Hey this is my first proper fanfiction, and it's a gintama one :3 It's quite serious in comparison to the most gintama fanfics, so please be kind :) Enjoy :D
Warnings:
Yaoi/Shoenen-ai
Language
Mild violence, references to blood.
Pairing: Gintoki x Hijikata
**PS: when they say 'Sakata' they mean Gin :D
It couldn't be helped. It had been quite a long time since they last crossed swords. Blood trickled from the silver haired youth's forehead as he heaved on the ground, unable to stand any longer. The blade at his throat trembled ever so slightly, as the user's injured hand buckled under the weight of it. Rust coloured eyes glanced upwards through the blood stained hair, staring into the other. A fox-like grin curled on the young man's face as he rose, trembling, the sword still threatening his throat.
"Alright…Toshiro….you win." the samurai's voice quivered slightly as the grin faltered. Blood dripped onto cold silver.
"I'm not falling for that you natural-perm bastard," the blade curved into his throat "I nearly lost my eye to you the last time you 'gave up'. No, I'm going to kill you and make sure you can't come back to haunt me." the silvered headed samurai grunted in amusement, having to close one eye as a red hue tainted his vision.
"Oh? Haunt you? You make it sound like I'm already a ghoul." he taunted, letting his stained wooden sword touch the ground. The other man simply smiled, making sure to cut into his throat just enough to hurt him, but not enough to sever an artery.
"Sakata, youare a ghoul. A silvery demon that never seems to cease in it's relentlessness to torment the lesser souls of this world," he closed his eyes and tightened his grip on the hilt of the sword "I'm going to make sure you don't torment my soul any longer." the samurai was about to make the final, fatal cut when he was alerted to the fact that the other man was wilting, intentionally or not pressing his throat more deeply into the blade. His shuddering breaths grew weaker and the remaining man stiffened as those dulled, haematic eyes engraved themselves into him one last time before he lost consciousness and collapsed heavily onto his side.
"H-Hey! Don't you dare die you little punk bastard!"
It couldn't be helped. It had been quite a long time since they last crossed swords.
The silver haired young samurai had underestimated his foe's capacity to learn by his previous mistakes, the demon Vice-Commander of the Shinsengumi had overestimated his foe's tolerance. The older man sipped a strong brew of piping hot tea gingerly as he allowed his to eyes trace the delicate contours of his foe's wounded body. His breathing was steady, but limited due to the bandaging of his chest and neck.
"Foolish…" he murmured as he cut an offending length of gauze from the other man's head. Those dull, lifeless eyes fluttered opened slightly to greet the gentle tugging of his bandage, they followed the young man's hand lazily to it's owner and gradually shut once more.
"Foolish…you have some nerve calling me that. You could have killed me you clumsy bastard." the younger man uttered softly, speaking slowly and clearly. Hijikata grunted in slight annoyance, taking another sip of his tea. He winced as his injured hand struggled to support the weight of the small liquid filled flask.
"Shut up, if I hadn't been there to save your sorry rear you'd be animal feed by now." regrettably, he knew that if he had never encountered him in the first instance that neither of them would be injured. Mistakenly nicking the femoral artery in the youth's leg was an amateurish folly; Hijikata was certain that the injury would have led to death if Gintoki had remained untreated for any longer. Though the two were bitter adversaries, neither of them would be content with expiring due to a common oversight. Respect and honour was highly valued. The silver headed man stirred, shifting his shoulders slightly. Wincing, he ceased movement and quickened his breaths, feeling the constriction on his throat caused him some obvious discomfort. Glancing up at the older samurai, he opened his mouth to speak. He needn't have bothered though. Hijikata gently manoeuvred his arm beneath his shoulders and cautiously lifted him, just enough to make sure his windpipe was straight enough so he wouldn't choke on the water he had been reticently glancing at. After a few shallow gulps, he refused to drink any more and was lowered softly to the futon. Hijikata sighed heavily and retrieved a packet of cigarettes and a lighter from deep within his robe. He recoiled in pain, cursing as he tried to light one of the cigarettes with the lighter; it had a stiff spark mechanism so he was then forced to use the other hand. The dark room burst into vibrant light for a few seconds before plummeting back into the peaceful darkness. Exhaling nosily, he contemplated leaving to allow the perm-headed youth to sleep in peace, but he thought better of it as the young man opened his eyes to stare at him.
Even though no emotion flittered into those dead looking eyes for a moment, he felt compelled to stay, as if he was staring at him in longing. Perhaps he wanted another drink. This emotionless expression was common in Gintoki and kept him fairly ambiguous to his enemies, it was a good trait to have from; a strategic point of view.
