Title: Life Changing
Pairing: Edward and Carlisle
Rating: M
Genre: Angst
Wordcount: Approx 3000
Summary: A chance online encounter leads to a devastating accident. There are some incidents that are life changing.
Warnings: Contains death
Disclaimer: I own none of the Twilight Character, I own only the plot
Life Changing
Carlisle POV
Fuck! I was running late for work yet again! It didn't seem to matter what time I got up, or went to bed or tried to do something different, I would always end up running late. My boss was getting a little tired of it. I worked hard, and he knew that, but I really had to work on my time keeping. I was atrocious at it. It only started recently and I had an inkling why - Edward246. I'd met him in a chat forum I regularly popped into. It wasn't a room to meet people. It was somewhere people could talk to one another about their being bullied or abused because they were gay.
I had come out to everyone years ago, and the majority had taken it pretty well, but not everyone. My father disowned me and my mother said I disgusted her. My sister was the only one who still talked to me. But, that was life; the forum was somewhere that I could vent. I had met Edward246 in there. We started private chats and had even swapped pictures of one another. He had the most beautiful green eyes I had ever seen, high cheekbones, a strong nose and full round luscious lips.
But, enough of that, I had to get to work otherwise I was going to be in serious trouble. I ran out to the car and gunned the engine. I was tearing down the street before my garage door had time to finish closing.
Edward POV
I listened to the soft music playing through my earphones. I had Debussy's Claire De Lune playing at the time and it was a personal favourite. I trotted down the street as I stayed in my happy little cloud. My mother was always accusing me of being a daydreamer. I guess she was right - because here I was with my head in the clouds! But I loved to daydream. It meant that I could escape from some of the harsh realities of life. Like the breakdown of my mother's marriage because it turned out my father had a penchant for young boys, and my being gay just made it all the more fun.
Mother never blamed me though; she was by my side every step of the way. I was bullied and taunted for weeks, if not months, afterwards. I was gay so I asked for it. There was no way that I had tried to fight it because I loved having a cock up my arse. It was all bullshit! I had never gone all the way with a guy. I had kissed and fumbled, but that was it. All that was stolen when my father found out I was gay.
My daydreaming tended to get me into trouble, but never anything serious. My university professor was always saying I had to start focusing on the lectures, but he had to admit that I always handed my work in on time and I always had all the correct notes. So it wasn't as if I never listened. I just wasn't always one hundred percent focused.
As I plodded along with my music playing through my head, I headed towards town. I wanted to get an early start on my day. I had no lectures today and my cupboards were bare except for a few tins lurking around. Asda, here I come!
Carlisle POV
I was speeding and I knew it, but I didn't have time to slow down. There was a chance that I would just make it on time this morning. I just prayed that there weren't any cops around. The last thing I needed was to explain to my boss that I was late because I had been caught speeding because I was running late for work but that I would have been on time if not for the police catching me! That really would not go down well. Emmett was getting frustrated with me, and I couldn't take advantage of all the chances that he had given me other the past few weeks.
I heard the tires screeching as I almost fishtailed round the corner; the traffic lights were green so if I could just go a little faster, I could race through the lights and be on my way. My car sped through just as it started to flash amber. I made it through the next set of lights no problem; perhaps this was going to be my lucky day after all.
I careered around the roundabout and shot off at my turn off. I sped past houses, as I got closer and closer to the office. I could actually make it! It was still early in the morning so there were hardly any other cars in sight yet. As I headed towards the next set of lights that had just started flashing amber, my heart stopped.
Edward POV
I trotted on my merry way with my iPod still playing everything I had downloaded to it recently. The crossing was in sight and there were no cars around, so I figured I would just nip across without having to wait for the lights to change after pressing the button a gazillion times. I stepped out onto the road, and then all I heard was beeping and screeching tires. I froze as I turned to see a car hurtling a breakneck speed towards me!
My brain was screaming at me to dash across the remainder of the road, but I was rooted to the spot. A deer caught in the headlights was what sprung to mind before the car slammed into me and my body exploded with pain. I bounced over the bonnet and roof before crashing to the tarmac below.
Carlisle POV
Oh my God! There was a lad crossing the road and there was no way that I was going to be able to brake in time! I slammed the brakes on regardless and the tires screeched their protest at being stopped all of a sudden. I skidded across the road and all I could do was see the fear in the man's eyes as he flew over my car.
I came to a stop three or four feet away and he lay in a crumpled heap behind me. I could just jump back in the car and go to work, I thought. No one was around, so there was no one who had seen the accident and no way to tie me to it. After all, there were so many hit and runs that the cops couldn't keep up with them. They would never know it was me.
I scolded myself mentally. What on earth was I thinking? I had just probably killed someone and here I was thinking about saving my own skin! I jumped out the car pulling my mobile out with me. I dialled 999 as I approached the young man.
