Chapter 1: Lost at Sea
"Double-D! Oy, Sockhead!"
A harsh, ear-splitting voice called through the air. Edd looked up from the bag he was giving attention to—filled with various miscellany for their newest scam—and turned his head to the origin of the voice.
"Yes?"
"How about you stopped ogling yer bag and actually help me set up the scam?"
Edd sighed and picked himself up from the ground, neurotically wiping off even the most minute amount of dirt from his purple shorts. This day was simply another repetition of another scam they did in the past, with a few notable differences. After a night or two of shooting ideas around—bringing up failed scams that had almost succeeded in the past like Eddy's Creek Cruise—, Eddy had came up with the Ed's Sailing School.
The premise was simple; they were to use a few boats and a canoe they had lying around their house—they were unused for a very long time and their families had shown no intent on using them anytime soon, so if they had managed to wreak it, it would be at no one's expense—, to hold a sailing lesson course at the creek. The Eds had a sailboat, a motorboat and a canoe, each being able to accommodate three people.
Edd's bag was filled with various essentials, which include but not limited to instructional books on sailing, a first aid kit in case things go wrong (and this was a scam, it was a very likely possibility) and his pedal steel guitar (much to Edd's general ire).
"Monobrow, go get the pigeons, this will be the day things goes exactly as planned!" Eddy smiled. Ed saluted the smaller boy and ran off towards the direction of their cul-de-sac, soon leaving Eddy and Edd alone.
As Eddy carefully placed the boats onto the water and securing them to the shore, one at a time, he caught wind of Edd with a river map of the eponymous creek.
"Double-D, what are you doing?" the annoyed boy asked as he secured the canoe with a rope.
"Plotting out a route through the creek. I'll endeavor to make sure, this time, our little swindling business won't fail." answered Edd coolly, returning to writing out the scam's route.
"Yeah sure, you do that."
"We just need to sail downstream, take a right at the first fork, then a left at the next one, and we should flow right back here after forty-seven minutes from our departure." Edd told Eddy, though it was abundantly clear he didn't bother to keep up after he had said 'downstream'.
Five minutes passed by and Ed had returned with all six of the cul-de-sac children, each with varying degrees of interest.
"Great, what is it this time?" asked Kevin gruffly, tone mixed in with slight annoyance.
Edd smiled, "Well, it is a sailing lesson that takes us down the creek. Would any of you like to take part?"
"Well, it sounds pretty nice, so maybe—" Sarah started before Eddy had drowned her out.
"Sockhead shut yer yap! I'm on PR here, so you just stand there and look pretty!" Eddy reprimanded Edd sharply, whom took in a sharp hiss and reluctantly went silent.
Eddy grabbed a white-red megaphone and tapped microphone, letting out a brief moment of feedback before he called out, "HEY AND WELCOME TO ED'S SAILING SCHOOL! WE'LL TAKE YA ON A LIFECHANGING JOURNEY DOWN THE CREEK! COME BE THIS GENERATION'S SAILORS AND HAVE AN EXPERIENCE THAT LASTS FOR A LIFETIME—!"
Before Eddy could continue, the megaphone suddenly shuts off, much to everyone's relief, with no one noticing Edd tossing the megaphone batteries off to the side carelessly.
"Aaand just like that, I changed my mind. C'mon Jimmy, let's blow this joint!" snorted Sarah snobbishly. She grabbed the compliant Jimmy's hand and started to make her way back to Rethink Avenue, but Edd quickly intercepted their path.
"Wait! Please reconsider!" Edd pleaded, "The first lessons will be completely free of charge!"
"Free of charge?! I didn't consent to this!" protested Eddy hotly.
"Well, unlike you, I don't care about the profits and the monetary gains, but rather knowledge imparted to the public that I hope one day come to use."
"Ugh that's so corny you could grow it into a crop." groaned Kevin.
"C'mon Kevin! Give it a chance! Because I will!" the more enthusiastic Nazz said, "This could be fun!"
"Gugh...if she's going, I'm going. No way in heck I'm leaving her with you three dorks."
"One must keep an eye on Kevin boy, yes? Rolf shall accompany him on his adventure."
"An awesome sailing adventure? Count me and Plank in!"
"I'm going just so I can get a reason to tell Mom on you."
"Well, if she's going I will accompany her."
"Perfect! Board your sea-faring vessel of choice and we'll set sail!" Edd exclaimed excitedly.