"Hey…Toshiro." the weak samurai's voice was quiet but crisp, it took the Vice Commander a little by surprise. Scoffing and taking a lazy drag from his cigarette, the older man breathed out quietly.
"That's Hijikata to you, you little punk. We're by no means on first name terms," he closed his eyes, wanting to avoid those seemingly devoid of life. "What is it?" Gintoki grunted in pain as he slowly lifted his arm out from underneath the blanket, extending it to Hijikata.
"You'll die if you move too much moron." Hijikata voiced flatly, taking Gintoki's trembling arm and lowering it back to the ground. A smile bloomed on the weakened soul's lips as he was firmly tucked into the futon, granting no means of movement.
"Thank you…Toshiro. I would never have forgiven you if you had let me…die on that battlefield under those circumstances. I would have…haunted you to your death." the youth stammered, his chest hitching slightly at the sheer effort needed to speak and breath concurrently. An amused, if somewhat exasperated laugh escaped his throat as he stared up at Hijikata's face. Hijikata merely grunted and continued smoking, turning his face away.
"I told you, it's Hijikata to you, asshole," he glared down at this pale, almost contrite face; not with hate, just with irritation, "I'll kill you if you say it one more…" there really was no point in continuing, as the young man had since retired into the arms of deep slumber. Hijikata mused to himself before putting out his cigarette and retreating from the room, as the youth was obviously resting adequately.
However, this was not immediately apparent, as the next morning when Hijikata decided to check in on him, he discovered that the young man was in the same condition as he was the night before. After carefully checking his pulse and breathing, Hijikata decided he should rouse him, just to make sure he wasn't slipping into a dangerous condition that he would need to be hospitalized for. Nudging his arm, he made sure he was firm, but not rough enough to hurt him.
"Hey Sakata. You'd better wake up you lazy son-nova-" he was cut off by the chilling groan that escaped the younger samurai's mouth; it punctured the very soul. Hijikata was sure he hadn't hurt him, nor had even managed to wake the man. Deeper groans of torment slowly, painfully emitted from the frail body until Hijikata could no longer dismiss it as mere pain from injury, but distress deep from within his mind. Those horrible cries he thought, are coming from the very depths of hell. With one swift jerk, the silver haired youth's eyes snapped open. Hijikata kneeled beside the bed shaking slightly as the other man shuddered and clenched his teeth from the sharp wrench that he had just given him. Taking a deep breath, Hijikata regained his usual composure and regarded Gintoki.
"Sorry, I got a little carried away when you didn't respond to my calls." the youth merely glared at him, malice clearly presenting itself in those normally so glazed eyes.
"Bastard, you meant that didn't you?! You just wanted to see me in pain you sadd-" he was cut off as he jerked backwards violently, cursing loudly. Pain so intense that he nipped his lower lip so hard a tiny sliver of blood trickled down his chin; his attempts to raise himself thoroughly thwarted. The older samurai clicked his tongue and, more caringly than he would usually act towards the bothersome man, casually wiped the blood away with his thumb.
"I warned you didn't I?" he was met with an aggrieved expression "I'll help you sit up; so I can change your bandages." It can't be helped I suppose, he thought fleetingly as he slowly made his way to the medical cupboard of his home. What else am I supposed to do? After retrieving the necessary supplies, he returned to the room and sat down beside the futon. Yawning, he routed around the little pile of medical paraphernalia for a small wooden pipe. Gintoki was teetering on the edges of unconsciousness when the other man shoved the offending object into his mouth.
"Bite down; this is going to hurt like a mother." the silver haired youth merely nodded in understanding and bit down, audibly, on the small piece of wood. The neat slice in Gintoki's chest was the main cause of his movement problems, stretching from just below his left nipple to his protruding right hip. Hijikata regarded this carefully as he cleaned the fairly shallow wound with medicinal balms and ointments. The younger samurai was generally well toned and firm for someone who spends most of his time either training or fighting, but disregarding that fact, he was also painfully thin. This suggested that while he trained he didn't eat or drink as much as he was burning off. As he finished wrapping the final piece of gauze around his chest, he secured it with a small strip of sticky medical tape.
"Right, that's that done," he wiped his clammy forehead wearily with the back of his good hand "I'll do your throat next and your leg last - a band-aid can be put on your forehead; you don't need bandaged there." he smirked as the younger man's face seemed to fall. Trembling trying to hold up the samurai, Hijikata manoeuvred himself behind him so that the weight would not strain his fractured hand. He cursed as a head of silver curls smashed into the side of his face.
