Remus stood in front of a window in the very familiar dormitory in the Gryffindor tower at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. It was only two nights before the full moon and he could tell something bad was going to happen. Close to every hair on his body was on end. He sighed and ran a hand through his dark blond hair. Remus hated the time right before the full moon; he didn't always have a good sense of self control and all his senses felt like they were on fire. He glanced over at his bed; Sirius was curled up in it. He had fallen asleep while trying to study with Remus a few hours ago.
When Remus could no longer keep his eyes open he slipped into his own bed. Normally he would have gone over and stolen Sirius' bed, but something compelled him to sleep in his bed. He snuggled in under the blankets and cuddled into Sirius. He breathed in deeply, blushing at the overwhelming and enchanting scent of Sirius; he purred low in his throat and wrapped a protective arm around him. Remus froze, his breath stopping entirely. He shook his head crawled out of bed and left the dormitory to sleep in the common room. It wasn't the first time he had slept in the common room, but that happened when he was studying, reading, or just passed out. He flopped down onto the couch and rolled over so he was facing away from the room. "I know I like Sirius, a lot" He said and paused, "I also know Moony lusts for him half the time." He grumbled. "Why of all animals did he have to be a canine of some sort? Why must he have to be man's best friend?" He whined and buried his face into the pillow.
As the night progressed and the silence became even more powerful his mind slipped to nights similar to this one, his first transformations, Snape and the whomping willow, when he would wake and taste blood in his mouth from when he bit himself while transforming, and the night he had been bitten. When he finally couldn't take it any longer he got up and started walking around, his hands were shaking a bit, and he was biting his tongue to keep from screaming out in fright as old nightmares and memories flooded passed his sight. Remus shook his head vigorously to clear his mind, but that did nothing. He climbed out of his shirt to escape the unusual heat and stuffiness that seemed to be surrounding him; he figured it was because of everything that was playing itself in his head. He licked his rather dry lips and sat in his favorite armchair. He let his head fall to the side and breathed deeply, he was thankful when sleep claimed him and all that he saw was Sirius, the most important person to him.
A few hours later he stirred and seeing how light the common room was guessed some of the early birds would be getting up and coming down soon. He rubbed an eye and looked around; he saw his shirt crumpled up and went to retrieve it. As he pulled away from the chair a scream of pain slipped through his lips and he went to all fours on the floor. Remus groaned and ran a hand along his back, finding the culprit of his pain, it was a scar that had been threatening to rip open again. It had finally ripped open sometime last night and when it dried up and started scabbing it had caused him to become stuck to the chair. Then he heard a set of hurried footsteps racing down the stairs, he prayed it was James so he wouldn't have to deal with Sirius.
"Remus" Called Sirius as he entered the common room, Remus groaned in response and glanced back at Sirius. Of everyone that could have come down those stairs it had to be him, he didn't know why he felt upset, but he was. "Nightmare" He assumed as he walked over to where Remus was still on all fours.
"Suppose you could say that" He said through gritted teeth. He tried not to be angry, he prayed he'd be able to keep a grip on himself, but as every second passed he became more aware he wouldn't be able to do that. Sirius knelt down to him and ran his finger tips ever so slightly over the reopened wound. Remus growled signaling Sirius to go away. He needed Sirius to go away or else something he didn't want happening would happen. Sirius being Sirius ignored the dangerous sound and pulled Remus into a standing position. With every motion Remus hissed, his eyes clamped shut he had to calm down and ignore the pain. "What should I do, I want to be able to help." Sirius cooed gently, concern gracing his voice into Remus' ear. His eyes opened immediately and his head snapped to look at Sirius, he had accomplished on setting Moony off in one of the worst ways. The young werewolf seemed to have daggers in his eyes, and they were all aimed at Sirius.
"You want to be able to help me" Remus said his voice low and dangerous. Sirius stared taking particular notice of the scars along Remus' torso that were so defined in the early morning light. Remus rested a hand on Sirius' cheek gently stroking it, his eyes a dark molten gold that pierced straight through Sirius. "Answer me" He growled a smirk formed over his mouth, canines sharp.
