I Turn To You
(songfic)
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by ~queen of hearts~
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disclaimer:
the man in flannel owns everything. i just have fun. "I Turn To You" is by Christina Aguilera.~*~
notes:
yes, it's another songfic. *laughs* sorry, i can't help it. i hear so many songs that go well with SW. i hope this will be worth a read.~*~
I Turn To You
by ~queen of hearts~
~*~
Amidala felt like crying. She felt like screaming. But everything inside just felt numb. As she sat in her pitch black bedroom, Amidala was curled up in one corner of the room, sitting silently. The sobs has long since subdued, and there were no more tears left. Amidala wanted to just throw the blankets on her bed across the room, smash everything fragile that she owned, and scream until she died. But instead, she felt empty. Nothingness.
After an hour of sitting in silence, letting the darkness wrap around her, a stream of light fell into the room as someone entered. When the room enclosed in darkness again, Amidala tensed. Who was in the room with her now?
The mysterious visitor seemed to know right where Amidala was, even in the pitch black. He grabbed her hands and pulled her to her feet. Amidala fell against him. As she did, she put her hands on the sides of his face. Not being able to see her own hands, Amidala was all alone trying to figure out who this person standing before her was.
Her fingers came down, running slowly over his face. A realization hit her.
"Obi-Wan?"
When I'm lost in the rain
In your eyes I know
I'll find the light to light my way
When I'm scared
Losing ground
When my world is going crazy
You can turn it all around
And when I'm down you're there
Pushing me to the top
You're always there giving me all you've got
"Uh hu," he replied, wrapping his arms around her, giving her an impulsive hug.
Obi-Wan knew she was hurting. He was, too. Since Anakin has turned and left them, nothing seemed right. In fact, everything was just screwed up. Amidala's cheerful, happy mood had suddenly changed. She became sad, lost, and lonely. Obi-Wan had changed as well. Feeling guilty about Anakin's turning, he didn't feel like anything was worth it anymore. But he knew that two hearts in pain were in need of one another.
For a shield
From the storm
For a friend
For a love to keep me safe and warm
I turn to you
"Oh, Obi-Wan," Amidala sighed, relieved that she wasn't suffering alone anymore. "How did you know I was here?"
"Where else would you be," Obi-Wan said, "besides sitting in your room alone torturing yourself about Anakin's turning?"
"I don't know," Amidala's voice was clogged with tears. "Where?"
"Nowhere," came the reply from Obi-Wan. "Except now you're not alone."
For the strength
To be strong
For the will to carry on
For everything you do
For everything that's true
I turn to you
"Why did he have to turn?" Amidala whispered, leaning hard against Obi-Wan. "Why?"
"I don't know," Obi-Wan replied, not knowing what else to say.
Amidala slipped out of Obi-Wan grasp and drew the curtains. Brushing the windows open, a stream of light spilled into the room, bathing the window seat in pale light. Amidala sat down and let a warm breeze wrap around her as she watched the chiffon curtains flutter in the wind.
Obi-Wan stood in the same spot for a moment and then moved over to the window and stared out. As moonlight fell across his face, Amidala saw the melancholy in his eyes. She stood and inched toward him. Obi-Wan turned to her, and they were both quiet for a moment. Then Obi-Wan grabbed her in a crushing embrace.
When I lose the will to win
I just reach for you
And I can reach the sky again
I can do anything
'Cause your love is so amazing
'Cause your love inspires me
All these days Obi-Wan had fought back the tears. Now they threatened to overflow. But he mustn't lose his composure. I can't break down.
Amidala returned his hug and looked into his eyes. "It is okay to be sad," she consoled.
"But -"
"But nothing," Amidala said. "Anakin was your padawan. You believed in him. You were his teacher. He betrayed your trust -"
"Amidala," Obi-Wan's voice was breaking. "Please. . ."
"Just listen to me Obi-Wan. He betrayed your trust. You believed in him, but in the end, it wasn't enough. He had to believe in himself."
Obi-Wan's gaze met hers. Trust was in her eyes. Faith was there, too. As her brown orbs stared into his sea green ones, Obi-Wan felt something inside of him change. The tension was starting to melt. Realizations came to him.
And when I need a friend
You're always on my side
Giving me faith
Taking me through the night
For a shield
From the storm
For a friend
For a love to keep me safe and warm
I turn to you
"I -I may have lost Anakin," Obi-Wan said slowly, struggling to say the painful words, "but I still have you."
"And I have you, too," Amidala smiled softly.
For the strength to be strong
For the will to carry on
For everything you do
For everything that's true
I turn to you
As another breeze swept into the room, Amidala dropped down on the window seat again, staring out upon the city.
"Thank you. . .for, for being here for me," she said softly to Obi-Wan.
"It's me who should be thanking you," he replied, sitting down across from her.
"Me?"
Obi-Wan reached across and gave her hand a squeeze. "You."
For the arms to be my shelter through all the rain
For truth that will never change
For someone to lean on
For a heart I can rely on through anything
For the one who I can run to
As Obi-Wan sat, continuing to stare upon the scenery, one of the chiffon curtains brushed up against his arm. Funny such a little thing would give me comfort, he thought, finally letting his tensions slip away, even if only for a few minutes. He had Amidala to comfort him when he was feeling down, and she had him. Two hearts in pain had each other. They each had the other to turn to.
For a shield
From the storm
For a friend
For a love to keep me safe and warm
I turn to you
For the strength to be strong
For the will to carry on
For everything you do
For everything that's true
I turn to you
~*~*~*~*~*~
el fin
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