Note that this doesn't mean that Endgame exists for me. I just needed to fix it, for my poor, broken heart. In everything I write from now on, Endgame has never happened, Tony and Nat are alive and will be until they die of old age, like it should be. LIKE THE DESERVE! YA HEAR ME, RUSSOS?! THEY DESERVED TO LIVE AND GROW OLD WITH THEIR LOVED ONES!


He still can't believe it. It just can't be true. She can't be gone. She can't. She promised him he'd never be alone, that she'd always be by his side. For better and for worse, for richer and for poorer. She'd promised. Now he stares at the last ripples in the water as the wreath containing the proof that Tony had a heart drifts away, the small hand of his six-year-old son clutched in his. James has already asked for his mother a total of thirty six times in the last four days and all thirty six Steve had broken down at the so similar inquisitive gaze and nose. And lips and hair and smile.

Gods, he looks so much like her.

They won't be able to hold a proper funeral for her, her body lost somewhere in the galaxy. He resents Pepper for being able to bury her husband. He resents Clint for being alive. He resents the fucking stone encased in glass that rests dormant in the Facility's lab for taking her away from them.

"Daddy," he looks down at James, his big blue eyes blinking up at him with pure innocence. "Can we go get Mommy, now?" Thirty seven. His eyes water over and he can hear a sob form behind him. Clint or Laura, he doesn't know. He doesn't really care.

Pepper turns to him, eyes glassy as well. She's had to hear the same question from her daughter, just like him. Over and over and over again. His resentment towards her dwindles and an immense guilt takes its place. He has no right to resent her, just like he has no right to resent Clint. It makes him feel even worse than before.

Instead of answering, he grabs James and settles him against his hip, hugging him tightly against his chest. He buries his nose in his hair and breathes in deep, dying and reviving at the same time when he catches a whiff of Natasha. James' been sleeping with him in their –now his– bed. God, it hurts so much.

Once the wreath is out of sight, everyone starts retreating back to the house. He waits there until it's just him and Pepper, James now half dozing on his shoulder and Morgan off with Happy.

"I'm leaving," he tells her, voice a harsh whisper. "I have some arrangements to finish." It's total bullshit, he still hasn't even started and doesn't plant to. Clint and Laura are taking care of everything and Pepper knows that. She nods either way and hugs him.

"Don't be a stranger, ok?" Don't disappear. Don't drop out of the face of the Earth. Don't let it destroy you, you still have a child that need's you.

"I won't." I'll try.


It takes Bruce two weeks to fix the machine and Pym another five days to finish the first batch of Pym Particles. He doesn't know why it takes so long, but he doesn't really care. He doesn't care about much anymore. He keeps the façade around James, but the second he's out of sight Steve disappears and what remains in his place is a mere shell of what once was. Bucky and Sam have united to try and bring him back, but to no avail. It seems to be drawing the two close and even in his seemingly perpetuate state of shock, he can see the way they look at each other when the other's not looking. In other circumstances, he would find it hilarious. Now he thinks it's as interesting as the weather forecast.

"Ok, Cap, remember: you have to return the stones right after they were taken." Bruce's voice breaks through his haze. He blinks back to reality and finds himself in the park with Banner, Sam and Bucky, a small version of the machine beneath his feet. He nods in acknowledgement and activates the suit, the helmet coming up around his head. "Ready? Five, four, three, two… one!"


His first stop is a rock chamber, a pedestal in the middle. He can hear someone singing off-key outside, so he takes the stone, already in it's intricate metal prison and sets it on the pedestal. Lasers appear around it and it starts floating.

He pushes the button just as a red figure appears through the doorway.


He's in Asgard, Dr. Jane Foster is pacing around the room, one hand covering her right hip. Silent as a cat, he maneuvers around the bed and dresser, sneaking behind her like a predator to it's pray. He freezes for a millisecond, remembering the day Natasha had taught him how to move like a spy.

He jabs the injector into her back so fast it doesn't even hurt it and then he's gone before she can even turn around.


The sorcerer is waiting for him when he arrives. She smiles and nods as he hands over the stone, setting it inside the necklace with practiced movements.

He bows lightly and presses the button.