After a long moment Sirius finally said "Always" very quietly. Remus chuckled and pounced on Sirius sending them both to the floor with a loud thud. "Shit" Sirius hissed. He had completely forgotten how strong Remus could be. Remus quickly pinned Sirius' wrists above his head and bent his head down to Sirius' ear and ran his tongue ever so lightly over it. Sirius shuddered under him, but made no attempt to get away.
"Why should I let you?" Remus hissed, "Do you honestly think you can help me entirely? Do you really believe you could fulfill everything I need help with? Are you that full of yourself Sirius Orion Black?" He went on his voice quiet and treacherous. "Hell, would you even be able to stomach, understand everything that is haunting me, screaming inside me? Could you handle whatever truth I unfold to you?" Sirius nodded his response. "What was that Mr. Black?"
"Yes" He iterated, there wasn't much else he could say.
"Are you positive?" He asked. Sirius was beginning to wonder if what Remus was doing was all an act. After all Remus never acted out like this, not to Sirius' knowledge. Remus watched him intently, eyes still aiming daggers at him.
"Enough of the game Remus, what the hell is going on" Sirius said his voice hard.
"A game, you think I'm playing with you?" Moony snapped his voice almost a shriek. He was unnerved and about ready to tear Sirius to shreds. Not only did he never notice how much he needed him, wanted him, but he was only trying to save his ass and make him feel better by reacting a certain way. Remus threw some pressure onto Sirius' wrists and he winced in pain. "You astound me at how careless" he applied even more pressure and Sirius hissed. "And how immature you can be" He spat the words at Sirius. Sirius blinked, unsure of what to say.
"Remus" Sirius said and looked up at his friend. His eyes were dark and cold; his normally soft and kind smile was no where and instead there was a hard line. "I'm sorry, now would you please just talk to me and calm down." Sirius tried to reason his voice hard and irritated. Remus' gaze became even colder and he glared at the dark haired teen below him. He sat up and slapped him clear across the face and ran out of the dormitory. Sirius laid there a red mark on his face, keeping his breathing in check, and listened. Though there was nothing. After what felt like an eternity someone was pulling him to his feet. He came face to face with a pair of large brown eyes covered by glasses.
"Sirius, what happened?" James asked his voice concerned.
"He slapped me" Sirius replied and he felt like he was in a daze. "I wanted to help and take care of him, I should have listened to him" He went on. "James, where is he?"
"I don't know." James said and he was almost glaring at Sirius. "What did you do?" James asked. Sirius wasn't too sure how to answer and James rolled his eyes at him. "Why did Remus scream bloody murder?" Even though Sirius hadn't said it was Remus he assumed it was because of how shocked Sirius was, and the scream was too familiar for it to be someone else.
"He had this huge gash along his back, and it looked like he hadn't slept at all, I wanted to do something. You heard him scream too." Sirius replied defensively. James sighed; he had remembered that Remus had mentioned something about being an emotional time bomb near the full moon sometimes.
"We have to find him before sun down tomorrow." James replied, stressing the word tomorrow. Although when he said 'we' he more or less meant 'I' because he doubted that if Sirius found Remus he would come out safe. Sirius stared at him and then looked over to the window, half expecting to see a glimpse of Remus running somewhere. Yes Remus was running, dashing to somewhere being sure to stay out of sight.
"I have to find him." Sirius said more to himself than to James.
"Sirius, I don't think that would be wise." James told him, but Sirius wasn't listening as he dashed out of the common room. "Sirius must be Sirius" James muttered to himself as he ran after Sirius, hoping be able to find and catch up with him fast.
Sirius looked around some corridors, classrooms, and the astronomy tower before he made his way out into the bright outside. As soon as he was out of the castle he morphed into Padfoot and began sniffing, hoping to pick up Moony's scent. He walked, nose buried in the ground and headed toward the willow tree and there wasn't even a trace. Padfoot let out a bark like howl in despair then he set off toward the forest at a run, he had to find Remus. Within minutes he was at the edge of the forest, he stared at it. The forest looked ominous in the late dawn and he had a bad feeling, Padfoot huffed and made a break into the trees even if it wasn't with Remus, it was still for him. He kept his ears perked and his nose was again in the ground and he quickly picked up on Remus' scent in here, he knew it like he knew his mother's hatred for mudbloods. He went into a run and the further he went the stronger the trail became. Then it stopped and so did Padfoot, he looked around and finally saw up in a tree a very familiar figure in the shadows of the branches. He rolled his eyes and morphed back into Sirius.
