin," scoffed Edd, pushing him lightly. "Just relax. I'll return momentarily." Kevin sat on the bed, wincing as he breathed. He wouldn't be able to change on his own. When Edd returned, the redhead would embarrassingly ask for help, to which Eddward complied with a kind smile. Moments later, the duo would be snuggled under the covers. Edd had opted to wear his standard black beanie with the white stripes, making Kevin smile. "Good night, Kevin."

"Night, Dork," said Kevin, carefully pulling Edd close and drifting off into a much needed sleep.