Sanzo had noticed the very first time he had touched Goku, when he had clasped his hand that first time on Mt

Muse: Yeah, I'm going on a coffee break.

Me: But…but you're a muse. You don't need coffee.

Muse: … walks away

And that's the situation, folks. Halfway through this, that's exactly what happened to me. It took me two weeks to finish this. Or close to it, anyway. Grr. Anyway…what do you think? I can't honestly say I normally write stories in this type of format…and do you know how many fragments are in this story? Like, sentence fragments? A lot. Word was like, "FRAGMENT!! FRAGMENT!!" and I resisted the urge to throw my laptop across the room more then once. …ok, I admit it, that was completely off topic…I just had to rant. Sorry. Back to more important things! What do you think? Is this fanfic any good?! I just don't know…I thought the beginning was good, but it sorta sucked at the end. :sweatdrops: Ah, well. Review and tell me what you think! Also, if you do think it's good (and even if you don't) do you think I should do a sequel? This was originally meant to be a oneshot, but I think I could another chapter if that's what you want. It's up to you! Oh, aren't you important now. I think that's all…every review is appreciated, and I try to reply to all reviews! Thankies!

For Fire Emblem fans, I'm planning on making a Fire Emblem fanfic soon. Exciting! As soon as Schizzar finishes the bios… glares I THINK YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!! cough Eh heh heh…anyway. It will be Soren x Ike, if you're wondering. No, I have absolutely no idea when it will be. School's FINALLY getting out, so I should have more time to write, but that also means I'll have more time to procrastinate…

OMG! My rants need to be shorter! Sorry for taking up so much of your time (if you actually read this…)!! Enjoy!

Gojyo: …

Me: What?

Gojyo: Um, there's no disclaimer.

Me: That's because I own you and your bodies! MWAHAHA!

Gojyo: …

Me: What now?

Gojyo: :whips out pepper spray: EAT PEPPERS!

Me: AHHH! MY EYES! MY EYES! :runs off screaming:

Gojyo: :ahem: The author does not own Saiyuki or anything related to Saiyuki, and never will. Thank you.

--

Sanzo had noticed the very first time he had touched Goku, when he had clasped his hand that first time on Mt. Gogyo. At first, it wasn't all that noticeable – a slight heating of the skin, a tingle like his hand had fallen asleep and just woke up.

But it was getting much, much worse.

This stupid journey wasn't helping either. Before, at the temple, it was easy to evade him. Now, with the four of them packed into that jeep, it was hard to avoid all contact. Goku probably did it on accident. A light touch here. The brushing of palms there. A casual contact, that couldn't be avoided, that naturally happens with so many people in so small a space.

For Sanzo, it was torture.

These past few months whenever Goku touched an exposed piece of skin, Sanzo could feel something hot and fiery uncoil itself and rise inside of him. With Hakkai and the kappa that feeling never happened. Why? Why only with Goku? Sanzo had spent nights pondering this question, with no discernible answer.

Sanzo hated it.

He hated that he could never control that feeling, when he could control all his other emotions. He hated that he had to go to every effort to avoid Goku, and most of all he hated himself for dealing with the problem by having nothing to do with the source. And so he had no choice.

Sanzo pushed Goku away.

Not in a purely literal sense. He did beat him with his paper fan, and sometimes actually did shove Goku. But it was more in a mental sense. He made derogatory comments. He made sure that the only things he said to Goku were harsh and cruel. He refused to room with him. He'd completely ignore Goku at times, and tried to disregard anything coming out of his mouth.

And still that stupid monkey clung to him.

How could he stand it? Sanzo physically and verbally abused him at every turn. He pushed him away. He chastised him. He never offered encouragement. He shunned him. He berated him at all opportune moments. And yet, and yet, by some miracle (or perhaps curse) that innocent brown haired child continued to dote on him like he was the best thing in the world.

And, slowly, like sand trickling out of an hourglass, Sanzo was giving in.

It definitely wasn't apparent to the others. They still saw the same abusive monk as always, moody and withdrawn. And if he was a little more testy then normal, well, it wasn't the first time. Nor would it be the last, most likely. But Sanzo was beginning to waver. He was so sick of it, of Goku, of hitting his monkey – yes, he'd admit Goku was his. So why the hell was he forced to stay away from him? Why the hell did he have to constantly hide his true feelings and beat Goku away so many times, every day, every week, every month, for the rest of time? It just wasn't fair!

Though, Sanzo admitted to himself, life wasn't always fair.

There were multiple reasons Sanzo didn't act on that repulsive yet strangely arousing feeling. First of all, his entire reputation would dissolve. The silent, glaring, piercing-eyed blond actually housed emotions beneath his reserved stature? And for a young boy, no less? Sanzo could practically feel Hakkai's penetrating stare on him already, and hear the stupid cockroach's barely contained laughter. That was a disaster in the making.

However, if he were completely honest with himself (and let's face it, that's rare, even in Sanzo's own mind), he was afraid.

One hundred percent, pure, untainted fear. That was what he felt when he considered it. He was slightly ashamed to admit it, but that was the truth. Of how society would look at him after, yes. How the kappa and Hakkai would then view him, yes. But mostly…of how Goku would see him. Would he take it well? Would he accept Sanzo afterwards? Maybe. Maybe not. And so, Sanzo endured the feeling, the flush he felt rising when he looked at Goku, the urge to just be around him. And probably still be enduring it, if not for one little thing.

Rain.

