A/N Gwen's thoughts during episode 2x10, 'Sweet Dreams'
Bleeding
The words were so sharp they cut her in two; the news that he was in love with someone else...was fighting to the death for her no less! The wound was unseen but inside she was bleeding. Did he even realise how deep his careless words to her in the past had gone? She had held them to herself and cherished them. She had let hope kindle again from the embers she had almost let die out. Now he smiled and laughed and joked while she stood and bled inside. No one noticed because no one knew. She wondered about Merlin sometimes, whether he had suspected, but he said nothing. His eyes, as with all eyes, were on the future king, risking the peace of the kingdom for love. How romantic. It pierced her all the more that Arthur would do for another what he would not do for her.
Unseen she clutched at the ragged edges inside, trying to hold them together as her happiness gushed relentlessly through her fingers. She had to ensure that no one saw her bleeding, that no one saw her dying softly in the background. No one could know that he had the power to hurt her like this.
The energy to move drained away as the start of the fight drew closer and finally she stopped her work to stand and watch from a window. She struggled to breath properly as with each second that passed she became colder.
She wanted to scream at him, slap him, shout that she hated him…but how could she? She had no right and she had no claim. Gwen rested her head against the cool glass and shut her eyes. All she could do was sit and bleed...
...and that's where Merlin found her.
