Yup! Another song-fic! I'm pretty damn proud of this idea!
I've always been intrigued by Alanis Morissette's work since I was three years old…
(I have videotapes of me DANCIN and SINGING the song one hand in my pocket
How embarrassing! ) But I recently FOUND the 'Jagged little pill' CD in my mother's rather large CD collection! (She has way more than me…)
And while listening the song 'Not the doctor' I brained stormed an Inuyasha song-fic! My typical self!
This may be a little less fluffy than my usual routine work but hey! This is where I see Inuyasha as is now at this moment!
XxXxX
Title: Not the doctor
Author: Julia Wurm
Rating: PG-13
XxXxX
'I don't wanna be filler if the void solely yours
And I don't wanna be your glass of single malt whiskey
Hidden in the bottom draw
I don't wanna be your bandage if the wound it not mine
Lend me some fresh air
I don't wanna be adored for what I merely represent to you
I don't wanna be your baby sitterYou're a very big boy now
I don't wanna be your mother
I didn't carry in my womb for nine months
Show me the back door
Visiting hours are 9 to 5 and if I show up at ten by 6
Well I already know that you'll find some way to sneak me in
And oh mind the empty bottle with the holes along the bottom
You see it's too much to ask for and
I am not the doctor
I don't wanna be the sweeper of the eggshells that you walk upon
And I don't wanna be your other half
I believe that one and one make two
I don't wanna be your food of the light from the fridge in your face at midnight
Hey what are you hungry for?
I don't wanna be the glue that holds pieces together
I don't wanna be your idle
See this pedicel is high and I'm afraid of heights
I don't wanna be lived through
A vicarious occasion please
Roll down the window
Visiting hours are 9 to 5 and if I show up at ten by 6
Well I already know that you'll find some way to sneak me in
And oh mind the empty bottle with the holes along the bottom
You see it's too much to ask for and
I am not the doctor
I don't wanna live on someday when my motto is last week
And I, I don't wanna be responsible for your fractured heart and it's wounded beat
I don't wanna be a substitute for the smoke you've been inhaling
What do you thank me?
What do you thank me for?
Visiting hours are 9 to 5 and if I show up at ten by 6
Well I already know that you'll find some way to sneak me in
And oh mind the empty bottle with the holes along the bottom
You see it's too much to ask for and
I am not the doctor
Err…
I am not the doctor…
Uh…'
'I don't wanna be filler if the void solely yours'
Kagome fell to the ground in a less than amused mood. Her clung body close together as she hugged her knees.
Her stubborn hanyou had yet again succeeded in ticking her off.
He was just so stubborn…
And jerkish…
Oh and not to mention arrogant!
She wasn't angry enough to cry… yet. But she was sure infuriated. He'd gone and done it again…
Labelling her a dainty useless jewel detector. What was his problem?
Sango had seen her anger when she stormed off into the forest. She had tried to stop her but her rage was too great. She just needed a little time alone. So there she sat on the grassy soil huddled into a lonely ball. The air around he was brilliant. A cool breeze brushed against her. She heaved a deep sigh feel rejuvenated by the breeze. It was almost cooling her down.
She perked her head up still not complete happy with herself, "There must a stream or a waterfall around here…" Kagome mumbled pushing off the ground. She yet again heaved in the rich air standing tall. Her back arched and shoulders raise as she let the air run through her body.
She would miss the federal era so dearly when she was forced to leave.
The air was so fresh…
The forest was still remaining not replaced by sky scrappers…
And the people…
They were so worry free at some times. They didn't care how there business was going. Or how old they were. All they cared about was the welcoming and good fair of others.
Well most people…
In other words everyone except Inuyasha…
He almost seemed to try to take her and replace the gap Kikyo once fitted into. He expected her to be a 'follower' sometimes…
Well tough luck to him!
It wasn't HER problem! Why should SHE care!
and I don't wanna be your glass of single malt whiskey
Hidden in the bottom draw
That's it…
It wasn't her problem!
All she was to him was something he can bitch at to relieve his own little 'problems'…
Wells he wasn't going to take that anymore!
She was like alcohol to him…
A little drug to reveal his pain but not solve it! And in the end he ended up with a bigger problem!
Her pissed at him…
What a jerk…
I don't wanna be your bandage if the wound it not mine
Argh! She was always just a fix it thing!
