Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist nor any characters/ideas related to it. I am making no money by writing this fanfic. Thank you and have a nice day.
A Family Affair
Chapter 1: The Ball
Ed was curled up peacefully in his bed, sapping every last minute of sleep that he could before his brother would come to wake him. The room was filled with a pale, predawn light and birdsong that was even now preventing him from sinking back into a deep sleep. He sleepily pulled the sheets over his head and buried his face into the pillow. Why was sleep such a bother at night and then such a luxury in the morning?
"Brother," Al's voice floated in from their kitchen, "C'mon you gotta get up!"
"Meh." Ed muttered, trying to ignore his brother's voice. He'd been up till 2 A.M. last night and - unlike his brother - needed sleep!
"Ed! You're gonna be late!" Now Al was starting to sound like their mother!
"Brother, you have to go to work." A cold steel hand gently tugged away the blanket and began shaking him insistently. Ed blinked up sleepily at his brother's helmet and then pushed himself out of bed.
Al had made toast and brewed some coffee for breakfast. He'd also put the newspaper (which Ed would never read, except maybe to skim the comics) and the mail on the table. Ed felt the tiniest bit of guilt at the thoughtful gesture. At least he could sleep: Al hadn't slept in over four years.
Ed took a sip of the coffee and grimaced; Al never sweetened it enough for his taste. He briefly glanced at the letter pile and did a double take. On top of the pile was a cream envelope embossed in red and gold. The Fuhrer's seal was on top.
"Al!"
"I know, I thought you might want to open it yourself, Brother."
Ed gingerly slid his knife under the seal and opened the envelope. In it, there was a thick card which read:
Fullmetal Alchemist Edward Elric
is hereby commanded to attend his Majesty, the Fuhrer King Bradley the First's Silver Jubilee Gala.
"Silver what?" Ed asked in disbelief.
----
"…Jubilee Gala, celebrating the 25 wonderful years that our beloved Fuhrer has run this country." Colonel Roy Mustang drawled, scribbling over another official form.
"It's something of a ball." Riza Hawkeye explained as she checked over the papers in Mustang's Out box. He was notorious for attempting to skiv off of paperwork by moving unfinished papers into the Out box, but had never managed to get them past Hawkeye's sharp eyes…yet.
"So like a party." Ed said, flopped on Mustang's couch.
"It's a little more than a party," Havoc interjected, "It's going to be one of the biggest events of the year, of the decade! Everyone who's anyone is going to be there!"
"Which is why you're not going to be there." teased Mustang. He sighed loudly and leaned back into his chair.
"Such a shame, I'll have to woo the society girls all by myself!" Mustang grinned as Havoc stormed out of his office. Hawkeye just glared at him and thwapped him soundly on the head with a folder.
"Wait," protested Ed, "If it's going to be that kind of party, why do I have to go?"
Hawkeye and Mustang exchanged glances. It was one thing that Ed had no manners: it was part of him along with the exaggerated attitude he had about his height. It was quite another that he didn't understand what his position was in society. The poor kid was going to be thrown to the sharks at the gala!
"Ed, you're a certified state alchemist." Hawkeye said, "You're only several levels under the Fuhrer himself!"
"Well, that's a bit of an exaggeration!" protested Mustang, "After all he's my…"
"Yes?" Hawkeye asked sweetly.
"Never mind." Mustang growled, suddenly aware of the hole he'd nearly blundered into.
"Feh," Ed muttered mutinously while studying the invitation he'd hurriedly tucked in his coat pocket, "Even if I am a State Alchemist, do I have to go?"
"It would be a personal insult to the Fuhrer himself if you don't attend," Mustang replied dryly, examining another report, "Unless you want to be held accountable for that…"
"I'll go, I'll go!" Ed peeked back at the fancy invitation, "What do they mean by 'dress uniform required?'"
"Oh boy…"
----
Edward Elric was not happy. Admittedly, there weren't any flesh-eating chimaeras or insane homunculi after his blood or hours of paperwork ahead of him. But still, this wasn't exactly a walk in the park for him. For one thing, his dress uniform, which didn't fit him despite its X-Small label, itched terribly and didn't fit in the right places. His pants were too loose and his jacket a shade too tight. He'd been scrubbed raw and then stuffed into this…monstrosity and to cap it all off, Al hadn't been on the guest list and was therefore not allowed to attend. Suffering through this might have been easier if he'd had his younger brother by his side. If nothing else, he was great conversation-starter and was somehow more at ease around people than Ed was, despite his odd appearance.
