Disclaimer: I don't own Escaflowne. ::cries:: A/N: This is the windmill/bridge scene with a twist!
I glared down at the clear water of the stream, my hand still stinging from that slap. I remember the feeling of my palm hitting his cheek, the shocked look on his face. I sighed, beginning to feel a little bit sorry for what I had done. Then that pesky little voice invaded my thoughts. Don't feel sorry for him, Hitomi! Remember what he said to you? He basically told you that you were a tool, an object!
Anger enveloped my mind and I fingered the rock in my hand. I didn't remember picking it up. I flung it angrily into the stream, distorting my reflection. "What a jerk!" I can't believe that I thought he might actually…like me. Red-hot needles jabbed at the backs of my eyes and my vision blurred slightly. No! I would not cry!
I crouched for a sprint, running always made me feel better. The feel of the wind in my hair, caressing like gentle fingers, the sounds of my shoes hitting the ground, that cleansing feeling. The feeling of my worries and problems draining away, being purged from my mind and body.
The rain began to fall as I reached the outskirts of Asturia. Large raindrops pelted me, plastering my short, brown hair to my skull, soaking my clothes. My shoes squeaked on the cobblestones as I headed toward an overhang on the edge of the street. I leaned against the smooth wood of the building, and watched the raindrops make ripples in the puddles. Lightning flashed, followed quickly by a loud roar of thunder. I cringed deeper under the shelter of the overhead. A movement on the left caught my attention. A couple were kissing, sheltered under the man's coat. They looked so happy…
My cheeks burned and I looked away. I couldn't stay here, everything reminded me… I jumped off the ledge and jogged away.
I wandered around. Occasionally, a flicker of lightning raced through the sky, illuminating the bottoms of the thick blanket of dark gray clouds. I no longer heard the thunder, which meant that the storm was moving away. The rain had let up, yet a steady stream of wet droplets insisted on falling from the sky.
I took refuge under a nearby tree. I couldn't shake the feeling that I was supposed to be somewhere. "Not there," I whispered to myself, remembering the incident at the windmill. "I'm not going back. There's no reason for me to…" The feeling refused to leave. I pushed myself away from the rough trunk and walked, despising every step I took. I just wanted to sink into the ground and disappear of the face of this mocking planet. What am I doing here? When did I get used to life here? When did I start to like the people here? "It's hard to remember home…"
I came to a small wooden bridge and stood for a moment, thinking. For some reason, I looked up, across the stream. A lone figure was walking toward me, toward the bridge. Allen. His head was hanging dejectedly, white shirt soaked through, his long, blond hair dripping. He looked sad. I didn't feel like sharing my misery. Not now, not…with Allen. I don't think he would understand. I turned the corner before he saw me. I wandered down an alley, empty merchants cart littered the sides, pushed against the high rock walls.
It had begun to rain again, and the sun was setting. It was beginning to get a little cold. I muttered under my breath and pushed onward. My legs ached, it seemed like I had been walking for hours. I most likely had. I looked up, shielding my eyes from the dripping rain with my hand. A small ledge, sheltered underneath an overhang, was halfway up the wall. Handholds had been carved up to it in the rough-hewn rock wall. Apparently, people climbed up there for some reason. For what reason, I didn't really care.
The rocks were slippery despite their roughness, but I managed to pull myself up to the ledge. I don't know what possessed me to do that, to climb all the way up there. But I did. I sat down, scrunching into the corner to stay out of the rain, rested my head on my knees, and cried.
//~~*~~\\
I turned back to Escaflowne, and began again to scrape and polish the sword. Nicks and scratches dotted its surface, marring its smooth silverness and distorting the reflection of my face. I noticed the red hand print on my cheek and felt the stinging pain. I remembered Hitomi's face, her shocked expression quickly turning to anger when I told her that I wanted her powers. I can't believe I said that, that wasn't what I wanted to say at all! I wanted to tell her that I loved her, but I couldn't…I didn't think she…Ugh! I don't know what I thought.
You're an idiot, Fanel. Your stupidity just ruined your chances with Hitomi!
It's raining really hard outside. The sudden downpour just appeared out of nowhere. Hitomi is out in that somewhere, because of me.
Merle bounded into the windmill, the ever overly happy grin plastered on her face whenever she saw me. "Hi, Lord Van!" she cried, running up and almost tackling me to the ground as she hugged me. She looked up at me with her big, blue eyes. "What's the matter, Lord Van?" Merle has a knack for being able to tell when something's bothering somebody. I didn't really want to tell her, but I did anyway.
"Hitomi and I were talking, and I said some things I guess I shouldn't have. She got mad and stormed off," I remember myself saying.
"She slapped you, didn't she?" Merle asked, her eyes narrowing. Lightning flashed across the sky. I stared past Merle into the pouring rain outside the open windmill door.
"I have to go find her, Merle. I need to apologize…" As I ran out into the rain I heard Merle yell after me.
"She's the one who needs to apologize! Lord Van! You'll catch a cold!"
