Salvation
There comes a time in your life when you lose hope. You forget the things that once made you happy and you plunge head first into a dark void that only sucks you deeper into a spiral of never-ending darkness. There comes a time in your life when reality slaps you in the face and you realize nothing is ever quite beautiful as it once was.
Salvation Salvation
I walked out into the bright early morning light and groaned. "Damnit." I muttered, cringing as I tasted last night's beer fest glued to my lips. I heaved a heavy sigh and placed one foot in front of the other as I walked out of the house, down the path, and onto the sidewalk.
I sighed heavily and leaned on the white picket fence as I tried to make my head stop spinning. I stared down at my feet, noting that one of my black socks was higher than the other and my strappy heels were messily tied.
What happened last night?
I vaguely remembered going to a party with my boyfriend and drinking but that was it.
As far as I know anyways.
I breathed deeply, ignoring the pain in my stomach and stared up at the bright blue sky shinning above.
My name is Sakura Haruno.
I am seventeen years old.
And today, is the day that I died.
"Sakura? Is that you?" I turned my head to the side to see my best friend walking towards me.
"Hey Naruto." I sent him a crooked smile.
I really didn't have the heart to smile, it actually felt sort of weird on my face.
His name is Naruto Uzumaki, the best friend anyone can ask for. Today he was wearing a simple black muscle tee and cargo shorts paired with his black and orange Vans. "What happened to you?" He ran up to me and started fixing my hair and clothing.
It was then that I realized I really must have looked like shit. My dark blue camisole was ripped, my hoodie was half off my shoulder, and my black shorts were stained with questionable marks of various colors.
"Sakura what the hell happened last night?" Naruto grabbed my jaw and stared into my eyes.
Then I started to cry, I just broke down into a sobbing mess.
My heart hurt; throbbing in my chest.
My head was pounding.
My eyes stung.
And I didn't know why but I just felt regret.
"It's okay Sakura." He pulled me close and rubbed soothing circles onto my back. "I'm right here...but can you walk?" His low, deep voice whispered in my ear. "My apartment's not too far. Let's go there okay?"
Salvation Salvation
Naruto lived in a huge apartment complex; complete with his own private pool, hot tub, and gym. See, he's a young investor. He's an absolute genius when it comes to the stock market and, he's a writer. He interned and studied under one of the most famous authors; Jiraiya.
Anyways he lives here while I live…not here.
I'm a secretary for a small business so I don't exactly make as much as he does to be able to afford a place like this but I live well enough. I live a few streets down from here; in another apartment complex. A cheaper one.
"Here we are." He mumbled as he stuck his key in the door and turned. "Come on in, I'll make some tea."
I nodded and walked in and kicked off my shoes and settled down on the floor under his komatsu table. Naruto is a person that believes in the necessary; meaning his place isn't cluttered. He had one couch, one loveseat, one komatsu table, a coffee table, a simple dining room set, and curtains. He had one lamp in the living room and one, flat screen television. Enough to host but not enough to brag.
"Here we go." He called as he brought over a try filled with one steaming tea pot, two mugs, and a tissue box.
As I watched him pour the tea, my chest began to hurt again and I couldn't stop the tears from falling, the more I gasped the more they fell.
"Oh Sakura…" He pushed my mug towards me and took my hand. "Drink the tea, it should help."
I sniffed and took the mug and downed half of it and stopped crying as soon as the warm liquid poured down my aching throat and settled into my upset stomach.
It soothed me.
It was like being wrapped in my mother's warm arms again where nothing could hurt me.
"So come on tell me what happened last night." I looked up into Naruto's face.
He was worried.
It was in his eyes.
His face.
His voice.
I hung my head as he sat in front of me on the other side of the table.
Then I began to speak.
"I…I went to a party with Sasuke last night…"
"Okay."
"…We drank."
"Yup."
"…"
"Then?" He coaxed.
I shrugged. "I remember him getting me a vodka martini…and that was it…"
"What do you mean?"
"I can't remember after that…but…"
He reached across the small space and took my hand again. "But what Sakura?"
The hot tears began streaming down my face again.
But I had to tell him.
He was the only one that would understand.
"But I awoke this morning…in that house…"
"Kiba's house." He filled in.
It was Kiba's?
Oh dear God in heaven what happened last night?
I breathed deeply and shut my eyes.
"I think I had…sex last night." I bit my lip after I said it as though it would trap all the horrible thoughts that spiraled through my head.
It was silent.
Naruto still had his hand on top of mine but his breathing increased.
He was pissed.
