Disclaimer: Don't own them, not for profit, blah blah blah fishcakes.
A/N: A special thanks to Pink Floyd's "The Division Bell" CD - I listened to it pretty much exclusively while writing this. Also, a shout out to Koschka, 'cuz thanks to you the image of Zelenka and a still are indelibly etched into my brain. (Hoists glass of Smurf Piss!)
The Claws That Catch
I: Out Of The Fire
When you see the telemetry coming in from a MALP and read ninety-seven degrees with seventy-eight percent humidity at mid morning you think, Yeah, it's going to be a hot, miserable sonuvabitch. Then you finally step through the Gate and the reality slaps you in the face like an innocent little freshman at her first Greek mixer.
Not that I'm speaking from experience, that is.
Yeah, it was really fucking hot. I slowly stepped forward, P90 raised and ready, and didn't even have to look to know Teyla and Ronon were fanning out behind me and to the sides, ready to catch anything trying to flank us. A moment later I heard the distinctive sound of my fourth team member exiting the Gate followed by a sharp intake of breath. Wait for it….
"Holy crap it's hot!" Rodney said in a slightly strangled voice.
"Thank you for the weather report, Doctor Obvious," I said through my teeth. My t-shirt was already sticking to me under the flak vest and I was seriously considering stripping down to my boxers if we had to stay here for very long. Huh, I wonder if I could order Kevlar boxers for times like these? O'Neil would probably okay it.
"Area is clear," Rodney said. "Nothing but us." There was a slap. "And bugs. Lots of bugs." There came a yelp and another slap. "Oh, man – if that's a mosquito we're screwed."
I lowered my P90 and shot a lopsided grin at Teyla. She offered one of her own amused smiles and by God if she didn't roll her eyes a bit. She's been hanging around us Earthlings too long – starting to pick up bad habits. I turned around and watched Rodney as he tried to keep bugs at bay as he frantically made adjustments to his hand held scanner. It was all rather graceful in a geek-spastic sort of way.
"I'm still getting a strong signal from the MALP," Rodney said. "It's…."
"Down there," Ronon supplied.
We were standing on what the first images from the MALP suggested was a tall hill, but from the worn flagstones under my feet it was obviously a building. A very tall, very old building. A jungle canopy stretched out beneath us and the tops of other buildings not quite covered in growth peeked up here and there. All that was missing was a Rebel look-out and the Millennium Falcon roaring overhead. I wandered over to where Ronon was standing next to some freshly exposed stone and peered down. The sight revealed we were at the top of a steep sided steppe pyramid and I could see the twisted arm of the MALP sitting on the first of five terraces below us. The rest of the thing was all the way down at the bottom and I could see the bounce marks it made on the pyramid's sides on its way there. That it was still broadcasting was a freakin' miracle. I let out a low whistle. "Man, how far down do you think that is?"
Teyla joined me a moment later and glanced down. She made an impressed sound in the back of her throat and shook her head.
"I'm not going after it," Ronon added in his normal gruff statement of the obvious.
Rodney stepped up with us and made the mistake of looking over the edge. His heat flushed face actually turned a normal shade. "Oh dear God," he said and quickly backed up a half dozen steps.
"That's gotta be four hundred feet, easily," I drawled and was rewarded by a groan from Rodney. "And I forgot to bring rope."
"Asshole," Rodney said. "A fear of heights is a very logical phobia, one that is grounded in the very realistic possibility that falling from a great height can turn even a follicly challenged super pilot such as yourself into a little tiny grease smudge." He held up his scanner and waggled it back and forth a few times. "And for your edification, it's four hundred and thirty-eight feet to the bottom." Then he froze momentarily, glanced towards the edge, and backed up all the way to the Gate.
Ronon smirked at me and holstered his gun. "I could make it down."
"I am quite sure a temple such as this would have an easier way down," Teyla said as she clipped her P90 to her vest. She began walking the perimeter of the platform. Ronon shrugged and looked truly disappointed as he started walking in the opposite direction.
I clipped my own P90 to my vest and wandered over to where Rodney was standing. "So, you pick up that energy source the MALP sensed yet?"
"A third grader with a potato battery and a modified Lite Brite come EMF detector could pick it up," Rodney said. And judging by the smug jut of his jaw just then he more than likely built such a thing when he was a kid. God, his parents must have been saints, and I'm surprised Jeannie didn't smother him in his sleep. He consulted his readings and pointed off to – eh, let's call the Gate north, so it would be to the southeast. "It's about two klicks that way."