"Hello, what's your emergency?" I heard the operator talking calmly.
"I need an ambulance immediately. I've just hit a man in my car, and I didn't see him crossing the road."
"Sir, what speed were you going when you hit him?" the operator said.
I didn't want to tell her the truth but it could be a vital piece of information that could save him life if he was still alive. Yeah right, I thought. I was way over the limit.
"I was going sixty miles per hour, Miss," I muttered.
"Ok, do not move the man under any circumstances, but feel his neck and see if you can find a pulse," she spoke calmly and clearly to me.
I felt his neck and there was a faint and weak pulse, but one nonetheless.
"Yes!" I cried, "it's weak but I can feel it."
"Ok, now, I'm sending an ambulance already. I can see you're at Ingram Road. They should be with you in about ten to fifteen minutes. Try to talk to the gentleman and see if you can get him to respond to you. But do not move him! You could make his injuries far worse," the operator stated.
I hung up and realized that the ambulance would be here to take care of the lad I had hit and I could still make it to work only a few minutes late. The paramedics could handle the situation far better than I could, and the last thing I needed was a speeding ticket and a court appearance for reckless driving. God, I was one sick bastard! How could I be thinking this? Emmett's right, it's about time that I started taking responsibility for my actions. It was a hell of a way to start, but hey.
I approached the lad and got down in front on him and my knees. I gently slid the hair back from his face and I was devastated. Although his eyes were closed, I could tell this was Edward246 from the chat forum. I'd recognize that mouth anywhere. I had spent dream-filled nights wondering what it would be like to kiss that mouth. What had I done! All my stupid rushing around could have killed someone I had come to know and grow extremely fond of. I had never met him and had no idea that he was from anywhere near here.
I watched him breathing and kept checking for a pulse. I started to do as the operator said and talked to him. I prayed that he would come around. I wanted him to live. I didn't care what would happen to me, I had to be sure that he had a fighting chance of making it. There was no way of knowing if he would make it, but he seemed to be a fighter.
"Edward?" I assumed that was his real name as well as his forum name. "Edward, can you hear me? It's Carey123. Please, please wake up," I pleaded.
Carey123 was of course my forum name, although we had shared pictures, I had not been ready to reveal my true name. Edward might not have been his real name either, but it was all I had to go on to try to get him to regain consciousness.
"Come on, Edward, I know you can hear me. You have to wake up, please. I am so sorry that I hit you! I never even saw you! One minute the crossing was empty and the next there you were. Come on, Edward, it's time I saw those beautiful green eyes in real life, not just in pictures."
I could hear a faint sound and realized he was groaning slightly. He was coming around. I coaxed him with my voice some more and it was working bit by bit. I could see his eyelids fluttering but they weren't opening. I was so scared, for Edward, for myself, for his family, for everything. In a stupid moment of idiocy, I may have destroyed so much. If I was late for work, I was late; speeding should have never entered my mind, even for a millisecond. But here I was, tending to a man I had been talking to for weeks, because I was a fucking screw up.
"Help... me," Edward whispered.
"I'm trying. The ambulance is on its way. They'll be here soon. You're going to be fine." I was crying.
I took a step back mentally and looked him over. His body was in a mangled and unnatural position; his legs were splayed and one arm was underneath him lying at an angle that I knew was not only broken, but also dislocated. There were bound to be so many broken and fractures bones in his body. And it was my entirely fault.
"Carey... what... are... you... doing... here?" he gasped.
"Carlisle, not Carey. Carlisle is my real name. I'm the one who ran you over, Edward. I am so, so sorry! Please, just keep fighting. Stay with me!" I screamed as his eyelids started closing.
His eyes were wide with shock. I could see the understanding cross his face. The crossing, my car - he must have seen me at the last second before I had ploughed through him.
"It's... okay... you didn't... see... me."
"It does matter, Edward. I still hit you at sixty miles an hour no less, and in a thirty zone! I am such a bastard! You're lying in a broken heap because of my recklessness," I sobbed.
"Tell... me... about you."
"What?"
"I want... to know... all about... you. I've... waited for... weeks for... you to... start... telling me... things about... yourself."
I could hear Edward's voice grow a bit stronger. Maybe if I talked to him constantly so he didn't have to use his energy talking to me he would rest enough for when the paramedics got here. I frowned, as it should have been a couple of minutes ago
I told Edward all about why I was in the chat forum, about my family disowning me. I told him about work, that I was a graphics designer and part-time illustrator. I loved my work; I could draw and make certain things come to life. Drawings would soon take shape, from just a sketch to a full-scale, colourful artistic piece.