A bandage if you put! All Inuyasha wanted out of her was to cover his wounds until they heal. Well nope! i TOUGH LUCK DOOGY BOY/i
-FLASH BACK-
"Inuyasha! I'm glad you're back!" Kagome greeted pleasantly.
"Feh!" Inuyasha mumbled as he walked blindly past Kagome.
"Where were you anyway?" Kagome questioned trying to ignore his arrogant reply.
"None of your damn business." He hissed back continuing on his way back to the camp. Kagome was left standing there bewildered on he reaction on the dirt road about 10 minutes from the town.
"Inu..?" Kagome murmured a little disappointed. She lightly trailed back behind him, not motioning to make a sound. It was just like her to keep down to satisfy him.
He walked forward his head draping down. His bare feet shuffled in the ground. Kagome glared at his curiously holding back her questions.
Then she noticed something in his right hand!
He was tapering with something with his claws.
It was!
Kagome gasp in reaction stopping in her tracks.
"What's with you?" Inuyasha snapped dryly whipping his head back with no sympathy. It was undeniable what he'd done. The white ribbon held in his palm clarified it all.
"You- you- you were with Kikyo weren't you?" Kagome demanded. Kagome wasn't horrified at all by this only disappointed. It was never the fact he went to visit her that bother Kagome…
She understood very well… He loved her and needed to see her.
" No! Now bug of wench!" Inuyasha growled cold and harsh his eyes almost flaming red.
"Yes you did!" Kagome protested weakly. "That's her ribbon!"
"Uh no… No it's"
"Yes it is don't lie to me! I'm not some dumb jewel detector you know!" Kagome hissed.
"Feh! Look that way to me!" He spontaneously barked back.
There it was…
The snap. Kagome heart almost shattered. It confirmed to her what he thought of her.
"You're not but a replacement! A not so good one too!" Inuyasha ridiculed grimly.
"Wha-? No! I'm no!" Kagome couldn't let a coherent sentence flow from his mouth as it all fell out like word vomit.
"Youyou-! You inconsiderate JERK! I HATE I HATE YOU FUCKING GUTS!" Kagome screamed language, which she had only heard from Inuyasha.
"I hate you too bitch!" Inuyasha exclaimed then stormed forward in his demon like blur.
He left her… stumped by his unfriendly nature.
All the good she had seen in him was overfilled with bad. There was nothing she saw in him at moment. He didn't have heart…
No matter how many times she thought he'd had a good heart and tried to be patient it was all just a fluke…
There was nothing good about him at that moment…
Kagome glared up at the sky trying not to let her tears fill them the a blur of fire caught her eyes.
It was Sango…
She would have welcomed her but she was just too angry. Not wanting another moment in public she imitated Inuyasha her stormy mood as she raced off into the forest. Making SURE it was in the opposite direction as Inuyasha.
"Kagome!" Sango called but her attempt was useless with Kagome rage..
END FLASH BACK-
Lend me some fresh air
God… Kagome was just sick of this….
He had no sense of consideration. Well it didn't matter!
As soon as the jewel was completed and Naraku was gone she could LEAVE! And never see his face again!
Many times when she'd been angry with him and come to the conclusion that when the jewel was completed she could and never seen him again she'd break down with anxiety.
Her old self would most likely say…
'I can't leave him, I love him…' And then she'd fall into line to end up saying again and again,
Well not this time!
She was getting out of that never ending circle of reputation and breaking free into the fresh air!
She started the stroll forward with a bit of skip in her walk. It's not like she was happy.
She was just relived to have that jackass off her back.
I don't wanna be adored for what I merely represent to you
It just felt so good. Knowing she was alone that is…
Almost the whole time here she'd been always labelled as with Inuyasha.
It was ALWAYS Inuyasha and Kagome, Kagome and Inuyasha. Never EVER just Kagome.
No…
Inuyasha had made Kagome almost seem like a weak little human! Well she was not! God, she could pin Inuyasha to a tree just as easily as Kikyo could yet Inuyasha didn't call Kikyo weak!
He adored her!
He praised her!
Not that she wanted to be like Kikyo…
Kikyo reputation was what Inuyasha thought of her…
No way would Kagome want to be adored by Inuyasha and all everyone thought of Kagome would be 'Oh Inuyasha thinks she's amazing!'
Nu uh!
Kagome wanted to be known as amazing because of herself… not because of Inuyasha or anybody!
i b I don't wanna be your baby sitterYou're a very big boy now
She wanted to be single independent and known for that fact. No man would ever control her life. And she would not go around nursing some baby of a boy!