Hence the reason we were here turning into steaming puddles of goo in a tropical hell. The MALP picked up one helluva energy source before its tumble and that usually meant one thing: ZPM. At least that's what we were hoping. I tapped my earpiece. "Atlantis, this is Sheppard. Site is secure and appears to be at the top of one honkin' big pyramid. McKay has a lock on the energy signature and we should be able to proceed on foot." I glanced at Teyla and received a nod – she found the stairs. "The MALP is trashed, but I think we can retrieve the memory without any problems."
"Thank you, Colonel," Elizabeth's voice said in my ear. "Does the structure appear to be Ancient?" The capitalized name and not the age was a given with us anymore and there was a touch of excitement in her usually modulated voice.
Rodney tapped his earpiece. "Can't tell at this point. There are no discernable markings other than those on the Stargate and the DRD. The site is pretty extensive, however – we may find something, um, on the way down." He ended the sentence in a rush and looked a little green.
Elizabeth was quiet for a moment, no doubt trying to imagine what Rodney meant by that. "All right, Rodney. Standard check in, two hours."
"We'll be here," I said. "And have a couple cold ones ready for us when we get back."
There was a faint chuckle from the other end. "Will do. Good luck. Atlantis out." The Gate whooshed shut a second later.
I wiped sweat off my face and fished out my sunglasses. They started to slide down my nose the second I put them on and I actually got a little homesick for McMurdo. The thought of all that cold snow made me sigh as I wandered over to Teyla. "How they look?" I asked as Rodney fell into step next to me.
"Stable, but steep," Teyla replied with a nod toward the stairs.
Rodney made that little strangled noise again and I thought his knees were going to buckle. "Those aren't stairs – that's, that's a glorified prehistoric ladder." He started to turn away but I grabbed the back of his vest and forced him to stay put.
"Hey, piece of cake. Just back down like you're on a ladder and no problem."
Ronon snorted at me, shook his head, and started down like normal. Didn't matter that each step was a good two feet high and narrow – the big guy just plodded on down like it was nothing. Of course his legs were long enough he could do it. "Showoff," I muttered. Teyla proceeded in a more cautious sideways approach that seemed to work pretty well. I followed her lead – it allowed me to keep one hand on the steps for support and one hand from keeping my swinging P90 from smacking me in the nuts. And Rodney – well, Rodney climbed down butt out like a girl on a rickety ladder.
By the time we hit the second tier down we were all drenched, Rodney more so. The sunscreen obsessed, germ/bugophobe insisted on wearing a long sleeve shirt despite the temperature and was paying for it. Made me glad Beckett forced extra water on all of us, and I had a couple extra epi-pens stowed away in my vest, too, in case we encountered any alien bees. I glanced at Teyla and even though she was sweating just as hard as I was she had that serene but focused look on her face that made her look, well, cool. How the hell does she do that?
When we got to the third tier, which was roughly the halfway point, I called a rest since Rodney was turning an alarming shade of red. He immediately turned around, plopped his butt on a step, pulled out a bottle of water and downed half of it in one long breath. "The one time – one time – we step through the Gate and it doesn't look like the Pacific Northwest is the one time we wind up mountain climbing in a God damn blazing jungle. I never thought I'd say this – I miss seeing my breath." He wiped a sleeved forearm across his forehead. "Canadians aren't made for this."
"I have concluded I do not like this much humidity as well," Teyla said as she wiped at her forehead, too.
I snorted. "Yeah, I prefer a dry heat myself." I looked around at the dozen or so pyramids of different heights peeking out from the trees. "Ya know, this kind of reminds me of Chich'en Itza."
Rodney sputtered as he took a drink. "And how would you know what Chich'en Itza looks like? Did the Playmate of the Year do a photo spread there?"
I glowered at Rodney but it was ignored. As usual. "Spent Spring Break '88 in Cancun. Went on a tour."
"And you voluntarily went to see the ruins?" He equally ignored my sneer. "Huh. I bet your beer addled Frat boy brain probably heard someone say, 'Hey, let's go for chicken pizza' and you tagged along in hopes of food and more tequila body shots."
