I don't own South Park, Pokémon, or any other things except for my cat. His name is Bob

It was just another day in South Park. Officer Barbrady was not doing his job, was saying Mkay, & Kenny had died 3 times today.

Cartman was sitting on his couch eating cheesy poofs and watching the news. Now you may wonder why he was watching the news. The answer: he got grounded from watching Terrance & Philip after he had killed Scott Tenerman's parents.

'This is weak' though Cartman.

"And finally tonight an interesting story out of Japan." The TV announcer said.

'Who the hell cares' though Cartman.

"Professor Hoshimontonimo has announced a great breakthrough in his genetic engineering research; we now go live to Professor Hoshimontonimo's lab with a midget wearing a bikini."

"Thanks Tom, Professor Hoshimontonimo is now going to announce his amazing breakthrough"

When a white 6'1 guy walked onto the stage Cartman got confused "What the hell?"

"Hello everyone, I professor Hoshimontonimo spent 25 years of my life on one single dream. To create Pokémon."

"WHAT?" Cartman yelled.

"It is with great honor that I say that today I have accomplished this goal. I have created all 493 species of Pokémon! ( No Black & White version because I don't know them) & have made an island for them to live on!"

'Holy shit' Cartman thought 'does stuff like this always happen on the news?'

"I & the Nintendo Corporation have decided to pick one lucky school from each continent (we have decided to give North America 2 schools because Antarctica has no schools) the chance to go to this island and catch your very own Pokémon!"

Cartman jumped off the couch and got on his knees. "God, I've never asked you for anything besides giving Kyle aids, please, please let our school win." Cartman prayed.

"The winners of this contest will stay anonymous because of the jealousy it will cause" Hoshimontonimo said.

"Then how will a school know it has won" The midget asked

"Simple, they will be an announcement at their schools where they will be brought to their nearest airport where an airplane will pick them up and take them to Kanto."

"Kanto?" The midget asked

"That is what we have named the island, yes. It has also been decided that no one under the 4th grade & no one above 5th will be able to go."

"Why is that?"

"I don't know, Nintendo decided that."

"Well, there you have it Tom, the kids of South Park can only hope that they are the lucky ones to be selected, back to you."

"Thanks midget, shocking report." Tom said "Now on to local news, officer Barbr…" Cartman turned off the TV.

"Oh god, please, let us win!" Cartman pleaded

"Snooklepoo, time for bed." Cartman's mom called

"But mooooooom!" Cartman whined.