Summary : srthur returns from the forest of Balor with the antidote for Merlin. Unfortunately, it doesn't work as fast as it should. Arthur's POV as he waits for Merlin to get better. Set to lyrics from A Lonely September by The Plain White T's.
Disclamier: I don't own Merlin, the BBC have that pleasure. Lyrics belong to the Plain White T's.
A Lonely September
Arthur had returned from the forest of Balor three hours previously. Upon returning he had sprinted straight to Guais' rooms to give the old physician the antidote.
Said antidote had been given to Merlin almost immediately. Said antidote was still having little affect.
Arthur, for fear of losing his composure, and his will to stay awake had retired to his chambers. Sleep had been evading him for almost an hour when he gave up on the notion altogether and sat in his window instead.
He couldn't stop thinking, strangely enough about his Manservant. About Merlin
I'm sittin' here all by myself
Just tryin' to think of something to do
Tryin' to think of something, anything
Just to keep me from thinking of you
But you know it's not working out
'cause you're all that's on my mind
One thought of you is all it takes
To leave the rest of the world behind.
Merlin wasn't just his Manservant anymore, Arthur considered him his one true friend, considered him…
But no, he couldn't Love Merlin. Could he?
True, the boy made him smile, made him happy, even made him feel safe. And Arthur couldn't help but look forward to seeing him each morning, couldn't help but miss him every night. He could feel his heart breaking at the current precarious state in which Merlin's life hung. He couldn't imagine life without Merlin and didn't think he would want to live if his idiot Manservant, no, his idiot friend wasn't there sharing every moment with him.
Surely that wasn't love?
I'm sittin' here tryin' to convince myself
that you're not the one for me
But the more I think, the less I believe it
And the more I want you here with me
Even if he does love Merlin, he's the Crown Prince of Camelot and Merlin is his servant. Master / servant relationships are forbidden to cross the line of duty. Especially those where both parties are of the same gender. A servant is a servant and nothing more. But Merlin…Merlin is different. He's so much more.
What would the people of Camelot think of him? What would Morgana think of him? How would the court, one day to be his own court, react if they found out? And his Father….
His Father would have Merlin Executed. He would disgrace Arthur and have him restrained in the cells until he saw fit release him.
But Merlin… He'd be worth a lifetime in the cells…But he couldn't see him executed for him, no matter how willingly the idiot would give his life for Arthur.
I know it's not the smartest thing to do
We just can't seem to get it right
But what I wouldn't give to have one more chance tonight
One more chance tonight
A tightening in his chest brought him back to reality. How long had there been a lump in his throat? He was crying over Merlin….his Merlin. He had to tell him how he felt. Had to see him one last time…Just in case…
Calming himself down and wiping his face Arthur pulled on his boots and headed to Guais' rooms.
Reaching his destination Arthur walked straight in startling the old physician within.
"Sire, Prince or not, could you kindly knock in future?"
"Sorry Guais. How is he?" He asked crossing the room to stand by Merlin's limp form
"Still very little improvement I'm afraid sire." Guais answered worriedly
Arthur bent down and hit Merlin round the side of the head "Merlin you idiot!" Leaning closer he whispered "I love you"
Looking up to make sure the physician hadn't heard.
"Guais, do you think I'll be needing a new Manservant?" If only the lightness in his voice reached his heart
"I don't think so Sire. He should be doing better by morning. I think we all could use some rest." Guais said packing away bottles and books he'd been using
"I'll come by tomorrow then. Goodnight." Walking back to his chambers Arthur hoped with all his heart Merlin would indeed be doing better by morning.