Pah! Inuyasha was a baby !
Or at least he acted like one…
Kagome did NOT want to baby sit some immature little kid!
Kagome didn't even wanna baby sit her brother not mention a 18 year old hanyou with a furious temper and a bad attitude.
I don't wanna be your mother
I didn't carry in my womb for nine months
There it was in the distance a beautiful waterfall glistening in the distance…
Everything around it seemed to only intensify its beauty.
If only Inu-
No! she would not think about that! She would want Inuyasha be her side to witness this beautiful sight…
She huffed a strong gulp of air just to make her feel strong!
What was she kidding herself…?
No matter how mad at Inuyasha she was, no matter how much she despised him she wanted him near her to see beauty. He could be sweet…
Sometimes…
But no!
Here she was acting like his mother getting mad at him for his mistakes then thinking about how sweet he was!
NO! SHE WAS NOT HIS MOTHER AND WOULD NOT ACT LIKE IT!
Show me the back door
Was there any escaping this…?
Kagome sighed and flopped down on a rock next to the extravagant waterfall. The cool breeze of water was compelling here compared to her last location. Only here it was relaxing to her cooled down self. It almost cut the anxiety out of her heart.
SWISH!
Kagome whipped her head around as the bushes in the background rustled.
"Uh…!" Kagome stuttered looking around frantically for any type of protection she could.
The bushes rustle more as she feebly grabbed a small pebbled on the side of the boulder.
"I'll through it if you attack!" Kagome growled hysterically feeling a warm tint grown in her cheeks.
Visiting hours are 9 to 5 and if I show up at ten by 6
Well I already know that you'll find some way to sneak me in
A silver headed hanyou emerged from the dense forest.
"Oh it's you…" Kagome grumbled tossing the stone into the water flipping her head back in a snobbish way.
"Kagome I" Inuyasha started with an awkward sympathy in his voice.
The fuming Kagome didn't want to hear his excuses of his growling temper and ignored the rare tone. "Don't wanna hear it!"
"Kagome please!" He begged walking closer as Kagome shifted slightly.
"Can it jerk!" Kagome snapped coldly. A cold shoulder flared in front of Inuyasha's face.
"Kagome I'm serious!" Inuyasha pleaded grabbing her arm whipping her around and confront her face. Only centimetres apart Kagome gasped.
'How rude!' She thought
"I'm sorry!" Inuyasha said smoothly almost touching her lips as he talked. In surprise Kagome broke away from his light grasp marching distant from the hanyou.
"Oh that's a good one hearing an apology from some one who supposedly hates me!" Kagome exclaimed struggling to twist through the rocky land surrounding the waterfall; many times losing her balance with the slippery, damp boulders.
"I didn't mean it! I was in a bad mood!" Inuyasha protested.
"Yea about how Kikyo DIED! You know she's been dead for a long time and there's nothing you can do to bring her back!" Kagome barked.
"Plus!" She added, "Why should I give a damn with a person who says they hate me every time they're mad!"
It was so true…
Inuyasha was a completely temperamental lover…
Inuyasha knew his bad mood always hurt Kagome. Especially today. In her eyes he didn't see the pain he usually saw. He saw something else, a burning anger and a truth she had realised.
There would be no room for mistake anymore now that she knew the truth and had become on top of it all.
If he wanted something even if came late he had to acknowledge that Kagome would not do anything anymore to get it for him. Unlike he would her….
And oh mind the empty bottle with the holes along the bottom
You see it's too much to ask for and
A moment of silence pasted between the two. There would be know mistaking it. Inuyasha was not going to lose his temper yet he needed to find something to say.
"Kagome… It's not like that!" Inuyasha exclaimed desperately.
"It's not like that! It's not like that! Then what it's like!" Kagome demanded to know as she flicked her eyes back on him.
"Kikyo gone now! I was upset!" Inuyasha explained suddenly.
"So? She's been gone all along and you knew it!" Kagome shouted.
"Maybe so! But she needed to let me know! I was stubborn! I was an idiot for that!" Inuyasha cried pleadingly.
"Yes you were…" Kagome growled.
"Kagome stop please! We can fix this!" Inuyasha pleaded.
Whoa, Whoa, Whoa!
Did he just that?
I am not the doctor
"Uh uh! Not this time doggy boy! This 'we' we're talking about isn't going fix it. In the end it's going to be me that fixes this!" Kagome started.
"No it's going to be we this time I promise!" Inuyasha protested.