Sirius walked over to the tree and began climbing. "Oy, Moony" Sirius called, but he didn't respond. "How did you get up there?" He yelled, still no response. He decided to quit talking and concentrated on climbing in the rather dim light. When he got up to the branch Remus was perched on he noticed Remus was sound asleep, and in an odd position; he was resting with his head on the trunk and slanted so his back didn't touch anything. Sirius sighed and took one of Remus' hands in his own, it was freezing. He frowned at his friend and ruffled his hair, the boy in front of him stirred. "Go away prat" He mumbled.
"Moony, don't be like that." Sirius said as he grasped Remus' hand tighter. Remus wrenched his hand away, sat up straight, and whipped out his wand. Sirius scooted a bit backwards and put up his hands in surrender.
"Sirius" He snarled. "Leave me alone, and if you don't I swear I'll hex you and not even the nurse will be able to fix you up." Remus snapped. Sirius pulled out his wand quickly and glared at Remus.
"If it's a fight you're looking for I will give it to you Moony" He quipped back. "Although I will say this, my intent wasn't to push you or hurt you or whatever the hell I did and if anything you should at least go back to the castle and get yourself patched up, I can smell blood on you." Sirius said, still not dropping his guard.
"The smell is nothing new and you know it." He commented.
"It has never been that strong, what did you do?" He had to keep him talking so he could get his wand away.
"More of the shit you wouldn't be able to handle" Remus replied and raised his wand a bit higher.
"It isn't fair of you to go through this alone. James, Peter, and I became animagi so you wouldn't go through full moons alone." Sirius went on. "Come on Remus" He said stretching out his free hand and the boy growled, and placed his wand in his pocket. "Will you come back with me to the castle?" He asked hesitantly, hand still stretched out.
"Sirius" He said quietly, almost as a warning, and his voice was wavering slightly. Sirius could tell Remus was finally going to be his normal logical self. Then tears started falling down his face. "Sirius" He whined.
"I'm here" He said and lowered his wand.
"You can't help; it's me and it's all my fault." Remus said hands going to his face.
"Remus, even if I can't help don't expect me to stand back and let this kind of stuff go on." Sirius said and ran his hand down Remus' arm which had some bruises on it.
"I can't do anything about it either!" Remus replied his voice higher than normal. "Sirius, I can't do anything about the wolf." He panted, trying to get a hold of himself. "Just get the hell out of here" He practically shrieked. His eyes fading back to the cold hard ones that had faced Sirius only hours previous.
"Never" Remus lunged at Sirius who threw his wand and caught Remus by a hand and by a wrist. Remus' eyes narrowed and pushed against Sirius and Sirius pushed back in reaction.
"Why won't you listen to me you damned dog?" Moony snarled.
"Because you aren't my owner wolf" Sirius said, somewhat enraged.
"Then who is your owner or are you an abandoned mutt?" He asked that same wicked smirk was on his face.
"Remus" He replied a small grin on his face. Moony's smirk fell and his eyes went blank, the teenager was in pure and utter confusion. Sirius sighed contently and scooted forward on the branch and moved his hands so they each held one of Remus' hands
"Are you serious?" Came Remus' soft and scared voice and Sirius saw his amber eyes come into focus.
"Yeah" Sirius replied, feeling that right now was not the best time to be making any puns.
"I'm so sorry" He said quickly and squeezed Sirius' hands.
"You didn't hurt me" Sirius assured him. "Although being called a mutt and a damned dog was kind of offending." He told him. Remus laughed slightly.
"I can't say I didn't mean it, but those aren't the only things I think about you." Remus confided and looked down.
