ABBY AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY

A/N- I KNOW I HAVEN'T FINISHED MY FIRST STORY YET, BUT THIS ONE WOULDN'T LEAVE ME ALONE, SO I HAD TO LET IT OUT. THOSE OF YOU READING MONSTERS IN THE SHADOWS, NEVER FEAR - THE NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE UP SOON. MY MUSE HAS KIND OF LEFT ME. I WAS HOPING WRITING THIS ONE WOULD JUMPSTART THE CREATIVE JUICES. THIS WILL PROBABLY BE A TWO OR A THREE-SHOT. HOPE YOU ENJOY IT AND FIND IT AS FUNNY AS I DID. AND PLEASE REVIEW - NOTHING MAKES AN AUTHOR WANT TO WRITE MORE THAN HEARING FROM THEIR READERS.

A/N II - I OWN NOTHING EVEN REMOTELY CONNECTED TO NCIS OR WONKA BRAND CANDIES, NOR TO THE MOVIE WILLY WONKA AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY, OR THE BOOK BY ROALD DAHL, CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY. I DO, HOWEVER, OWN A COPY OF THE BOOK, SO AT LEAST I GOT SOMETHIN'!

SUMMARY: A tired Abby, too much chocolate, and an overactive imagination! Revolves around our favorite lab rat, but the entire team is included.

Abby Sciuto raced into her favorite team's bullpen as fast as her 6 inch, black, platform boots would allow her. "Change, change, need change," she could be heard muttering under her breath.

"Hey Abbs, where's the fire?" called Very Special Agent Tony DiNozzo.

"Where's the fire?" Abby questioned loudly. "It's in the breakroom!"

All four MCRT agents jumped to their feet, ready to go put out a fire.

"No, no, not that kind of fire, like with flames and heat and everything," Abby said, and the agents all sat back down with a sigh. "But there is an emergency in the breakroom, of, like, epic proportions! Serious, life-altering proportions!"

The four team members all jumped to their feet again. "What's the emergency, Abby?" yelled Gibbs.

"It's the candy machine!" Abby yelled back, just as excited, but for an entirely different reason.

Tony, Ziva, and Tim returned to their desks and dropped unceremoniously back into their chairs. Gibbs walked right up into Abby's space and squinted - an Abb-ified version of The Glare. "A life-altering emergency of epic proportions with a vending machine?" he growled softly.

"Yes!" Abby nodded seriously, not one bit afraid of either The Glare or the growl. She knew Gibbs would never be really angry with her. "Well, not so much the machine itself, although technically, I suppose it is, because what's inside the machine is a part of the machine. But most people would probably say that the contents of a machine are a separate thing, which, because it's food and not mechanical in any way is probably also true…" she sputtered as she paced, arms waving about.

Ziva, Tony, and Tim traded confused looks. Gibbs took Abby by the shoulders, stopping her in her tracks. "Abby."

She shrugged out of his loose hold. "I can't just stand here talking with you, Gibbs! Every minute I'm away, someone could be using the machine! Do you know how bad that would be? Awful, that's how, really, really awful! I need to get back there, pronto!"

Ziva spoke up. "What is so important that no one should use the machine, Abby?"

The flittery goth turned to Ziva. "The DAZZLE!" she said, as if everyone should have known that. Four sets of eyebrows rose. Only Gibbs was brave enough to ask the question on everyone's minds.

"What the hell is a Dazzle?"

Abby rolled her eyes in frustration. "You know, The Dazzle….." They all still looked confused. "The Dazzle, the new Wonka bar, The Wonka Dazzle Bar." Everywhere she looked she still saw confused faces. "Oh come on! Three layers of crunchy, munchy chocolate cookies with creamy, dreamy peanut butter in between, all covered in a double dip of Wonka's best chocolate! The Wonka Dazzle Bar!" She paused for a minute, thinking. "Although, seeing as it has cookies in it, I suppose it should be called a cookie, not a bar, but I think the peanut butter and chocolate coating make it a bar. Hmmmm, I'll have to study that…"

All four agents groaned. Just another Abby obsession. "So, what's the emergency, Abbs? Dazzle Bar button get stuck? Cuz I showed you how to get around that…" said Tony, who quickly backtracked with a glare from his boss, "….all in a totally legal way, of course," he added with a wince.

"There's only ten bars left in the machine! And every moment I'm here kibitzing with you, someone could be buying one out from under me!"

Tim joined the conversation. "So why are you here, Abby, if there's no problem with the machine?"

