Title: A Unexpected Letter
Summary: Dudley recieves a rather unexpected letter in the summer holidays after first year. What happens? What house is Dudley sorted into? How do Vernon, Marge and Petunia react?Chapter: 1
Length: 688 words.

It was still the first week of Harry's school holidays from his wizarding school, Hogwarts school for witchcraft and wizardry, and he already couldn't wait to go back. Summer with the Dursleys was just as dull and awful as normal, probably more so because he had spent the whole year away from them. He could only hope that Ron's mother agreed to let him stay at their house for a few weeks, like Ron said that she would.

Looking up from his meagre breakfast as he realized it might be a good idea to listen to Uncle Vernon's newest lecture. It seemed that again, Uncle Vernon was complaining about Hedwig. Would he ever learn that it would be fine if she was just allowed to fly around?

Next thing he knew, he was being yelled at again. Who knew one little word could be taken so badly, the Dursleys really took the word magic out of context.

"I WILL NOT TOLERATE YOUR ABNORMALITY UNDER THIS ROOF!"

"All right," replied Harry, hoping Uncle Vernon wouldn't find it rude. He didn't want any more ammunition against him. All of his school things including his broom, wand and robes had been locked under the stairs as soon as they arrived back from the station, and he didn't know if it could get any worse.

Today was his twelfth birthday. It wasn't a great shock to find out that the Dursleys weren't planning anything, just like his previous birthdays. Indeed, today was a day that the Dursleys were planning something they found very important, and it wasn't Harry's birthday. They were hosting an important dinner party for Uncle Vernon's company, Grunnings, which sold drills. It was hoped that the rich builder and his wife that were coming tonight would give Uncle Vernon a huge order, or as he said, 'the biggest deal of my life,'

They were currently having a run through, this visit really had been totally planned.

"We should all be in position at eight 'o' clock," said Uncle Vernon. "Petunia, you will be -?"

"In the lounge," said Aunt Petunia promptly, "waiting to welcome them graciously to our home."

"Good, good. And Dudley?"

"I'll be waiting to open the door," Dudley put on a foul, simpering smile. "May I take your coats, Mr and Mrs Mason?"

"They'll love him!" cried Aunt Petunia rapturously.

"Excellent, Dudley," said Uncle Vernon. Then he rounded on Harry. "And you?"

"I'll be in my bedroom making no noise and pretending I'm not there," said Harry tonelessly.

"Exactly," said Uncle Vernon nastily. "I will lead them into the lounge, introduce you, Petunia, and pour them drinks. At eight fifteen-"

"I'll announce dinner," said Aunt Petunia.

"And Dudley, you'll say-"

"May I take you through to the dining room, Mrs Mason?" said Dudley, offering his fat arm to an invisible woman.

"My perfect little gentleman!" sniffed Aunt Petunia.

"And-" Uncle Vernon stopped glaring at Harry, and turned his gaze to Aunt Petunia who was standing with a very weird expression on her face, and staring at the kitchen window.

"What is it Petunia?" snapped Uncle Vernon, he didn't have time for this. The Masons would be here in only a few hours, he had to go over the plans one last time. He turned around to look at the kitchen himself, and then saw what had her looking so shocked, he only managed a grunt, as what was there had managed to turn him speechless as well.

Wordlessly, Aunt Petunia walked over to the kitchen window and pulled the latch, allowing the owl that had been hovering there to enter. It wasn't just any owl though. The owl had a letter tied to its leg which bore the Hogwarts crest, and it was addressed to - Mr Dudley Dursley, The Largest Bedroom, 4 Privet Drive, Surrey…

A/N: Some of the text was copied directly from Chamber of Secrets, just to set the scene, it should be underlined if it was. I know that this isn't the exact way things happened in the books, but I thought it might be more effective this way. Please review (=