I'll just assume we're all caught up, here. So this one takes place in present time. Beckett's still surrounded by the LokSat mystery. These are going to be short chapters, but together will narrate how I think this one should've gone. Don't get me wrong, I'm okay with what the writers are actually doing with this story line. But if I was the director of the show *sigh* it would be quite different...enjoy!
Disclosure: Seriously...I really don't own the show. If I did, I wouldn't be stuck writing this fanfic.
Chapter 1-Rick
"We can't keep doing this." Kate turned, exhausted, and flopped backward onto the couch. She could barely keep her eyes open, yet her exhaustion was also fueling the tension that spread through her body.
Rick followed her into the living room and slid onto the couch next to her, worry filling his expression. Since she had walked through the front door after work, she had looked about ready to pass out, which scared him. He had seen her tired before, but never this tired. Her silence, up until now, had been suffocating. But he knew better than to try to talk to her before she was ready.
"Can't keep doing what?" He asked softly, placing a comforting hand gently on her shoulder, not sure whether that would help or make things worse. She allowed it to rest there.
"Pretending." She huffed, running a shaky hand through her tossed hair and letting out a long sigh, "one minute we're together…the next we hate each other."
"It's not by choice, Kate, and you know that."
"Of course not!" She responded, looking up suddenly into his face. It made his heart wrench, the pain and sadness that filled her eyes, "but I just…we just…can't keep doing this. It's…" She faltered and drew her eyes away.
"We can get through this, love." Rick reached over when tears finally began to make trails down her cheeks and pulled her into him, "you said it yourself. You're so close to Loksat. Then we can go back to our normal lives."
She let him wrap his strong arms protectively around her and buried her face into his shoulder. It felt good to let him hold her. It felt good to cry into him and let him tell her everything would be okay…even if it wouldn't.
"It's not like that" She pressed, her voice hoarse from holding back tears for so long.
"What do you mean?"
"Rick, we will never, ever be able to go back to our normal life. Ever." Her tears began to fall faster and she was shaking with held-back sobs.
"Why not?" He wiped the tears from her cheeks and folded his hand over hers, giving it a squeeze, "hey…we can get through anything. I promise."
"Not this." She replied, "Esposito and Ryan think we hate each other. And they hate you for cheating on me which you didn't even do."
"Kate, they don't define us. And besides, they'll get over it." He watched her, "that's not why you're upset though."
She shook her head slowly and he began to rub his hand gently up and down her arm. Never in his life had he seen her this upset. It made him wonder if there was something seriously wrong with her. If she was sick…he would never sleep again. There was no way in hell he could ever live without her.
"We just can't keep pretending, Rick."
"Please let me help you. Tell me what's wrong."
For a moment, he thought she was going to give in and tell him. Then her phone buzzed, startling them both. She pulled it out and moved away from him, reading the text and sighing.
"I have to go."
"Kate…"
"Please, Rick. Don't do this now." She stood up, walking back to their bedroom and shutting the door behind her. He was left to sit on the couch alone, silent tears beginning to build up behind his own eyes.
She opened the door five minutes later, grabbed her bag and keys from the table by the door, and hurriedly left the loft with a final bang of the heavy wooden door. The loft was quiet. This time, however, the silence was filled with suffocating pain.
Thanks for reading! More chapters to come! Follow and favorite...and if you REALLY want to make my day (I know you do), then leave a comment! Love you guys! Have a great week!
Audrey