After a few moments, they had fitted themselves bright orange life jackets and boarded each boat, with Rolf and Jonny following Eddy on the motorboat in the lead, Jimmy and Sarah with Ed on the canoe, and Nazz and Kevin with Edd on the sailboat in the rear.
Eddy fiddled with a walkie-talkie Edd had gave to him and Ed, "Hey, this thing on?"
Edd quickly bounded out of his seat and grabbed a walkie-talkie attached to the mast, "Roger Eddy, all communications are in working order and perfectly operational. Over."
"Great," Eddy smiled and jumped to his feet, rocking the boat slightly, and cupped his hands together, "Everyone! I'll lead us down the creek! Try not to get left in the dust!"
He bent down and switched the motor from medium to slow, so to keep the others from losing him.
"Toast!" Ed shouted from his position in the canoe, much to Jimmy's and Sarah's confusion.
"Ed, you have to say 'Row', not 'Toast'. Over."
"Gravy!" shouted the thick-skulled boy in lieu of 'Toast'.
"Can I take over?"
"Well, it wouldn't change things too much, so I suppose it's acceptable."
"Hooray!" cheered Jimmy, "Row!"
The canoe trio stroked the oars against the waters.
"Row!" Jimmy repeated, and the canoe gained speed.
"Well, it seems you have acclimated to this, I'll just leave you to it then. Over and out." the boy turned off the walkie-talkie and hooked it back to the mast. Edd turned towards Nazz and Kevin, "As I readjust the sails to the winds' direction, you're more than welcomed to explore the vessel as you please."
Nazz walked towards the side railings and bent her body a little over the side, feeling the wind rippling her hair, "Hey this is fun!"
Something out of the corner of her eyes entered her vision as her eyes slowly floated to the front of the ship, "'The Intelligence'?"
"The name I had christened to my ship." smiled Edd.
"Figures." groaned Kevin.
"Hey, you guys been keeping up with the news lately? There are some juicy bits I think you two would like."
The two males perked up and gave Nazz their attention.
"There's been reports of freak activities out in the ocean as of late. Ships suddenly vanishing off the ocean and the face of the Earth after a storm and all communications to them have failed. People then restricted water travels so it wouldn't happen as much. As far as oceanographers and meteorologists are concerned, it just happens at random; no pattern, frequency, just at random. I was thinking about it after I got on the boat."
"A curious phenomena for sure, but one that I'm just as surely have a scientific and logical explanation." it was common knowledge by now, but Edd was a firm believer in common sense and science; he was always skeptical towards the apparent supernatural and paranormal.
The walkie-talkie suddenly flared to life with a short hum of intermittent buzzing, and Jimmy's voice echoed out, "Hello? Over."
"Is something of the matter, Jimmy? Over."
"I was thinking we should race each other to pass the time. Over."
"Now we're talking," said Kevin with a competitive edge in his voice.
"Well, I suppose this is acceptable. As long as you keep track of the stream, we should be fine. Also, Ed?"
"Hi hi!"
"Ed, since Jimmy is technically your disciple, I will appoint you head captain of the canoe, though Jimmy can still say the rowing call. Over."
"What about me?" questioned Sarah's voice from the walkie-talkie.
"I suppose you will be Ed's co-captain; you'll take over if in any situation Ed can't. Over and out."
From behind him, Kevin said, "Can we actually race now?"
"GO!" Suddenly, a roar of a starting engine reverberated through the stream and the motorboat suddenly charged downwards the creek.
"See ya!" echoed Jonny's voice from the motorboat, with him and the vessel vanishing from sight the longer they waited.
"Pursue them, my marine mateys!" Ed shouted, and Jimmy called, "Row! Row! Row!"
The canoe slowly increased in speed, propelling the canoe forward down towards the horizon and turning the boat into another speck in the sailboat's vision.
"Well, I suppose we should give chase, or else this wouldn't even be a race." chuckled Double-D. He pulled tightly on the line, and the sail caught a strong wind, pushing the boat at a moderately fast pace. Kevin and Nazz stood up and leaned their face against the wind.
"Woohoo!"
The Intelligence then gently curved to the right, leading them to a deeper part of the woods and the creek. Just ahead, Edd saw Eddy had took a left turn and already had left his sight. Not good.
"Not good. Kevin, take the line." Kevin stood up and quickly seized control of the sail while Edd grabbed hold of the walkie-talkie.