"Ouch" Sirius said playfully. "So what are some of the other things you think about me?" Sirius asked, trying to make things more pleasant. Remus smirked at him and Sirius narrowed his eyes.
"I don't think you would appreciate to hear." He replied. Sirius rolled his eyes.
"I just know how to tick you off don't I?" Sirius asked an eyebrow rose.
"Moony" Remus corrected.
"The difference" Sirius wondered, he needed to be able to tell which was which; he had some trouble figuring it out.
"Moony is more forward and devious, much more malicious. He can be calm, but he is really cocky, slightly why you and him don't get along." Remus explained. "I mean we are the same, I have all those qualities, he just brings them out a lot." He went on and fidgeted.
"Any other reason why he - or you - that isn't - aren't fond of me?" Sirius asked confused on how to address everything.
"A secret"
"Secret" Remus nodded. "How about you let me in on this secret and I won't do something stupid." Sirius offered.
"How about you drop it" Remus snapped and tried to yank his hands away. Once again Sirius rolled his eyes and kept a tight hold on Remus' hands.
"I'll drop it" He said, not wanting to start something else with Moony. "Now let's get down." Remus nodded, afraid to open his mouth. "Hey, can you get my wand?" Sirius asked and grinned at Remus. Remus sighed and pulled out his wand.
"Accio Sirius' wand" He said clearly and strongly and Sirius' wand shot into his hand. He handed Sirius his wand and began descending the tree. "How did you ever let me get up here?" Remus called out to Sirius. He winced at the slight pain of having to use certain parts of his back to climb down.
"Sorry, your slap kind of surprised me and made my mind quit functioning." Sirius yelled down. Remus chuckled and grinned up at Sirius. They climbed the rest of the way down in silence.
"I really am sorry Sirius." Remus said. Sirius shrugged and threw an arm around Remus' shoulders, he felt clammy. "We should get you a shirt before we leave the forest." Sirius told Remus and dragged him close to his side. Remus hit his forehead.
"I can't go into the school like this" He said. "I would summon a shirt, but who knows what people would think if they saw a shirt flying through the halls of Hogwarts. What am I going to do? I mean, what will people do when they see me?" He continued panicking.
"Slow down Remus, slow down." Sirius told him and spun the boy so he was right in front of him. "Remus, I'm not letting you enter the castle without a shirt. Merlin knows what would happen if people saw all your scars, bruises, and the new scabs you have all over you." Sirius explained to him. Sirius took another glance at Remus and nodded. "Let me patch you up real quick, we don't want anything opening again anytime soon." Remus' eyes almost popped out of his head at the suggestion. "Come on, you know I'm a really good student even if I do fool around a lot. Not to mention if you put a shirt on for the day and you start bleeding again you'll get stuck to the shirt and end up causing yourself more pain." Remus frowned at him. Sirius smiled hopefully at Remus who sighed. "Thank you" Sirius said childishly and pulled out his wand. Remus felt a slight tingly feeling all over his body, followed by a wave of heat, he winced, and then there wasn't anything. He looked over as much of his body as he could; all of the scabs were now scars and the bruises light, but not completely gone.
"Thanks" Remus muttered. "What are we going to do about getting me a shirt?" Remus asked his voice quiet and shy. Sirius thought for a few moments.
"We have a few options. First we can head over to the quidditch pitch and then to the locker room from there and get a shirt out of my locker or James' locker. Second I could turn into Padfoot race across the grounds, turn back to Sirius before I enter Hogwarts then go in and fetch you a shirt and bring it back to you. Third I could give you my shirt and then trust that you'll bring me one back." Sirius said triumphant. "Like any of those ideas?"
"They all sound like they would work. Although the quidditch one sounds like our best bet." Remus decided. "If anyone saw one of us walking around with a random shirt, how would we explain that? Not to mention James and Peter would begin asking Merlin knows how many questions about what happened, where the other person was, and on and on and on." Remus explained. Sirius nodded and the two set out for the edge of the forest and then to the pitch.
"What did you do anyway to get yourself all scuffed up?" Sirius asked as they walked over to the pitch.