I told him about my recent lateness for work because I had started talking to him privately on the chat forum. I said I didn't blame him, of course, but he was the reason. I laughed because I would always log onto the laptop in the morning to see if he had left me anything during the night while I slept and dreamt of him.
I heard a gurgle and noticed he was trying to chuckle, but a line of blood ran down the side of his face from his lips. I heard air whistling from somewhere. I guessed one of his lungs had been punctured. He could go at any second and there was still no sign of the paramedics. I felt helplessness creeping through me. I had caused this and I had no way of fixing it.
I cried as I continued talking to Edward, telling him about my wild and crazy sister, that she had never turned her back on me and that I adored her with all my heart. She was amazing in every way.
I sobbed out how Emmett had started getting impatient and fed up with my constant tardiness. I blubbed because I was sorry and felt a complete bastard, since I had actually thought about leaving his broken body in the middle of the road and driving off. I was selfish and a total fucking twat for even considering it. No decent human being would ever think it.
"Carlisle... it's... okay... everyone... makes... mistakes," Edward wheezed, "I... am... partially... to... blame... if... I... hadn't... had... my... head... in... the... clouds... I... would... have... seen... you... coming."
I cried even harder as I knew Edward was trying to make me feel better, but I didn't deserve it. I could feel my tears soaking through my shirt as I cried for Edward and the sorry state I had put him in. I cried for the bastard I had become. I cried for my sister who would have to see her brother in jail, but mostly I cried because I loved Edward and I might never be able to hold him. I had known him only a few weeks but he was what I had been looking for all my life. Someone who could daydream for me, who could love me for who I was, and who would never force me to do anything I didn't want to. I saw all those qualities in Edward.
Sirens! I could hear the sirens from the ambulance in the distance! Edward just might make it. I may never have a future with him but at least I would know that my stupidity had not killed him.
"Carlisle, need... you to know... that even... though we... haven't... known each... other... long, I... have wanted... to meet... and... talk to you... because... I think... I may... have... fallen in... love with... you.
"Edward..."
"Sshh... need to... get this... out. Sounds... silly but... I really... think... I... love you. It's... weird but... there you... go."
I smiled sadly and knew exactly what he was talking about. I had known him a few weeks, but I was in love with him, too.
"Edward, I need you to know. I... I love you. I have been trying to get the courage to ask you to meet with me so I could get to know you without the barriers of a computer and without the shield of the internet. I've needed to start somewhere with someone, and I had wanted it to be you. I am so sorry that I have done this to you. But I want you to know the truth," I sighed.
Edward started coughing violently, the wheezing grew worse, and blood was spraying from his lips. He was getting worse. The ambulance still wasn't here! I could still hear the sirens, but no ambulance appeared.
"Carlisle... I want... you to... hold me," Edward coughed.
"No, the operator told me not to move you!"
"I... don't... care. I... don't... think... it's... going... to... matter... one... way... or... another. I... want... to... be... held... by... you."
How could I not grant that wish with the eyes he was making at me? Like a small, lost puppy searching for its owner, I could see Edward was trying to focus on me, but his eyes kept glazing over. I pulled him into my arms despite his screams of agony. He grabbed hold of me with surprising strength. I held him close to my heart while I sobbed. I sobbed so hard I thought I was going to be sick.
Edward POV
My body was twisted, my brain screaming in agony and so many bones broken. I kept swimming in and out of consciousness. I could hear someone talking on the phone to another person - something about an accident. Who had been in an accident? Then it all came back to me - the car, the crossing, screeching tires and a familiar face. Where had I seen that face before? The thought was gone as quickly as it appeared.
I heard shuffling and figured whoever had run into me had sat next to me to wait. For what? An ambulance, perhaps? Was that who he was talking to? I heard talking then and my chat forum name. The one I used in the room for abused or bullied gays.
I tried to open my eyes, failed, tried again and squinted at the face near me. I recognized it again. It took me a minute but... Carey123! What the hell was he doing here? Had he seen the crash? Then I remembered why the face behind the wheel of the car looked familiar. I had spent weeks daydreaming over that face and what it would be like to kiss it, hold it and touch it.
He explained, but I said it was okay, he hadn't meant to hit me. I know that he would never intentionally harm another person.
He told me his name was Carlisle, not Carey. He begged me to stay with him and I smiled mentally. I had more than one way in mind to take him up on that. I know I should be pissed as hell at him for speeding and running me down, but everyone made mistakes and I told him so.
I begged him to tell me about himself for the more I talked, the weaker I grew. If I could get him to talk for a while, I could rest up. It sounded mean but I didn't really pay much attention to what he was saying. I was more concerned with the wheezing and pain in my chest. I knew that one of my lungs was punctured and that it was only a matter of time before the blood that was leaking into it would begin to build up and drown me.
