Come back to me Chapter one

Disclaimer: I do not own the show, I just wish that I did!

Dedicated: To all the Molly and CJ fans out there who are still suffering after the last series.

Huge thanks to Steph for supporting me and editing this chapter. Really could not have written this without her! Thanks also to Debbie for her help and advice regarding PTSD. I know nothing about PTSD or the army, so I apologise in advance for any errors.

This is the sequel to my first Our Girl story – "You were the last thing I saw." You will need to read this first as the story picks up straight after it finishes. Thank you to everyone who reviewed and followed that story.

This story is for fans of the original and best couple on the show – CJ and Molly. If you are fan of Georgie and CJ – then you have selected the wrong filter and I suggest you leave now. You will not like what is coming just as I did not like most of the last series…

Now the question is - can Molly ever forgive Charles for what he has done?

Germany

Walking out of his hospital room was one of the hardest things Molly had ever had to do. Turning her back on the man she loved was never something she thought she'd have to experience and walking away, despite what Charles had done, was one of the toughest decisions of her life. She wanted nothing more than to support him, and be there for him, but she couldn't. Not right now. She didn't have it in her. She needed some time and space. She didn't think it was possible to cry more than she had in the last few days. But here she was, in the hospital corridor, sobbing her heart out. She covered her mouth to muffle the sob that had escaped her lips, as she slunk down against the wall and sat on the floor with her head in her hands. How did it all go so wrong? She felt drained and weak, her mind and body in constant emotional turmoil. She was torn between her head and her heart. Part of her just wanted to walk back into the room and grab hold of his hand and tell him it that it would all be ok, and that she'd be there for him and that they'd get through this. But her head, well her head was more rational, probably for the first time in her life.

She was still struggling to understand how he could betray her like that, and with Georgie of all people. She hated him for sleeping with her friend and developing feelings for her. But, despite how much he had hurt her she still loved him, and she couldn't help but be scared for him and what lay ahead. Therapy, court martial and god only knows what else he might have done that she wasn't aware off, that might come back to bite him in the ass.

She had given him an ultimatum; their marriage was not over until he got help and then, and only then, would they both decide on the state of their marriage and if they had a future. What if he got help and was able to manage the PTSD, like she wanted, but then she found she couldn't ever forgive him for Georgie? The thought scared her. However, the more terrifying thought was what if he didn't get any help, what would she do then? She sat for a good few minutes contemplating these questions before wiping her eyes and nose and dusting herself down as she got up from her spot on the floor and walked towards the canteen.

As she approached the canteen she saw Beck waiting at one of the tables. He stood up as he saw her enter and pulled out a chair for her to sit on. "Can I get you anything, tea perhaps?"

"No thanks Sir," Molly muttered as she sat down

"We're off duty Molly, let's do away with the formalities," Roger said, as he sat back down, taking in the lost and desolate look on her face. "Dare I ask, how is he?"

"I honestly don't know," Molly sighed as she took a deep breath. "His head's all over the place, I don't think he's far off having a complete meltdown. He knows he's screwed up with me, and with the army but when I mentioned getting help…" She trailed off, not really sure what to say. Charles hadn't given her a definitive answer.

"And what about Lane? Was that just a nasty rumour?"

"All true," Molly grimaced.

"Molly I am so sorry," Beck replied, giving her hand a gentle squeeze. "I don't want to, but as his commanding officer I have to be seen to do something regarding his conduct. Especially, as concerns have already been raised over the past few months. Do you think he'll take the offer of the specialist help?" he queried.

"I don't know," Molly replied biting her lip. "I told him his options and he doesn't know if he can do therapy."

Beck looked down at the cup in his hands, as he chose his next words carefully. "I once thought the same thing too myself." He replied quietly.

"Sir?" Molly asked as a frown crossed her brow, not sure what her CO was about to say.

"Charles was only six months out of Sandhurst and it was his first tour of Afghan. We were on patrol and we lost a soldier to a suicide bomber. I had told that soldier to stand in that area and it still haunts me to this day. He was killed because I told him to stand in that position, completely unaware that a bomb was going to go off. The guilt haunted me, it nearly cost me my career and marriage. It was Charles who stepped in and told me that I needed help. That's how we became friends."

"I had no idea." She said solemnly.

