This is a Remus/Sirius fic based on Cosmo Jarvis's "Gay Pirates" song. It's an AU where they find a cure for Remus's lycanthropy, but they both lose their magic. They are exiled and end up with muggle pirates. Enjoy!
I don't own anything, and I don't profit from writing this fanfiction
[Break]
"Ugh! This water's too salty!" Remus chuckled at the look on Sirius's face.
"You're not supposed to drink it, love."
"Remind me again why we're on this bloody ship?"
"Because we've got no choice?"
"Good point."
[Break]
They were cleaning the deck when Sirius scrubbed his way over to Remus.
"I'm sick of being beaten, and whipped and lashed to death." Remus sighed.
"So am I, love. At least the gang rape seems to have stopped." Just then one of the newer recruits was dragged off kicking and screaming by a group of burly pirates. "I spoke too soon, I see. Think they'll be satisfied with just him?" As Sirius pondered, the unfortunate man's screams drifted up to them.
"Don't hold your breath."
[Break]
"Yo-ho, Sebastian-"
"Why the bloody hell are you calling me Sebastian?" Sirius shrugged.
"It seemed like a good idea. Let's go far away."
"Like where?" Remus made a show of looking about the quarters they shared with 20 other pirates. "Not exactly anywhere TO go, love." Sirius looked around too, making sure everyone else was alseep before he pulled Remus in for a quick kiss.
"I dunno, just somewhere where the mad captain can't get us."
[Break]
"They say they're gonna kill me, if I look at you once more," Sirius said softly while making sure to keep his eyes on the potatoe he was peeling. "Pissed in my hammock, too, so it's the floor for me."
[Break]
"Remus! Your feet are bleeding!" Remus shook his head, not allowing Sirius to remove his sandals.
"They put glass in them, said if I didn't wear them they'd make you pay." Sirius pulled Remus close and held him tightly. Neither of them noticed the first mate watching them.
[Break]
Sirius ran, skidding around corners and jumping down stairs. When he found Remus he grabbed him without slowing down. When they had reached the furthest point below decks that they could go, Sirius hid them in a corner. As they stood there panting Remus could see tears flowing down his cheeks.
"What's wrong, love? Sirius, what happened?"
"The captain," Sirius choked out. "He found out about us. He's ordered them to throw us both overboard. Tonight." Remus pulled Sirius close to him, making soothing noises and stroking his hair. After a long while he broke the silence.
"Then together we will go." Sirius looked up at him for a long moment before nodding firmly.
[Break]
They were prodded toward the plank with sharp swords, their hands tied behind their backs. Remus looked at Sirius and spoke softly.
"I hope they didn't tie your hands as tightly as mine." Sirius smiled, a sad little twist of his mouth.
"I'll see you on the bed of this blue ocean, babe, sometime." He took a deep breath and met Remus's eyes. "I'm yours, you know." Remus's eyes began leaking.
"I'll love you still in hell." It sounded like gibberish to the other pirates, but it had become their custom to speak the two sentences quietly when they were almost alone, referring to the pirate ship as their personal hell and reaffirming their love for one another. The captain got sick of waiting and kicked them overboard, Remus first. 'And down we fell," he thought madly, before the icy water stole all thought from his mind.
[Break]
Remus didn't know how long he struggled underwater before the strong hand wrapped around his arm and jerked him toward the surface. He gasped in air and struggled.
"Sirius!" His throat was raw but he didn't care. "Sirius, where are you!" A hand clasped itself around his mouth.
"Shut up you daft man! If you mean your mate with the long hair Tim's got 'im. Now stop fighting or you're going to drag us both under!" Remus stopped struggling and looked around. His rescuer was taking him to another ship, anchored a distance away. When they reached it he was hauled up onto the deck and lay there trying to recover his wits. When Sirius was hauled up a few minutes later he nearly died from joy. They were both dragged into a small cabin, cut free, stripped and given itchy blankets to keep them from freezing. They sat alone, shivering and huddled together.
"Don't tell them anything, Remus. They won't bother with the plank, they'll just beat us to death." Remus nodded and squeezed Sirius's hand, jerking away when the door opened. The captain strode in followed by the first mate and with a jolt he realized the captain had been the one to pull him from the water. The first mate's hair was damp, so he was probably the one who had rescued Sirius. Tim stood in the corner while the captain knelt in front of them.
"Lads, my name is Frank and I'm the captain of this fine vessel. Now, you need to tell me why you were thrown overboard." When he was met with silence he glanced back at Tim, who shrugged and leaned against the wall. "Were you starting a mutiny?" They shook their heads. "Ahh, now we're getting somewhere. Caught stealing? Kill a shipmate? Sleepin with the captain's wench? Snitches? Drunkards?" At each suggestion he was met with a head shake. "Lads, you need to tell me," he pleaded. "Otherwise we'll throw you in the brig and dump you on the next island we come to." Remus barely heard the last words. He was too busy studying the way Tim was watching Frank. He looked over at Sirius, who shook his head frantically. Remus then looked the captain in the eye before very slowly and deliberately taking Sirius's hand, twining their fingers together. Frank looked down at their hands, then back up to their faces, expressionless. Remus relaxed when his face broke out into a wide grin.
"Why didn't you just say so lads? We'll get you some clothes and sleeping quarters." Frank stood and turned to Tim. "Looks like you were right, love. Now how about I pay up?" As they left the two alone again, Remus pulled Sirius close and whisprered softly in his ear.
"We deserve much better than we've had."