With me? I hoped not. I couldn't take it if he was mad at me. It was bad enough that-
"You think you had sex Sakura or you know you did?" His deep, raspy voice was laced in venom.
My whole body began to shake.
"I think…I…it hurts Naruto…it hurts so much…" I fell face first on the table and cried.
He knew what I meant.
I know he did.
I felt him move, stand up and walk away. He returned seconds later by my side and his warm hand was on my back, my neck and in my hair. Rubbing soothing circles as he dialed a number on his phone.
"Yeah hello Granny." I heard him speak; his voice was low but solid. Full of authority and respect. "I was wondering, do you have time to see a patient today? You see a friend of mine…something happened and I would appreciate it if you would see her today."
A few seconds passed before he spoke again.
"When? Alright…well is there any way you can tell if she's pregnant? Last night. Yeah I know it's too soon but…three weeks?! No…no we can't wait that long…it doesn't matter…I know you Granny you have something up your sleeve. Please just do it? For me?"
He paused for a few minutes, listing to her then he answered.
"Thanks Granny. I appreciate this. We'll be there. Five O'clock." With that he hung up and patted my back. "Okay Tsunade will see you in a few weeks. I'll take you alright?"
I nodded stiffly.
"It's about lunchtime now so go take a shower, I'll make some lunch and then we'll talk okay?"
I breathed deeply then picked myself up. "If I wasn't so disgusting right now I'd hug you." I mumbled then stumbled off in the direction of his bathroom.
"I'll leave you some clothes on the bed." He called after me as I disappeared down the hall.
Salvation Salvation
I took a long, hot shower to wash away all the sticky substances from last night that was caked onto my skin. I cleaned my hair-where I found some pieces of chips stuck in and scrubbed my skin till I was baby pink.
I just washed away all my worries, cares and fears.
When I got out and went to the guest bedroom-which was basically my room since I was almost always over here-I found some clothes; my favorite Slipknot shirt, old hot pink shorts that I forgot about, and his old worn AFI hoodie.
A small smile crept onto my face as I towel dried my hair and slipped into familiar the clothing.
Salvation Salvation
The ride to the doctor's was nerve-wracking.
My body felt heavy and light at the same time.
I was freezing but burning up.
My face was clammy and my pink hair stuck to my scalp.
It hurt to breath, my chest kept hurting.
"It'll be okay." Naruto spoke, reaching one hand over to me as he drove with the other. "I'm right here." He ran his calloused fingers down the side of my cheek and tucked a strand of my hair behind one ear. "Stop worrying." He'd been trying to console me over the last few weeks but nothing worked, my nerves were absolutely shot from the constant worry and the thought of seeing a doctor now made it even worse.
"How can I?" I pulled the sleeves of my jacket over my hands. If it weren't for him I'm not even sure I'd be dressed right now. In all honesty he was my rock; he's been there for as long as I can remember. My mother and father died years ago in a freak accident, back then we use to live in an apartment building. Apparently the foundation was botched and the building collapsed after an aftershock of a mild earthquake happened on one of the far off islands happened.
They died in the building along with a few others.
I was lucky to survive.
And it was all thanks to Naruto. He saved me. He saved my life.
We were walking into the building after going for ice-cream, it started shaking, rumbling. We were in the foyer when the ceiling started to fall apart.
Imagine; two seven year olds alone in a crumbling building.
He saved me.
He pulled me out the front door and into the open yard seconds before the building collapsed into rubble.
I heard the screams of the people inside.
I heard their pain.
I saw people die that day.
I saw the blood splatter onto the courtyard, dying the green grass red.
I saw them crushed to death when the concrete blocks fell from above.
I'll never forget that day.
Salvation Salvation
The doctor was an old time friend of Naruto's. She was a demanding woman, simple as that. She was tall, with long blonde hair pulled into two and a big chest. "Your name is Sakura Haruno?" She asked, filling out a form in front of me.
"Yes." I sat on the examination table while Naruto sat on one of the chairs.
"And you are seventeen years old?"
"Yes." My heart was racing as I answered the questions. I was almost positive they could hear my heart beat.
"Well Sakura from the experimental tests that the nurse took earlier." She sighed, closed the pen she was writing with and leaned back, one elbow on the counter. "You are indeed, pregnant."
I couldn't believe my ears.
I was pregnant?
No way.
Not possible.
Yet it was.
I was pregnant.
There was a little person growing inside me.
I was its mother.
I sniffed back the tears burning my eyes.
"Sakura? You okay?" Naruto's familiar voice entered my brain.
My throat closed up.
I was pregnant.
"Sakura are you okay?" The doctor asked her voice strong. Demanding. Solid.
I nodded stiffly.
