Just a Foot in the Door...
A Muppet Show Fanfiction
By Drauchenfyre
After a rough reception on stage, Scooter gets the "Facts of Life" for the theater world...
A/N: I've always loved the Muppet Show, but Scooter annoys the p*$$ out of me, and I wish I could have given him this talking-to.
*STORY*
Kermit sighed as a visibly-irritated Scooter came backstage in a chorus of 'boos' from the audience. Once more, Scooter came up with a half-baked idea and used his uncle's name to wrangle a spot on the show. Kermit decided this had gone on long enough and called to his gofer.
"Scooter, could I have a minute of your time?"
Scooter scowled, but realized that it would be bad form to just ignore Kermit. "Alright, Chief."
Leading Scooter into the Prop Room for some privacy, Kermit hopped onto a crate (A/N: sorry, couldn't resist) and gestured for Scooter to have a seat on the crate opposite him. Once Scooter was settled, Kermit started the conversation.
"Scooter, why are you here?"
"Because you asked me to, Chief."
"No, Scooter, I mean why are you in this theater?"
"Because I work here."
Kermit pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. Talking to Muppets always seemed to devolve into a vaudeville comedy routine, no matter how serious he tried to be. "No, Scooter, I mean why are you in show business?"
"Well, gee, Chief, I wanna be a great actor someday."
"And how's that working for you?"
"I just can't seem to get the hang of it. Everybody hates my acts."
"Do you know why that is, Scooter?"
"Uh, no."
Now he was getting to the heart of the conversation. Kermit was going to have to awaken the young gofer to the unpleasant facts of theater life. He could only hope Scooter would listen. "Scooter, at this point, everyone here is well aware of the fact that your Uncle J.P. owns this theater. The problem is, every time you don't get your way, you make comments about 'gee, my uncle who owns this theater...' and we give you what you want to keep a roof over our heads. It causes resentment amongst your fellow performers."
Scooter scowled, but could see Kermit's point.
Kermit pressed on, "Now, don't get me wrong, Scooter- you've got potential, and some of your ideas are good, but you get an idea for an act and you want to be onstage that night. You aren't going to take a rough idea and turn it into a top-notch act in half an hour. Fozzie works for weeks on his monologues- and they still don't all come out good. Rowlf and Piggy work on their songs and performances all week in preparation for the weekly show, so they can iron out as many rough spots as they can. Even Gonzo, loveable little kook that he is, can spend days working on his oddball acts. The Electric Mayhem get together every night for a couple of hours to rehearse, just so their performances are top-notch."
Here Kermit looked Scooter in the eye to make sure he had the young gofer's attention. "My point, Scooter, is that J.P.'s name can get you on stage, but it can't get the audience to like you. That comes solely from your performance. If you get an idea for an act, flesh it out. Rehearse it- I know Rowlf would be glad to rehearse musical numbers with you. Ask for honest feedback from your fellow performers- most of us have been in this game for years, and have a decent idea of what the audience will like, and help you smooth the rough patches so you can get those cheers and applause you want. An important name can only get you a shot- it's up to you and you alone to make something of that shot."
Kermit looked at his young assistant. Scooter looked awed, stunned, and thoughtful at the same time. Kermit could only hope that his gofer would take his heartfelt advice to, well, heart. He wasn't lying when he said the kid had potential- he just wanted the kid to realize that his uncle's name couldn't serve as a substitute for practice and talent.
END
A/N: I was always irritated by Scooter, particularly in the first season. I've worked alongside people like that, who had a powerful or influential relative at the company and expected to coast on that instead of putting in the work like the rest of us peons. I know it's unavoidable, but it's still annoying.