Now I ignored him as I took one last drink of water and capped my bottle. He didn't need to know he actually hit fairly close to the truth. Our tour guide more than made up for the misunderstanding once I got there, however. Ah, Rosalita - damn, she had mighty fine … dimples. As I packed my water away I said, "Mayan city. Rose to power around 600 A.D., fell sometime around 1000 A.D., though some think it may have been as late at 1200. The tallest structure is the Temple of Kukulkan and there are seven ball courts in the complex." I faced Rodney and gave him a very self satisfied hah and was amazed I still remembered all that.
Rodney gave his head that annoying little waggle and smirked. "Tour guide must have been cute."
I didn't think I made a face at that, but I must have because Teyla let out a short soft chuckle. I grabbed my P90 and started climbing back down. Smart-assed Canadian can fall, for all I care. I was half a tier lower when I noticed Ronon was already at the bottom chugging water. His leathers looked pretty damp. Good, I thought. Hope they chaff.
By the time I joined him I looked like I had just come in out of a rainstorm and my sunglasses were teetering precariously on the end of my nose. We were in the shadow of the pyramid now and I tried to pretend it was a tad cooler. I killed my first bottle of water and started on the next. When Teyla and Rodney finally made it all the way down they attacked their water as well.
Rodney sat on the last step. His hand fluttered around as he spoke between gasps. "I … never … thought I'd live … to see the day," he wheezed. I seriously need to get his butt into the gym more. He vaguely pointed in my direction. "There is a force … in this universe … that can flatten your mutant Chia hair."
"Hey!" Before I could stop it my hand went to my head. I just as quickly forced it back down. "Shut up and drink your water – the heat is making you delirious," I muttered. I caught something out of the corner of my eye and turned my head. Ronon was smirking and literally vibrating from the silent sniggers that racked his hyperthyrodic frame. "You don't see me making fun of your frizzed out Rasta rat's nest, now, do you?" And yeah, the humidity was doing a helluva number on it right now. And just because I had to add it, "Laugh it up, fuzz ball."
Rodney nearly choked. Teyla just cocked her head – she obviously hasn't joined the geeks for their monthly Lucas movie night to get the reference. I tried that. Once. I haven't been able to watch Return since Zelenka described in great detail how he would have filmed the opening sequence in Jabba's lair. That guy really needs a woman, and one that isn't endangered by sharp pointy objects.
Then suddenly, bam, just like that Ronon went from looking like someone suffering from a case of hyperactive hiccups to gun drawn and scowling at something behind me. I spun, P90 up and safety off in a heartbeat. Teyla reacted, too, and had her weapon ready. "What?" I whispered.
"Something moved in the brush. Over there." Ronon indicated some bushes about thirty yards from our current position that were near the base of another smaller pyramid.
"Rodney," I breathed.
Rodney fumbled his scanner out without any clarification. "There is a life sign," he confirmed in a strained whisper. "It's not moving."
We can see that, I thought. Ronon stalked forward, his attention riveted to the spot. "Can you tell what it is?" I whispered.
"No," Ronon replied. "But it's big."
Great.
Then it moved. I couldn't tell any detail other than it was large, dark, and seemed to be going away from us. That little fact made me happy beyond belief, but the way it just seemed to ooze away raised all the soggy little hairs on the back of my neck. Ronon made as if to follow, but stopped only a few yards away from me. Then he glanced back at me and I could tell something about it bothered him as well. Not that he would ever admit it, of course, but I could tell by the look in his eyes.
"It's leaving," Rodney confirmed as he joined the rest of us. "Not very quickly, either." He squinted off into the gloom. "At the rate it's going, I get the impression it isn't too intimidated by Chewie here."
"Well, let's not stick around long enough to find out," I said as I lowered my gun. "Which way do we go?"
Rodney made a few adjustments. "Oh, that's not good." His shoulders slumped and he gave that crooked grimace he gets. "The same way it's going."
Teyla had edged up next to him and peered down at the scanner. I stepped back to see as well. It showed the layout of perhaps an acre of the temple complex. "Perhaps we can detour around that mound," she said and pointed towards a mound to our right. "That should give the creature time to travel wherever it needs to go."
Rodney nodded/shook his head like a bobble physicist and stuck his chin out. "That would work." He didn't look too thrilled at the prospect of added distance, but tough.