"I know this must come as a shock to you but this is what happens when you have unprotected sex."
"She was raped! Date raped!" Naruto shot back in my defense.
I hung my head.
Sasuke raped me.
That's right.
I trusted him and he raped me.
Now I'm pregnant with his baby.
No.
No that's not right.
"No." I mumbled. I wasn't raped.
Sasuke is my boyfriend.
I heard him stand up and grab my hand that was lying limp in my lap. "Sakura this is not your fault okay." His rough, calloused fingers moved over my immobile palm. "This is not your fault. Yeah he got you pregnant but you don't have to-you can get an abortion."
"No she can't." Tsunade cut in.
Awkward silence.
I mean really awkward.
No one spoke.
"What do you mean she can't?" Naruto asked softly. "If it's a matter of money I'll pay."
That made my heart skip a beat. He was too generous when it concerned me.
Tsunade shook her head. "That's not it." She sighed and pulled the white lab that hung loose around her frame close. "That baby is too far along for my office to handle. Legally we can't abort it."
My heart fell.
This was too much.
"We have a few options here. I can refer to a friend of mine but honestly he will refuse you because you are so young and neither the baby's father nor your parents or guardian are present. The only reason I'm even seeing you is because of Naruto." She nodded at Naruto. "You can have the baby. You can have the baby and give it up for adoption. Or you can have the baby and give it to the father."
"Who's the father?" Naruto interjected as though he didn't know.
As though we all didn't know.
Tsunade closed her eyes momentarily then pulled out a sheet of paper. "Sasuke Uchiha. Sound familiar?"
"My boyfriend." I muttered.
Just then a soft knock was heard. "Come in."
The door opened to reveal a young woman with short, inky black hair. She wore a simple black, a-line skirt that stopped just before her knees paired with black kimono top and short black heels. "Lady Tsunade?" She spoke, leaning in and holding out a folder. "The lab results are back."
"Thank you Shizune." Tsunade took the folder and began flipping through.
Silence fell around us.
Naruto silently brooded; he worked his jaw, breathing deeply to control his anger.
"Good news." She spoke, closing the folder. "You are infection free."
"That's good." Naruto spoke quickly and stiffly patted my knee. "What a relief."
"Yeah." I agreed and grabbed his hand. "I'm sorry."
His baby blue eyes darted down to me. "For what?"
"For getting pregnant."
He avoided my eyes as he crossed his arms. "It's okay. Let's go tell Sasuke he's a father."
Salvation Salvation
"Sasuke." I stood in front of him, in his apartment, in the kitchen.
He raised a slim eyebrow at me and gently set his cup of coffee down on the table. "What? Aren't you two going to sit down?"
Naruto placed a hand on my shoulder and gently squeezed.
"Sasuke I need to tell you something." I closed my eyes and listened to Naruto's soothing breathing beside me.
"What is it?"
"I…I'm pregnant."
Awkward silence.
"Congratulations?" He spoke casually, standing up, one hand on the table.
"…Excuse me?" I asked, shocked.
"Congratulations." He stated again and picked up his coffee and sipped it. "This is a good thing isn't it? It'll bring us closer together." He sent me one of his heart throbbing smiles.
It was then Naruto stepped forward, one hand shoved into his pant pocket. "So you're accepting it? The responsibility of being a father?"
Sasuke looked up, a smirk resting on his lips. "I'll even ask for her hand in marriage."
"Sasuke this isn't a joke."
"I'm not laughing."
"You're seventeen. She's seventeen."
"And so are you. What's your point?"
"You're serious?"
Sasuke sighed and leaned against the countertop, his hands shoved into his pant pockets. "Yeah. I always liked the idea of kids…a wife…a house…I hope it's a boy. Did the doctor say?"
I blinked a few times before what he said settled into my brain. "Uh…no. No she didn't…it's too soon…"
"Oh…well I hope it's a boy." He closed his eyes. "So since I have this week off I think it best we get you settled in here."
"What?" Naruto frowned.
"Well she's now the mother of my child. It's only fitting."
Salvation Salvation
Nine months went by.
I moved in with Sasuke, he was right after all about our baby having two parents that lived together. But I didn't marry him. I just couldn't do it.
Naruto helped out a lot; he came by all the time since we now lived in the same apartment complex, but I missed the way things were before.
Naruto bought the crib-it was orange and white and had a built in mobile system. He also bought me some new clothing. Sasuke did too but Naruto knew exactly what I wanted; he went out and got large and extra large shirts of all my favorite bands; AFI, Guns 'N Roses, Black Veil Brides, Marilyn Manson, Slipknot-all of them.