Ed sighed and stared down at the packed hallway in resigned boredom. Barely five minutes in and he was already wishing this was all over.
"There you are!"
Ed turned to face the beaming Colonel Mustang who looked, as usual, perfectly dashing in his dress uniform. Ed grimaced when he saw Mustang had a pretty young girl draped on his arm. Really, did that bastard ever stop womanizing?
"Miss Edmonte, this is the dashing young fellow I was talking about." Mustang sent a ten-watt grin the girl who fairly swooned in response.
Oh great, another round of kick the small, insignificant Puppy of the Military in his balls? Ed thought sourly.
"Oh, Mr. Elric – it is Elric isn't it? Somehow all these military names sound the same, isn't that droll? – it is such an honor to meet you!" Miss. Edmonte simpered while leaning closer to the Colonel
"Um…" Was it even grammatically possible to fit all that in one sentence?
"Fullmetal, you are this young lady's escort for this evening." Mustang managed to flash out between grins, "Please take good care of her!"
"Oh, but…" Miss. Edmonte was barely able to protest before the Colonel skillfully untucked her arm and placed it in Edward's automail arm before vanishing into the crowd.
Miss Edmonte was over a head taller than him, so it really wasn't much that she was looking down at him but did she have to look like she'd just gotten a piece of toilet paper stuck to her high heels?
"Um, shall we go then?" he asked nervously.
"Suppose so," she replied stiffly, keeping her body flush away from his.
They made it to the Grand Staircase, which was yes large and fancy enough to deserve the capitalized title, where titles and their accompanying names were being called out. A uniformed valet who camouflaged perfectly into the opulent background smiled politely at Miss Edmonte and almost overlooked Ed.
"Ah, Miss Edmonte!" he trilled, "What an honor to see you again this season!"
"Oh Alfred, I wouldn't miss an occasion like this for the world!" she giggled back, not even bother to introduce Ed.
"And who is this?" the valet asked, beaming down at Edward, "Your little brother, I assume!"
It took every scrap of self-control Ed had not to sock that over-perfumed jerk right then and there!
"Oh no, this is the Fullmetal Alchemist, my escort for the evening." She replied dismissingly.
"Oh, but…"
Thankfully their names were called and they both had to descend the Grand Staircase. To Ed's shame, everyone in the room turned to stare at them and several people began to whisper to one another. He hunched his shoulders and tried not to trip over his feet. He really wasn't that important to deserve this kind of humiliation!
Mercifully soon, they made it to the ground floor and escaped the limelight, only to be mobbed by other fancily-dressed people who all smiled big fake grins as they held out hands to be shaken or kissed depending on their gender. To Ed's shame, he nearly kissed the glove of an impeccably-dressed fop who was wearing lipstick!
Miss Edmonte, on the other hand, was in her element and seemed to enjoy every second of the air-kissing and hand-shaking. She smiled as brightly at everyone surrounding them and immediately drew those around her into conversation, half of which Ed could barely understand! He felt smothered by the crowd and overpowering perfumes that barely let him breathe.
"Uh, can I get you a drink?" He muttered.
"Of course, darling." Miss Edmonte answered absently, probably not even registering the question, but it was enough of an excuse for Ed to get out of the crowd and make a break for the refreshments table.
Once at the white linen covered table, he leaned down and tried to catch his breath. Ridiculous! He was Edward Elric, the Fullmetal Alchemist. He could transmute anything, he was the youngest State Alchemist ever, he could solve complicated equations in the blink of an eye, and he couldn't even deal with a stupid party?
"What've you got?" he muttered at the barman gloomily.
"Nothing for children." Was the stern reply.
"Look, I'm a freaking State Alchemist, just get me something cold!" he snarled, showing the incredulous barman his official pocket watch.
"S-so sorry, sir!" The barman quavered, intimidated either by Ed's show of temper or the symbol of authority. Within seconds, Ed got a flute of ice water and some champagne for Miss Edmonte. He wasn't going to risk getting drunk: there was no telling what he'd do under influence and anyways his sensei had beaten into him (literally) a respect for rules that involved drinking and minors.
Miss Edmonte didn't even acknowledge him as he returned with her drink and took it offhandedly as though he were an invisible servant. He would have left then and there, manners be damned, but a tall, well-endowed blonde girl blocked his path with a shy curtsey.
"N-nice to meet you. My name is Katherine Armstrong."
Armstrong? Wait a minute…
"You wouldn't happen to be a relative of Major Armstrong, the Strong Arm Alchemist, would you?" Ed asked faintly.
