This is what my immature mind comes up with. Enjoy.
Ahhh. This is my first Twilight fanfic, so please go easy on me. I tried to keep them in character but Bella's strayed a bit. And I know it's a bit weird, but like I said, it's my immature mind writing this. I've written stories about a guy wearing a chicken suit to impress his girlfriend and mutant killer wasps (a story to my teacher). Please tell me what you think!
Disclaimer: Saying I own the Twilight Saga would be like saying that I live in the world of Muddletopia where the grass is purple and the sheep are your friends and sing around the campfire with you.
p.s No I don't own anything.
The blonde man sat at the booth of the Pancake House, waiting impatiently for someone. He fidgeted with the napkins, his foot tapping on the shiny, off-white linoleum. He glanced at the blue clock on the wall and continued tapping.
The door tinkled, telling the whole shop someone had entered. The blonde haired man looked up quickly and then smiled. He jumped up from his seat and went to greet the tall, muscly man who just entered the door. He held his hand and clapped his back with his other hand.
"Bro!" he exclaimed excitedly.
"Why do guys hug like that?" Bella asked. It was just Bella and Emmett in the Cullen's living area (though Edward thought the name was rather unfitting considering they weren't really living creatures). The rest of the family had gone hunting leaving Bella and Emmett to watch a lame movie about long lost brothers and the dramas of sleeping with your brother's girlfriend.
"It's not a hug." Emmett insisted. "No, it's much more than that!"
"Then what is it?"
"It's a manly hug." Emmett said as if he was stating a fact, like the grass is green and the Earth is round.
"A manly hug?" Bella asked, mocking his emphasizing.
"Yes. Not to be confused with plain, old, boring hugs."
"Plain, old, boring hugs? Like what us girls do? What are they, girly hugs?" Bella asked, kinda confused yet trying not to laugh at Emmett's boy mind.
"No, they're just hugs. Hugs belong to women." Emmett said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
"Huh? You lost me there."
"Uh…take for instance…" Emmett paused, trying to think of a good explanation. "Wrestling. That's a man sport. Only men do it. It belongs to men."
"But WWE has female wrestlers." Bella pointed out. "And I would beat you at an arm wrestle any day!"
"Psht. In your dreams Bella-rina! Ok then…what about…" Emmett paused again, racking his brain for a better explanation. "Bras. They belong to women. When you think of bras, you think of women. But if you were to say they belonged to guys, you would call them manly bras."
"Manly bras?" Bella couldn't help but snigger.
"Ok that was a bad way of explaining-"
"Do you have a manly bra Em?" Bella interrupted.
"No! Ok, what about cooking-"
"Can I see it?" Bella asked eagerly, enjoying teasing him. This was too much fun.
"I don't have a bra! Do you want me to explain or not?" Emmett said, exasperated.
"Of course! I wanna know all about manly bras." Emmett glared at Bella and then looked back at the TV.
"I bet it's got lace. Oooh and glitter!" Emmett continued to stare at the screen.
"I think Alice would be very good at designing manly bras. She's got a good eye for style. Maybe she could design you one! That would be so, freaking awesome!" More television staring.
"Edward doesn't have a manly bra. Well, not that I know of but I'm pretty sure he doesn't." Bella rattled on.
"I think I might be wrong about your manly bra Emmett-"
"Thank you!" he puffed, glad she finally got it.
"-because lace and glitter aren't very manly. It's quite girly actually. I think it would be ripped with army camouflage patterns and caked in mud! But doesn't that get your chest dirty?" Emmett clammed up again.
"Does Rosalie know about your manly bra collection?"
"I'm not listening!" Emmett put his fingers in his ears. "La la la la la la la la!"
"Ok, ok! I'll stop talking about it since you're clearing uncomfortable with the topic."
Emmett looked at her warily. "Thanks."
"I could still beat you in an arm wrestle." Bella muttered, knowing very well that he could hear her.
"Outside. Right now." Emmett ordered and raced out the door. Emmett never said no to a hinted arm wrestle challenge. Bella smiled. Finally, something interesting to do. The movie was getting quite boring and seeing Emmett get fustrated was the most fun she had had in awhile.