I felt kind of bad for them though, they had to deal with all my mood swings and cravings.
Sasuke would be out one am in the grocery store, in his pajamas buying chocolate and coffee and veggies for me. Poor guy.
It was worse for Naruto though. He'd willingly make me food, then I'd get annoyed because it wasn't what I wanted because I craved something different the time he finished.
But they were amazing. They stayed with me those nine months and went with me to the hospital when it was time for the baby to come.
I stared down at my baby sleeping in my arms.
He had dark blue tuffs of hair on his scalp; his cheeks were pudgy and red.
He was my baby.
He was mine and Sasuke's baby.
I glanced up at Sasuke sleeping on one of the hospital chairs against one of the walls. His head was bowed, allowing the fringes to fall into his pale face. His muscular arms were crossed over his toned chest. He wore a simple black muscle tell and blue jeans.
Even though he was here, with me and my son, I wasn't happy.
I sighed and cradled my new baby boy closer.
I wish it was Naruto's.
I wish Naruto was here, by my side.
I opened my eyes and looked at our baby boy's slumbering face.
He had Sasuke's hair.
But he had my eyes.
My emerald orbs were now his.
I sniffed and reclined my neck.
I wished he had Naruto's sparking baby blue eyes instead of my own and I wished he had Naruto's messy blonde hair instead of Sasuke's dark blue.
I breathed deeply and settled down into the warm bed sheets.
There was nothing I can do now.
I had Sasuke's baby not Naruto's.
Sasuke is my boyfriend not Naruto.
Salvation Salvation
I awoke the next morning to the soft movements around my bed. I sighed, groaned then finally opened my eyes to see Sasuke standing there with our baby in his arms.
"Morning Hun." He sent me a gentle smile as he shifted our baby in his arms so that I saw his bright emerald eyes shining as he sucked the milk out of the bottle Sasuke was holding.
"Morning." I spoke, my voice ridden with sleep. I groaned softly as I gently stretched my arms and back, hearing the crick of my bones as they woke up.
Just then the door opened and Naruto walked in. "Morning sleepy head." He grinned at me and quickly walked to my side and kissed my forehead. "I've been here since seven." He scoffed. "And now you wake up?"
"Hm?" I rubbed the palms of my hands into my eyes as he placed a large coffee in my lap.
"It's ten." Sasuke answered, sitting beside my bed.
"Oh." I gingerly sipped the coffee, reveling in the feeling as it slid down my dry throat and settled in my stomach. "I guess we should get ready to go."
Salvation Salvation
After about one month I was depressed.
After two I was drowning my sorrows in coffee and cigarettes.
And after three I was lost.
I was lost in a pool of my own desperation to get out.
I looked down at our baby boy lying on the ground staring up at me.
His shining emerald eyes boring into my own.
Like he could see right through me.
Like he could see that it wasn't him I wanted.
I wanted him to be Naruto's baby.
I turned away.
I felt guilty.
But I was so mad.
I didn't want to be with Sasuke anymore.
He was suffocating me.
Just then the door opened and he stepped in. "Hey." He called, tossing his keys on the counter and slipping off his shoes. "You two in the living room?"
"Mhm." I nodded and looked back down at our baby.
He was smiling up at me and waving the rattle Naruto had given him around in the air.
I smiled.
No matter how much he looked like Sasuke he acted like Naruto.
"He likes that rattle doesn't he?" Sasuke asked, sitting beside me and kissing my cheek then he picked up our baby. "So how was your day?"
"Good." I sighed then looked up, out the giant window and out at the snow covered city.
"That's good. So do you know what you're going to wear for your big return tomorrow?" He asked, standing up and putting our baby boy in his crib.
I stood up and ran my fingers through my long pink locks. "Just a regular suit."
"Oh, okay. Because I could take you shopping if you need anything." I looked at him to see him looking back at me. He had removed his jacket and was just wearing a simple, dark blue dress shirt and black slacks. His tie hung loosely around his neck and his normally spiky hair hung limp in his eyes.
"No no." I turned back to the white blanket of snow in front of me. "I'm fine."
"If you say so." He sighed. "So what are we going to do about this little guy here? I leave at seven and you leave at seven thirty…so who's going to watch him?"
I gathered my hair at the nape of my neck and tided a hair tie around it. "Naruto said he'd come at six and take care of him."
"Oh." His voice was heavy as he turned to walk into the bedroom. "I'm going to go take a shower."
Salvation Salvation
I had developed a routine.
Every morning I'd wake up, go out into the patio and smoke two cigarettes.
Then I'd have two cups of coffee.