"It's not easy to admit that you are wrong and have cocked up Molly, but I got help. I don't think my PTSD was as complex as what Charles has but talking, getting help made all the difference." Beck reached into his jacket pocket and lifted out a piece of paper and quickly jotted down a phone number and handed it to Molly. "My wife's phone number. If anyone can help you with how you're feeling she can. She is expecting your call." he said softly.

"Thanks," Molly said as she lifted the piece of paper and turned it over in her hands "But with all due respect Sir, did you sleep with one of her friends?"

"No."

"The PTSD I can accept and deal with. Hell, if it had been a random stranger I could probably accept it. But it was my friend someone else that I thought I could trust, that's what's hurting the most," Molly replied, choking back a sob as she stood up. "I'm really sorry but I need to head to the airport."

"What about the offer of some leave?" Beck asked.

"If that's okay I'd be really grateful. I just need a bit of space to get my head together?"

"Of course, take as long as you need."

"Thank you, Sir. I do have one other favour to ask if you don't mind?"

"Of course, anything?"

"Thanks, at the moment I'm still his next of kin," Molly said quietly "I was wondering if you could be the point of contact, if anything happens… just for a few weeks please. I…"

"I'll let you know what he decides as soon as I know. You need some time to yourself, I understand Molly and of course, whatever I can do to help. If he chooses the specialist therapy, as his commanding officer I will be kept up-to-date on his progress anyway."

"Thank you, Sir." she said gratefully. She stuck out her hand to shake his, but Beck pulled her into a hug.

"Take care of yourself Molly."

"I will do." she smiled, as she pulled away and turned and walked out of the hospital.

A few hours later Molly finally arrived outside the elegant Bath Terrace house, the main family home of the James' family for several generations. She and Charles had their own place a few miles away that they'd bought when they married. It needed a bit work doing to it, but it was going to be their family home until they moved in here.

She paid the taxi driver and walked up the path, stopping when she neared the door as she saw Charles' mother Maggie rushing out to greet her, embracing her in a warm hug as soon as she reached her. "How is he?" She asked tentatively, as she pulled out of the hug and held Molly at arm's length so she could study her, looking for any tell-tale sign of what was going on.

Molly couldn't fail to notice the worry and concern etched on her face. The years of stress and strain and waiting for the door to go, which evidently had happened far too many times for Mrs James, finally taking their toll on his mother. Her eyes were slightly sunken, red, from crying no doubt, with dark circles underneath, a clear sign of stress. She had a few more frown lines and grey hair round her temple. She looked older, more fragile somehow, bearing the scars of her sons exploits.

Molly sighed. "Well he's alive…look let's get inside and I'll tell you everything. I could do with a cuppa though first. It's been a long few days."

"Of course, dear. Come on, give me one of these bags" Molly smiled gratefully as she followed Maggie up the path.

"Is Sam still here?" she asked, her mood brightening at the thought of seeing her step son

"Yes," Maggie replied dryly, looking over her shoulder "and so is Rebecca."

"Wonderful," Molly muttered under her breath as they walked into the house. She wasn't sure she was in the mood to deal with Rebecca. Although over the years their relationship had thawed to the point of being civil. She barely had her coat off before Sam and Nathaniel – Charles' father, were hugging her so tightly that oxygen was becoming an issue. The beeping of her phone in her bag broke the embrace. "Sorry I need to get this."

Molly unlocked her phone and saw that the text was from Beck. She took a deep breath as she opened the message to read it.

'Charles has made his decision. He's going to rehab.'

Molly could feel the tears prickling at the back of her eyes as she quickly replied to the text, thanking Beck for letting her know. She closed her eyes tightly, in an effort to stop the tears from falling as she felt her shoulders shake slightly with relief.

"Molly is everything okay?" Maggie asked alarmed, as they walked into the lounge. She couldn't help but notice the change in her daughter-in-law's demeanour.

Molly nodded her hello to Rebecca as she sat down. "Yes, I'm fine. It's good news."

"Is dad okay?" Sam asked tentatively, as he sat beside her, looking up at her with his big brown eyes, that right now reminded her so much of Charles.

"Well...," Molly hesitated, wondering how she was going to explain everything to a twelve-year-old. "He had a bit of an accident when he was on tour. I'm not really sure of all the details," she replied, knowing that the inquisitive young boy would ask the specifics and she didn't really want to tell him the detail. He didn't need to know his father leapt off a cliff, not knowing the chances of survival, all because he couldn't read a map!

