NARCISSA'S POINT OF VIEW
written by Casey
Disclaimer: All characters belong to JKR.
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She could recall the panic she felt as she searched the castle, searching for any glimpse of Draco, any sign that he was alive and well. Harry had informed her that he was still alive, something she held on to, in fear that she'd snap if she thought negatively. Each time she stumbled upon another lifeless body, her heart would speed up. Some of the bodies were barely recognizable, though she realized that they weren't Draco. A Mother's instinct, she felt it in her heart that he was still alive. Oh how she'd wished she'd been there for him sooner. It had taken much on both Narcissa and Lucius' parts, though they'd eventually been able to calm Draco. Afterwards, Narcissa hardly let him out of her sight, afraid that she was going to lose him again. This time, permanently.
Narcissa had always been the more overbearing, refusing to allow Draco to attend Durmstrang. The dark wizarding school was too far away from home, in her opinion. She'd grown so accustom to helping him, that she couldn't bear to think of him too far from her reach. Even though he attended a school closer to home, she'd sent him weekly care packages of sweets, which was a token of her love for her little boy. In her mind, he'd always be the three year old boy clutching onto his Mother's robes, his eyes widening with fascination as they walked into Honeydukes for the first time. Though he was now of age, she relished in the fact that he needed his Mother yet again, no matter how twisted it was. Had she been there for him sooner, he wouldn't have needed her. She hated herself for being unable to protect her baby boy--her only child from harm's way. Perhaps that was part of her reasoning for lying to the Dark Lord, though many could attest that Narcissa had always been good at lying. Manipulating others. Whatever the need be to save her own skin (or in this case, her family), she'd have done whatever was necessary.
Although she may not have realized it, it was also one of the first times that she had put her own life at stake, if only to save another.
The remainder of that night had been a quiet one, the entire Malfoy family keeping to themselves. Narcissa was too tired to fight, too tired to argue with anyone. Even Molly Weasley. She'd killed her sister Bellatrix, though Narcissa hadn't done anything to avenge her sister's death. While she hated that her sister was dead, she also felt a wave of relief wash over her. With Bellatrix gone, Cissy no longer had anyone to please. Many times Bella had voiced her opinion that were she in Narcissa's shoes, she'd gladly offer Draco up to the Dark Lord. Narcissa's patience was tested with every mention of putting her son in danger. Bellatrix would never be able to understand how it felt to be a Mother, the constant heartache she felt to watch her only son grow up right before her eyes.
Which was why Narcissa couldn't help but understand Molly Weasley's actions. Any mother would do whatever it took to protect their child. Narcissa would have done exactly the same, were someone to have attempted to hurt Draco. Though she didn't want to admit it, she most likely would have done the same to Bellatrix, had her sister turned on them and proceeded to attack Draco. Yet again, she hated herself for thinking this way. It was one of the reasons why Narcissa decided to visit Andromeda. Her sister. A word she hadn't associated with Andromeda for quite some time. Though, she was tired of holding grudges. There was no longer anything worth fighting for, she realized. In the end, the only thing that mattered most to her was family. No matter what they may have done in the past, they were still family nonetheless. Unfortunately, it took her years to come to this conclusion. Perhaps too many.
Standing somewhat awkwardly outside Andromeda's house, Narcisssa composed herself, bringing herself to knock. She'd been mulling over the thought of visiting Andromeda for a week or so, unable to fight it any longer. With Ted gone, Andromeda was left alone to take care of Teddy. Narcissa couldn't begin to imagine how her sister was feeling, having lost her husband, daughter and son-in-law within a short period of time. Nor did she know what she was going to say. Would Andromeda even answer the door? Even if she did, what next? Should she hug her? Offer words of comfort? Though, they both knew that comforting others wasn't exactly her strong point.
Looking up, her face paled as the door opened, feeling very much like her younger self -- back when things hadn't been confusing between the pair. "Hello." she began awkwardly. "I don't even know why I'm here." Nervously fiddling with her robes, she took a step back, preparing to leave. "I just wanted to see how you were doing. I see that you're alright," she said, her voice quavering slightly. Hesitant, she regarded Andromeda, her hands twitching at her side. Her cool demeanor broke as tears filled in her eyes, before spilling down her cheeks. "I'm sorry about what happened," she said sincerely, wiping at her eyes as she tried to compose herself. Though, she realized that it wasuseless, allowing the tears to continue to flow freely. "And I'm sorry about what I did to you."
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