I'd take a shower before Sasuke woke up, then give our baby one bottle just before Naruto showed up and took over.
I never spent any alone time with my baby and honestly I never tried.
Naruto knew more about him than I did.
I regretted having him.
I blamed him for my inability to break up with Sasuke.
I blamed him for me being weak.
As time moved on I became more and more dependent on Naruto to take care of him and Sasuke noticed this and became more and more aggravated. Then one day I came to find Sasuke sitting there in the quiet; a single, white envelope on the table in front of him.
"Sakura." He stood up, in his arms held my baby boy. "I'm suing you for complete custody of this child."
He handed me the white envelope.
I was shocked.
Totally and completely shocked.
"I've spoken to Naruto about this; you are more than welcome to go to his apartment. But from now on you are no longer welcome here." His voice was emotionless as he spoke.
I nodded stupidly and left, the smoke of my last cigarette still caught in my throat.
I coughed as soon as the door shut and I stood alone in the hallway and opened the envelope and read the letter.
He was fighting me for all rights to my baby.
I would lose my rights as mother.
I stared down at the black and white letters, watching as it started to spin.
Then nothing.
I fell into a pit of darkness.
Salvation Salvation
I lost the case.
I lost all rights to my child.
And I fell deeper and darker into despair.
Life without my child was hard.
But life without anyone was harder.
I barley spoke to Naruto anymore.
And I never saw Sasuke.
I went though packs of cigarettes a day.
My health plummeted.
I was in and out of the hospital.
"Sakura." I turned to Naruto beside me. "Do you really need to light up?" He asked, his eyes trained on the cigarette dangling between my fingers.
I followed his gaze as he spoke. "You just got out of the hospital last night. Your skins pale, your bones protrude out…instead of smoking that why don't you eat something? How about some pasta?" He pleaded.
I looked up into his face to see his eyes filled with worry.
I looked down, ashamed of myself and put away the cigarette. "Sure. I'll take a bit."
His eyes lit up and he jumped up. "Okay, come on." He took my arm and pulled me. "It'll take two minutes to heat up."
I sat at the counter on one of the stools, and watched as he scurried around the kitchen.
"Here." He placed a steaming hot dish of pasta in front of me. "Taste it."
I nodded and picked up the fork and stuck it into the pasta then brought it to my lips.
It was warm.
Soothing.
I chewed it and swallowed, smiling as it settled into my stomach.
"It's good." I murmured and took another bite.
It was completely different that smoking.
It was warming and it filled my stomach.
I looked up to see Naruto staring down at me, his eyes glistening with tears. "Naruto?" I asked, placing down the fork to reach out to him.
"No." He spoke, and pushed my hand away. "Just eat." He smiled. "Just eat and enjoy the food.
Salvation Salvation
Because of Naruto I realized that I needed to take control.
I realized that he cared.
That I wasn't alone.
That my baby didn't ruin me.
In actuality I grew because of him.
I realized a lot of things that day.
Naruto never said anything but I suppose I had an epiphany.
I wanted to be happy again.
I wanted my life back.
I wanted my baby back.
I stopped sulking and smoking and began to take care of myself again.
Every day I got up, washed my face and ate a good breakfast.
I went to work with a smile on my face and drank water instead of coffee and I limited myself to only two cups of coffee a day instead of eight.
Every afternoon I visited my baby for two hours.
And every night I took sleeping pills so I could do it all over again.
It was work.
It was tiring.
But this was the only way to get my life back in order.
I needed the caffeine because I was quitting smoking and needed a healthier substitute.
I needed to visit my baby everyday at Sasuke's because I wasn't allowed to take him for a day.
And I needed the sleeping pills because I had become an Insomniac during my time of self destruction.
I appealed the order and won the case.
So by court order I got equal rights to be a parent to my baby meaning I am fully his mother.
I have rights to say no to scary movies and play dates.
And I have rights to say yes to sleep over's and candy.
I have as much right as Sasuke does.
We now share the responsibility of him.
I looked up at my new boyfriend and smiled.
"You happy?" He asked.
"Yup." I nodded and took my baby from Sasuke's arms while he took the car seat. "I got my baby back." I smiled and began to walk to the car only to turn around again. "Thank you Naruto."
He nodded, a perfect smile glued to his lips. "No problem."
Salvation Salvation
I'm not saying my baby saved my life.
And I'm not saying that he ruined it either.
I'm only saying that I was the only one who could have saved me.
Even though you love a person, and you try to save them, you can't.
And it's awfully conceded to think that you can.
The only person, who can save someone from this path of self-destruction and depression, is themselves.
Salvation Salvation
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