I tried not to panic, it was energy wasted if I did that. I heard snippets of what Carlisle was telling me about his father, his work. I had never pegged him for a graphics designer. He didn't seem like the drawing or doodling type to me.
He told me he was in love with me. I had been in love from the moment we had begun talking privately. I wanted him in my life, no matter what it took. I only prayed that there were not thousands of miles between us. Who would have known I'd be lying in the middle of the road with him next to me, the one who ran me down, no less.
"Please... hold... me," I begged.
I screamed in agony as he dragged me into his arms. I felt like I was being ripped down the middle. My body was on fire with pain, but I grabbed him hard and there was no way I was letting go. Never! I was going to fight this all the way. I had found what I had been looking for, and a silly car accident wasn't about to get in my way
"I'm... not... going... to... go... anywhere," I whispered.
"Good, because now that I have you I'm never letting you out of my sight," he said.
I tried to chuckle but it came out as a gurgle and wheeze. Oh well, won't be trying that again anytime soon, my brain shouted. I had to save my strength. I could hear the ambulance in the distance, and I had to fight on my own for a little longer then I would get help. Just had to hold on, for Carlisle's sake, I told myself.
Carlisle POV
He was fighting so hard, my Edward. Strong as an ox he was. I heard screeching tires and people shouting. Sirens? The paramedics had arrived!
"Out of our way, sir, we need to attend this man. Were you not told to leave him where he was?" one shouted at me.
I nodded but said nothing and held onto Edward even tighter. He groaned in pain and I felt bad immediately.
"Let him go, son. We can't help him if you hold on to him. We need to check him over," the other muttered.
I blinked and slowly slackened my hold on him. Edward keened and tried to hold on tighter. I murmured that I wasn't letting go permanently, just enough so they could help him. I kept talking to him, keeping him with me. I filled in any questions the paramedics had in between my ramblings. Please, just save him, I thought.
Edward POV
The paramedics were here. I would be okay. I could hear them talking to Carlisle but I wasn't paying attention. The pain in my body had started to ease, or I had just become accustomed to it. One way or another, it became manageable, almost easy to deal with. I felt hands touching me and guessed the paramedics were checking me over, but my eyes never left Carlisle's so I didn't bother looking. I was having a hard time getting my eyes to focus on his face; he kept blurring and then refocusing.
I felt myself weakening. I didn't have long left. The paramedics needed to do something fast. I needed help; I couldn't fight for much longer. I was tired.
Carlisle
I felt Edward's grip on me start to slacken. "No!" I screamed at the paramedics to do something but they ignored me. I heard something clack to the ground and saw a backboard. Edward would need to be put on that. Oh God, he would hurt so badly. My fault again! Stupid, idiot bastard, I thought. My actions had done this.
"Right, son. You're going to need to slowly turn and roll Edward onto the backboard so we can strap him up. Slowly though, as there's no telling how much damage has been caused." I could hear the accusation in his voice, but ignored it.
"Right, baby, I gotta move you. It's going to hurt but I have to do it slowly. I don't want to do more damage than I already have done," I muttered.
Saying nothing, Edward looked at me with glassy eyes. I slowly rolled him onto the backboard, but he didn't make a sound. Something was wrong. His wheezing had almost stopped. He blinked at me.
"...you," he whispered to me.
Edward
My grip was loosening even though I fought hard to hold on. I saw the backboard being laid to the ground and heard the instruction the paramedic was giving to Carlisle, but I wasn't paying attention. Everything was so bright and clear, no fuzziness or blurring. Everything shined; there were people all around me - people I thought long dead - my best friend, my grandmother and grandfather. They were smiling at me and beckoning me forward. I looked back and saw Carlisle holding my body. A part of me was still in there. I could see my chest rising and falling with my breathing, but the rest was looking at people I loved, still beckoning me. I shook my head.
I went back to my body. I wanted to tell Carlisle I loved him because I think my time had come. I knew that my loved ones were here for me. I had to go with them.
"I... love... you," I whispered to him.
I left to follow my loved ones. I felt warmth, peace and happiness flood through me. I felt sad at leaving Carlisle, but he would understand, wouldn't he? After all, my body was battered and bruised, there was not much left of it that would be able to work again. I could feel it. I smiled sadly, as a tear escaped my eye. I blew him a kiss and walked away.
Carlisle
I felt a rush of warm air. I knew he had gone and howled in agony. No! The man I loved had gone! I brushed my lips against his, said I loved him and let him go. The paramedics shook their heads, as they knew he was dead. My beautiful Edward was gone. He looked peaceful though, as if he had gone to sleep.
I smiled gently. I felt something brush my cheek. I turned in time to see a brief vision of Edward blowing me a kiss and then he was gone. I had no idea if I daydreamed it or if it happened, but I think he was telling me that no matter where it was that he was going, he was happy, and that he would be waiting for me there.