"Will you be careful? I'll kill your sorry ass if you do anything like that again!" he roared as he tried to get himself stable. Breathing heavily, his eyes widened as he heard the plink of the small wooden object hitting the wooden floor not far from the futon. Could it have been a trick? No…he was far too badly wounded to do anything bold for now.
"If you wanted to kill me, you would have left me to drown in my own blood on that god forsaken field," Gintoki took as deep a breath as his dressings would allow, and exhaled slowly, shuddering slightly "Why are you doing this? Why not just let me die?" he tilted his head back so that it was almost touching Hijikata's, "Why are you taking such 'good' care of me? If I were you, I would be letting you suffer, rather than trying to avoid pain." Hijikata snorted in amusement as he punched the back of the youth's head, revelling in the abrupt yelp it produced.
"Who said I was trying to avoid hurting you?" he said softly as he removed the old bandage on his throat, "I have my morals; I'm not going to cut you down in this sorry condition. When I slaughter you, you'll be at your peak. I assure you of that." I have my morals, he repeated in his mind as he soothed the raw flesh with a numbing balm. Even though he had inflicted these wounds, even though he knew that he had every right to kill him; he didn't want to. It was difficult finding someone at the same legendary level of skill, the Demon Vice-Commander of the Shinsengumi enjoyed being able to throw his all at the enemy without hesitation - knowing that the enemy will ultimately prevail. An excuse to better myself he concluded. His thoughts were interrupted as an unexpected guest wrapped their knuckles noisy on the door.
"Excuse me, Vice Commander Hijikata? We need your assistance in training today - I know you cannot fight but advice would be generously welcomed." said the meek voice from the other side of the door. Hijikata felt Gintoki's larynx bob beneath his fingers as he swallowed uncomfortably.
"Hmph…is that so?" he spoke more to himself than the inquiring visitor, raising his voice, "That's fine, I'll be there soon Yamazaki." why did they send him? He wondered as he finished wrapping the bandage and secured it. Carefully lowering the young samurai to the futon, he stood up and rubbed his temple.
"Don't try anything funny you little punk bastard. When I come back I'll change the dressings on your leg." he voiced casually as he sauntered out of the room, not waiting for a reply. Tilting his head to the side, he managed to catch mumblings the user obviously thought was out of earshot and gave a 'I heard that you perm-headed asshole!' even though the words were unclear.
The truth was, no one needed help at all. No one except Hijikata. The bewildered samurai stood in shock as three of his peers confronted him, all with an aggressive demeanour that he didn't appreciate or fully comprehend. Sighing, he decided it would be best to act nonchalant and proceeded to light the cigarette he had carefully taken the time to already implant on his lips. Exhaling, he folded his arms and regarded the more worthy of the 3 - his Commander, Isao Kondo.
"So what's this about? I'm kind of busy." the other two stiffened at his blatant impertinence towards his superior. However, Hijikata knew when he was allowed to be insolent, and this was such a time.
"Toshi! Don't take that tone with me!" Kondo bellowed, gathering himself up "I want to know about this Sakata fellow! He's dangerous if he can injure you so! Is he the one they call the 'silver demon' Toshi? Is he?!" he cried, unwittingly showing his anxiety to his subordinates. Commander Kondo was a strong man with a kind heart; such displays were a natural occurrence, no one seemed to take notice anymore. Hijikata took a thoughtful draw from his cigarette and closed his eyes.
"Don't worry, he's not dangerous. That man wouldn't cause a fuss; he's not some mindless animal." he wouldn't do anything that required a shred of effort either he thought bitterly "Besides, don't act like you don't know him Commander; he is 'Odd-Jobs Gin'. The notorious slacker of the Yorozuya." no light seemed to spark in the apparently dim Commander's eyes, so Hijikata dismissed the notion with a wave of his hand.
"Never mind; don't worry I have everything under control." he said lazily before stalking out of the room. He knew this was at the height of disrespect, but he felt the need to leave. The air was so heavy with bloodlust and war; he knew if he projected the wrong image of the strong young samurai he was nursing, he would be facing a fatality disgracing his name. As he re entered the room of the youth, he was surprised to find him in only his boxers, tittering to himself as he tentatively wrapped thick bandaging around his wounded thigh. He was even more shocked when he rose to his feet unsteadily to greet him. Hijikata realised the expression he was making was unacceptable and twisted his face back into the stern glare that the samurai was more familiar with.
"I thought I told you no funny stuff." he said bluntly, cautiously taking a few steps towards him. Gintoki's lips curled into a delectable smile as he stalked Hijikata prudently.
