Title: Of Follicles and Natural Selection
Oneshot:
Author: Caalan
Genre: Flirtatious Spam
Pairing: Spam
Rating: PG - So very Mrs. Benson-PG
Summary: Magical hair must procreate. So I was perusing scientifical things and discovered that Herbert Spencer, an English philosopher, is best known for coining the phrase "survival of the fittest" in describing Darwin's theory On the Origin of Species. This is also known as Spencerism. Fate much? Methinks yes!
They are waiting for Carly to get out of the shower so they can go to Inside Out Burger. How anyone can care about their hygiene before going to a place that puts the grease on the outside is just absurd.
He's staring at her. She can feel it.
"Our kids would have magical hair."
She looks over at him. They are bookends on the sofa, both curved in identical, long, lean slouches. His eyes are roving over her hair as if he's playing one of those maze games trying to follow a curl from start to finish. Responding looks optional. Oh, what the hell, "Really."
"Yes." His gaze starts along another tendril. His focus seems intense.
"Well, I don't actually think about having kids." Just the fact that she was included in his train of thought, both pleases her and weirds her out. She looks straight ahead.
"No?"
"No."
"You know…you'd get to eat for two." Okay, yes, interest now piqued. He knows it. She glances over and he looks as if he's found the key to her acquiescence. No need for that.
"I already do."
"Point taken." He pauses, pondering… "You'd get to eat anything you want without anyone even questioning the craving."
"Phhssst. Like I care if people are frightened by my eating habits." She begins to twirl a wisp of hair, just to see if his eyes follow. They do.
"Touche." The pause is longer this time. When she peeks at him, she sees his eyebrows dipped low in conference, thinking of a decent reason, but his tone is more confident when he answers. "People will actually bend over backwards to ensure that you eat."
"Really?"
"Yes."
"To get me food."
"Yes."
"Any food I want."
"Yes. Any time you want."
"This pleases me." The grin is impossible to withhold.
"I thought it might." His answering grin is very smug.
"I'm not having your babies."
"I thought not." He glances longingly at her hair and sighs.
"You're still taking me to Inside Out Burger."
"Yes, dear."
A/N: Spencer will be so sad if you do not review. You know how he was in iHeart Art after Joiner bummed his joy? Yeah…that sad.