"No! That's nothing more than a shallow promise! And yes… it's going to be me! And you know what? I'm not going to stand for it! Cause' I'm not the doctor!" Kagome exclaimed sharply.
"Kagome look !" Inuyasha almost chocked on the next few words cutting him self off.
I don't wanna be the sweeper of the egg shells that you walk upon
"Look at what? I don't need to look cause this is what I see!" Kagome hissed sharply turning back around to face the wilderness.
"I see a little boy who want EVERY LITTLE THING done for him! You expect me to clean up the your path well you got it wrong!" Kagome explained.
"I do not!" Inuyasha objected.
"You do too!" Kagome corrected silencing the hanyou.
And I don't wanna be your other half
I believe that one and one make two
"Not to mention you expect ME to be at your side EVERY TIME you want me and to know when you want to be alone! I'm NOT physic you know! I've tried SO long to be perfect but I'm never quite enough!" Kagome mocked.
"Kagome I do want you and if I treated you that way I'm sorry! I wanna correct everything I've done wrong!" Inuyasha cried pleadingly.
"No! I don't wanna be with you! I don't wanna be your other half!" Kagome rejected.
"Kagome I want to be with you…" Inuyasha mumbled quietly.
"Well you know what! I don't wanna be with you as one! I am my own person and so are you! Together we are two!" Kagome declared harshly.
I don't wanna be your food of the light from the fridge in your face at midnight
Hey what are you hungry for?
"I'm not saying that Kagome! I don't want to lay these responsibilities on you any more! I know that now… I swear I promise I'll do anything to prove to you, I don't want one I just want us." Inuyasha said finally catching up to Kagome. He grabbed her had gently and held it dearly.
"I'm not expecting you to waver on my every need. I'm not asking you to rely to my wants… You already do with doing anything." Inuyasha explained lovingly. There was something in his eyes the spoke so much truth. He wasn't just trying to make her feel good. Kagome already knew he was a heart throbber when he wanted to be, but right now her was truly sorry.
"But what do you what?" Kagome smirked wrapping her arms around the hanyou. His hands spontaneously draped around Kagome's body.
"Just you…" He mumbled back nipping her ear.
I don't wanna be the glue that hold pieces together
"You're such a liar…" Kagome muttered in a gentle smirk pushing away slightly only trying to tempt him.
"Wench..." Growled Inuyasha. Kagome eyes widened and pushed him away she fell back.
No!
She couldn't have some one who took this much out of her!
She would always have to fix herself as well as Inuyasha!
She wanted no part in that he could just fix himself!
"No! I don't want no us if that's the true you!" Kagome screamed tears now welling in her eyes. She began to crawl back losing her grip several times against the rocks. Inuyasha was left dumbfounded standing in the suddenly bitter chilled air.
I don't wanna be your idle
See this pedicel is high and I'm afraid of heights
"Kagome no! Don't think that way! I'm sorry I messed up again!" Inuyasha protested frantically.
"Jus- JUST LEAVE ME ALONE! " Kagome hollered.
"I don't want to be near you! You expect too much out of me! I can't take this!" Kagome cried the salt-water tears rushing down her face. Inuyasha rushed to her side. He'd never kept his patients so long. But he knew it was worth. Right now he'd hurt her and HE needed to help her.
I don't wanna be lived through
A vicarious occasion please
Roll down the window"I don't wanna be your second Kikyo! I am your second chance but you just lost it!" Kagome shrieked desperately having the anger build up in her voice.
No…
She hadn't just said…
She couldn't have…
Both Inuyasha and Kagome stood shocked as tears froze in their paths. Everything around them stopped.
Visiting hours are 9 to 5 and if I show up at ten by 6
Well I already know that you'll find some way to sneak me in
And oh mind the empty bottle with the holes along the bottom
You see it's too much to ask for and
"I didn!" Kagome struggled to finish the sentence. Inuyasha just took a deep breath and exhaled. He placed his finger on he lips to hush her as he lay on the rocks aside her.
"I know what you meant…"Inuyasha said as a thick blanket of silence passed over them.
"Thank you…" Kagome mumbled after he removed her finger.
Maybe he wasn't so selfish afterwards. I mean he was talking this moment and being so forgiving not to mention patient and apologetic.
Was this why she loved him?
"We're all imperfect and that's what makes us mortal, and to add beautiful. You see that bird chirping over there?" Inuyasha questioned taking Kagome in his arms. Kagome nodded spying the indigo bird flying past.