"Yeah well…if I hadn't gotten the chocolate bar in my pants, I would be slurring unhinged mess by now." he retorted pertly, being sure to flash a childish grin in Hijikata's direction. Gintoki was known for his sluggishness and lack of enthusiasm; it never occurred to Hijikata that it might be a medical condition.
"If you needed a sugar fix, why didn't you just say?" Hijikata inquired with genuine interest. Gintoki merely shrugged, his smile faltering slightly as he fingered the bandage near his jugular.
"You did a good job of wrapping me up like a mummy. I appreciate it." he uttered mockingly as he held his neck with his hand, causing his elbow to jut out "I'm healing up quite nicely." Hijikata scoffed as he circled the youth, blatantly aware that the wound on his neck hadn't even entered the reconstruction phase of healing as a browning strip close to where his hand was suggested. He also knew that Gintoki's legs were shaking faintly.
"For the love of god sit down you fool; you'll split the artery in your leg and bleed to death all over my floor." he yelled in annoyed tone, uncovering a small porcelain bottle within the cabinet close to him. With it and two cups in his wounded hand, he sat down next to the surprising obedient samurai and handed him one of the cups. The younger man darted his dull, rust-coloured eyes at Hijikata, and then to the sake.
"I'm off duty, and technically you're my guest so don't worry about it." he spoke knowingly, almost in irritation, pouring the strong scented liquor into the shallow cup. In one swift movement he downed the translucent liquid, and quivered as the familiar, comforting warm sensation flowed down his throat and collected in his belly; proceeding to warm his body and relax him. He was relaxed further when he heard a soft, contented sigh from his companion. Pouring himself and the younger man another drink, he mused over the thought of complete intoxication. Holding the cup to his lips, he peered over the shimmering liquid to regard his relaxed partner. Blissfully unaware of his intentions, the young man proceeded to down another cup. Cheeks flushed slightly, he graciously held his cup out for more. Hijikata observed that while he was obviously becoming inebriated more quickly because of his generally empty stomach, his eyes and posture remained the same. The wiser samurai obliged, pouring another stiff drink. Hijikata cautiously sipped his sake, closing his eyes as the comforting numbing process was beginning to take place within his body. He sighed quietly and glanced at his companion, who returned the glance. Hijikata chuckled and relaxed his tense body, no longer feeling the threat of the youth.
"You should slow down, you're going to regret it in the morning." Gintoki almost scowled at this assumption and defiantly held his cup out for more.
"I can hold my drink, don't worry about that Toshiro." he said with utter confidence. This only sparked another laugh from Hijikata and the sound of liquid filling a small area quickly. He knew that he should stay sharp and alert, but something from this young man seemed to flow into the ones who were around him, in a pleasantly infectious sort of way. Realising he was smiling, he knew he had drank too much; only because that he too, had an empty stomach. He was surprised when the silver headed man sighed, not in contentment, but seemingly in anguish. At first he thought it was perhaps the frustration of his injuries, but it seemed to be much deeper than that. Even his eyes seemed to be burning with some strange, ambivalent emotion. Hijikata thought about asking him what was wrong, but thinking better of it he extended the bottle of sake to Gintoki, satisfied with his instincts as the other man smiled appreciatively and accepted another drink. There was something pleasant about the way the man drank, as if mentally considering all other options before each sip, inevitably choosing to numb whatever sorrows he might have concealed every time. He always seemed to consider it though. After taking the last sip of his current drink, the other samurai closed his eyes and seemed to contemplate something meaningful, before turning to Hijikata and smiling.
"This is some nice stuff, isn't it?" he said quietly, almost graciously, his speech slightly slurred. The soft pink hue to his cheeks pleased Hijikata, for he was looking unhealthily pale even for someone with naturally paler skin to begin with. He looked healthy. The older samurai assumed that he was fully intoxicated now, due to the fact he was pleased about his enemy's condition. Taking a breath, he swallowed what was left in the cup and placed it on the floor in front of him. Gintoki seemed to watch him intently, as he dug around in his robes looking for his packet of cigarettes. Finding what he had been searching for, he pulled one of the sticks from the carton with his mouth and lit it, almost forgetting about his broken hand. It worried him that the other man was now very quiet, sheepish even as he stared contently at what he was doing. However dulled his senses had become, he was still threatened slightly. He cursed with a delayed reaction to using his injured hand, stroking the top of the hand softly, he had to force himself not to scream out when he realised Gintoki has gotten very close, very quickly. Staring into those haematic orbs, he did not detect any malice or hate, nor slyness or deviousness; only the same listlessness as before. His eyes lazily fell to the hand Hijikata was cradling, he found himself following them, so that both men focused they're attention on the hand. Gintoki sniffed and wiped his nose as his eyes came back up to meet Hijikata's, seemingly a side effect of the amount of alcohol he'd drank.