We headed out. Even though trees buckled the ancient flagstones here and there, the undergrowth wasn't as thick as it could be. All of the vines and bushes than covered the pyramids and the path we walked all struck me as relatively new growth. As we got around the mound, which turned out to be a partially collapsed pyramid, we came across the first of several ruined houses. The walls had been made of scavenged stone, the roofs of wood or thatch. It was hard to tell exactly – the humidity and new growth had done a number on them. And they were quite extensive.
Teyla crouched down and picked up a fragment of a brightly decorated pottery something or other. "There were people living here in the recent past," she said as she glanced around. "The colors on this haven't faded much." She set the piece back down and stood. "I wonder if they were culled, or if something else decimated their population?"
Culled. Now there's a word that can send a cold chill down your spine no matter what the temperature is. Disease, predators, natural disasters, nukes – now those are a much better way to be wiped out than to be culled. "Well, if it's local, let's try to keep a low profile for a change." I glanced at Rodney. "Got that?"
Rodney had his attention riveted to the scanner so it took a moment for him to realize what I had said. "What?" he said indignantly. "Why does everyone assume I'm going to bring ultimate death and destruction down upon us at every turn?"
"Because you do," Ronon said.
"With startling regularity," Teyla added.
I just grinned at him and bobbed my eyebrows once.
"Fine. Fine. Pick on the genius. Just remember all this the next time I save all of your lives from impending doom."
"Which you probably brought on in the first place," Ronon rumbled.
I caught Teyla trying really hard to hide a smile. I didn't bother hiding mine.
"No respect," Rodney muttered as he returned his attention to his scanner. "None at all. I should have been born an Asgard – now there's a race that respects genius."
He continued to grumble under his breath like that for a few minutes as we walked through the ruins of what was once a pretty extensive settlement that wove around the bases of the pyramids. We eventually came to a fairly open central plaza – open in that there were maybe a dozen huge trees shading it and clumps of brush here and there that were maybe chest high. Rodney informed us our destination was just over a klick ahead, then in the next breath he said, "Oh, crap. I just picked up three life signs, moving in fast." He pointed off to the right, across the plaza.
It took us a moment to spot them since they were the same color as the vegetation. If they had been standing still, forget about it, but since they were darting between the trees we caught the motion before we caught details. There were three big birds, their heads easily four feet above the brush, and they weren't big yellow fuzzy things that liked to sing songs to kids. Judging from their sharp raptor beaks they'd rather be eating little kids. I also got the impression they spotted us about the same time we spotted them. They had been trotting with their heads up; now they lowered them and slowed their trot to a stalking glide. They practically disappeared behind the brush they were so low to the ground now.
"Oh, shit," I said and unhooked my P90. Ronon drew his gun and thumbed the setting up a notch. Teyla took up a position in front of Rodney. I glanced around quickly and saw the closest building was about twenty yards to our left. The walls were still pretty solid and would provide cover. I signaled for everyone to head there, and not at a run. God knows how these things would react to running prey. We backed up quickly, guns raised. We were halfway there when the first bird exploded out of the brush in front of us. Ronon, Teyla, and I opened fire and the body hit the ground and slid to a halt less than three feet from me. It had tiny little wings, drumsticks that could easily feed a family of six for Thanksgiving, and feet capped with shiny black talons longer than my hand. It was still twitching and snapping its beak so I popped a few more rounds into its skull.
"No no no no no no no no no," Rodney said as he and Teyla made it to the shelter. "I'm picking up more." He didn't get a chance to elaborate when the second bird came in from their left. Teyla unceremoniously hip-checked Rodney into the gaping door just as she opened fire.
At the same time the third one came in from the right. That was not a good sign – the damn things tried to flank us. Big, fast, and smart. This really sucked.
Teyla's bird screamed and shied away from her as the bullets struck it, but that sent it charging right towards me. I could hear Ronon firing at the third as I frantically backed up and pulled the trigger. Blood and feathers exploded from its chest, and God damn if that ornery sonuvabitch didn't reach out one of those long legs and kick me with its last dying gasp as it blew past me before it went down. I went flying and hit the ground, and as I laid there trying to breathe – damn thing got me right in the side – I watched Ronon get tackled by the third bird. I knew he wasn't in any danger because most of the thing's head was missing.