"Eddy, please turn back, that's not how our route goes. Over."
"What? Scared we'll beat ya?" laughed Eddy tauntingly.
"You don't understand, the path you took is an uncharted one, I have no idea where that goes and you could be anywhere!" cried Edd, though it was obvious his warnings had fallen on deaf ears as Eddy clicked off the communications device before Edd had a chance to finish his sentence.
Edd grunts and clicked the walkie-talkie again.
"Intelligence to Torpedo, come in, do you hear me?"
"Hello? What's wrong?" answered Jimmy.
"We have an...unforeseen complication in the plan. Turn left at the next fork. Over."
"But...didn't you said it was uncharted?"
"I don't like where this is going." from behind him, Edd could vaguely hear Nazz whispering under her breath.
"We have no choice. We simply can't abandon Eddy, Rolf and Jonny in unknown waters, we will have to give chase to them and hope they didn't venture out too far down. Over."
"Understood. Crew! Stroke only to the left and row! Over and out! Erm...did I say it right?"
"Yes. Over and out." hanging the walkie-talkie back on the mast, he quickly took control of the boat and started to slowly navigate their way down the creek.
A little over an hour has passed, and the mouth of the river slowly opened up to a wider body of water, where he found the Torpedo bobbing slightly next to the motorboat, whose motor was seen emitting copious amounts of smoke into the air. Edd didn't like it at all.
"Eddy, did you just used up all the gas in our previous race?" uttered Edd with a voice of disbelief.
"Yeah, he did! Now we can barely move in any direction because of 'im!" complained Jonny, glaring furiously at the now-nervous scammer.
"W—What? Didn't we win?" Eddy said in a proud tone in a failing attempt to cover up his nervousness.
"Eddy, we're essentially stranded now." Almost as if on cue, an ominous boom of thunder cracked somewhere off in the distance.
"Oh man! Now look at what you did, Dorky!" Kevin shouted in fury, who had returned his accusation with an extremely red face and angry scowl, but before he could retaliate—
"Gentlemen! Now is not that time to be forming accusation!" Edd quickly reproached the two boys, "We just need to dock at the closest shore immediately!"
"Good idea, Double-D! With just one minor question; where's even anything?" Sarah questioned. Edd quickly scoped their surroundings only to realize they had float further away from the shore than he had realized. Heavy fog had settled in and obscured their field of vision massively, complicating everything even further.
"Curses...!"
Edd quickly grabbed a radio beneath his seat instead of the walkie-talkie on the mast and started switching his frequency to various emergency services, "This is the Intelligence, the Torpedo, and the Fisher. Can anyone hear me? Over."
No response. Edd grew desperate.
"I repeat, this is the Intelligence, the Torpedo, and the Fisher. Can anyone hear me? Over."
"Yeah, we can!"
Everyone's collective hearts dropped.
"Don't tell me..." started Eddy.
Emerged dramatically from the fog was a pink-colored ship, somewhat bigger than the Intelligence and comfortably holding the three Kanker sisters, all grinning devilishly at the frightened cul-de-sac children.
"H—H—Have—Have you been following us all this time?" quavered Edd's voice.
"Well excuse us for wanting to spend some time with our boyfriends." snickered Lee, placing heavy emphasis on 'excuse' for some reason. The cul-de-sac children giggled nervously, only for Edd to interrupt.
"People, please! We're adrift in an unknown location!"
Another ominous clap of thunder, this time growing closer.
"Great!" groaned the sarcastic Marie and turned towards the antsy Lee, "I told you it was a stupid idea to float down an uncharted river!"
Lee gave Marie a firm smack, "Complainin' won't help no one!"
"She's right," Nazz agreed, "all this complaining won't get us back home."
"Very well then. Eddy, secure a line to my ship and we can tow you. Stick close together and we'll sail back to our home soon."
"And we got a GPS, so finding our way back home should be a lot easier!" May quickly fidgeted around in her pockets and took out the device, only to gasped once she saw the display.
"What is it with your doo-dad?" Rolf asked curiously.
"W—We're in the ocean!"
"No way, that gizmo must glitchin' out!" protested Lee.
"No...she's right. We must be far away from the mainland by now." as he spoke, the musk of seawater had suddenly surrounded him, and judging by the faint sniffling under the waves, he could tell everyone else smelled it too.
The waters grew choppier and a furious rain started to develop above them.