"Can I see?" he said oddly. The older samurai tried to reason why he would want to inspect the hand, but could find none obvious. He then hesitated as he realised it could have been a plot to disable him from preventing escape; causing him to lose conscious as he twisted the broken hand, breaking it even more. Of course, he dismissed it soon after thinking it as those lifeless eyes drilled into his own. Somewhat reluctantly, he held out his hand and observed what Gintoki did. It all seemed too innocent to him. He gasped audibly when Gintoki gently stroked the injured limb with one hand, whilst holding it firmly with the other. The silver haired youth's eyes widened slightly and he stopped what he was doing to regard Hijikata.
"Ah sorry…I didn't mean to hurt you. Did I hurt you?" Hijikata felt the rough skin of the younger male's hand gliding over the dressings, tenderly, without ill intentions. Gintoki ran a finger over some exposed skin of the fingers, causing the older man to jerk slightly. The feeling was not unpleasant, but it was unnerving. He turned his head away to exhale the smoke, not wanting to be rude and breath it into the other's face.
It was then that it happened of course, when he least expected it. Hijikata froze, breathless as he felt warm, soft flesh touch his own. He had just enough conscious to turn his head and look down at the silver haired youth, the silver demon, as he withdrew his lips from his exposed fingers. The urge to punch the man across the room grew so strong he physically started to tremble from the pressure building inside his muscles. However, when the youth stared up at him with those huge cow eyes, the feeling all but disappeared, as though the thought had never occurred. His eyes had not changed of course, but something behind them had.
"My mother….always used to do that when I hurt myself when I was a kid." he said vaguely, turning his attention back to Hijikata's hand. Mother…thought Hijikata as he stared at the young samurai, not sure how to approach the situation, what to do, what to say. He feared even with all his wits about him he would be dumbfounded on what to do. However, Gintoki made that decision for him, as he drew himself up so that he was nose to nose with him. Deep, red rust eyes seemed to devour him as curious fingers gently traced the edges of his jaw. These eyes seemed to have something though, a strangely innocent fascination about them, like that of a child. A thumb came off its course and tentatively brushed against Hijikata's trembling lower lip. The urge to run was unbelievably, nothing else entered his mind but the primal urge to defend himself from something he feared. He could not move. His body was aching from the sheer strain of trying to move his stiff, uncooperative limbs.
"I've always…admired Toshiro. I've always thought you were stronger than anyone else…I didn't want to hurt you…" the shock of hearing the young man's voice shattered the temporary spell he was under, and he managed to smack the hand away from his face.
"D-Don't touch me!" he screamed, backing away; causing the cigarette to fall from his mouth and gently smoulder on the tatami mat beneath him. Gintoki observed it until it lost its life, then concentrated on Hijikata once more. He crawled on his hands and knees until he backed the fearful samurai against the wall at the far side of the room. A smile of satisfaction crawled across his face as he closed in on him. The threat that he might kick him across the room didn't seem to bother the natural-perm youth as he kept over the tops of his knees and made sure his face was very close to the other's. Hijikata could no longer take the submissive role and lunged at the young samurai, hurtling them both across the room, smashing into their previous sitting area. A painful squeal from the younger male suggested submission, but a hand shot out from seemingly nowhere to grab a fist-full of the older samurai's thick black hair. Hijikata was overwhelmed from this as he tried to escape the silver demon's clutches. He failed though, and stared ahead almost blinding. Pink cheeks obscured his vision, as well as curly silver locks licking his face. Warm, soft lips tenderly suckled at his own; slowed breathing and a tentative stroke of his collar bone alerted him to what was actually happening. He felt as though he could no longer draw breath, the strands of hair that were almost ripping from his scalp were not his main concern. No, it wasn't the way that Gintoki's lips curled around his own, sucking softly, silently begging for permission. The most frightening thing, to Hijikata's knowledge, about this whole situation…was that he desperately, shamelessly, wanted to give it to him. The older samurai's eyes widened, his brow knitted as the silver haired youth slid his tongue lazily across his lower lip, begging desperately for permission to enter, his hot, gasping breath as his tongue retreated momentarily sent shivers racing down his spine. In reluctance, Hijikata swallowed hard…
It seems….it couldn't be helped.
…and opened his mouth.
I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it ^^ There will be much more in the next chapter, so I hope you will tune in for that also :D
Could you please review and tell me what you thought of it? Thank you, it would make me very happy :3
And in hindsight - Merry Christmas everyone, and a happy new year!
