My Unattainable
A/N: This story starts five days before 'New Moon' begins, and follows a different plot, although I've included a few key events from the book later on in the story, they were kind of hard to ignore. This does start as Edward/Bella, but is totally a Jacob/Bella story, I promise! Hope you enjoy!
Chapter One (Bella's POV)
Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. I just make them jump through hoops for my own amusement.
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I ran through the forest, terrified and alone. I strained my ears for anything that sounded familiar, but the only thing I could hear was the sloshing of wet mud and bracken under my feet, amplified by the sheer silence resonating through the trees. The wind blew inaudibly, making me shiver uncontrollably. I called out in desperation, but my voice was swallowed up into the air as soon as it left my throat. I panicked, stumbled and tripped. I landed on my hands and knees in the dirt. I gasped, trying not to hyperventilate as I stood up shakily, brushing the worst of the mud off my jeans. I looked up, and to my surprise, I saw a familiar figure in front of me: tall, pale and sparkling in the sunlight that filtered through the trees. His beautiful topaz eyes were warm and full of affection as he offered me his hand.
Every inclination in my conscious mind wanted to reach out and take his hand. I could almost feel it already: cold marble against my palm. But I didn't reach out. I don't know why. I turned on my heels and ran back the way I'd come, as fast as I safely could. It was futile, really. I knew I could ever outrun him. Tears flowed down my cheeks as I tried to work out why I would want to run from him in the first place. It took me several minutes to realise that I was still searching. My pace picked up as I headed deeper into the forest, calling with silent lips for something... someone...
I sat bolt upright in bed, my hair falling over my face, sticking to my sweat-drenched skin. I ran a hand over my eyes, and automatically looked over to my window. I hadn't bothered to close the curtains last night, and now they stood unashamedly framing the brilliance of the moon in the night sky. I shuddered, and wrapped my covers closer around myself. I huddled down into my pillows, and shut my eyes tight, wishing away the memory of the disturbing dream. Why would I run from Edward, the love of my life? It just didn't make sense.
The dim light of early morning fell on my face and woke me up a few hours later. I sighed, and looked blankly at the empty rocking chair in the corner. That's where he'd usually be right then, watching me sleep, waiting for me to wake up. Too bad nature and necessity had to intervene every now and again. Emmett and the mountain lions would be keeping him company until tomorrow.
I dragged myself from my warm bed and trudged across to the bathroom. Charlie had plans to spend the day fishing, and I knew without looking at the clock that he'd already be gone. When I got downstairs I happened to glance at the calendar, and I groaned. Five days until my birthday. I hated the fact that Charlie had written it on the calendar in the first place. In red ink. How appropriate. I sat down with a glass of milk and pondered my dream. I thought I'd be able to rationalise it now I was fully awake. The memory didn't fade, like normal dreams; it stayed vivid and potent in my mind. All I could focus on was the fact that I was looking for something, and it wasn't Edward. How could that be? How could there be more? There was nothing more in my life.
That thought surprised me. I'd known since I met him that he was going to be the most important thing to me, and he really was. But the only thing? I surprised myself by pondering the thought. I was searching for something. Something unattainable. But what could have made me so panicky and desperate to find... whatever it was... when Edward stood right in front of me? He completed me.
I wished he was there, in the kitchen with me. I looked across at his chair, and squinted my eyes, trying to make out his outline from thin air. But all I could see were dust particles dancing in the thin beams of dull light. I shook myself, trying to pull myself together.
A sudden knock at the door interrupted my moment of mental instability. I headed to the door, my footsteps ringing shrilly in my ears, and opened it to find Alice stood on the porch, her face beautiful as ever but creased with worry and... something resembling confusion.
"Alice, hi," I greeted carefully, watching her expression.
I noticed that she didn't meet my eye as she answered.
"Hello, Bella." Her sing-song voice carried an edge of hurt or pain, and I flinched away from the unsettling tone.
"What's wrong?" My heart stopped and my eyes widened as a thought dawned on me. "Is it Edward? Is he okay? What's happened?"
Alice reached out her dainty hand to touch my arm comfortingly. "Edward's fine," she informed me.
I let out a sigh of relief, and my heart started working again. Overtime. Something really was bothering her.
She stood there with her hands wrapped in her sleeves, actually fidgeting.
"Come inside," I offered, taking a step back.
She hesitated, before slipping through the doorway and sitting herself noiselessly on the sofa. I went to sit next to her, and the springs creaked a little under me. I waited patiently until her eyes stopped flickering around the room and eventually settled on her lap.
"Bella, if you were going to do something... major... you would tell me, wouldn't you?"
I mulled over her choice of words. "Major?"
"You know, something really... different."
I looked at her blankly. "You're going to have to give me a bit more than that, Alice."
She said nothing.
I thought.
"I bought a new shampoo, mango instead of strawberry; does that count?" I asked, trying feebly to lighten the suddenly tense atmosphere.
Alice tried to smile, but quickly gave up.
I tried to fathom this new behaviour. "What have you seen, Alice? What happens?"
She shook her head quickly. "I don't... I'm not..."
She was really starting to worry me. She was never this uncertain, detached. It scared me.
She took a deep breath, and finally managed to look up at me.
"Bella, I'm going to ask you to promise something, and please don't be offended."
"Okay..." I answered carefully.
I waited.
"Alice?"
She spoke so quickly her lips were a blur, and I had to focus to understand her words.
"Promise you won't hurt him."
I panicked at her words. "Alice, please tell me what you've seen."
"Promise me," she insisted quietly.
"I promise," I whispered.
Alice's demeanour suddenly changed, and she was back to her usual, happy face, all signs of worry ironed from her forehead.
"Thank you," she said sincerely.
She stood up, and in a blur of excuses she was gone before I could move an inch. I blinked.
What was all that about?
Before I could start to worry over her, the phone rang. I jumped up eagerly to the distraction, and picked up the receiver.
"Hello?"
"Bella." The last voice I'd expected to hear.
"Jacob?"
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A/N: Strange introduction, I know, but bear with me, it'll get better. The next chapter will be from Jacob's POV. Please leave a review!
Thanks for reading.
MrsJacobBlack1988.
