So apparently when I uploaded this it was just a string of letters and numbers, so hopefully this is fixed now :)
To start off my "fluff" stories, I'm doing an angsty songfic. Yay
TRIGGER WARNINGS: Attempted suicide, self-harm, main character death, mentions of mental illnesses such as depression and anxiety
I would suggest listening to this song first so you know what I'm basing this fic off of: watch?v=8ofCZObsnOo
Loving and fighting
Accusing, denying
Peter and Tony fight once again about the topic of the cuts on his arms, Peter insisting they are from patrol, Tony accusing him of lying.
I can't imagine a world with you gone
Tony had already lost Peter once to Thanos, and the months without him had been living hell. Tony can't bear to think about what he would do if Peter died again.
The joy and the chaos, the Demons we're made of
Peter suffered from anxiety and depression. He found the cutting as an output, a way to cope without bothering Tony.
I'd be so lost if you left me alone
Peter had already gone through the pain of Tony leaving him by himself. He wouldn't, couldn't go through that again. He knew that if he were dead he wouldn't feel any of it, the sadness, the loneliness, the constant pain that would never leave.
You locked yourself in the bathroom
Peter was done. He and Tony had fought and Tony looked so annoyed, so enraged with Peter it was obvious what he was trying to convey. "Go and die. Me and everyone else would be better off without you."
He wrote a short note on the kitchen table. "Tony. If you find this note, don't feel bad about this. I'm happier this way. You're happier this way. The world is better off without me.
I love you, from Peter."
He stumbled to the bathroom, tears streaming down his face. He opened the cupboard underneath the sink and gripped the small knife. He always kept it there. It was always at easy access.
Peter stepped into the bathtub, to make it easier for Tony to clean his blood. He took one last deep breath and started pushing the knife through the skin of his wrist.
Peter felt the deep ache as his artery was slit open. His head started pounding, his heart beating faster, his body's instinct of survival desperately trying to keep him alive.
Peter took the stained knife out of his open wrist and inserted the blade into his other hand.
His vision was going blurry, he was getting dizzy. Peter let a small smile creep onto his sheet white face.
His hearing was going, but he could faintly hear a bang on the door and Tony yelling, "PETER!"
Just as the door crashed open and Tony sprinted in, looking terrified, Peter whispered one final line.
"I'm sorry." And with that, Peter felt himself slip away, his pain, his worries, his depression and his anxiety dissipating forever.
Lying on the floor when I break through
"I'm sorry."
"Oh my god, kid!" Tony screamed. No, no, this could not be happening! Sweet innocent Peter, reduced to this... why hadn't he seen the signs?
I pull you in to feel your heartbeat
Tony pulls in the- no, his kid and checked his pulse.
Tony let out a strangled sob.
"Tony?" Bruce called. He ran in. "Tony, wha- oh my God."
Bruce gently took Peter's limp body from Tony, who was still screaming and sobbing, and rushed him down to the med bay.
Can you hear me screaming "please don't leave me"
Tony sat in the waiting room of the med bay, tears still streaming from his eyes.
"Kid, please. Please don't leave me."
Hold on, I still want you
Tony's mind rushed back to when he first met Peter, the bubbly excitement and adorable innocence immediately settling into Tony's heart.
Come back, I still need you
When Peter had settled Tony down from an anxiety attack, and patiently helped him get back on his feet.
Let me take your hand, I'll make it right
The nurses let Tony see the body. Peter's face, cold pale, and devoid of the life he was always so filled with.
Tony took his hand, thinking if he squeezed hard enough he would send warmth back into Peter, his smile littering his face once again as he said "Mr Stark?"
But the boy lay still, eyes open without seeing.
I swear to love you all my life
Tony wept noiselessly. "Kid, come back, please. I- I need you. I can't live without you. Please, I'll love you for the rest of my life, just come back to me!" Tony was yelling now.
Bruce had to drag him out of the room, tears streaming down his face as he saw his science partner so distressed.
Hold on, I still need you
"Hi, kid. I just wanted to tell you, I- Pepper had the baby. A beautiful girl named Morgan. I'll never forget you, but the way to honour your memory isn't to sit grieving for the rest of our lives in despair. I- I- I'll always love you."
Tony lay the bouquet of flowers on Peter's grave. He stood silently, a tearful smile on his face.
WHOOF OH MY GOODNESS
That was really angsty, holy schnitzel.
Thanks for reading, I guess.