"He hurt his back," Molly continued. "There's a little bit of swelling, but he's not paralysed. He'll need a wheelchair or crutches for a while but with intensive physio he'll be able to walk as normal - and even play rugby with you again scamp" she finished, smiling at Sam, before pulling him into a hug. He didn't need to know the finer details of Charles' accident. All he needed to know was that he was going to be ok - well physically anyway, mentally - only time would tell.

"Thank goodness, I thought you were about to say he had broken that bloody leg again," Nathaniel said.

"No leg injuries this time," Molly smiled. "He, um… he also has a complex form of post-traumatic stress disorder."

"What's that?" Sam asked

There was silence in the room as everyone knew what it was but had no idea how to explain it to a child.

"It's an illness," Molly began as she took Sam's hand. "Sometimes, things happen, bad things when we least expect it. Like when uncle Elvis died. It affects us all in different ways."

"Dad has been sad and grumpy since Elvis died."

"Yeah, he has, but now he's getting the help that he needs."

"Sam," Rebecca said, noticing the difficulty Molly was having speaking, and trying to explain to her son why his father had pretty much abandoned him "why don't you go and get your bag, we need to leave soon."

"Okay," Sam sighed as he hugged Molly and left the room.

Once they heard him climb up the stairs Rebecca looked at Molly "How bad is it? Truthfully?"

"Honestly, I think he's about to have a breakdown," Molly replied, somehow holding back the tears. "Beck has got him into a specialist private rehabilitation centre somewhere in Suffolk, out in the countryside. He'll get round the clock therapy for his back and the PTSD."

"How long will it last?" Maggie asked, "That is, if he'll even go."

"Oh, he has to go, he's being flown home from Germany tomorrow and will spend a few days at the hospital in Birmingham before being moved there. Treatment will last for however long he needs. Six weeks, six months, a year, who knows. Personally, I can't see him being home for at least six months."

"I'm not sure I want Sam to see him like this," Rebecca stood as she prepared to leave.

"Oh, for goodness sake," Nathaniel shouted. "He's not going to hurt the boy."

"He hit you," Rebecca argued.

"He doesn't want to see anyone," Molly interjected, in an attempt to calm the situation "not for a while anyway."

"Good," Rebecca retorted.

"I know that things haven't been good between you and Charles for a while now, but can I, I mean can we still see Sam?" Molly asked. She loved her step son to bits and the thought of not seeing him was killing her inside.

"Off course, whether we like each other or not we are still family, Sam still needs you and his grandparents" Rebecca replied.

"I better go and check that Sam has packed everything, you know what he's like for leaving things." She said as she left the room. As much as her and Molly were civil to each other, she didn't want to spend too long in her company, and she knew the James' weren't overly friendly to her these days either.

Maggie waited until Rebecca had left the room before speaking, having quietly observed her daughter-in-law struggling to keep it together. "What are you not telling us Molly?" Maggie eventually asked.

Molly's shoulders slumped a little as she picked at an imaginary piece of fluff on her sleeve "God, where do I even begin. There's so much I need to tell you, but I don't want to get into it until Rebecca and Sam have gone," she said sadly.

Thirty minutes later as Nathaniel closed the front door, Maggie opened a bottle of wine and poured a large glass for Molly.

"You look like you need it," Maggie smiled as she handed her the glass.

"You'll both probably need something stronger," she murmured as she took a sip, enjoying the feeling of the cool wine sliding down her throat. Every part of her body ached with the emotion of the last few days finally taking over. She sunk down into the sofa, wishing that she could drink the whole bottle, curl up and fall asleep and wake up and realise this whole nightmare was a dream.

"How bad is it?" Nathaniel asked, getting straight to the point.

Molly started from the beginning, explaining exactly what had happened in Bangladesh and how he was lucky to be alive after a fall like that, well they all were. She described how Charles was when they rescued him from the riverbed, and his overall gaunt appearance in the hospital, although she left out the part about him almost taking his own life with the gun, that part wouldn't be helpful to anyone.

"I think when he went off that cliff he genuinely didn't care if he lived or died," Molly whispered as she saw his distraught parents grip each other's hand in support. Maggie reached her hand towards Molly and she gratefully took it. These two were more like parents to her than her own. She didn't even want to begin explaining this whole situation to Belinda and Dave.

