A/N- Hello? taps microphone Is this thing on? microphone squeaks
loudly and television viewers cringe in pain Oops, sorry, guess it
is. OK, before the show starts I just have a few things to say. No,
I don't own any of the characters in this fic, except Rory, because
she is my "imaginary friend". At least I think I so. sigh I
confuse even myself at times. Oh yeah, I have a mortal fear of jail
and all things related to it, so if there is anything else in here
that I didn't say that I don't own, and I obviously don't own it,
please don't sue me. Did you get all that? One last thing, by
reading this fic, you will eventually be exposed to my, uh, oddness.
You have been warned. Enjoy the show!


Charades: International Edition

EPISODE ONE:

"Where the heck are we?" And people unknown.


Welcome to Charades: International Edition! Hosted by the Marauders! Now please welcome your hosts - James, Lily, Sirius, Remus, and Peter walk onto stage looking very confused

Remus- Looks around Why...? How...?

Sirius- I dunno. Has a bewildered look on his face Where the heck are we?

Peter- Don't ask me. One minute we were studying in the Common Room, the next, poof, we were here.

(A/N- We hate Peter! We hope the traitorous dog falls off a cliff! Yes we
do! Bows and blushes Thank you, thank you! You're too kind!)

Lily- Looks at James, who sitting on the floor Uh, what's with him? He's been doing that ever since I came over.

Peter- Well, he's having a slight mental breakdown. Sirius was supposed to tell him you were studying with us...

All except Sirius- Turn towards Sirius

Sirius- Smiles evilly Oops, must have...Slipped my mind.

James- Continues hugging knees, rocking back and forth, muttering Darn it. It's Lily, I'm gonna die, darn it.

Stage Hand (SH)- Runs onto stage and hands Remus a piece of paper

Remus- Reads paper, then looks up and yells Wait, where are we?! frowns when no answer comes and sighs Oh well. Um, I think we're hosting a show. Right. Uh, o.k., everybody, now it's time to welcome our guests from Tortall! spotlight pans on a circle of stools with five figures on them, all of whom cringe when the spotlight hits them They are-

Lady Knight Alanna of Pirates Swoop and Olau!

Lord Sir Raoul of Goldenlake and Malorie's Peak,
Knight Commander of the King's Own!

Lady Knight Keladry of Mindelan!

Sir Nealen of Queenscove!

And

Sergeant Domitan of Masbolle!

Neal- Where are we?

Dom- I dunno, Meathead. One minute I was fighting Scanrans, the next I was here.

Raoul- Points at marauders and Lily Hey, who are they?!

Kel- Uh, people?

Raoul- Well, thank you Captain Obvious!

Kel- Smiles You're welcome.

Raoul- Raises eyebrows and shrugs O.k... turns to Lily and the marauders Well, who are you?

Remus- I'm- SH runs onto stage and hands Remus another piece of paper Will you please tell me where we are?! no answer. sigh It was worth a try. reads paper More people? O.k. everybody! Please welcome our other guests from the Fellowship-

(A/N- As Remus calls their name, each contestant walks onto the stage and
sits on a stool, all looking, of course, very confused)

Frodo Baggins, the former Ring bearer!

Samwise Gamgee!

Pippin Took!

Merry Brandybuck!

Elvin Prince Legolas Greenleaf!

Aragorn, King of Gondor!

Gimli, a Dwarf from the Lonely Mountain!

And

Gollum!

Frodo- Points at Gollum and falls off stool Ahhhhhhhhhhhh! But you're supposed to be dead!

Gollum- Why doesn't Master trust Smeagol anymore?

Frodo- You're not Smeagol, you're Gollum! And it's hard to trust something after it- holds up hand with missing finger BITES YOUR FINGER OFF!

Sam- Gollum wasn't part of the Fellowship, why's he here?

Gollum- Muttering to himself We wants revenge on the filthy hobbitses, oh yes... looks up No! Whats we means is, uh, we be wanting to, um, see Master again.

Frodo- Cowers under stool

Sam- Hides behind stool

Gollum- Tries to look innocent

Everyone else- Stare

Crickets- Chirp

Raoul- Spreads arms wide Who the heck are you people?!

Alanna- Well, I'm Alanna, and that's Kel and Neal and-

Raoul- I know that! Points at everyone not from Tortall Who are they?!

Neal- You don't know? Rolls eyes And people say I'm out of it.

Dom- Screams and runs to Kel Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Kel, the Meathead knows something!

Kel- I'm scared!

Neal- Scowls It's so nice to have friends who support you. Oh, and my name is not Meathead!

Dom/Kel/Raoul/Alanna- In taunting, sing-songy voices Yes it i-is!

Neal Sorry Meathead- I hate you. Every single one of you.

Kel- Oh, come on. You know you love us.

Meathead- No, I bloody don't think I do.

Legolas- Mutters to Aragorn There's something wrong with them.

Aragorn- Nods and stares, mouth open, at the Tortallens

Remus- Well, that's it for this episode. Will Raoul ever find out who we are? Will Neal get everyone to call him by his real name? Will we ever start the game? And does anyone know where we are? Find out next time!

Raoul- Falls to knees and looks at ceiling WHO THE HECK ARE THESE PEOPLE?!?