"When Ryan's Gone"
Disclaimer:
I own nothing!
Rating:
T [R (for homosexuality)
Genre:
Drama/Romance/Angst
Pairing:
Tryan (Troy/Ryan) Yes, that's slash, folks! No likey? Don't read the fic!
Warnings:
This story contains homosexuality and is not for homophobics.
Notes:
This story is being co-authored with a friend of mine. The idea to write the story was hers, not mine!
Parting Is Such Sweet Sorrow
Ryan sat alone at home, waiting for Troy to come by to pick him up for their date. Checking the clock, he noted that it read 7:00. Troy had said he would be there at six. By now, Ryan knew he wasn't coming. Troy was never this late. Although, he had been slipping in the punctuality department ever since Ryan's own father set him up with the U of A Redhawks. Ryan sighed. He knew that this was a once-in-a-lifetime chance for Troy-if the Redhawks liked what they saw, he could get a scholarship. But, still...Should he have to take a backseat to Troy's future? A future which Troy and he had talked about living together? Heading upstairs to his bedroom, he undressed and started a shower. Stepping into the shower, Ryan continued to allow the warm water cascade down his body, slightly relieving him of his stress. With the sound of the running water filling his ears, Ryan had not heard his cellphone ringing in the bedroom attached to the bathroom.
Troy was sitting in the bleachers after a game with the Redhawks, taking a waterbreak. Checking his phone, he noted the clock on it read 7:00 p.m. Shit...Ryan!...He thought to himself. He quickly dialed the blonde's number, hoping to smooth things over with him. After listening to the phone ring and then voicemail answering, Troy just hung up the phone and went back to his next game with the Redhawks, promising himself to call Ryan back.
Ryan stepped out of the shower feeling somewhat refreshed. Deciding that the night was still young, he decided to run over to the country club to see what everyone else was up to. Without glancing at it, Ryan grabbed his cellphone and returned downstairs. Entering the garage, Ryan climbed into his car and left for Lava Springs. Upon his arrival, he ran into Taylor and Gabriella.
"Hey, Ryan...Not goin' out with Troy tonight, afterall?" Gabriella asked curiously. Turning to face the two girls pulling up in a golf cart, Ryan replied "He never showed. I'm sure he has a good reason, though." He said, subconsciously trying to convince himself more than anything. Nodding, Gabriella replied "Yeah, I'm sure you're right...So, you goin' to the baseball game?" Shaking his head, Ryan replied "I'm not staff...I wasn't invited..." "Come on, everyone's invited..." Gabriella coaxed.
Gesturing to the backseat of the golf cart, Taylor replied "Hop in!" Thinking about it a moment, Ryan realized he had nothing better to do, so, he replied "All right..." After Ryan climbed in the backseat, Taylor took off again, resuming her journey to the baseball field. Upon their arrival, Ryan stepped out of the golf cart to be greeted by Chad who invited him to play in the game. Well...If Troy can have his fun, why can't I? Ryan thought to himself. And, with that, the game began.
Meanwhile, back in the gym at the U of A, Troy was gathering his things as everyone got ready to call it a night. Picking up his phone, he decided to call Ryan again. Three rings and the same result as last time. Sighing, Troy hit the showers and, after getting dressed, headed over to the country club to see if anyone had seen or heard from Ryan.
Upon arriving at the country club, Troy watched as everyone left the baseball field at the end of the game. Walking by the pool, he spotted Ryan and Gabriella. "Hey!" he called. "Hey!" Ryan replied cheerfully. The game had definitely lifted his spirits somewhat, and, seeing Troy helped a bit. "I'll just leave you guys to it..." Gabriella replied as she made a discreet exit. After a brief awkward silence, Troy spoke up "So, I uh...I tried to call...Got hung up at the gym." Sighing softly, Ryan just replied "Hey, my dad says you're doing great with those college guys...". Silently, he was praying that Troy would say something to the effect of Ryan being more important and some sort of sincere apology. "Yeah...Yeah, they're awesome...Playin' with them's like bein' in a whole other world..." Let down, yet again. "Good...I'm glad you're enjoying yourself..." Ryan replied, his spirits sinking yet again.
Sensing something was wrong, Troy stepped closer to Ryan, taking his hands in his own as he asked "Is everything okay?" Nodding, Ryan lied "Yeah, everything's fine..." Not really believing him, Troy replied "Listen...I'm really sorry about tonight. I was really looking forward to spending the evening with you...Just...Things just got kinda crazy at the gym and time got away from me...I promise I'll make it up to you, though..." Sighing, Ryan decided he'd had enough of Troy's empty promises to 'make it up to him' and asked "Really...Don't strain yourself, slick..."
Confused, Troy asked "What's that supposed to mean?" Sighing, Ryan pulled away from Troy and added "It means that you've made that promise more times than I can count, Troy! You had all these plans for us this summer! Where are they now, huh? Where's the Troy Bolton I fell in love with?..." Ryan had to pause to take a steadying breath as he added "...You've changed Troy..."