"I repeat! This is the Intelligence, the Torpedo and the Fisher calling for assistance! Can anyone hear me?! Over!" Edd cried over the radio, tone pleading. The winds quickly picked up and the waves grew increasingly violent. Everyone held tightly to whatever would give them support.
"This is frightening! I'm scared!" Jimmy quivered violently in the cold rain.
"Plank's scared too!" Jonny held Plank closer.
"People, please! Keep your calm! The worst will come if we lose our countenance!" Edd cried in a futile attempt to restore order, despite the fact he was just as frightened as everyone else on the inside.
"As the captain of our voyage, I'll step up and save us all!" proclaimed Eddy in a bold voice, stepping up to his feet. A harsh wave slapped against the boat and Rolf quickly pulled Eddy down to his seat.
"Your folly is what has lead us to this conundrum, profit-minded Ed-boy!" shouted Rolf from his seat.
—トントーン!!
This time, the crash of lightning was visible, the fog grew thicker until their surroundings grew terrifyingly dark, and the waters grew increasingly violent, sending harsh and vicious tremors to the ships.
"Sarah~!" wailed Jimmy and clung to the red-haired girl in panic, who had returned him with a tight hug to console Jimmy. The older kids stared skywards at the violent sea storm in terror and disbelief.
"I—I don't understand! What is this unseasonable storm?!" yelled Edd, seated in front of a monitor on his ship. Prior to the scams, he had outfitted his ship with multiple pieces of technology and weather equipment, among of the many was a handmade but accurate barometer, and he was so thankful he had the foresight to bring one along.
The machine beeped hurriedly, almost like a technological rhythm accompanying the rumbling storms and howling winds. From above, the sail whipped violently in the gale, flicking the Intelligence back and forth so harshly Kevin was nearly thrown overboard off the ship.
"This just doesn't make any bit of sense! A storm of this intensity and magnitude would have been forecasted far before we would get caught up in it!" wailed Edd in disbelief. From behind him, Kevin shouted, "DUDES, WATCH OUT!"
Edd quickly looked up and saw a goliath wave towering over the four ships. They braced themselves and held tightly onto their ships as the wave washed over them directly.
"Help!" Sarah cried and Edd looked back. While the Intelligence, the Fisher and the Kankers' boat were left relatively untouched, the Torpedo had capsized after the wave had passed over them. Ed and Jimmy clung tightly to the Torpedo's overturned hull, but his sister/friend was left drowning in the vicious maelstrom, gargling in the saltwater as she slowly sank beneath the waves.
"Sarah!" Ed and Jimmy cried. The duo took in a deep breath and immediately dove into the currents, the water swallowing them and the canoe up almost instantly as they left to save Sarah.
"Guys, it's coming back!" Nazz warned.
The remaining nine children gasped and braced for impact as another wave towered and sloshed over them.
A bright light, not a stroke of lightning, suddenly filled the air around them and faded away as quick as it came. When the wave had passed over them again, Edd was dumbfounded by the fact the Intelligence was still left standing. However, this time the wave had claimed the Fisher and its' passengers, leaving no trace that they were there behind. The Kankers also weren't holding up well; their boat was seen filling up with water at a dangerous pace, slowly being dragged into the water. The Kankers didn't fare better, as the three sisters quarreled angrily with each other just as much as they are trying to save their own doomed ship.
ドーン!!
Another clap of lightning struck again, but this time right at a vital spot; the mast of the Intelligence head on. The force tipped one half of the Intelligence sharply into the sea, catapulting Kevin straight into the unforgiving currents.
"K—Kevin!" cried the despairing Nazz, throwing out an arm to the thrashing Kevin.
"Grk!—Nazz—!" choked Kevin.
But another wave had crashed and passed the ship, and another flash filled their vision. When the light had died away, Kevin and the Kankers' ship was swallowed up into the indiscriminate sea.
"The storm's rain had short-circuited my poor machinery." gaped the frightened Edd, his last ace in the hole being taken away from him. Undistilled fear filled his heart as he spoke to the last remaining passenger of the Intelligence: Nazz.
Suddenly, the sea suddenly hurled a chunk of wood from the remains of the Torpedo straight at Nazz's head, knocking her out cold. Edd, witnessing the event, quickly disengaged the controls and dashed towards her body, uncaring of the fact that the ship was without a navigator. On most days, Edd would be rather shy and fidgety around the opposite gender, but today was obviously not one of those most days, with fear and panic gripping his heart so tightly it overrode his compulsion to feel awkward or sweaty around Nazz, and nothing but thoughts of keeping the blonde safe zipped through his brain.
