Ben Bruce didn't know what to do anymore. The whole point to getting "drunk" had been to see if Danny loved him back. He had planned to get the boy back to his dorm room, get him to have sex with him, then tell Danny that he wasn't drunk and he loved him. His plan did not work at all.
As soon as the two had come close to having sex, Danny had told Ben that he did love him, but didn't want to have sex with him. It had left Ben heartbroken. All Ben wanted was to be in Danny's strong arms, with the younger male whispering sweet nothings into his ear.
"Hey Ben!" one of the guys that had been at the party Ben had gone to the night before yelled at him from down the hallway. "That was one amazing party last night!"
Ben nodded glumly, he was in no mood to talk about that party.
"We saw you leave with that nobody Danny though, what was that about?
"He happens to be my best friend."
The guy made an "o" shape with his mouth. "I'm sorry, I didn't know."
"I know you didn't, nobody does."
"Why is that? If he's your best friend, shouldn't you want everyone to know?"
Ben shrugged. He had often thought about the way he treated Danny. Before they had left high school, he had begged the younger man to go to the same college. Ben hadn't been able to think of his life without Danny. Now that they were there though, he had grown accustomed to having two lives. Danny knew the real him, the one who loved to sit for hours with his guitar and didn't mind acting gay. The person that everyone else knew was not the real Ben. That person that everyone else knew was a plain, perverted, jackass that always had some blonde, bimbo on his arm. Ben didn't even really like girls, he thought they were petty and annoying.
"Ben? You still there?" the guy asked Ben, snapping his fingers in front of Ben's face.
"Uh yeah."
"Okay, well, I can tell you are definitely thinking about other things so I'll leave you alone."
As the boy walked away from Ben, Ben realized that he wished he would stay and talk. Without someone there, blabbering in his ear, Ben was left with his thoughts, and he could definitely do without having to think. All he could think about was the fact that Danny loved him, but didn't want him. He kept thinking that maybe Danny did want him, he just didn't want him when he was drunk. Ben wished with everything that he had that he could go back to last night and not pretend to be drunk.
The bell rang, signaling the beginning of the class period, and the people around Ben started disappearing. He hadn't noticed how loud it had been until all the talking and moving people were gone. IT made Ben's thoughts seem even louder.
"I'm not going to class," Ben said to no-one as he heading in the direction of his dorm room.
He knew it would have been a better idea to go to class, since all the people there would be talking and he would have the teacher and the work to pay attention to, but he didn't feel that he would be able to. He figured that even if he did go to class, the things that his teachers would be trying to teach him, would be ignored and he would still go to his thoughts. Ben would still end up worrying over how his relationship with Danny had been affected by his actions last night even if he was in class.
Once to his dorm, he didn't know what to do. He knew that his friends would just tell his teachers that he was sick, so he wasn't worried about getting chewed out for skipping. Ben wished that he had some homework to do, just so he could engross himself into it and forget about the night before. Even though he didn't really think trying to engross himself in homework would help at all.
Ben pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and looked at it. He thought about calling Danny, even though the boy would be in class, but he worried that Danny would ignore his calls or texts.
I could text one of my friends that are in Danny's class, he thought as he scrolled though his contact list. But no one knows how I feel about Danny, they would think it weird if I asked them about him.
Ben sighed, he knew he should have told someone before now. He had friends that would have been okay being his messenger, right? He had Sam and Cameron, who were in almost all of Danny's classes. He knew because the two were always complaining about something Danny had done. Whether it was "sucking up" to the teacher, or just answering a question right, they were always complaining about the boy. By that you would think that Ben couldn't have made the two be his messengers, but out of all his friends they were the two he thought that he could trust.
Then he got an idea.
He wasn't sure if he actually had the boys' number, but if he didn't he knew he had to know someone that would.
"J-J-J" Ben muttered, once again scrolling through his contacts. "James Cassells! Yes!"
Hey James Ben typed out.
And this is?
Ben Bruce
Oh hey dude
Ben got nervous when he read the oh. Could that mean that Danny had told James what happened and James didn't know how to respond to Ben? Could it mean that James was mad at Ben for what he did to Danny? ?Ben had to push those thoughts away, if he didn't, he knew he would chicken out and not ask what needed to be asked.
I really need to ask you a question
Ok shoot
Does Danny remember last night?
You two didn't fuck did you?
No does that mean he didn't tell you what happened?
No when he came back to our room he told me to leave him alone and buried himself in his bed. I had to force him to get ready this morning
Could you come to my dorm for lunch? I decided not to go to class but I need to talk to you
Sure thing I'll see you then
Ben was extremely glad that James agreed to come to his dorm for lunch. He had actually figured that Danny would tell the boy about what happened since James seemed to be Danny's main friend, but it seemed that the boy didn't want his friend to know. Not that Ben would blame him really, last night's situation was a little embarrassing, or at least it would have been if Ben had told any one of his 'friends' about it. They probably would have said he was losing his touch.
