Disclaimer: I don't own Love Mode.
A/N: The plot bunny that was spawned from Wayward Introductions and written just after. I just couldn't resist the forces of Kiichi and Takamiya combined.
Completed: 26/7/05
+ the apocalypse +
Reiji had three words to describe what had just happened: A Colossal Mistake. No, it was more than A Colossal Mistake, it was The Apocalypse. It was the end of everything he knew and everything he didn't want to know—
—it was the first meeting between Takamiya and Kiichi.
At first, when Kiichi had suggested a nice lunch to get to know Reiji's new friend (unsubtle hint, a strong, painful nudge), Reiji had been wary. He'd been browbeaten into it anyway, so it wasn't like he had any choice in the matter, but at least he had expected it to be less of an apocalyptic disaster of gigantic proportions and more of a — well — he supposed he'd hoped for more of a train wreck. A train wreck sounded good at the moment; it sounded right. Some would say he was being pessimistic, but Reiji knew he was just being realistic.
He should have known that the phone call to Takamiya had been a sign. He should have just ended it there without making a mention of any lunches or anyone's annoying brother and their bodyguards. But Kiichi had been forceful in his intentions, and Reiji knew all too well what his brother was capable of; he knew all too well what was going to happen if he didn't follow through. Years and years of sharp comments and five-in-the-morning awakenings, he thought sourly. Not that the six-thirty morning wake-up calls now were better by any means, but at least it wasn't five. Or maybe four. Kiichi had been bored recently; Reiji had no doubt his brother would inhale caffeine just to spite him. So Reiji had explained the situation to Takamiya, phrasing it such a way that everybody within a three feet radius knew what the expected answer should be. What the answer needed to be in order for Reiji to somehow placate Kiichi without turning his own life upside down. Unfortunately, Takamiya either didn't notice or ignored Reiji's edgy tone and had instead been delighted (delighted!) to accept Kiichi's invitation. Reiji had hung up and gone straight to the mini-bar.
So now they were at lunch. Takamiya had rung back, just as Reiji was sipping his brandy, to ask about the place and time. Reiji had sourly told him it was at the Green Garden Café and to be there early because he wasn't going to stay a minute longer than necessary. He had scowled when Takamiya promised not to be late cheerily and then he'd slammed the phone down, rubbing his temple again in a vain attempt to stop what he knew would be a full blown migraine by the time they arrived at the Café. It was instances like these that made him hate his life.
"Really, Takamiya-san. I am surprised that you are actually friends with Reiji! He's my flesh and blood, yes, but sometimes I think he'll never get along with anybody." Kiichi shook his head sadly and cupped his tea elegantly. He was just short of sighing mournfully, no doubt, Reiji thought as he pretended he was anywhere but here.
"I know what you mean, Kiichi-san. At first, I wasn't sure I'd get along with him as well as I have. He was just always brooding and scowling, you know. No fun at all." Takamiya paused to smile brightly. "And please, call me Takamiya. I feel as if we're friends already!"
Kiichi laughed and said, "I'll call you Takamiya if you just call me Kiichi."
Then, he turned to Reiji and sighed with consternation. "Reiji, you should learn from Takamiya! See how nice he is? Not everybody likes to see that glare on your face you know. Of course, I'm not everybody, but that's just me."
Reiji twitched and glared at Kiichi. He glared at Haruomi, who was looking slightly apologetic but was otherwise not helping, for good measure as well, and then he glared at Kashima, who was looking back and forth between Takamiya and Kiichi with amused fascination, just because he could.
Before Reiji could say anything to signal his displeasure (ha! understatement), Takamiya interrupted, "You give me too much credit, Kiichi. Though, I do admit that sometimes his glare is cute."
Kiichi blinked and grinned delightedly. "Oh, you are so right! Since we are being completely honest with each other, I'll divulge a little secret." He lowered his voice to a stage whisper. "Sometimes, I try to make Reiji glare and scowl on purpose! He just has the most adorable vein on his forehead when he gets angry, and you can literally see the dark clouds storming over his head."
Takamiya laughed and lowered his voice to a stage whisper too. "You are absolutely right, Kiichi! He's just so cute when he's angry, isn't he? And the way he clenches his fists, like what's he's doing right now; isn't that the best sight you've ever seen?"
"Oh yes, oh yes. That's certainly among my favourites." Kiichi nodded companionably at Takamiya's gasp.
"Really? There's more?"
"Oh yes," Kiichi sighed dreamily. "You should have seen him when he was younger. All baby-cheeked and scowling with that pout of his. His eyes were as large as saucers and he was just the most charming angry cherub ever."
Takamiya sighed wistfully. "I very much want to see that. It's such a shame."
"Wait." Kiichi brightened considerably. "We have photos, albeit, not very many and in some he's not even glaring, but there's certainly brooding. Brooding should do."
Takamiya smiled. "You are a life-saver, Kiichi."
"Ah…" Kiichi gave a small laugh. "Now you give me too much credit."
"No, no," Takamiya protested. "You are very much the saviour. How else can I describe the person who will show me baby pictures of dear Reiji here?"
Kiichi smiled and waved his hand demurely. "I do my best."
Reiji signalled the waiter for more alcohol. Any, just make it quick. The waiter barely blinked.
Apocalypse.
Colossal Mistake.
He had been doomed from the start. He only wished that these two would just stop talking—especially about him—and go onto something else. Maybe someone else. They did, after all, torture other people on a daily basis.
"We should plan a time for you to come over," Kiichi mused, lightly wiping his mouth with his napkin. There were only crumbs left over from some sweet pastry Kiichi had ordered, and Reiji calculated how much time before they could leave. Not long now, he thought, perking up over his glass of wine.
"I have all our photo albums stacked up at the mansion," he added, and Reiji slumped down.
"That's great," Takamiya said, eyes crinkling in a familiar grin. "I'm sure Reiji won't mind."
Kiichi gestured dismissively. "He never does. Now, shall we discuss the time?"
"Certainly."
Reiji gulped down his wine and scowled at both of them sourly. The horror was only just beginning, he knew, and there was not a thing he could do about it so he scowled at the sunny sky for good measure. Whoever was up there definitely had it out for him.
"Fine," he mumbled glumly, but Takamiya and Kiichi were already in deep conversation regarding future plans to get together and talk. Talk. As if. Reiji sighed and looked around longingly for escape.
There weren't any.
And Reiji sighed. It figured.
He gave Takamiya and Kiichi another look of disgust before he decided to pretend this had never happened. As far as he was concerned, neither knew each other and all was right in the world as long as it stayed that way.═ He drank some more of his chilled wine and stared blankly away.
All was right in the world.
Yes.
"I think a fortnightly dinner together sounds perfect!" Kiichi said cheerfully and Takamiya nodded happily. Haruomi sipped his tea carefully while Kashima just grinned.
Reiji signalled harder for more wine.