Another wave, this time double the size of the previous waves, towered over the small ship. The sloshing water and the heavy winds sounded almost like howling of monsters and mocking laughter to Edd's ears.
"I won't let you take another one of my compeers!" cried Edd, and protectively layered his body over Nazz's limp one as the wave descended upon them, nearly launching them towards the opposite direction. But just as when the storm was about to fade away, the lightning made one last-ditch attempt to take the two remaining children out and crashed right towards the tip of the mast, with the shockwave being potent enough to launch Edd right towards the Intelligence's railings, knocking him unconscious on contact. Before his vision could fade to black, Edd saw a large pillar of light slowly engulf the black storm from afar, and his consciousness plunged right into the realm of unconsciousness.
さふんーん…さふんーん…
The sound of gentle waves crashing against the Intelligence was the first thing Edd heard when he had stirred back to consciousness. Edd smacked his lips together then made the vague figure of a frown when he discovered not all of his senses had returned just yet. Slowly his other four senses returned to him; touch, vision, smell, and much to his disgust, taste, and along with it the flavor of bitter salt water.
The boy quickly hawked a wad of spit and salt water out of his mouth and scrambled to his feet, "Where am I?"
Edd peered over the railings all around him to see the ocean encompassing him in every direction, much to his displeasure. He glanced behind him and saw the all of the electronics were hissing and put out of commission forever and the sails were left asunder after the storm. Suddenly, the face of a familiar blonde floated to his mind and his concern quickly doubled back in intensity.
"Oh goodness, Nazz!" Edd cried and quickly paced to her figure. The boy gently but firmly rocked her back and forth, "Nazz, please wake up!"
"Ngh..." the blonde's eyelids slowly fluttered open, and Edd smiled in relief, seeing as she was most definitely still alive.
"Double-D? What happened? And where are we?"
"I know just as much as you when it comes to that, Nazz," Edd said. The sun was seen hovering closely over the horizon's edge, signifying the start of the day, and judging that the disaster had started sometime during the afternoon, Edd had guessed they were left unconscious and stranded in the sea all night.
"Where're our friends?" asked the worrying Nazz.
"Gone, possibly exanimated. The cursed sea has taken our dear peers away from us." Edd answered grimly.
"No way, they're still alive, probably just separated. They're fine for sure!" Nazz exclaimed, trying her best to be optimistic.
"That is highly improbable." said Edd doubtfully.
"They're fine for sure, Double-D. If we're alive after that freak storm, then I'm sure everyone else is too! You just gotta be hopeful."
"Even if our peers were still alive and well, we wouldn't know if they're thriving or not; all of our means to interact with them were taken away from us." groaned Edd hopelessly. Not only were the Intelligence's radios and technology were permanently destroyed, but their neighbors were left stranded in the sea with absolutely of no way of contacting them.
The two remaining Cul-de-sac children silently mourned the possible loss of their friends and companion as they slowly bobbed through the waves. Nazz stared over Edd's shoulder and said, "Hey, is that a town I see?"
Edd looked behind him and saw right off the distance what appears to be a town. It was most definitely a port town, seeing how it was opened to the sea and how there was a single dock that presumably allowed for ships to dock at the town if needed. Edd's heart soared with joy, now that they found a possible sanctuary.
"Hey Double-D, do you think we could sail over there and get some help?"
"Hmm..." Edd hummed thoughtfully and appraised the Intelligence's worn sail, "I believe so. The sail is all torn up, but I believe it's intact enough to catch the wind and propel us forward."
Despite the sail being intact enough to propel them forward, it had still taken them the better part of the hour to approach the town. When they had come close to the dock, Nazz had found a sign right by the water.
"I'm still a little groggy from what just happened, can you read it for me?"
"I believe it says, 'Welcome to Rogueport'."
Yeah...another Mario/EE'nE crossover story! This time, it's another remake of the famous Edventure of the Thousand Year Door, written by legendofzeldarocks. Unlike the last remake, this one will focus on improving the prose, the character dialogue, and grammar, so it won't really change the story plot all that drastically. Unlike my other stories, this one will be more frequently updated, because it has a base I can work with, so expect a next update within the next week. Until then, bye bye!