Next, New York. His old self's still groaning in the ground, gasping for air. Without a word or eye contact, he sets the stone on the floor next to him and disappears.


1970. the soldiers are looking for him still so he tries to be as inconspicuous as possible when he returns the Tesseract. A group sees him and starts pursuit but the second he rounds a corner and is out of eye sight from the soldiers, he's gone.

He doesn't even notice the woman off to the side, her eyes wide with shock before he presses the button.


Vormir. His last and most dreaded stop. He appears almost ten kilometers from a mountain with two peaks. His boots splash in the shallow water as he walks. With every step he takes, the pit in his stomach grows bigger, heavier. She'd died here, in this dark, barren planet. If her body's still here, he'll take it with him. She deserves a proper burial. James deserves to say goodbye to his mother properly. He needs to say goodbye to his wife properly.

The hike isn't much work, nothing compared with what he's already done. He clutches the stone in his hand and it pulses warmly. A soul for a soul, that's what Clint had told him. Did that mean that Natasha's soul was inside the stone? Was she inside, could she feel him? Was she scared?

When he reaches the top, his bones feel cold in a way they've never have. He knows cold, it's familiar in a way nothing else is, but this is different. He steps over the round slab of stone in the ground, looking around. What he'd fist thought were two peaks are actually pillars, cravings all over then in a language he can't understand.

"Steve Rogers, son of Sarah." He whips around and faces the dark form behind him. from the shadows, a familiar face appears. "It's been a long time, Captain."

"Red Skull…" something flickers inside him, the rage and hatred he once felt towards this person, but he doesn't acknowledge it. He doesn't even raise the hammer. "What are you doing here?"

"I am the guardian of the stone." He looks him over, appraising, before continuing. "No one has ever come to return the stone before, it always has to return on it's own. It appreciates your thoughtfulness." He floats forwards the edge and raises a hand towards it. "Drop it into the void, Captain."

Steve steps forward, taking the stone out of the glass. it pulses once again, as if it's actually thanking him for returning it where it belongs. For a second he hesitates, thinks about keeping it away from it's home, just like it's keeping Natasha away from hers. The glow dwindles slightly as he thinks but then he shakes his head. No, the stone is too powerful to have where it can't truly be protected.

"Where's Natasha's body?" he looks up at the Red Skull, eyes hard and demanding.

"Natasha Romanoff, daughter of Ivan." Steve doesn't react.

"I want it." He grips the stone in his hand and takes a step back from the edge. The dark form seems to tense. "She deserves a proper burial. I want to take her home, where she belongs."

The stone pulses and Red Skull nods. "She shall be returned to you once you return the stone. Drop it into the void."

He steps forward once more, eyes taking in the dark fog. He reaches his hand forward and lets the stone fall. The clouds swallow it. He turns to the guardian.

"Give me Natasha's body."

The Red Skull swipes his arm around and Steve falls to his knees, his vision going dark.

"A soul for a soul, Captain."

A soul for a soul.


He wakes up with a gasp, the feel of the cold water shocking him out of his induced sleep. He sits up, the water raining form his hair and into his suit, chilling his skin. He can feel every minute droplet course down his back. He turns, looks around. At first he doesn't see anything and dread fills him. But then, a dark spot in the shine of the water.

He runs, water splashing all around. He trips as he reaches her, his vision too blurry for him to see properly. He falls to his knees in front of her prostrated body, one cheek caressed by the water and her hands resting over her abdomen. Sobbing, he slides a hand around her shoulder and another beneath her knees, bringing her into his lap. He presses her against him, buries his face into her neck and simply lets himself cry for a moment, lets himself mourn and let it set that she's really gone.

But then, something flutters beneath his forehead and he pulls away. He stares at her for a few seconds, trying very hard not to hope but then he sees it, the rapid rise and fall in her neck and then she gasps, her body convulsing in his arms. He stays frozen, not believing his eyes as Natasha coughs and blinks her eyes open, her hands flying around until she clutches at his suit and brings her upper body up.

"Nat…?" his voice is barely above a whisper, hoping against all hope that this is real, that he's not dreaming.

She doesn't answer, she clings at him as she coughs and gasps, eyes wild and unfocused. He waits, his body moving on autopilot as he rearranges her to help her breathe better, his arms around her steadying her. Once she can finally breathe she brinks rapidly, as if she doesn't believe what she's seeing before her green eyes fall on his.

