Author's Note: This is my first true fanfiction, and my first time trying to capture the Crawley family and the period of the time. I'm new to the Downton Abbey group, so hello. Thanks to my friends: Victoria for checking on my grammar and Granthamfan for encouraging me to write this story and making sure I stay period for my first period piece. Will be trying to update weekly. So I hope you enjoy!


September 1892

Cora looked her newborn baby full of longing and desire as the child held on to her pinky finger. Edith Alice Crawley, who was less than a week old, was an image of her father with her blonde tuffs of hair, a clear sign of the Crawley gene. Even Violet had commented when she saw the baby that she was reminded of a young Robert. Robert who, as a young child, had blonde hair that had darkened with age. Her thoughts were suddenly interrupted as rough tug on her dress was created by a small fist.

"Mama," The toddler's toothy grin appeared as she babbled.

"Hello my darling girl, would you like to see your baby sister." As she reached for the waist of her eldest child, Mary gurgled in agreeance.

Although, Mary was only 18 months old, the little one had the world at her fingers. Cora and Robert had both noted during their short visits with Mary during tea time that her personality was a little eccentric and different.

Cora had snuck herself into the nursery just before dinner to check on her wee ones. The nanny allowed this short visit due to needing to step out for a short moment.

Tonight, Patrick and Violet were wanting to host a party to celebrate the newest Crawley. Of course, Violet was dismayed that it was another daughter. Cora was dressed in her very best for many of the other aristocratic guests.

There was a gentle knock on the door that followed with a gentle voice.

"Cora?" Robert smiled as he saw the sight before him. "I knew I would find you here." He said as he entered, giving his wife and girls a gentle peck on their foreheads.

"Is it time to head down?" Cora questioned with sorrow not wanting to leave her girls.

"I'm afraid so. You know Mama would be cross if we are not down in the drawing room greeting guests." Robert placed his hand on the small of Cora's back.

Cora settled Mary into her cot who protested at this change. She gave goodnight kiss to her youngest who had fallen asleep since Cora's arrival to the nursery. Satisfied with their goodbyes, Cora and Robert slipped their hands together as they exited the nursery.

The couple glided with ease down the staircase that they had taken numerous times

"There you are." Violet Crawley piped up. "The first guests have arrived and you two were nowhere to be seen."

"Mother, it's only the first guests." Robert sighed at his mother. "Both of us were ready by the time the dressing gong rang."

Cora had left her husband's side to wander the drawing room as she listened to the guests around her without taking in a word. Many of the guests were asking about the girls and asking about when she would provide an heir to the Grantham estate. So much attention was on her for giving her husband only daughters. Did her husband mind about having girls? No. He was thrilled to have Mary and Edith. He spoiled Mary rotten when they spent time together. The pressure of the other aristocratic families stressed her. She wanted to give Robert a son, a boy, to carry on the Grantham estate.

"Cora?" Violet looked at her sternly. "The Viscount of Willendorf asked you a question were you paying attention?"

"I'm sorry Lord Willendorf." Cora apologized. "It seems I feel a little out of it." Cora looked down in shame.

"Are you fine, my love?" Robert quickly came from the other side of the room.

"I'm fine, just unusually tired." Cora rested her hand on his. "I might cut this evening short after dinner." The rest of the night ran smoothly besides her little hiccup with the Lord.

Cora and her lady's maid, Stanton prepared her for the night in her dressing gown and robe. She had just settled into her bed as she heard a soft knock on the door. Robert appeared on the other side of the door in his nice dinner tailcoat.

"I just wanted to make you were settled for the night?" Robert sat on his side of the bed as he kissed her palm of her hand.

"I'm fine just tired." Cora sighed. "I bet when you come back I'll be asleep." She smiled weakly.

"Of course, love, just rest." Robert kissed her palm once more before heading back to the party that was below. "Would you like me to sleep in my dressing room?" Robert questioned as he peaked his head around the door.

"I would prefer if you to stay here tonight." Cora responded. "If that's alright with you, Robert?" Robert smiled and headed back down.


Robert sat discussing the recent fall of the latest estate in a neighboring territory with many other Dukes and Earls. There had only been a few guests left as the party began to die down an hour ago. He excused himself from the conversation to join his mother and father who were talking with the Duke. "I'm going to retire myself for the night." Robert announced to his parents.

"I hope Cora will feel better tomorrow. Send her my thoughts." Patrick told his son.

"I will Papa." Robert agreed.

"Goodnight Robert." Violet and Robert kissed each other's cheeks.

Robert climbed the staircase to turn towards his wife and his bedroom. "Cora?" He questioned. "Are you awake?" He got no response, so he headed towards his dressing room where his valet, Samuel Maxwell, had been waiting.


Little did Robert know that Cora had faked her sleep as he entered. As she heard his dressing room door close. Her eyes fluttered open as she gripped tightly on the mattress of her bed. Her tummy was doing flips. She felt clammy. Cora couldn't sleep no matter how tired she was. The past few nights she had faked her sleep around Robert. She was only able to catch one or two hours of sleep a night. There had been a change to her personality and actions, but it was so little that it went unnoticed to Robert's knowledge. But she noted she was more tense and anxious around people whom she talked with.

She closed her eyes shut as she heard the dressing room door open once again and felt the pressure of Robert getting into bed with her. He gave her the softest of kisses. First on the palm of her hand and then on the forehead. She tried to remain still, so she pretended to shift in her sleep. Cora heard her husband's breath become shallow as sleep got to him.

Her eyes opened once again as she stared at the canopy of her bed. She looked at Robert then back at the canopy. What was wrong with her? Something had to be wrong with her? Why was she feeling this guilt and worthless.


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