I ran down the hill, slipping and sliding on the slick, wet grass. I headed towards the city, I didn't know where else to look. Another streak of lightning shot through the sky, followed by a loud crack of thunder. Hitomi could be anywhere; she'd been gone for almost an hour already. She most likely was trying to find shelter. I know that the streets have overhangs next to them… I jogged down a narrow cobblestone road, past a kissing couple. They didn't even glance up at me. I stopped under an overhang for a few minutes. C'mon Hitomi, where are you? Then I stopped. Did I really want to speak with her now? Would she even want to talk to me? Probably not. What would I be apologizing for anyway? For wanting to use her powers? Too many questions raced through my brain. Icy water dripped from my shaggy black hair, down my back, snapping me from my thoughts. Yes, I had to find Hitomi.
I jumped off the ledge and walked away, heedless to the ever-dripping rain that splashed down upon me, with one hand clasped around the hilt of my sword. Just touching the smooth metal gave me a feeling of security, sort of like with the blankets young children have, or a stuffed animal. It didn't shake the feeling I had that Hitomi would never want to speak to me again. That thought horrified me.
I walked past a small wooden bridge. Leaning against the railing, staring out into the murky depths of the water, was Allen Schezar, Knight of Caeli. For a moment I considered asking him to help me find the green-eyed girl, but only for a moment. If we did find her, she would probably run straight to the blond haired knight. Besides, I needed to talk to her alone.
I turned away from the desolate man on the bridge and crept away. For almost half an hour it seemed like the rain was going to stop, but a sudden tremendous downpour dismissed that theory. I stopped in an alley, empty except for the abandoned merchant cart pushed up against the walls. I crawled under a bright yellow and green canopy, draped over a dark wooden cart. It wasn't very comfortable, but at least it was dry. I was soaked, completely, utterly soaked. My black hair was matted down to my head, my bangs hanging annoyingly in front of my eyes. My wet clothes were cold and clammy feeling. I was upset, but not about my appearance. "Where could she be?" I wondered aloud. Maybe she went back to the castle, my brain told me, or maybe she's lost…but don't worry, Fanel, she's as far away from you as she could possibly get.
I remembered what is had said to her. How could you be so stupid, Van? You told her you wanted her to stay with you…and then you go and say you want her for her powers! She probably thinks you're— A noise above interrupted my insulting thoughts. It was the sound of something scraping against rock.
I poked my head out from under the canopy and glanced up, and noticed a small ledge in the wall, handholds leading up to it. Hitomi? I grabbed onto the rough wall and pulled myself upward, hopeful yet apprehensive of what I might find.
//~~*~~\\
Maybe I should go back, I can't stay out here forever… I sighed, leaning my forehead against my bent knees, twirling a piece of my short brown hair with my left hand. Van would be almost impossible to avoid…no, there was no almost. It would be impossible to avoid Van. I shifted my foot; pins and needles of pain had begun to race through my leg, the shoe scraping loudly against the coarse rock. "How I hate those awkward moments," I murmured sarcastically. I leaned my head back against the wall, eyes half closed, listening to the soft patter of the rain. Suddenly, a tan arm flung itself over the ledge, muscles bunching, followed by a mass of black hair, then a pair of mahogany eyes. "Van?" A bead of water dripped off the end of his nose, leaving a small wet circle on the dry rock.
"Hi, Hitomi," he smiled sheepishly, still hanging onto the ledge, in the rain.
Why is he here? He's been looking for me? "You can sit down, it's not like I'm going to bite you or anything," I said quietly, looking away from him.
He climbed inside, settling his soaked body in the corner opposite from me. I refused to look at him; I pretended to be interested in the rocks instead.
"Hitomi, I…" He began hesitantly. I could feel him looking at me. "I wanted to…apologize…for what I said earlier…"
I heard myself talking. "Van," I said quietly. "Do you really know what you're apologizing for?"
There was a pause. "…For saying I wanted to use your powers?" There was a note of confusion and hesitancy in his voice. He sounded like one of those kids who tries to say the answer he thinks someone wants to hear, without knowing whether or not is was the truth.
I felt myself blushing. "Van, you—" Ugh, why couldn't I just say this and get it over with? Okay, I was just going to blurt it out, get this whole deal over with! "I care for you, okay?" I looked up and saw his red-brown eyes widen with surprise. "I felt like you were toying with my feelings. I had some strange thought that you might actually care for me, too." I looked away again; I didn't want to see the disgusted expression on his face.
"Hitomi?" His voice was soft, but I didn't look at him. "Hitomi, I-I do care for you. That's what I wanted to tell you earlier, but I thought that you…you didn't like me." He sighed softly. "I thought that you were in love with Allen."
"He just reminded me of…someone I knew back on the Mystic Moon, that's all." I turned and looked at Van, his unruly hair hanging in front of his eyes. Hesitantly, I reached out a hand and smoothed his raven bangs away from his face. I went to pull my hand back, blushing, but he reached up and caught my hand, holding it against his face. "So, you're not in love with Allen?" he asked impishly, but with a tinge of worry.
"No," I said softly, smiling at him. I'm not in love with Allen, I loved Van all along. I've just never realized it until now… He leaned forward and his lips brushed mine. I pulled back slightly and looked into mahogany eyes.
"Isn't Merle waiting for you?" I asked, grinning at him.
"Probably," he answered, pulling me in for another kiss.
//~~*~~\\
The End
So, what do ya'll think? R&R, please.