Abby's eyes widened dramatically. "But there is a problem! There's ten candy bars in there, and I need them! But all I have is a ten!" She waved a $10 bill around in the air. "I need 10 ones, quick, before someone else buys one!" Abby turned in a circle in the middle of the bullpen, looking at each friend, frustrated that no one was moving to help her. "PLEASE!" she shouted, waving the bill again.

The agents all quickly rushed to pull out their wallets, knowing that Abby wouldn't hesitate to kill them and leave no evidence over a candy bar. Except Gibbs. He rolled his eyes, watching his three highly skilled investigators jump to do Abby's bidding. "I've got three," came from Tony, "I only have one," said Ziva. They all turned eyes to Tim, the only one who could save them now. "C'mon, McMoneybags," begged Tony. "Ten Georges should be a piece of cake for McGemcity."

Tim hurriedly checked every pocket in his wallet, every suit jacket pocket, every pants pocket, even the secret compartment in his belt, as Ziva and Tony looked on in wonderment at all the hiding places. Feeling eyes on him, Tim looked up. "What? I don't like to keep too much cash in one place, so I don't lose anything if something gets stolen," he said defensively.

Tony just couldn't resist. "Get a lot of people trying to steal that belt, McVanderbilt?" he smiled as Tim just glared at him. "C'mon, share. What did the great treasure hunt turn up, McGates?"

Tim sighed. "Sorry, Abby, all I have is 5 ones."

"Really?" Tony scoffed. "McRolling-in-dough has no small bills? Oh, wait, that's right, he only uses 50's and 100's."

Ziva jumped in before an argument could start. "Well, together, we have $9..." All eyes went to Gibbs, who was already shaking his head.

Abby put on her saddest, puppy-dog, Gibbs-can't-resist face and walked to his desk. "Giiiiiiiiiibbs, " she begged in a little girl voice, bouncing up and down when he shook his head. "Cmon, Gibbs, pleeeeeease? Just one teeny, tiny, minuscule dollar?" He was still shaking his head. "Please?"

"No,' he said firmly, not swayed by her tactics like his agents were.

Abby pouted. "But why not?"

Gibbs stood and walked around Abby. "You know all that sugar's not good for you. It will give you nightmares. And I'll be the one up all night taking care of you. So, NO," he said, giving her head a kiss as he passed.

The three younger agents came out from behind their desks. As Ziva came up with a dollar in change, Tony asked, "So what's with the Caf-Pow delivery all day, then, cuz if that's not sugar…" He groaned and winced at the slap on the back of the head. "Right, they would be a reward, not contributing to a sugar high." He winced again at another slap. "Much like the head slap. Thank you, Boss."

Abby smiled at her friends. "Awwww, thanks, you guys!" She went around and hugged each of them, pausing in front of Gibbs. He raised an eyebrow, a half smile on his face. Ohhhh, she never could deny her silver fox, she thought, giving him a big hug. "Even though you didn't help out," she joked.

Gibbs chuckled. "You'll thank me when you crash down from your sugar high."

"Never happen, Gibbs, " Abby said with a smirk. She looked at the one dollar bills in her left hand, and the ten in her right. "Ummm…..you all gave me something….who gets the ten?"

Tony, Tim, and Ziva all began talking over each other, each saying why they should get the $10, and it wasn't long before a three-way argument was in full swing.

After a few moments of watching his supposedly highly trained agents acting like 10 year olds, Gibbs let out a piercing whistle. " 'Ey!" The three agents stopped in mid-argument. With a nod, Gibbs turned to Abby, gave her a kiss on the cheek…. And took the $10 bill.

Tim, Tony, and Ziva all began to complain, but a glare from their boss made them return to their desks in a sulk. And Abby smiled and bounced happily out of the bullpen with her change for the vending machine.

A/N III - THE WONKA DAZZLE CANDY BAR IS A FIGMENT OF MY IMAGINATION, IT EXISTS NOWHERE BUT IN THIS STORY. WISH IT DID, THOUGH! JUST A FEW CLARIFICATIONS FOR YOU: 'McVANDERBILT' IS A REFERENCE TO ONE OF THE WEALTHIEST AMERICAN FAMILIES OF THE 1920'S AND '30'S, THE VANDERBILTS. 'McGATES' IS A REFERENCE TO BILL GATES, MULTI-MILLIONAIRE FOUNDER OF …. MICROSOFT? WELL, FOUNDER OF SOMETHING COMPUTER-RELATED.

I'VE DONE MY JOB, NOW YOU DO YOURS, AND HIT THE REVIEW BUTTON! PLEASE! THANK YOU!