From my vantage point I could see another of the bastards coming in from the plaza and I could feel the ground vibrating with every one of its steps. No – wait a minute. That was coming from behind me. Then I caught the unmistakable deep, throaty purr on steroids growl that can only come from a really big cat. I craned my head back and had the most wonderful view of the biggest fucking black panther I had ever seen running right at me. I didn't even get the chance to bring my P90 around when it bunched and launched. Its feet were so close to my head when it jumped I swear I felt a paw brush my cheek. It sailed over me and caught the fourth bird in midair just as it was leaping to rip me to shreds. The panther's momentum carried the bird away from me and to the ground, its jaws locked on the throat underneath that wicked beak. The bird tried to rake it with its talons but the cat did the most graceful twist before it landed and wound up straddling the bird's body. Of course it still had hold of the bird's neck as it did that, and between the motion and the vicious head shake it gave the sound of the neck snapping was very, very loud in the suddenly quiet jungle.
With a very loud and pissed off roar Ronon heaved the bird corpse off of him and rolled to one knee, his gun trained on the cat. Teyla stepped forward and had her weapon aimed as well. Rodney came out of the ruined shelter with his nine-mil drawn and that crooked, jut jawed grimace that said don't fuck with me 'cuz I think I know how to use this and I just might. Eh, I have full faith in his ability with the gun, especially since he's learned how to reload it properly.
And me, well, I was still sprawled on my back and was pointing my gun at the cat that was barely ten feet away from my feet. The cat dropped the bird, closed its mouth and fixed its not quite gold, not quite green eyes right on mine. It still had its ears back but it didn't do anything except stare at me. That was really starting to freak me out – this was the strangest Mexican fucking stand-off I've ever been in.
"Colonel," Ronon growled. He was more than ready to take the shot.
"Wait," I croaked out and then wondered why the hell I said that. I was staring down several hundred pounds of certain death and I said wait? That damn bird didn't kick me in the head, did it?
The cat relaxed its ears and made a chuffing noise that sounded an awful lot like a dismissal. It calmly stood up, grabbed the neck of the dead bird underneath it, and proceed to casually drag what had to be eight hundred pounds of dead weight away from us. I could clearly see now as it turned even blacker spots and markings in its fur, and as it passed Rodney it gave him an obvious once over but completely ignored Teyla before it disappeared into the underbrush.
"You want me to track it?" Ronon offered as he got to his feet, his gun still pointed in the direction the cat went.
"No!" I said as I let my head sink back to the ground. "S'got its lunch. Let it be."
"Colonel, are you okay?" Rodney asked as he came over. He still had his gun clenched in one hand, the scanner in the other.
"I'm fine," I said and waved a hand at him. "Just had the wind knocked out of me."
"You are bleeding," Teyla added as she knelt down next to me.
"Huh?" I partially sat up. Big mistake. I think the bastard cracked some ribs. Before Teyla pushed me back down I saw two big tears in my flak vest that exposed the ceramic guts of the thing. The pocket that held my extra ammo clips was ripped open and they were laying on the jungle floor between me and the last bird I shot. There was a gash in my pants on my left hip right below my belt. I could feel the cut – it stung like hell – but it didn't seem too bad. Jesus – if I hadn't been wearing the vest the rest of the team really would be seeing what I was made of.
I had to undo my pants in order for Teyla to slap a field dressing on the gash. Rodney didn't help matters any when he said, "I bet you've had a few fantasies that begin just like this." He had that damn little smug smirk on his face. "Injured, beautiful woman, oops, have to lose the pants in order to treat the wound."
"Shut up, Rodney," I gritted through my teeth. I could feel my face turning red, but it wasn't what he said that was embarrassing – it was the amused little smile on Teyla's face that did it as she cleaned the cut and put a bandage on it.
"You can fasten your pants now," Teyla said as she sat back on her heels. "I am quite sure you do not need my help with that."
Oh, she was really enjoying this. And she used to be so polite and diplomatic when we first met. I'm fully blaming Rodney for this. As she helped me to my feet – yup, definitely a cracked rib or two – Ronon retrieved my spare ammo. I was about to pull out some water to wash down some wimpy-ass Tylenol when I saw Rodney glance at his scanner and go pale. Oh crap. "How many this time?" I asked without any explanation needed.
Rodney sputtered a few times before he spat out, "Two. Three. No … six. Oh dear God – they're coming right for us."
"Fall back," I said and we took up position in the ruins. These things were smart and we sure as hell didn't need them flanking us again.
They came in at a fast trot from roughly the same direction the cat went. Yeah, there were six, but this time they had riders.