That god-damned phenomenon that happened every so often, bringing water in a torrential downpour upon the earth, and stirring up memories in Sanzo's mind. He would have been perfectly happy if it never rained again, thank you very much. But did nature ever listen to his requests? Obviously not. Otherwise, the rain wouldn't be plinking against the window pane and the cloud above Sanzo's head wouldn't be getter darker…darker…

Darker…

Just as it was imminent the cloud burst and rain fall, Goku tentatively poked his head around the door, seemingly testing the air as a swimmer tests the water. Finding the atmosphere heavy – and the water cold – he hesitated for an extended moment. Goku suspected if the air was any heavier then Sanzo would've been crushed by now.

Goku knew, of course, from past experiences and bruises that it was best not to disturb Sanzo during the rain, but…he was so hungry! And Sanzo was the only one with any money. So Goku had decided to risk the wrathful rage of Sanzo. But now that he was here, he couldn't force his foot take one more step inside, let alone to ask Sanzo for the golden credit card that spelled out food.

"What?" came Sanzo's gruff voice.

Goku started violently, painfully hitting the door, falling over, and landing face first on the floor. He sprang back up almost instantly, rubbing his head.

"Uh…Sanzo…I, uh…" He trailed off, slightly uncertain, not being acknowledged at all by the blond monk. Nervously he cleared his throat and began again, this time a little stronger. "We're going to have dinner downstairs. Do you want to come?"

Truth be told, Sanzo hadn't heard a single word Goku had said. He was too busy sulking (yes, Sanzo, sulking) at the unfairness of it all. It probably wasn't good to dwell on this topic, but somehow he always found himself straying back to it, especially when that infernal rain was falling. Was it wrong for him to have these feelings? Probably. Did he care at this point? No. He had finally given in, given up. It wasn't just because of the constant contact, the guilt, and the sleepless nights. It was also because of that wretched rain. It…it was mocking him, coming down no matter his opinion, no matter if he didn't want it to come down! Well, he'd show it. He'd prove he could accept his feelings.

Slowly he rose, startling Goku.

"S-sanzo…? Is something wrong?"

Those violent eyes turned slowly to his own chocolate ones. Goku felt a curious shiver travel down his spine. Those eyes were like…purple fire…bright, fierce, passionate.

Sanzo took a step toward him.

Goku found himself frozen to the spot, unable to tear his eyes away – even if he wanted to. There was something so…so fascinating, so mysterious, so alluring about those eyes, framed by golden locks. Efficiently rooting him in place, Sanzo took another step. The space between them lessened. And lessened. And grew smaller yet. Finally Sanzo was so close Goku could feel the heat radiating off of him in waves, hotter then what he expected. Sanzo tipped his head slightly, and leisurely leaned forward. Goku heard a tiny part of his brain silently urging him on.

An eternity later, their lips touched.

The effect on Sanzo was instantaneous. An electric shock traveled from the point of impact, excruciatingly painful and tantalizing at the same time, making Sanzo crave it all the more. Like a drug, the pain only made it all the more pleasing and somehow pleasant. He pressed his lips harder upon Goku's, feeling that pain arch through his body. Reacting almost instinctively now, one arm curled around the brown haired young man's waist, pulling them closer and making Goku release a small noise of surprise.

This brought Sanzo back to his senses. Immediately he released the surprised Goku and turned away. He withdrew the golden credit card and held it between his first and second fingers.

"Go," he instructed, voice breaking slightly. What had he done?

A long silence from behind him stretched on. Sanzo wanted to scream. He wanted something to fill this torturous quiet with. Every passing second another layer of guilt piled on him. He could tell that soon he would be crushed under the weight growing on his shoulders. Then again, maybe this was the way it was meant to be. He was stupid for ever acting on his feelings, stupid for letting the rain get the better of him yet again, just stupid, stupid, stupid.

"Sanzo…"

Wasn't it amazing how a single word made him stop thinking, breathing, comprehending instantaneously? Did Goku have any idea how just his very presence effected Sanzo's life? And now he had ruined it all, ruined it with a single action. He could practically hear the walls that had been so carefully constructing come crashing down. It was too late to turn back now.

"Sanzo…what was that? What did you just do…?"

He listened with slight astonishment. The monkey didn't know what a kiss was? Sanzo couldn't help himself. At first, his shoulders started shaking. He pulled a hand to his mouth as if in order to stop the sound. And then it happened.

Sanzo began to laugh.

It wasn't loud, or even impressive. But it was Sanzo. The disgruntled, ill-tempered, splenetic monk. Laughing. Sanzo was never sure what caused it. Stress? Guilt? Surprise? All three? Perhaps. But he was indeed laughing, and laughing hard.

"It was a kiss, you stupid monkey," Sanzo managed between laughs.

"A…kiss…?" Sanzo risked a glance behind him to see Goku lightly touch his lips. "Why?"

Sanzo stopped laughing, quite abruptly. Why…? That was a good question. A question he had no answer for. He was suddenly tired, tired of the whole situation. He threw the gold card behind him and knew Goku instinctively caught it.

"Just go," he sighed. What did he care anymore? It was over forever between him and Goku.

Hearing footsteps, Sanzo expected the door to close as Goku expected. What he did not expect was a sudden shock coursing from his hand. He spun around and was greeted by liquid brown eyes gazing adorably at him.

"Won't you join us for dinner?" he asked.

Sanzo stared down at him. Goku didn't hate him? He could see no dislike in those huge eyes. But that was impossible. He…he…

"C'mon," Goku insisted, lightly tugging his sleeve.

"I…you aren't angry?"

"Why would I be?"

Because I just kissed you, Sanzo wanted to say.

"Is it because of the…kiss? I…" Goku touched his lips once again. "It was kind of surprising, but…I didn't mind. Is there something wrong with that?"

Sanzo wasn't sure what to say. How could he accept it so calmly? Meanwhile, outside, the downpour lightened to a sprinkle.

"So? You coming?"

"…tch." Sanzo followed Goku and gently shut the door behind him.

Outside the window, the rain finally stopped.