"Oh yes, he's my big brother." She replied happily, growing a bit bolder, "He's told me a lot about you, Mr. Elric."
"Yeah, uh, I didn't know he had a sister." Ed replied awkwardly, but thankful for a distraction.
"He has two! I'm the youngest though."
Ed always had the impression that Colonel Armstrong had sprung out of a mountain or something equally manly and never for a moment had thought that he might actually have family. Katherine, however, looked quite normal. Maybe he was just the weird one of the family.
"So, what do you like to do?" Ed asked casually as he took another sip of the icy water.
"I like to do the piano a bit."
"Hmm? You any good at it?"
"Not as good as my brother."
"What? He plays the piano?" Would wonders never cease?
"No, we lift pianos. I can only lift one or two pianos at a time, but my brother's been able to lift ten!"
Ed gagged on his drink. The entire family was completely crazy! On the other hand, compared to this organized chaos of butt-kissing and false laughter, a weird family that lifted pianos as a hobby was almost a breath of fresh air.
"Um, do you want to dance?" he asked, looking for something that would get away from this cloying crowd.
Before Katherine could answer, a meaty hand was placed on his shoulder, and Ed found himself whirled around to face a large, muscular chest.
"Edward Elric, how wonderful to see you on this fine evening!" Colonel Armstrong boomed as he crushed Ed into a tight embrace.
"I see you met my cute little sister!" Armstrong continued as he released the gasping Fullmetal Alchemist, only to give him a thunderous clap on the shoulders that nearly sent him sprawling, "It is good to see that you have drawn her out of her shy shell! She normally stays back and is so quiet, I am glad that your manly advances have put confidence into her feminine soul!"
"Oh, it's nothing like that, big brother!" Katherine protested shyly, "Mr. Elric was just being polite to the little sister of his colleague."
"Nonsense!" Armstrong said benignly as he beamed down at his little sister, sparkles practically hovering around them angelically, "No man in his right mind would dismiss such a young bloomin flower of female beauty!"
Ed felt a bit ill as he watched the two together. It takes all kinds to keep this world going, Pinanko had often said philosophically. Watching these two odd siblings, Ed couldn't agree more.
"Fullmetal! There you are!" a shrill voice broke in as Ed found his arm in a delicately-manicured grip of steel and was tugged back into the well-dressed, suppressive crowd. Miss Edmonte didn't even spare him a glance as she pulled him along like a well-trained show dog.
"Mr. Goethe, this is the Fullmetal Alchemist." She presented him proudly to a thin, pale blond man who was dressed in a dark suit that was impeccably tailored with a silver trim.
"Oh yes," he replied insipidly, "The one we were just discussing. The youngest State Alchemist. Twelve, is he?"
"I'm fifteen!" growled Ed as he shook off Miss Edmonte's hands.
Mr. Goethe just raised his eyebrows in disbelief as the fat girl in pale pink standing next to him tittered loudly. More people were drawing in and Ed felt more and more like an animal on display.
"Bit small for his age, isn't he? Do you think it's the alchemy?" Another tailored and perfumed gentleman asked sardonically.
Ed felt his hands curl up into fists. He was damned if he was going to have to go through this all night! He was about launch a sharp retort at the man before Goethe said,
"My dear fellow, it's plain to see that the military is letting in all kinds these days. I suppose it's part of the Fuhrer's plan to expand the military. Taking in younger, more diverse recruits allows for a stronger base. As I was saying…"
"How can that be?" Ed interrupted sharply, "The entire military knows that I'm a rare exception. If anything, the military's letting in less people with harsher requirements for the few recruits that they let in. For a stronger base, you have quality over quantity, especially for a field like alchemy!"
Now everyone really was staring at him and not through him, like he was a museum display. A bright flush was now spreading across Goethe's cheekbones as he stiffened before the short boy who'd completely destroyed his brilliant analysis of the military for the evening.
"Well," he said stiffly, "it's plain to see that Miss Edmonte has a keen eye for intelligence in her escorts. Perhaps that's why she has received so few quality proposals since her coming out. Good evening, Miss Edmonte, Mr. Fullmetal!"
With a dramatic gesture, Goethe strode off, taking quite a few of the group with him. Ed felt a little confused as he turned to Miss Edmonte who'd turned a brilliant shade of red. Her fan shook, though her face was calm and composed. Ed felt a little sorry for her; after all, it wasn't her fault Goethe and his posse had put him down.