"I've been told he has a really complex form of PTSD. I'm not sure I fully understand it myself but from what I can gather he's replaying everything that's ever gone wrong in his life in his head, especially Elvis's death. It's eating him up from the inside. The only good thing I can tell you is that he finally recognises that he needs help."

"And what about your marriage?" Maggie asked cautiously. Molly had told her about that phone call from Charles, where he said he wanted to end their marriage.

"I don't know," Molly sobbed. She couldn't hold the tears back any longer. Maggie was up on her feet and quickly embracing her in a hug.

"Oh love. It will all be ok. Shush. It's ok. Let it all out" she said soothingly, as Molly buried her head in her mother-in-law's arms as Maggie smoothed her hair.

"I'm not sure Maggie, he has feelings for someone else." She managed to croak out. Even saying the words out loud hurt.

"What?" Maggie asked incredulously

"I'm going to tell you stuff that I don't want you repeating to anyone, but I need to tell someone before I go completely mad. Promise me you won't tell a soul?" Molly implored.

Maggie and Nathaniel looked at each other, before nodding their heads in agreement.

"Of course, we won't"

"Charles has been struggling with PTSD since Elvis died," Molly began, "I did everything I could to support him, but he just kept pulling away and keeping me at arm's length. He completely shut himself down to me. Before he went to Belize I all but begged him to leave the army and get help but he refused. When he got injured he, supposedly," Molly explained "imagined I was there, but he told Georgie that he had feelings for her."

"Georgie as in Elvis' ex-fiancée?" Nathaniel frowned

"Yes, and one of my friends."

"Oh Molly," Maggie gasped, hugging her daughter-in-law harder.

"When he got home he admitted to me that he had feelings for her, and that he owed it to Elvis to protect her," Molly took another mouthful of wine before continuing. "I get it I do, PTSD can make you develop emotional attachments to people. It can make your brain believe things that aren't true. He promised me he would get help, and he did, he went to therapy. But as it turns out he went once, to a session that lasted fifteen minutes. He lied to me and to his CO."

"Did anything happen with Georgie?" Maggie asked

Molly swallowed down the lump that had formed in her throat. The thought of Charles, with her, made her nauseous. She nodded her head solemnly. "They were the talk of the barracks. Your son dumped me by phone one day and jumped into bed with her the next."

Molly gave them both a few minutes to absorb what she had just told them before she continued. Neither Maggie or Nathaniel said anything, they just sat in shock.

"If it had been a stranger, I could, maybe, with time forgive him, but her…"

"I could kill him," Nathaniel stated, clenching his fists, as the familiar red tinge stained his cheeks, a sure sign he was angry.

"In his head at the moment, I am perfect, too perfect for him, and leaving me is saving me, apparently" Molly tried to explain, whilst holding back more tears. "He is trying to save me from himself. I told him that I wasn't going to end our marriage though until he got help."

"I'm not sure I understand?" Maggie queried.

"He is not in the right frame of mind to make that type of decision," Nathaniel explained.

"Exactly," Molly smiled at her father-in-law "I told him to get help, and if he still wanted to end the marriage afterwards then so be it."

"Even after sleeping with…her" Maggie couldn't bear to say the girl's name.

"That's the thing, I don't know if I can forgive him," Molly replied. "He is going to be in rehab for a while and I've made a promise to myself to stay away. I need some time and space, to give me a chance to think, and see how things are afterwards."

"Wait until I see him," Maggie muttered.

"You can't say anything" Molly reiterated. "Besides he doesn't want to see anyone, not at the moment anyway, but, maybe that's a good thing. At least no-one can influence him this way."

"Maybe," Nathaniel sighed as he stood up. "Don't know about anyone else but I need a brandy."

Molly bit her lip "I just have one small favour to ask?" She said hesitantly, as she refused the brandy. "You know how you're always tellin' me about the villa in Lake Garda? Would it be okay if I go for a few weeks?"

"Molly you don't need to ask!" Maggie scolded." It's more than ok. It's just as much yours now as it is ours"

The kindness of the James' overwhelmed her. She couldn't believe she'd got so lucky with her parents-in-law.

"I just need some time away, by myself to recharge the batteries and think. Charles always promised to take me there and we never got round to it."

"He was thinking of going there on your honeymoon, but thought you would prefer Hawaii instead," Maggie smiled, remembering the days she spent with her son planning their honeymoon.

