DISCLAIMER: I do not own Pokemon and make no monehz from these writings.
The darkness of sleep was comforting, but still it reminded her of the fact she was alone. Nothing but the shadows and the fractured glow of a streetlamp through her window to keep her company.
A part of her regretted letting Azurill sleep downstairs tonight, a part of her just wanted to wallow in her sorrows alone. At least when she cried, the sleepy sensation after helped her get through the night.
If her past self looked at her now she'd be ashamed of what she'd become. She used to be so strong, but she had let herself be consumed by loneliness. She drifted through the days like a ghost. Hardly anybody challenged the gym anymore, her sisters had stopped visiting. Often, she'd sit on the diving board and muse on her past. She missed travelling, she missed the old days, but most of all, she missed him. She'd seen him a few times in the months after they parted ways, but years had passed, and never had he picked up a videophone, or dropped by. He wasn't heartless, just…oblivious.
Throwing off the covers, she drifted downstairs into the gym, the waters dark and shadowy. She began to climb the highest diving board, pencil and small diary in her hand. Illuminated by faint streetlights, she scrawled incoherently into the pages
She longed to hear his voice. To look into his hazel eyes again. Damn her sisters. Damn their round-the-world cruise! Maybe she'd still be out there now if she didn't have to come back to this blasted place. Bitterly, she threw one of the Cascade Badges in her pocket off the diving board, a fresh wave of tears hitting as the splash sounded from far below.
What had she become? What had happened to the fiery red-head she once used to be?
Damn him. Why did he have to affect her like he did? He was like a fever, her consumed her every waking moment and every second of her dreams.
She was obsessed with him. Lets face it, she told herself, that was the truth.
Her vision grew hazy as did her thoughts. Holding her head as migraine struck, she swore quietly. She was going crazy. This wasn't how she used to be.
Damn him!
She clutched the pencil in her hand harder, the nib crushing. She swore loudly, and dug about in her pocket. Bringing out small pencil, quite sharp, she turned back to her diary.
It just…all became clear. The haze drifted from her mind. She stabbed her arm mindlessly with the pencil, dark graphite dots all over her skin. Damn him…damn him...damn love…damn y…
A splash sounded faraway below, the only things on the diving board a pencil and a open diary.
There was one, last entry.
"What's the use of crying?
It won't bring Ash back…"
Authors Notes/Afterthoughts
Written as a entry to a competiton, the original, which I no longer have a copy of, was far, far darker, with a eventual suicide. The competiton felt it was too out of character for Misty, so I had to make it tamer. Just a random, angst filled drabble of Misty's life without Ash.
Enjoy,
From Beyond The Stars