Ben couldn't wait for lunch, but at the same time he was super nervous. If Danny hadn't told James, did that mean he didn't want to boy to know at all? Did that mean Danny would get mad at Ben for telling James? He really hoped not. James was the only person he could think of that he could tell this to. None of his friends knew he liked guys, and certainly none of his friends would be okay with him liking Danny. Ben probably wouldn't go so far to call James a friend since he didn't really know the boy, but James was Danny's friend so he would hopefully know how to fix this.
"Ben, open up, it's James."
Ben got up off his bed, he hadn't realized it until now, but he had fallen asleep. At least it was better than freaking out about this, he thought as he made his way to the door.
"Hey James," Ben said, rubbing at his eyes as the other boy entered his room.
"Need some sleep did you?"
Ben laughed. "Seems like it."
James nodded. "Well you said that you needed to talk to me?"
"Oh yeah." Up to that point, Ben had sort of hoped that James would stick to small talk for a while. "So last night, Danny and I went to that party. I acted like I was drunk, but I really wasn't. The whole point of it was to see if he would have sex with me."
James interjected. "And you wanted to have sex with him?"
Ben blushed. "Yeah, I've had a crush on him for a while. Anyway, I was going to tell him I wasn't drunk, but I didn't get the chance because he decided he didn't want to have sex if I was drunk and wouldn't remember it. James, he told me he loved me."
"Then it's obvious what you need to do."
"What?" Ben felt confused. It seemed like whatever he needed to do was obvious to James, but it certainly wasn't to him.
"You need to tell him what you just told me."
"Oh," Ben said, pulling out the word.
Of course what James was saying was the logical thing to do, and Ben knew that was what he needed to do. The only problem was that Ben thought Danny would ignore all his attempts at conversation. He wasn't sure why, since Danny had thought that Ben was drunk, but Ben didn't think the boy would want to talk to him.
"Do you think he'll want to talk to me?" Ben asked James after sitting with his thoughts for a moment.
"Well, you said he thought you were drunk, so I don't think he'll make it obvious that he doesn't want to. Why don't you hang in Danny and I's dorm? Then when Danny gets out of class, he'll have to talk to you."
"I don't want to force him to talk to me though."
"Don't worry about it." James paused. "If I know anything about Danny. It'll be better if he's forced. I'll hang out with someone else until you text me, okay?"
Ben nodded. It looked like he was going to Danny and James' dorm.
…
When Ben had agreed to hang out in James and Danny's room, he hadn't realized that he would end up bored out of his mind. He completely forgot that none of his things would be in the room, all he thought about was talking about Danny.
After a few hours of sitting on what James said was Danny's ben, Danny finally walked into the room.
"Ben?" he asked, looking at the boy lying on his bed. "What are you doing here?"
"I need to talk to you about last night."
Danny's eyes widened and a blush appeared on his cheeks. He remembered what had happened the night before with crystal clear clarity since he had only barely finished one drink. By the way that Ben had been acting, and the fact that Danny had watched Ben drink a lot of alcohol, Danny had thought, and hoped, that Ben wouldn't remember anything that had happened the night before. Not only had Danny told the boy he loved him, he also refused sex with him. Danny was fairly certain no one had ever done that before.
Ben smiled softly. "You didn't think I would remember last night did you?"
"Truthfully, no. I saw you drink so much alcohol last night, I thought you wouldn't. When you weren't in class today, and when I heard your friends tell your teachers that you were sick, I figured that you were really hung-over."
Ben laughed. "I think having a hangover would be less painful."
"What do you mean?" Danny asked as he cocked his head to the side.
"Last night, I wasn't actually drunk. I planned on making it look like I was so that I could get you to come back here with me. I only wanted to have sex to see if you would have sex with me. That was the only reason I could come up with that would show me that I could tell you that I love you."
Danny's eyes widened in shock. He had always wanted those words to come out of the boy's mouth, but never thought he would hear them directed at him. "You-you love me?"
Ben nodded.
"Oh wow, I can't believe it. I didn't think you did."
Ben looked up at Danny for a second. When Danny told him that he didn't think Ben loved him, it sort of hurt him, even if he really had no reason to feel hurt. Ben shook those thoughts out of his head, he was finally getting to show Danny his true feelings, he didn't have time to worry about Danny not thinking Ben loved him.
Getting up off the bed, Ben walked over to where Danny had frozen. When he got up to the younger man, he wrapped his arms around the boy's neck, smiling softly.
Danny smiled back, and wrapped his arms around Ben's waist. "Whatcha doing Ben?"
"Something I should have done a long time ago."
Ben pressed his lips to Danny's, surprising the younger boy. It wasn't that Danny didn't want to kiss Ben, he had actually thought about what it would be like quite often, he just hadn't been ready for the boy to kiss him first.
During all previous kissed with almost every person he had ever kissed, Ben had always thought of anything other than the person he was kissing. He enjoyed kissing, he just had never enjoyed the person he was kissing. Now, when he was kissing Danny, he actually focused on the person he lips were pressed to. Ben thought about their past together, all the times that he could have and should have told Danny about his feelings, and he thought about their future together. They were only in college after all, they had the rest of their lives to be together.
