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Link: A Parody of DreamWork's "Shrek". Um. Shrek copyrighted to DreamWorks, and any Legend of Zelda character is copyrighted to Nintendo. ^-^

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~ The scene is um...nowhere... Okay, it's somewhere...but I don't know where it is, so it's nowhere! Fine! It's in Link's forest somewhere... ~

Disembodied Voice: "Once upon a time, there was a lovely princess. But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort that could only be broken by love's first kiss. She was locked away in a castle guarded by a terrible fire-breathing dragon. Many brave knights had attempted to free her from this dreadful prison, but none prevailed. She waited in the dragon's keep in the highest room of the tallest tower for her true love and true love's first kiss."

Link: Yeah, like that would ever happen! What a load of- *Tears off some toilet paper, wipes his arse and flushes the toilet, although how can you flush the toilet in an outhouse...?*

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~ Okay, we aren't going to go through the opening credits part or anything, so the next scene is somewhere in Link's forest. ~

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Saria: Um... Why are we here again? I mean, you guys know I have a crush on Link. o.o

Mido: Come on, Saria! We can swipe this guy for money! All right? Let's go!

Saria: WAIT! You know what Link can do to us, right?

Mido: Come on! That no-fairy guy can't do anything to us!

Shopkeeper Dude: He'll grind our bones for its bread!

Mido: ...What are you on? Crack or something? Come on, we're not staying here all night!

Disembodied Voice: *Laughs* Actually, that's uh... Morpha! Yeah! Morpha does that stuff!

Mido: Morpha? How can Morpha even do that? He doesn't have any stinking fingers for crying out loud. And how do I even know who Morpha is if I have never been out of the Kokiri Forest?

Link: (Just read the script!) Now, Hylians! They are even worse! They'll make a SUIT out of your freshly peeled skin!

Shopkeeper: No!

Mido: Don't believe this guy.

Link: They'll shave your liver!

Mido: How can your liver be shaved? It doesn't have hairs. It's nothing but tissue!

Link: They'll squeeze the jelly out of your eyes! Actually, that's quite good on toast!

Mido: Hold on a second! Jelly? Out of my eyes? Now, I have heard blood being in your eyes, but jelly? I'm just going to laugh at that one.

Link: *Sighs* Come on, Mido! Do you have to ruin everything?

Mido: Yes.

Saria: *Grabs a local torch* Back, my love! I mean...you beast! Back! *Waves the torch*

Link: *Takes out an ice arrow and shoots the torch, therefore putting it out*

Saria: *Gasps*

Mido: Riiiiiiiiiiiight...

Link: *Pauses* ROAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!!!

Everyone Except Mido and Link: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!

Link: ROAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!!

EEMAL: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

Link: *Stops* Now this is the part...where you... RUN!

Mido: Why should we run away?

Shopkeeper: Let's just go!

Mido: Fine! *Runs away with Shopkeeper and Saria*

Link: *Laughs* And stay out! *Watches a piece of paper fly out of Mido's um...tunic/suit/thing and picks it up* "WANTED: HYRULE CREATURES". *Sighs*

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~To be continued...

~Please note that the first line of the Disembodied voice came right off the script. O.o

Chelsea: Okay, you know what? My stupid Microsoft Word is being a big butthole and won't format my 'fic correctly, so if this looks really messed up, blame it on Bill Gates, and MicroCrap. -.-