Stepping close to Ryan again, Troy replied "Hey...I'm still me...I'm just working on the scholarship thing and you know that!" Ryan could feel the sting of tears as he replied "But, if along the way, you act like someone you're not, then pretty soon, that's who you become!" Troy could not believe what he was hearing. "I told you, I'm still me!" He insisted. Staring at Troy in disbelief, Ryan replied "Missing dates?! Blowing off your friends?! If that's you, then it's good to know-" "Look! I meant what I said...About movies and summer and just being together!" Troy interrupted, lightly grabbing Ryan by the shoulders, hoping to drive his point home. And failing miserably.
Sadly, Ryan replied "I'm sure you did...At the time...But...Troy...We both know you're not the man that made those promises." Troy just stared in disbelief. This can't be happening...He can't be doing what I think he's doing...Can he? He thought to himself, confused. His question was answered soon enough when Ryan took his hand in his and began singing a sad song.
"I gotta say what's on my mind
Somethin' about us doesn't seem right, these days
Life keeps getting in the way
Whenever we try somehow the plan
Is always rearranged
It's so hard to say
but I gotta do what's best for me
You'll be okay
I've got to move on, and be who I am
I just don't belong here
I hope you understand
We might find a place in this world someday
But at least for now
I gotta go my own way
Don't wanna leave it all behind
But I get my hopes up and I watch them fall every time
Another color turns to gray
And it's just too hard. to watch it all slowly fade away
I'm leaving today
Cause I gotta do what's best for me
You'll be okay
I've got to move on, and be who I am
I just don't belong here
I hope you understand
We might find a place in this world someday
But at least for now
I gotta go my own way"
Troy could not believe what he was hearing. It was true. Ryan was leaving him. He stood, numb, frozen to his spot as Ryan disappeared into the locker room. Finding the strength to move again, he stood outside the locker room and heard the soft sad sound of his boyfriend crying as he continued to sing the painful ballad. Troy heard the crying and ached for it, but, knew he probably was not meant to hear it in the first place, so, he stayed where he was until he watched Ryan emerge on the other side of the locker room. Running to catch up to him, he sang back to him.
"What about us?
What about everything we've been through?"
Ryan listened as Troy sang to him. He knew Troy would do something like this if he ever tried to leave, but, he did not have a choice. Troy had forced this upon both of them. Ryan took another steadying breath as he sang back.
"What about trust?"
Troy could not believe that Ryan did not trust him anymore. Though, deep down he knew should not have been all that surprised by this. He had not exactly given the guy a whole lot of reasons to trust him. He continued singing to the beautiful blonde he was still in love with, despite the way he had been treating him lately. He sang the truth. He sang from his heart.
"You know I never wanted to hurt you."
Ryan knew Troy was telling him the truth, that he had never meant to hurt him. But, it did not do anything to ease the pain. He hated the hurt look in Troy's beautiful blue eyes. But, in the end, he knew what he had to do.
"What about me?"
Troy hated himself for making Ryan feel that way. He knew he had done the one thing he had sworn to never do. He had hurt Ryan. He had hurt the only person he ever truly loved. At that point, he prayed for the Earth to just open up and swallow him whole. I'd settle for curling up in a corner and dying... He thought to himself as he continued singing.
"What am I supposed to do?"
Ryan pressed on, before he could change his mind. He had to do it. No matter how much it hurt, he to break-up with Troy. Determined, he pressed on.
"I gotta leave, but, I'll miss you..."
In that moment, Troy knew it was really over as he sadly echoed.
"...I'll miss you..."
From that point on, the two boys voices mingled in sad dance of love and pain. Neither of them wanting it to, but, both knowing it would happen. They would finish and go their own ways.
"So I've got to move on, and be who I am.
Why do you have to go?
I just don't belong here,
I hope you understand.
Trying to understand
We might find a place in this world someday,
But at least for now
I want you to stay
I gotta go my own way"
With the end of the final line, Troy felt his hands slowly slip from Ryan's and, in that instant, felt his heart shatter into a million pieces. Staring at Ryan, Troy watched as the tears flowed freely down the blonde boy's face. Unable to take it any longer, he turned and ran back to his truck. Running as fast as he could, hoping to escape the pain, but, knowing he could never escape it.
As they finished the song, Ryan let Troy's hands slowly slip out of his grasp, feeling his heart shatter at their absence. Returning the brunette's gaze, he watched a steady stream of tears flowing down his beautiful cheeks and knew it was done. Troy Bolton and Ryan Evans were now just that. Troy Bolton and Ryan Evans. They were no longer Troy & Ryan. But, two seperate people. Watching as Troy turned and ran in the direction of his truck, Ryan mirrored the action, running back to his car. Both boys fired up their engines and sped off in the direction of their homes.
Arriving at his home, Ryan ran inside and upstairs to his room, where he threw himself onto the bed and cried into his pillow, his sobs muffled slightly. He had been too caught up in his misery to notice his sister walk in. He only noticed her once she sat on the side of his bed, rubbing his back in a comforting manner. "What happened? What's wrong, Ry?"
Ryan was trembling with sobs as he explained what happened with Troy. Sharpay had had a feeling for a while now that it would come to this between the two lovers, but, had not wanted to say anything. She knew that Ryan would not have believed her. Instead, she replied "Hey...You never know...This may be just the kind of wake-up call Troy needed to get his act together. Maybe you lit a fire under his ass to get things straightened out in his life...There could still be a future for you two, yet..." She stated, trying to give her twin a shred of hope.
