Ok, I hope this humors most of you…please, please, please R&R

Fat Jacob

Bella's POV:

I had no idea why Jacob wouldn't answer my notes. I had been sending him lots of them and no answers. I didn't understand. i was oblivious. We were best friends when he-Edward- was gone, why couldn't we be now? I was pondering all of this while Charlie was obliviously burning dinner. "No dad, you have to take off the lid to the sauce BEFORE you put it in the microwave. And stir the noodles occasionally. And, and look at that! You've burned the bread! What are we going to use to substitute the bread? And don't get me wrong, but since when do you cook?"

"I don't know, I felt like cooking! I can cook in my own house."

"Oh. Okay then."

"Oh yeah, I wanted to let you know that I'm going on an all weekend fishing trip with Harry, and Billy tomorrow. You'll be okay here?"

"Fun! I have some homework to catch up on, and I think I'm cleaning the house too so don't worry I'll be fine." I lied.

"Ok" was the last word we spoke to each other that night. I was surprised when Charlie hadn't grounded me when I decided to travel across the world on a whim-more or less that's what he thought-with Alice.

What had really happened was Rosalie had given the wrong message to Edward –that I was dead- and he decided to go to Italy to see the Volturi. Then I jumped on a plane and was there trying to stop him as fast as I could. I never fathomed that I wouldn't be grounded by Charlie.

Since Edward was out hunting this weekend I didn't know how I would live. I couldn't go with him-he didn't allow it- and he had to or else he couldn't be around me. I could hang out with Alice, but I didn't feel like getting all girly like she has done in the past.

I knew I was working on Saturday but what else could I do? The house was spotless, my homework-done. I had no idea as to how I was going to live without Edward this weekend. I might not. I might. I'm pretty sure I would.

haven't got to the funny part yet please R&R.