He didn't really notice her at first, seated beside him at some bar. Rick C137 was focused on getting "riggity riggity wreckeeedddd," as he'd told Birdperson and Squanch. He sloshed around the whiskey in his highball glass. Rick wasn't particularly interested with adventuring or socializing today, opting to visit an alternate reality Earth where he'd died long ago.

She ordered Jameson, and Rick watched her twirl a piece of deep red hair around her middle finger. Her red tendrils fell to her upper-mid back in slight curls. He had a thing for redheads.

"H-hey, ughh bar-urp-bar tender," he waved the bartender over. "Her d-drink's, her drink's on me. And I'll have a scotch." He slid his empty glass to the edge of the bar, leaving a wet trail of condensation across the wooden top. The woman had turned to him but he didn't pay her any mind, not yet.

"Hey, uh, thanks," she murmured, trying to catch Rick's attention. He'd certainly caught hers when she sat beside him ten minutes ago. Lanky arms and legs, thin torso, broad shoulders. His hair was blueish grey and spiked up around his head. He wasn't young, but he wasn't old. Somewhere dancing in the middle, a youthful face with light wrinkles around his eyes and laugh lines, even though he was frowning with his chin resting on his hand.

"No pro-ogh-lem, babe," he shrugged, his words punctuated with a burp. She was intrigued by his mad scientist getup- the labcoat and hair really gave it away.

The bartender placed their drinks down on the counter, Rick held his up to the woman, and it was the first time he'd seen her face. Her skin was fair and smooth, her pink pout standing out while her icy blue eyes traced Rick's facial features. Her stare made him uncomfortable in a strange way. Not in a fear of getting raped way, but more of he needed to go jerk himself in the bathroom because he was thinking about her lips wrapped around his cock way.

"They-they call me Rick. What's -what's your name?" He belched, his fingers tapping against his cool glass.

"Nevaeh," she pursed her lips. Rick was still thinking about them around his dick.

Rick raised his eyebrows. He glanced at her again, she was sliding her glass between her hands on the bar's countertop. "Heaven? B-backwards?"

"Ironic huh? Because heaven isn't real, God's a fuckin' joke. I guess hell could be real though since we're living it, right?" Her tone was morose, her eyes fixed on the countertop. Rick furrowed his brow, slightly interested in the miserable fuck next to him.

"You're alright, kid," Rick murmured holding up his glass. "To us. Because God-God's a fuckin' joke." Nevaeh clinked her glass with his, and if she didn't know better she'd say the frowning man beside her was almost smiling.

;

Rick bought all her drinks, and they didn't talk much but the silence was comfortable. "W-wh-ugh-t do you d-do, Nevaeh?" He asked in between burps. She found his burping odd, but a little endearing.

"Corporate counsel," she muttered. "They pay me a shit ton of money to find loopholes so they make a fuck ton of money."

"So what's- what's th-thguh- difference. Difference between a shit ton and fuck ton," he sneered, sipping his umpteenth drink. She watched him tip the dark liquid back into his mouth, watched his Adam's apple bob as the liquor traveled down his esophagus, probably burning on the way down.

"Fuck if I know. I'll take the three-figure salary to outsmart government fucks," she shrugged, her eyes shifting to Rick.

"Fuck the government, fucking cocksuckers," he laughed, clasping his hand on Neveah's shoulder. "L-let's g-ugh-et outta here," he suggested, downing the last of his drink. Nevaeh's face flushed slightly. She didn't know what he meant by "get outta here," but she wasn't sure it'd end well for either of them. She liked Rick and they had commonalities that most people didn't. Not to mention she was attracted to him, despite the belching and slight drool that covered his lips as he pounded back drink after drink. A highly functioning alcoholic, indeed.

"Where we goin'?" She asked casually, standing from her stool. She swayed slightly, grasping Rick's shoulder. She was drunker than she thought.

"I dunno. Somewhere not here. I get bored easily but I'm not bored with you yet. C-C'mon." Rick began trudging out of the bar, Neveah close behind.

;

They didn't get far before Nevaeh suggested. "Follow me," turning down a side street. Rick followed beside her, his hand resting on the small of her back. Nevaeh's skin was on fire beneath Rick's slender fingers. He took in her petite frame striding beside him. She was dressed in a black pencil skirt, powder blue blouse, and Louboutin stilettos, probably coming to the bar straight from her office. The skirt hugged her ass and rode up just enough to expose her slender thighs, and her blouse buttoned just low enough that Rick could see her breasts bouncing with each step she took down the sidewalk.

"W-wugh-where we goin' baby?" Rick asked, his hand curling around her hip to slow down their pace. "You-you trying to run a marathon?"