"Steve?"

"Nat… oh, God, Nat!" he's crying again. He can't seem to stop. He hugs her tightly, afraid of letting go for fear that she'll disappear, a mere projection of his desire to see her one last time. He can feel her breath hitch in her chest before she's hugging him too. He can feel her crying into his hair, feel her tears against his scalp.

"I hate you, you hear me? I hate you." She laughs brokenly, kissing him everywhere she can reach. He clutches her harder against his chest, breathing in her sent, so much stronger that it is in their –THEIR!– bed and on their son.

"I love you." She returns before she moves away just enough to press her lips to his. It's like being able to breathe again, like coming up for air after being weeks underwater. They kiss and bite and for the following ten minutes they don't move from their place, reveling in the knowledge that they're together.

"I love you…" Steve gasps between kisses. "So much, Nat." he kisses her cheeks, her nose, her eyes and her forehead before he returns to her lips. "God, I love you."


"Did we win?" her voice is soft, almost a whisper. He nods.

"We won, Nat. Everyone's back and safe." He pauses, unsure of telling her about Tony, but knows that she's going to find out eventually. "Tony… Tony used the stones to save us. He's dead." Natasha chokes on a sob, squeezing her eyes shut. "I'm passing down the shield." He adds, trying not to dwell on his friend's death for too long. He's had enough of that already. "I'll give it to Sam and we can move somewhere, away from the fight. Or we can stay, run ops form the ground. Whatever it is, I'm not going into field ever again. I can't do that to James, or to you."

She hums in agreement. "We can stay and train the others. That kid Tony brought is going to need a lot of help." She skims her fingers over the water that still surrounds them. "I'm stepping down too. I can't do this again, not to you and not to James." She pauses and looks up. "Is he ok?"

"I wasn't able to tell him. I didn't believe it myself, how was I going to convince him that Mommy was never coming back?" she tightens her arms around him, comforting him.

"I'm so sorry, Steve. I just… I couldn't let him jump." Her voice is tight, still coming to terms with the fact that she's alive.

"I know, that's why I can't be mad at you. I would've done the same thing if I'd been in your place." Steve kisses her brow and she kisses his cheek. They press their foreheads together and smile. "Let's go home."

Natasha hums, her smile broadening. "Let's go home."


Bruce, Sam and Bucky spend a total of seventy three seconds frozen in place at the sight of Natasha until she smirks at them and raises her arms. Sam practically flies to her and they twirl with his momentum. Sam cries and Natasha laughs between her tears. Then Bruce comes, stammering about not being possible and trying and whatever and she laughs again and hugs him tight. When Bucky steps forward, he smiles.

"I thought you were dead." she snorts, punches him and hugs him.

"I thought you were dead."

Clint and Laura curse at her when they sees her and the kids are inconsolable. Wanda cling to her like a monkey and Natasha presses a kiss to her forehead. Rhodey smiles and hugs her, not saying a single word. Thor laughs loudly, slurring something about knowing she'd be back all along. Okoye and Carol hug her too and then Fury's there and he's giving her the lecture of her life. She blinks up at him, snorts at his enraged face and hugs him.

"Mommy!" she gasps, wrenching herself away from Pepper and Happy. And there's her little boy, letting go of a teenager's hand and barreling towards her. She catches him and raises him over her head for a second before bringing him to her chest and drowning him in kisses.

When she looks up, she's overcome with all the joy she's feeling. She has her family back. And as Steve comes over and wraps his arms around both of them she realizes that this is it. She's home.

She's home.


And that's it. Romanogers will always find a way. I was going to add Elena and Yegor, but I kinda forgot about them, so I'm just gonna say that Elena went back to Russia and they're there right now. Nat and Steve will go see them in a couple of days.

Also, I wanted to show you guys something in case you still haven't seen it. It's a post in Tumblr, from marveliciouscp. I was drowning my sorrow in overly fluffy fiction of our favorite power couple and this brought me out of my pit, so here's hoping it helps you too.

Unfortunately, FF prevents me from putting URLs, so If you wanna see it go to the Ao3 version of this fic.