Chapter 1 :
He wonders in retrospect, when it was that he had truly lost the game?
Was it from the first moment he had laid eyes on the Lion of Akielos; trapped and almost broken in front of him? Tied to the last remnant of his dignity, yet so full of pride?
He closes his eyes for a moment and wonders what servants around him make of him standing here, in the golden cage where he once held a golden lion, and had thought he had tamed that magnificent creature for good.
The stiff and golden stamped scroll in his hand slips a bit from his silky grip and it takes all of his endurance and control to not crush it in his palm and destroy it irrevocably. For it is a tangible reminder of what his reticence, pride and impulsiveness has cost him.
A Royal wedding announcement from Akielos.
King Damianos is to take Rhona of Ios as his bride at the start of the inevitable summer.
'How appropriate!' the thought is bitter like a potent poison in his mind.
A moment of cheer and absolute joy for whole of Akielos, when its king and his greatest adviser and general Nikandros join their families and become brothers-in-law.
Rhona of Ios, Nikandros' sister. He remembers her some from the succession feast. Dark hair, brilliant forest green eyes and an inherent grace that even he had taken notice of. Her smile for Damen had been so familiar and so joyful and Damen in return had been bashful and joyous in return, there had been more on his face for her than for any other ladies that had come to present themselves to the new king of Akielos. It had taken a pinch out of him for a moment, there was history there and a sincere friendship too.
If he thought about it practically, pragmatically, it was more than an ideal match.
But Damen had ripped him open without his knowledge and taken out his practicality and pragmatism and stomped on it with both his feet before replacing both of his most prized qualities with possessiveness and obsession.
He remembers the pain and hurt in those dark eyes, eyes of a king a moment ago, and then of a man who had lost everything. He remembered his words that had caused that pain. He remembers the coldness in his heart once the illusion came to an end.
"I needed a victory at Charcy. You provided it. It was worth enduring your fumbling attentions for that."
In the aftermath and all that had happened at the trial and the Akielon court, he might have foolishly thought that all was forgiven and forgotten.
But Damen had done something that to Laurent, was uncharacteristic.
He had remembered that conversation. He had remembered it and then taken it for what it was.
Damen had surrendered to his scheme and his demands. As a king Damen had given in. But not as a lover.
Days following that conversation, Damen had processed it. Had tried to beat the hurt out of his heart, that Laurent had so mercilessly wounded.
And Laurent had seen all of it at a distance. Watched carefully as a brave Lion licked at his wounds.
And Laurent had played another more elaborate game.
And Laurent had apparently won that game as well.
And Laurent had also realized how much he genuinely loved Damianos.
How much he desired Damen.
How enslaved and tangled he was.
That was mistake that he cannot bring himself to call one.
What Laurent had not seen, what outcome Laurent had not worked out was
That Damen had conquered the hurt Laurent had inflicted.
That where Laurent took heart and warmth from Damen, learnt to embrace the spirit of sacrifice.
Damen had taken pragmatism and an un-erring memory from Laurent.
He had hoped in his secret heart that following the trial and their successions, Damen would declare his love for Laurent again and this time, Laurent would embrace it. Laurent would declare back. He had hoped for it, expected it, was sure of it…
But it never came. As Laurent tended to his new kingdom and assisted Damen in tending to his own during his recuperation, he started to come across a strange fortification around Damen's heart that was flexible but impregnable for Laurent.
Damen had fought for Laurent, was ready to lay his life for Laurent. Would take an arrow, sword, dagger to the heart for Laurent, without a second thought.
But 'Damianos' would not let Laurent hold that heart any longer.
And Laurent's pride was always his downfall.
Laurent had forgotten, Laurent had hoped, but Damianos had not forgotten. Damianos no longer held any hope for him.
And Laurent's pride was stiff enough to not beg, grovel or even express his true heart to Damianos.
His heart aches enough now to feel as if it would kill him.
Damen. His Damen in hands of someone else.
In bed of someone else.
If only he had given just a little bit.
It did not have to be in front of anyone. None of their confessions ever were, which was why he thought he had estimated Damen so accurately.
He had taken and taken and given only a little bit back, and that too he had soiled in the worst possible way. He had infected Damianos with the worst of him. And now he suffers for it with every passing moment and every breath inhaled.
Everything in the room has remained as it was when Damen occupied it.
And how beautifully Damen had trapped Laurent.
With a single move against hundreds of Laurent's, Damen had won this game.
Laurent would go see Damianos of Akielos pledging himself and his heart to someone else even if it killed him.
He touches the golden brace on his wrist reverently.
He has lost this game. He deserves the loser's shame.
He will make it through this. He is defeated, not dead.
Wasn't that what Auguste always said?
"Defeat is never worse than death. Arrogant people will tell you otherwise. But defeat is just a chance to gather your wits and try again. Defeat is never the end if you come out of it alive. It gives you a chance to improve yourself. It strengthens you and shows you your own flaws. When you get back from a defeat, you only become stronger."
He will correct his mistakes and get back up again. Even if he never succeeds