"Can I get you another drink?" he muttered quietly, hoping she wouldn't cry in front of him.
Evidently, that was the wrong thing to say. Miss Edmonte whirled to face him, hands clenched into fists and her brows drawn together stormily.
"Drink? Oh, I'd be happy for one! Just to forget what a disgusting little wretch I have for an escort! Oh, you…! You've ruined everything, you little brat! I have to have everyone stare at me for having a freakish runt like you for an escort! You have no manners, no class, and no real intelligence for anything beyond alchemy! To think that I've been stuck with a CRIPPLED FREAK for the entire evening!"
With that she stormed away, fan clenched like a dagger in one of her balled-up hands. The crowd parted for her easily as she strode quickly out of the room. Ed felt as though the whole congregation was staring at him and laughing to themselves. He felt his face burn with shame and ducked his head as he also began to make his way out of the room, desperate to get away from these shallow, selfish people.
He finally made it to a quiet hallway where only a few valets were present.
"Is there a toilet near here?" he asked one of the red-suited men desperately. Damnit, he needed to be alone!
"Take the first set of stairs to your right and it's down the hall, third door to your left." The valet replied listlessly.
Ed sprinted for the tiled privacy and shut the door behind him with a sigh of relief. In all honesty, Miss Edmonte's insults really weren't what drove him out of there. The whole oppressive crowd with their shallow opinions and false compliments really drove him over the edge. How could people like Mustang actually enjoy these kinds of events?
He heard footsteps coming and quickly ducked into a stall and locked it behind him. He really wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone, especially after the whole Miss Edmonte fiasco!
"Fullmetal?" Damnit! Of all the people to come in, did it have to be Mustang?
Ed kept silent and hoped that he would go away. He really wasn't looking forward to having Mustang bawl him out for insulting his escort, or worse, find a way to work in yet another taunt about his height!
"Fullmetal. Edward, I know you're in there. We need to talk about Miss Edmonte…"
That did it! Ed had gone through enough for the evening and was not about to be made a sport of by that bastard colonel!
"What?" Ed snapped, feeling like a dam was let loose inside of him, "Didn't I act appropriate enough for a miniscule shrimp of a loser! You've have your laughs tonight and I'm sure Miss Edmonte beat you to the punch! So sorry if I'm not going to take your shit anymore, you bastard of a colonel, but I've been kicked enough in the balls tonight, thank you very much! Now, could you just leave the Fullmetal Midget alone to stew and go back to wooing your girls or whatever you do at these parties? I've had enough!"
He heaved a deep breath and felt sobs begin to well up. He closed his eyes in shame as tears squeezed out and leaned against the door in defeat.
"Please Colonel," he whispered, now much calmer but no less unhappy, "Just leave me alone. You've had your fun."
"I'm sorry."
Ed's eyes snapped open in shock as he turned to listen to the colonel, despite barely believing what he just heard.
"What did you say?" Ed said in shock.
"I'm sorry for what happened." Colonel Mustang's voice sounded anything but mocking or satisfied. If anything, he sounded a bit…regretful? "I never meant for this to happen. I didn't know that Miss Edmonte would be this…disrespectful. To be honest, I wanted you to have a good time. I thought you'd want to spend some time with someone close to your age since you're constantly surrounded by adults. I hoped you'd have a good time tonight, get a chance to act like a normal kid, for once."
Ed was still silent with shock. This couldn't be right! The bastard colonel was apologizing to him? The colonel wanted him to have a good time at this party and wasn't taking a dig at his temper or size?
He heard Mustang sigh for a moment and then,
"If you want to leave now, I'll understand. I'll excuse you from the rest of the gala and make my apology to the Fuhrer for your absence. I'll go call a car…"
Suddenly, the stall door was flung open and Ed faced his superior with his trademark stubborn glare.
"Look, this really isn't my kind of crowd, but…if I can stay with you, I don't think it'll be so bad. And I kind of wanted a chance to dance with Armstrong's sister, she seemed kind of nice."
At Mustang's incredulous glance, Ed cracked a cocky grin and said,
"Hey, I'm the Fullmetal Alchemist. If I can't get through this, what'll happen to my rep as 'Hero of the People'?"
At this, Mustang had to smile in response and ran a hand through his glossy black hair.
"I swear, you never stop surprising me, Fullmetal."
Ed was about to retort to this when the lights abruptly went out.
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Uh…coughs nervously hi. This is my first Fullmetal Alchemist fanfic to date and…I'll do my best! Thanks for reading and please review to let me know how I'm doing! Thank you!