"I tried getting to the shrieking shack, took the worst path possible through the forbidden forest, and then hexed myself for various reasons." Remus replied and sighed. He honestly knew there was nothing he could hide from Sirius, especially not now and after hat had happened earlier.
When the pair entered the locker room Remus wrinkled his nose and Sirius chuckled. "Sorry about the smell Moony, but it is a locker room. Many the sweaty teen boy has entered this place, and even with all the cleaning it is hard to eradicate all the odors." Sirius explained and grinned form ear to ear. Remus rolled his eyes and buried his nose into Sirius shoulder. "This way" Sirius said as he walked with Remus stuck to him over to his locker and pulled out a plain black tee shirt. He then led them out of the room and Remus quickly tore his nose away and took in a big breath of the fresh air.
"I am never going in there again!" He pretty much yelled. Sirius laughed and tossed the shirt at Remus. Remus caught it but dropped it quickly. "It smells like the locker room." He protested. Sirius rolled his eyes and started taking off his shirt. "What are you doing?" Remus asked rather stunned, but couldn't look away as Sirius slipped the shirt off of his smoothly toned chest. He could hear his heart pounding in his ears and felt the blood rush to his face.
"You don't seem to mind the smell of this shirt Moony, so wear it." Sirius said quietly, observing very closely the effect he was having on his friend. Remus extended a shaky hand for the shirt, but Sirius walked behind him and slipped it onto him.
"You d-d-don't have to do that S-Sirius." Remus tried to protest, although Sirius was already buttoning up the shirt. "Sirius" Remus said. "Put your shirt on." He begged.
"Anything for you Moony" Sirius said and grabbed his shirt and pulled it on.
"You might want to rethink that statement." Remus said and glanced over at Sirius.
"What if I don't?" He inquired, curiosity gaining the better of him.
"Then you'll be doing some very" Remus replied and stuck his tongue out a bit, trying to find the right words. "You will be doing some very interesting things." He purred as thoughts of some of those things slipped into his mind.
"Like what?" Sirius prodded. He just had to know now.
"You don't want to know"
"Try me" Sirius whispered into Remus' ear. Remus chuckled and turned Sirius to face him. Sirius was face to face again with those molten gold eyes, though this time instead of being filled with anger they had a spark of happiness in them. He wanted to look away, but they had reeled him in and he was more aware of Remus than he'd ever been before. Every thought and dream he had ever had about the teen in front of him surfaced to his mind. All the things you aren't suppose to do with your friends, all the forbidden passions he felt for Remus swelled in him. Before he could make sense of what he was doing he had wrapped his arms around Remus' waist, picked him up and crashed their mouths together. He heard a slight growl come from the back of Remus' throat as he ran his tongue delicately over the smaller boy's bottom lip, he could feel his new lover's hands tangle into his messy hair as he opened his mouth letting Sirius slip his tongue into his mouth. The two tongues battled with each other, Sirius won the battle and explored every part of Remus' mouth. Sirius finally pulled back and heard Moony growl in protest but silenced it quickly as he set to work on nipping at Remus' throat. Remus gasped at the sudden action and let his head fall back letting Sirius have full reign on his neck. His eyes fell shut, reveling in the feeling of Sirius' mouth doing sinful things to his throat and couldn't suppress the groan that slipped through his lips and he heard Sirius chuckle. Remus looked down and kissed Sirius hungrily, for there were no more worries, there was no fear, there wasn't anything, it was only them. As they pulled away, Remus' chest rose and fell with his heavy breathing and Sirius on the verge of laughing, Remus could tell.
"Watch it" Remus breathed, but he didn't mean it at all. This moment was something he had been wanting since at least when he hit puberty.
"Shut up Remus" Sirius told him and set him back on the ground. Remus raised an eyebrow, knowing what Sirius wanted to do to him all to well, and then his hands shot up under Sirius' shirt. Sirius gasped at the sudden contact and was loving how softly Remus' hands ran across his stomach up to his chest drawing designs of all sorts and then Remus rose up onto his toes and grabbed Sirius' earlobe in his teeth and he moaned. Then he grabbed Remus' wrists to get him to stop -before he completely lost it- and he did. Remus let go of Sirius' ear and went back to standing on his feet normally. "Moony, I hope you know what you're asking for." Sirius whispered to him. Moony smirked at him; his dark golden eye's shining. "Remus" He paused, he knew Remus had to know before he let himself be engulfed and controlled by lust. "I love you" He told him. At the words Remus' eyes became considerably lighter, a blush painted itself onto his cheeks, and the smirk melted into a smile.