She found him sitting at a big boulder surrounded by smaller rocks and trees, arm ready to wrestle with hers. Bella stood opposite him and clasped her cold, hard right hand in his, setting her elbow on the rock.
"If I win you have to stop mentioning manly bras, ever." Emmett said.
"And if I win, you have to be wearing a manly bra when everyone gets back home." Bella said. Emmett's eyes narrowed.
"No way! I'm not doing that!" Emmett exclaimed.
"Well you'll only have to do it if you lose. Do you think you're gonna lose, Em?" Emmett hesitated for half a second.
"Deal." He agreed, letting his pride and ego dominate over his common sense. Bella was a new born vampire and had beaten Emmett numerous times in arm wrestles but Emmett wouldn't let that compute in his brain. Emmett floated in the river Denial.
"One, two," Bella counted.
"Three." They both said together. Emmett pushed hard against Bella's hand but it was like a human pushing against a mountain. He grunted and pushed a bit harder but nothing happened.
Bella's lips were pursed in deep thought, her forehead wrinkled. "What do you think came first, the chicken or the egg?" Emmett scowled, not being able to concentrate on questions like that.
"I think it was the egg but Edward reckons it was the chicken. I told him that chickens don't just fall out of the sky and populate on earth. But then he replied that neither do eggs. So I said touché." Emmett's teeth were bared and he tried to move Bella's hand.
"It's going to be so much fun making your bra!" Bella exclaimed.
"And it will be so much fun knowing that you will shut up about stupid manly bras forever!" Emmett said through clenched teeth. "Which will happen when you lose."
"When I lose?" Bella asked. "Oh yeah…that's right." She said when she remembered about the arm wrestle that was currently going on and slammed down Emmett's hand in one, swift motion.
He moaned in defeat and brought his clenched fist down on the boulder, splitting it in two. "I want a rematch."
"Nope!" she said, popping her P. "I gotta go make your manly bra." And she ran back to the house and raided Alice and Esme's decorative supplies. Emmett walked slowly to the house and plumped down on the couch, head in hands while the still playing movie droned in the background. He got beaten by a little girl and was now going to be modeling a bra for his family. The earth might as well swallow him right now. Where did his dignity and male-esque go?
The others said they would be arriving back at roughly 3 am. He looked at his cellphone's clock. 2:42.
Bella gracefully flew down the stairs 13 minutes later holding something behind her back. She stood in front of Emmett before bringing out what she was hiding.
"Sorry, some of the glue might be a bit wet but it should dry out before they come home." Bella said apologetically.
Kill me now, he thought as he studied the bra.
And he thought Alice was bad. Bella had put white, flowery lace on the edges of a hot pink bra. She had glued many different coloured jewels on the straps and white glitter decorated the material, sparkling in the light. A pink rose, probably stolen from Esme's garden, was pinned to the left cup. It was the most horrendous thing he had ever seen, mainly because he would have to wear it.
Bella had stitched 'MANLY BRA' in a silver thread on his right cup. "Just in case someone confused it for a girly bra." Bella explained. If looks could kill, Bella would've died a million times in the most painful ways.
"I was going to try and patch some hearts on but Esme only had red heart buttons on and the red would clash with the pink."
"Because God forbid my bra would clash." Emmett muttered.
Bella paused and listened. She could hear the lightning footsteps of the Cullen's return. "Hurry up! Put it on, they're coming!" she urged.
"You know you don't have to do this." Emmett tried reasoning with her, hanging onto one last thread of hope. "You can always back out of the deal."
Bella rolled her eyes and yanked the bra overtop his shirt.
Carlisle, Esme, Edward, Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, Renesmee and Bella had never laughed so hard in their life.
So, input would be really nice. What did you think of this? What can I do better next time? What would you like to see? Any feedback would be really appreciated; I go on fanfiction to improve my writing.
Thank you for taking time to read this! It means a lot.
Signing out, Bunny.
