Balthier's lips were cracked with dehydration of desert travel and his mouth tasted like the sand of the sandstorm they had just passed through that very day. Vaan was sure his mouth didnt taste any better, so he didn't complain.

Vaan broke the kiss and pushed gently against Balthier's chest. "I...I just can't do this." He was highly aware of Balthier's arm around the small of his back and suddenly felt an itch radiate from the touch and it was all he could do not to fidgit and scratch it until it all went away. The arm brought memories back that he had tried to repress many upon many times. but it had never worked anyway.

"What is it?" Balthier asks. "You were all for this just a minute ago."

"I know, I know. I just..." Vaan sighs. He didn't want to say it. and thinking about it was making the simple itch turn into a raging burn that engulfed his whole back. If the memories were enough to do that much damage, he could only imagine how much worse saying his name would be. "I just haven't done this since...since..." Vaan slumps in on himself and looks at the ground between his and Balthier's feet.

"I see." Balthier didn't need to hear Reks's name to understand. "Maybe doing this with someone else will help?" Balthier pulls Vaan closer, where their mouths were a mere inch away.

"I-I don't-" Vaan starts before biting his lip, fear registering in his eyes.

Balthier swallows a sigh and recoils from Vaan, making the later's burning sensation in his back cede in and instant. Balthier straightens his shirt and siting in the chair on the other side of the room. "Sometimes it's better to be the one that dies."

Vaan stays where he was, gaze falling to the ground once again, contemplating what Balthier had just said. He supposed it was true. They're not the one left behind with lingering emotions to deal with. No love, no hate, no jealousy, just death. It seemed surreal to Vaan who then belatedly realized that Balthier was across the room.

"-Wait!" Vaan calls suddenly, louder than he had meant, stumbling across the room and falling into Balthier's lap. "But I want to. It's just that...Reks..." The comes out a whisper and Vaan lets his hands fall, sliding down Balthier's chest slowly.

"If you swear on that and let me continue then I'm not stopping until the end. I don't like leaving tasks half done," Balthier replies catching Vaan's distant gaze with his own.

It takes a second, and Vaan bites his lip, truly worried that saying yes would leave him scrambling to recover memories and pick up pieces in the morning. Finally, though, Vaan decides and licks his lower lip. He was determined this time. He surges forward and captures Balthier's lips in his own and shrugs out of his vest in way of response.