Rain at midnight. Some people may never notice it, because they are always asleep. But I do. It is one of the many things that manage to calm me. It is beautiful, but cold. Refreshing, but harsh. Life-giving, but harmful. And like so many other things in my life, it is fleeting. I learned to revel in it when I can.
The nightmare was what woke me. It always is. Always the same one. And it always involves him dying. But this time, I had nothing to comfort me when I woke. He was not there, enfolding me in his hard, strong arms, telling me without words how much he loved me. That he would never leave me. That he would always keep me safe. No, he was in his own cabin, probably lying awake. I knew that it will be this way with us from now on. If the other is not there, then we could not fall asleep. I only was able to this time because he sat with me until I did.
I sat up and curled my arms around my knees, watching the rain drip down the window in hypnotic patterns and making long, thin fingers crawl down the wall. Weaving the wall in webs...
It wasn't unusual to see rain inside camp now. Ever since the war, almost all the weather had been let in. thunder shook the cabin, rattling me from my thoughts. I looked to the clock on the wall; 11:54. Six minutes to midnight.
I quietly slipped out of bed and gently padded across the room, careful not to wake my siblings. I pulled my long pajama shirt (one of his shirts) off and slipped on a green tank top and jean shorts. I shook my hair free from its braid and let it tumble down my shoulders and around my face. I took my socks off, deciding that tonight I would go barefoot.
The rain was coming down so hard as I silently left the cabin that I could barely see ten feet in front of me. I shook the rain from my eyes, only to have more flood down my face. I quickly walked through the oval of cabins, briefly stopping in front of his. It practically glowed in the full moon, and seemed to welcome the wetness falling from the sky. I shook my head and continued on; if he was asleep, then I would not wake him. He needs rest more than I do. I did not notice the eyes watching me through the window.
My destination was the pier. It brought me as much peace as it did him, but in a different way. He sought the ocean in times of distress because it was where he belonged, his territory. It was where he felt the safest and most at home…the most loved. I loved it because everything about it reminded me of him. The way it folded me in its strong embrace, like his arms. The way it caressed my face, like his hands. The way it listened to everything I said, but didn't judge. It reminded me of where I felt most loved; with him.
When I stand in front of the ocean, I can let my thoughts run wild. I turned my face to the skies, feeling their tears run through my hair and down my outstretched arms. I felt free: my hair was flying unhindered in the strong wind; the tears my nightmare left behind mingled with the rain and were washed away. I was free. Free from my thoughts, free from my troubles, free from everything holding my tears back. In the midnight rain, there was no one around to judge me, no one that depended on me to always be strong, and no responsibilities. It was just me, the wind, ocean, and rain. Or so I thought…
"Annabeth?" I put my arms down at the voice, but didn't turn or open my eyes. I felt him walk up behind me and stop a few feet away. "What are you doing out here?" I didn't need to answer. He already knew. He knows me better than he knows himself, and I him.
"Was it the same one?" I nodded, trying not to let a sob out. "You should have come to get me." Why didn't I go get him? Because I was-am-a coward. I was afraid. I was afraid that I would go find to find him one day, only to see the nightmare come true. That he had left me. Alone. Alone with only my mind for company. And your fears…
I felt a hand on my shoulder, jerking me out of my thoughts. I was still crying, I realized. Shoulder-racking sobs bursting through me. I turned into him, seeking comfort only he could give. I buried my face in his wide, warm chest. He brought his arms around me as I clutched the front of his shirt in my fists.
I felt myself dry off when he touched me, no doubt willing the water to roll off and join the ocean. He was still completely dry as well, but that didn't surprise me. His hand came up to stroke my hair when my sobs didn't cease, and I could feel myself relaxing at his loving touch.
"You should come inside," He breathed in my ear. I shook my head. I knew I was being childish, but if I went inside, then that meant I would have to leave his arms. I felt him sigh and tighten his arms for a second before pulling away.
"Wha…" I didn't get to finish before he had swept me into his arms and started walking back to the cabins. "No…What are you…" It was hard to talk around the lump in my throat. "Please, no," I clutched his shirt so hard my knuckles turned white. My nightmare came to the front of my mind. "No! Don't leave me, please!"
I was begging. I knew how pitiful it was. But he was the only one I would beg to, and this was the only thing I would beg for. I needed him. I couldn't let him leave. I started crying again when I saw my cabin approaching. "No! I can't…I need…don't…" sobs attacked my body again. He tightened his hold on me…and walked right past my cabin. I tried to calm down a little, but the tears wouldn't stop flowing.
"Thank you," I managed to breath into his neck. He walked up the steps to his cabin and pushed the door open. A warm breeze assaulted me, chasing away the chills the rain had left on my skin. I didn't open my eyes when he laid me down; I knew what he was doing. "Don't you dare."
The sound of him moving around stopped. "What?" he asked. "Don't you dare leave me alone." I cracked my eyes open. He was sitting on the bunk across from the one I was laying on. He looked terrible. His ebony hair was a dull black, his shimmering eyes had dimmed drastically, and his natural tan was a sick pasty color.
"Annabeth," he began. I silenced him with a glare. He sighed and moved to sit on the edge of the bed he had laid me on…the bed he normally slept in. I closed my eyes again as he brought a hand up to smooth my curly hair behind my ear. He cupped my cheek in his large, calloused hand and wiped away the tear tracks trailing down them. "I don't wanna sleep alone," I murmured sleepily. I let out a yawn.
He chuckled and shifted over a little ways. "Budge up then," I let a small smile loose and scooted back. We lay down together and I immediately wrapped myself up in his arms. He laid his head on top of mine and pressed a small kiss to it.
"I love you Annabeth," he whispered into my hair. "I love you too Percy. More than you can imagine." His soft laughing was the last thing I heard before I drifted into a peaceful sleep.
The nightmares will be back, they always are. I went to the deepest pits of hell and lived. I will have scars for the rest of my life from that experience, and most of them are not physical. But tonight, I am safe from them. He is here. He will keep me safe. He always will.
Rain at midnight. Not many other people notice it, but I do. It is fleeting, like so many other things in my life. But he isn't. He will always be by my side. He is my constant companion, my rock. I love him, and he loves me back. That is all I need to be whole.