"You love me?" He asked and Sirius nodded. Remus rose up slightly and kissed Sirius sweetly. "I love you too" He whispered. Sirius smiled down at him and Remus still couldn't suppress the blush as he stared at Sirius' stormy blue eyes that shone in the morning sun. Sirius smiled and once again picked Remus up by the waist and this time he spun him around, Remus laughed and latched his arms around Sirius' neck. Sirius stopped and kissed Remus' cheek and put butterfly kisses across his cheek to the corner of his mouth and then captured his mouth in a more passionate kiss. The two were wrenched back to reality by a squawk and an odd gagging noise. They looked over and saw James very pale and wide eyed. Remus blushed and looked down and Sirius grinned sheepishly. Sirius set Remus back onto the field and walked over to James nonchalantly and Remus shuffled over keeping his eyes down.
"Looks like you did more than just find Remus" James said as he glared at the two of them. Remus looked up quickly and looked scared as hell.
"How did you find us?" Sirius asked curiously.
"After a while I figured you weren't in the castle anymore so I headed for the grounds" James replied and turned his attention to Remus. "Anything you have to say for yourself?" James asked, very shocked. Remus looked as if he was about to cry now. First he was a werewolf, then he was a gay werewolf, now he was a gay werewolf who was just snogging Sirius, and to top it off willing to be fucked senseless by aforementioned best friend.
"I'm sorry" He almost whimpered. James blinked at Remus. "Just, I love him and- and Moony." Remus stopped and looked down and James continued to stare. Remus could only guess at what was going through James' head, disgust, anger, irritation, any or all of the above and Remus didn't like any of them. Sirius whacked James up side the back of the head, intertwined his other hand with Remus' pulled it up, and kissed the back of Remus' hand.
"Deal with it" Sirius said and dragged Remus off and around James. The two began heading toward Hogwarts and Remus looked over at Sirius. "James is great, but he can be such a git." Sirius said agitated.
"You can be too" Remus defended James. Sirius might have been his best friend, but he certainly confided in James, a lot.
"You can be way too nice sometimes." Sirius explained and looked over at Remus. "Listen everything I said earlier, did earlier, I meant all of it. Now if James decides to gawk and be an idiot about all of this between us then he can go and get screwed by a Slytherin for all I care." Sirius said.
"You don't mean that" Remus said, his eyes wide.
"I know, but still it is kind of irritating." Sirius went on.
"Sirius James is your right hand man and you are James' right hand man" Remus explained and Sirius was listening. "Then we are, well two close friends who like each other more than they should." He paused making sure Sirius wasn't upset and he didn't appear to be. "Just promise you won't let any of this ruin the marauders." Remus said hopefully and watched Sirius closely. His eyes shut, they stopped, and he nodded.
"Why are you always right?" Sirius said in defeat and looked behind him to see James trailing about twenty feet back. "Oy Prongs" Sirius called and motioned. "Get up here!" He yelled and James walked up to them rather slowly.
"What?" He stated solemnly.
"Are you going to be able to stomach this?" Sirius asked as again he held up his and Remus' intertwined hands. James stared at the hands for a minute and nodded.
"Just don't snog around me and I swear if I hear you screwing Remus I'm gonna curse you to America and back." James told them and Remus was bright red.
"I like how you aren't going to do anything to Remus, or would it be Moony?" Sirius asked and looked at Remus.
"It could be either." He murmured and kicked at nothing in particular. James laughed.
"Yeah I will do something; I'll silence him for the whole week." Remus squeaked and they both laughed at him. James threw an arm over Sirius shoulder, "Let's go get breakfast." He announced and the three walked toward Hogwarts grinning.
