I felt this before
Now I feel it again
The locker room was empty except for her; the others had long since departed into the night, off to have some semblance of a life. Her arms were wrapped around her body, holding herself as she cried. He used to hold her like that when she broke down but as of today, that wouldn't be happening much or if all anymore. His employment with the company was over after years of spectacular, dangerous matches and several discussions about his lack of motivation, interest and passion for the job he once held so much love for. She saw it coming, everyone on the roster had because he made no secret about his growing unhappiness with the job.
No matter how hard I try
This feeling wont end
She didn't blame him for walking away honestly. He had done everything asked of him but was constantly held down by the backstage politics or the perception that his lack of mic skills meant that he couldn't be world champion. Plus, he was still so young and had so many dreams left that he wanted to pursue. But she always believed that when he made the decision to leave, he'd tell her about it face to face. Not let her find out about it from others, like she unfortunately had.
So I pretend you're here by my side
Tonight on this lonely ride
It hurt that someone she loved so deeply could keep something like that from her. That he didn't call or give her any indication that it would be happening was jarring. The lack of action caused a sliver of doubt crept into her mind about their relationship. Maybe they really couldn't talk about anything and everything after all like she thought they could. Perhaps the perfect love she seemed to find in him was nothing more than wishful thinking, a delusion by a woman under his charismatic spell.
I keep telling myself that
Reality was slapping her in the face, hard, refusing to be ignored any longer. They lived in two different countries and no longer had their job to tie them together. There was only two days a week when she wasn't on the road and they were usually spent at her house in Toronto. He detested flying and it was too far for him to drive back and forth every week just to see her for a day. So what did that mean for their relationship?
Life goes on while you're miles away
And I need you
It couldn't be over. She didn't want it to be. Before him, her life had been so boring, so colorless, and utterly vanilla. It was filled with nothing but work and training, utterly mundane and normal. When he walked into it everything became better, more fulfilling and she felt more alive than ever before. Within a week, she knew that he was the one for her and that there'd never be anyone else.
Time goes on as night steals the day
There's nothing I can do
But what if it was over and done with this announcement? She couldn't imagine the idea of her life without him. Didn't want to because she knew that it wouldn't be worth living. There was no way she could go back to that empty, hollow, vacant existence after experiencing true passion and living with him. Trying to replicate the happiness and excitement with anyone else would only make her sad, pathetic and bitter about the fact that no one could live up to him.
You heal up my wounds
I tasted your tears
A sob left her mouth as more tears spilled down her face and she buried her face in her hands. She needed him there with her, to reassure her. To tell her that everything was going to be all right. That they'd somehow find a way to survive this and make their relationship work no matter what. Because when he said it, she believed him but by herself, she didn't see how they possibly could.
You spilled out your heart
So I let out my fears
They were so different from each other. Complete opposites that left everyone baffled but it worked for them. She was the logical, rational one who only understood the black and white areas and hardly ever took a risk. He was the dreamer, the abstract one who saw the shades of gray in life and never saw a risk he wouldn't take. Together, they were whole and the idea of letting go of him terrified her.
But one fear that I kept to myself
was how I prayed that you'd love no one else
He made her feel like more than just a pretty face, a sex kitten to be bedded. With him she was cherished, loved, respected and protected. Her opinions were never overlooked or ignored just because she was blonde and busty. Their connection was powerful, magnetic and intense, not to be ignored or denied. They got each other on a level that no one else did, being able to feel the other's presence someplace without seeing or speaking to them.
Like you're saying you love me
His love had changed her for the better, opened her up to the fact that fate moved in ways you didn't understand. Gone was the girl who didn't have time to be in someone else's life and in her place was a woman who loved sharing her life with that incredible man. To be without him would be the cruelest thing fate could throw at her. A blow she wouldn't overcome. She'd live with the constant what ifs and whys for the rest of her life, afraid to know what could have been if that cruel twist hadn't been enacted.
If you only knew how much I miss you
She ran her hands through her hair, pushing the errant locks away from her face. Her tears fell like rain and splashed down on her jeans. But she didn't care about anything at that moment. The mere notion of being without him, of not having hold of his heart was too painful, too incomprehensible to fathom. It robbed her of her ability to breath and her sobs turned to desperate gasps.
When my mind plays these tricks on me
It shows me things I don't want to see
The door to the locker room swung open but she didn't look up. She didn't want to see anyone, let alone explain to a janitor or stage manager why she was hysterical. Hoping that they'd just go away, she was disappointed when their footsteps drew closer to her. Whoever it was said nothing but sat down beside her on the bench. Hands gently cupped her shoulders and comfortingly massaged them.
That's why I tell myself
I keep telling myself
She froze at the touch but not because she was scared. The caress felt so familiar, so right and natural. But the hands massaging her shoulders couldn't belong to who she thought they did. He was miles away from there, sitting at home probably writing a song or poem, oblivious to the turmoil him leaving the company had caused her. So unless she managed to cry herself to sleep and this was just a horrible dream, it couldn't be him and that knowledge only made her cry harder.
Just take another piece of me
"Don't you cry darlin'," The soft southern drawl implored her and shock ripped through her body, which trembled. "My career here may be over but sweetheart, you and I are far from finished."
Life goes on while you're miles away
And I need you
"Jeff?" She gasped, turning around. His gorgeous face, hypnotic green eyes and lush, full lips greeted her. Her hand flew to her mouth and the tears that she'd been shedding turned from despair to joy. He took her in his arms and she buried her face in his chest, breathing in the intoxicating smell of his cologne. "Baby, what are you doing here? I-I-I didn't thinkā¦"
Time goes on as night steals the day
There's nothing I can do
"I flew out this morning so I could tell you the news in person. But the damn plane had mechanical issues and I couldn't get a seat on a different flight until late this afternoon." He stroked her hair, his chin resting on the top of her head. "I love you darlin' and we're going to make it through this, together."
Trish sniffled but felt a smile tugging at her lips as she held onto him. Those were the words she had to hear. The ones she had been dying to hear ever since she heard the horrible news. They brought her the comfort she craved and the assurance she needed to believe that their love story wasn't going to end without the greatest chapters ever being written.
And this last mile I travel with you