Nevaeh laughed, and she sounded like an angel. "My office. We can hang out there if you want. I dunno, maybe go on a little trip," she giggled, wiggling her eyebrows. Just as the words left her mouth the two came to a halt outside a ten-story building with shiny granite facing and large glass doors. "Here it is."

"Shit yeah let's go," Rick mused, pushing Nevaeh through the doors.

The elevator ride to the seventh floor was quiet, the air thick and hot as Rick's hand ghosted Nevaeh's back, just by her ass. She curled into him a little closer, mostly because she was afraid she'd topple over. She felt burning deep in her stomach and she was getting unreasonably wet just standing next to Rick.

She let out a grunt once they finally reached the office door.

"Fuck my keys are in my car," she muttered. She tapped her fingers against Rick's hand on her waist before jumping to the handle of the door. She pulled a bobby pin from her hair and shoved it in the keyhole.

"Really? N-nevae-ugh. Fucking picking the lock on your own office door? Is this a fuckin' j-joke?" Rick chastised her. "D-Do you even know h-how to pick a lock?" As he finished the question she swung the door open.

"Fuck off Rick. Did you want to trip or not?" She smirked, beckoning him with the curl of her index finger. He slammed the door behind them, watching Nevaeh sit on the edge of her desk and open the top righthand drawer. She balanced two tabs on her index finger. "C'mere, baby," she crooned, glancing over her shoulder where he stood before her desk. Rick sat beside her on the large mahogany desk, propping his feet up on her leather chair. "Open up," she cooed, gazing up at Rick. "This is about to get really fuckin' weird," she laughed, placing the tab on his tongue. He watched as she placed the second tab on her own tongue, looking up to him.

Rick's vision was tunneled, focusing on Nevaeh's lips, colors filtering in an out of his vision. He shook his head, already feeling the effects of the acid. He pulled out his flask to take a swig. "Here," she interrupted him, pulling a bottle of brandy from the left side of her desk. She was now in the leather chair, Rick's feet resting in her lap. When did she get there? Not important, he decided, taking the brandy from her small hand.

Nevaeh smiled up at Rick, watching his Adam's apple bob up and down again as he swallowed the alcohol. She rummaged around in her desk again, pulling out a bag of coke. "Here's something fun," she perked up.

"What the fuck is this? A corporate office or a dru-drughhh house," Rick burped. The furniture was starting to swirl and Nevaeh stands.

"What else should I do with my expendable income? Live alone, have everything I could want."

"I have something better." Rick slipped off the desk to stand beside her. Except the desk wasn't a desk anymore, it was an animal with a face but it wasn't not moving and there were trees in her office and Nevaeh's hand was running along Rick's back but it feels like razors and somehow still makes Rick's cock twitch. He blinked his eyes for a minute, rubbed them, and looked down at her.

"What's the matter grandpa? Can't keep up?" She laughed, but Rick doesn't smile. He threw a bag of hot pink crystals onto the desk.

"Kalaxian crystals, sweetie. You can't keep up with these. High is intense, but the feeling's s-short lived." He opened the bag and began chopping the crystals with the credit card Nevaeh had been holding. He spun around again, gripping her jaw in his hand. Navaeh's eyes grew wide. Rick's voice was low and gravelly as he spoke. "And that's Daddy to you."

;

They were sitting on the floor, backs against the large glass windows overlooking the city. The pair were beginning to come down from their highs, Rick was still drinking brandy. "What if I told you I was the smartest person in the mult-mult-multiverse?" He stuttered, looking out the window. He's traveled thousands of realities and universes, but never has he felt so small looking down at all these city lights.

"S'cuse me?" Nevaeh asked. turning to face him. "I'm a lawyer, not a mad scientist," she winked.

"First of all, all lawyers are fuckin' c-c-croo-guh-s," he hiccuped. "What if I told you there are mult-multiple universes with thousands of al-guh-ternate realities." Rick's eyes darted around the room, his elbows resting on his knees with his fingers pressed together forming a steeple. "And I can travel these different universes and realities and there's thousands of me's too." He looked to Nevaeh's face, searching for a reaction. He didn't see one. Her eyes were glossed over as she stared back at him and he started thinking about her mouth around him again.

"Go on."

"I'm the sm-smartest man on earth, sweetie. I can travel universes, I'm the smartest man in the galaxy. This is the closest to G-God you're ever gonna get, baby." He smirked, cupping Nevaeh's face in his hand. He studied her face, her eyes fluttered closed. He was coming down from his high but still energized with something different. He rubbed his calloused thumb against Nevaeh's plump bottom lip, smearing her lipstick slightly. She hums out in response, leaning into him. Her eyes snapped open, staring straight into his core.

"Like I said, Daddy. God's a fuckin' joke."