"I loved it," Molly grinned, as she remembered the glorious two weeks in paradise. "Feels like a million years ago now." She said sadly, as she was brought back down to earth with a bump, remembering the reality of the situation she now found herself in.

"Go and stay as long as you need," Maggie said, "The next few months are going to be tough, get some rest while you can because I honestly don't know how I'm ever going to forgive my son for what he's done to you."

…..OG….

A week later.

'So, this is home for the next few months', Charles thought as he took in his surroundings. It wasn't like the bedroom he shared with Molly, but it was definitely a step up from a tent and some of the other accommodation that the army had provided over the years.

At least he had a private bathroom. He could lock himself in there for a few days if he wanted too.

His back was sore, and he was waiting for the painkillers to kick in. Thankfully, most of the swelling had gone down and he no longer needed a wheelchair to get about. He grabbed the walking stick to use as a support and walked slowly to the small table and chair by the window. His bedroom overlooked the grand driveway and front entrance.

It looked to be a beautiful day outside, not that he paid much attention. He remained there for a few hours doing the exact same thing, looking out the window, when he saw her, walking in tears, outside the front door of the plush rehabilitation centre and into Beck's car. He wanted to bang on the window, scream and yell and shout at her, anything for her to look over and see him but he didn't. He was refusing visitors. He didn't want anyone to see the disaster he had become.

Molly had come on her way to the airport to leave him some belongings from home. She had wanted to come in and see him for a few moments, but he had said no. If he was going to do this, if he wanted to walk again and be normal again he had to do it himself, no outside distractions.

He watched her leave and when he opened the bag he saw a note from Molly explaining that she was going away for a couple of weeks and if he needed anything to contact his parents. For the first time in what felt like forever, he prayed that one day she'd come back to him. That was the thought that spurred him on during his physical therapy later that morning.

He found that his biggest challenge was meeting his therapist, Anna, who just wanted to talk. She insisted on telling him about herself. Not that he cared. He did his usual and said nothing. He wasn't even really listening to her. His head was playing images on a loop - Molly walking away from him in the hospital in Germany and then crying this morning. It had hurt him more than words could say and before he knew it he was crying in front of his therapist.

Once the tears had passed he started talking in a way that he never had. And never thought he would. He told her why he was here, what happened to Elvis, and how he'd pretty much fucked up every relationship in his life.

Anna just sat and listened.

Now, as he sat in his room, he looked at the information that Anna had given him on the different therapies available for PTSD, including support groups and medication they could prescribe for his depression.

'He wasn't depressed, he was an officer in the British Army!' the voice in his head raged. 'Think of Molly' thought the other voice. 'Where's Georgie, she needs me!' Said a third.

He wished they would all just shut up! He banged the side of his head, trying to make them go away. He wanted it all to stop. He just wanted to walk out of the place and make things better and get back to when he was happy.

Anna had asked him a question at the end of the session that he was currently contemplating. He'd told Anna about his wife and Georgie, and how he loved them both. She'd made a good point. He promised Elvis to look after Georgie, and she had saved his life in Belize, so he had to protect her. But Molly had done the same too in Afghan. They had both saved his life. They both had brown hair. Did he love Georgie, or did he just develop feelings because she reminded him of Molly?

Anna had asked him to think of a time when he was truly happy.

They had only just came back from honeymoon and they had Sam for the weekend. They had the whole weekend planned to perfection until they heard the weather forecast. The first named storm of the season was due to hit so they went to the cinema in the afternoon, grabbed pizza on the way home, and had just settled on the sofa when the power went off. Sam was scared off the wind and clung to Molly most of the evening as they played board games by candelight. The power was still off when they were going to bed and the two adults had a sleepless night as Sam slept like a baby throughout the storm, proceeding to kick them both in the legs during the night. Molly never complained the entire time, as they both stroked Sam's hair and whispered hopes and dreams to each other. When Rebecca collected Sam the next afternoon they went back to bed and made love into the evening.

To most people it probably sounded boring, but for him, that night was perfect. The two most important people were in bed with him as they talked of their future.

The moment had calmed him more than it upset him. But it also made him realise the damage he had done. Molly hated him, and the chances were, she'd never forgive him. His future now was not cozy cuddles with his son and afternoons spent in bed with Molly, but more than likely a court martial. Georgie was a mistake, a big one. He could add her to his list of cock-ups. He was only headed for one place, the brig. And he only had himself to blame.

The road to redemption will be long and rocky…

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Thank you for reading!