Jar-Jar's Retaliation

(A/N: I honestly don't know if this is funny. It was in my head and I just had to write it. Tell me what you think!)

Hello. Mesa called Jar-Jar Binks. Yousa may notice that I'm talking in a deep voice. Yousa also may notice that I'm dressed all in black. I'm also carrying an AR33 assault rifle, so keep your mouth shut or prepared to f(censored) beyond recognition.

Yousa all hate me. I know. My house gets egged often. People burn little Jar-Jar toys in my front yard. Guys in white sheets chase me around on horseback with whips and chains. And not the good kind.

I don't get it. Yousa all love the little green muppit jedi. Yousa all admire the self-absorbed queen with the bad makeup. Yousa all adore the obviously gay jedi boys. But notsa me. I'm the pain. I'm the comic relief gone horribly wrong. But I'm a better actor then them all! Combined! I went to Princeton, for cripes sake! I don't deserve to be offed in Episode Two. They say that I'll have a great part in it, but you all know that they'll kill me in some horrible brutal way, just to please the fans.

I'd just like you to know that I was just following the script, and I'm not what caused the movie to go bad. It was that damn Lloyd kid! A wet potato could act better then him! He was the mistake! Send him the death threats! Burn down his house! Kill him! I'll lead the crusaders!

Join me, and we'll use the real force to whoop his ass!