"He doesn't have a beautiful voice. But his feathers are a brilliant blue. And that bird chirping a sweet tune. Its coat is an pale brown! We all have something about us that is amazing. Plus we all make mistakes and some bigger than others." Inuyasha informed bowing his head.
"Like mine today…"
Kagome breath became heavy. "You're only playing me Inuyasha!" Kagome hissed pushing his off of her and standing up again on the jagged rocks.
I am not the doctor
"I don't wanna hear your lies!" Kagome denied to believe.
"You're trying to break me in half! That way I can't fix myself now ay! I can't take this!" Kagome bawled.
"Kagome I won't break you … " Inuyasha paused "I couldn't break some one that strong…."
I don't wanna live on someday when my motto is last week
"Even if it's not today someday I wanna be with you…" Inuyasha stated a tender warmth in his voice.
"I'm not going to live on someday. It's not a day. I'd rather live on today or last week if you don't mind." Kagome stated stubbornly refusing Inuyasha apology.
And I, I don't wanna be responsible for your fractured heart and it's wounded beat
I don't wanna be a substitute for the smoke you've been inhaling
"Someday was today."
"Your heart has been broken by Kikyo already and if I go with you…then I'll be responsible for healing it. I don't want that." Kagome testified boldly.
"I'm already better." Inuyasha reasurred.
"Plus I don't wanna find something to heal you from that stuff in your time you keep breathing in! But I still will?" Inuyasha smirked again walking about to Kagome. He turned her around from her projectile form.
What do you thank me
What do you thank me for?
"I've done so many things for you an you don't even notice!" Kagome hissed sternly.
"I'm sorry." Inuyasha back down to her hasty comment.
She couldn't believe him…?
Had she unlocked some kind of sweet Inuyasha?
'Cause right now he was being sweeter than anything she'd ever seen out of him!
"This isn't you Inuyasha!" Kagome exclaimed correctly.
"Feh!"
There he goes…
Stubborn as ever…
Though it was kind of cute ne?
But how many times has she thanked him and he just replied "feh"…
"ARGH!" Kagome fumed.
"YOU NEVER THANK ME AT ALL!" Kagome yelped.
Visiting hours are 9 to 5 and if I show up at ten by 6
Well I already know that you'll find some way to sneak me in
And oh mind the empty bottle with the holes along the bottom
You see it's too much to ask for and
"I worry about you ALL the time and it seems you don't even care about me! You bash me around like I'm useless! You THINK of me as a JEWEL DETECTOR AND HATE ME!" Kagome exclaimed fury in her raging voice.
"You're wrong…" Inuyasha replied sitting down and bowing his head.
"I worry about you all the time, day and night. I worry if you're going to leave when this is over. You've been by my side since… I can't even remember and you never left me. Kikyo was never like you were. You're truly amazing…" Inuyasha started dazzling Kagome proving all her theories wrong.
"If I'd do something wrong you'd make it right. If I was late you'd somehow get me there. You're everything I've dreamed of and I can't even start to thank you!" Inuyasha finished.
I am not the doctor"You see I fix EVERYTHING for you! You're barely done anything!" Kagome yelled fiercely but restraining her ever so tempting anger.
Err…
I am not the doctor…
"I AM LIKE A DOCTOR TO YOU! NOTHING MORE! All I do is fix you when I'm paid nothing! I DON'T WANNA BE THAT!" Kagome hallowed.
"I know… but…I am my own doctor now. As are you." Inuyasha rose to his feet.
"I'm sorry if I've ever hurt you." Inuyasha apologized for the last time.
"How do I know if you're telling the truth?" Kagome sneered.
"Because…" Inuyasha breathed.
"Hmm?"
"Because…" Inuyasha took a deep breath. He had to just get it out. "Because I love you…" he stated with a tender passion as he wrapped himself over Kagome.
She looked up into his amber eyes full of mystery. His silver hairs tousled down his sides as he looked lovely into her eyes.
Uh…She let a smearing smile cross her face wittily.
"I love you too… And I now remember why I love you…" Kagome replied. Their lips met in a tranquil unison as Kagome thought rationally…
'Maybe we all need to be a doctor sometimes…'
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Now that was fun to write! It put a smile on my face! It's not the most moving piece ever nor my best but cute fluffy!
I hope you guys enjoyed that!
PLEASE Read and review! I'm begging you!
Well that's all for now!
PLEASE R&R!
Julia Wurm
Ja ne!
