Longing....

AN: This is very loosely based off of some old RP's I have done... My character is exactly true to the Anime and it will show here with a few surprised I put into Rei due to her being my character. I stayed truer to the rp interaction between the characters I had then anything else. ^^ So gomen if you don't like due to that.

Disclaimer: I do not own Sailormoon I'm just borrowing the characters for a bit.

The young woman sighed softly as she looked up to the night sky, feeling sadden that no matter how hard she tried she just couldn't shake the feelings of loneliness. Even surrounded by her closest friends smiling and laughing she couldn't help but think she was lying to them each time. Forcing the smiles and laughs, acting as if nothing was bothering her when it was. Her eyes lightning on the full moon as a strange type of peace came over her reminding her what she had to fight for. Even if the loneliness ate her alive she still had a promise to keep, a reason to keep moving forward instead of withdrawing from everything completely. A slight smile softened the somewhat hardened look on her face as she remembered the young odango haired girls complaint about her upcoming exams.

Giving a soft sigh she ran her hand through her raven haired locks wondering slightly if the help that Ami had offered to give their leader would actually help any or just go in one ear and out the other. Shaking her head a bit she let her thoughts turn to the blue haired senshi. Closing her eyes as her smile broadened a bit at her thoughts. Remembering how the other woman seemed to be a walking dictionary at times and others absolutely clueless when it came to anything other then school or science related things. Leaning against the railing as she thought about the fights the girls had been through, their deaths, not once but a few different times she felt a stab of fear not for her own safety or that of her princess but for her blue haired friend.

Frowning a bit she turned to scowl at the dying fire behind her for once not finding comfort in its dancing light. Wondering why she could no longer lose herself in its dancing glow like she used to. Tossing her previous thoughts aside of the ice senshi she glared accusingly at the embers before her. Wanting to know why her own element seemed to taunt her with the other senshi's smiling face instead of giving her the solace she so desperately wanted and needed to keep a hold of grip on her own sanity. Dousing the rest of the fire with a softly muttered explicit she moved from the room to go for her bed knowing that any sleep would be far from coming as it had for the past month or so.

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Sighing softly after struggling for an hour to understand what she was reading she closed her book with a soft scowl shifting her blue eyes up to look at the night sky. Finding a small sense of peace in the full moon that shown brightly in the darkened sky. Knowing she should be concentrating on her studies since her final exams were coming up for her advanced college courses and soon her internship at Tokyo Hospital, she let her thoughts drift to the raven haired senshi she had fought along side for several years now.

Thinking back to each fight they had been along side each other at, feeling a bit of guilt at making the other woman watch her die during the final fight against Beryl. Shaking her head slightly knowing that thought in its self would be of no use to anyone as she rested her chin in the palm of her hand. Wondering if the miko that had managed to take over her thoughts was sleeping by now or staring at the moon as she was. Closing her eyes she sighed a bit in frustration, remembering the advice Haruka and Michiru had given her. Knowing there was no way she could be as bold as Haruka had suggested and flirt out right with the raven haired priestess, or even confess how she felt to the other woman.

A tear slowly trailed its way down her cheek as she let her mind wonder to the possible rejection she could receive from doing so. And worse yet the loss of the other woman's friendship. Knowing she would take the friendship even if she couldn't have the other as she wanted her. Running her free hand through her hair in slight agitation she scowled remembering that Michiru had told her that she might have nothing to worry about, that Rei would most likely return the feelings for her. Having had adapted an utterly bewildered look on her face she wondered how Michiru could tell that. Nothing she had seen from her friend had suggested that she may think of her that way at all. When she had asked Michiru she didn't get the answer she wanted, just told to pay more attention to what went on around her then her text books.

Standing up from her desk the scowl deepened as she prepared for bed slowly, considering asking the others if they had noticed Rei acting any certain way towards her. With a slight shake of her head she climbed into bed trying to remembering in the past month if Rei had acted different knowing the miko had always been secretive about herself and her thoughts, hiding things easily from each of them and rarely letting others know what went on in her mind. Giving another sigh she closed her eyes coming to a decision to ask the miko herself if she got the chance tomorrow, deciding for once to enjoy a weekend instead of staying inside and studying like she usually did. Falling slowly to sleep she smiled a bit as she thought of her friend and what she had loosely planned for her.

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Cursing softly at the early morning sun that decidedly to rudely wake her up Rei rolled over in bed pulling the covers over her head in protest to even the slighest thought of getting up to face the rest of the world. Frowning as she heard the softly male chuckle coming from the direction open window she slowly pulled the covers down and sat up to scowl at the neko male in front of her. Rolling her eyes at his pleasant smile knowing nothing good could come of it and wondered idly if she was being punished by the visit. Fighting back the urge to use his slightly swaying tail to strangle him until his ears fell off the miko smiles softly turning to greet him in a sickly sweet voice that belied her thoughts. "What do I owe the pleasure of this visit, brother dearest?"

Tilting his head to the side he let one ear twitch slightly at the sound of her voice knowing the miko was hiding something even if her violet eyes weren't showing it. Studying his 'sister' closely he saw the signs of her restless sleep and shook his head wondering slightly if she was taking care of herself as she should be doing. "Usagi asked me to check in on you. She's worried about you and warned me before I showed this early that you may try to bite me in agitation at waking you up."

Shadow grinned at the miko, showing his fangs as his eyes playfully flashed red for a moment. Only to have it broaden as he heard the growl of agitation coming from his 'sister', knowing he had probably reminded her of her own vampirism she worked to hide so well. "You do know Shadow, there are times that I wish the sun was one of your weaknesses. I would only have to deal with you for short periods of time then."

Grinning broadly the young looking male jumped up from his lounging position against the window frame. "That may be so, but remember my dear you would get to spend far less time with Ami-chan if that were the case. Seeing how you are just about like me as is Usagi. Being the type of vampire I am has its perks you do have to admit."

Shaking her head Rei moved over to her closet grabbing out an outfit out for the day. Trying not to admit to Shadow that he had a point before growling after a moment at the mention of Ami. Turning an angry gaze on him as her eyes flashed with warning. "How do you know that I enjoy spending all the time I can manage with Ami?" At his guilty look she growled softly in warning. "I thought I told you to stay out of my thoughts Shadow."

Having the common sense to look guilty he looked down at the floor. "Gomen Rei, it was hard to ignore yesterday even through the block we have set up. You were pretty uncaring about shielding your worries. One reason why I came here, I was simply worried about you. As is Usagi and the other girls."

Scowling softly Rei huffed as she turned to head for the bathroom to change for the day. "Don't worry about, I will live. I've had far worse kill me then unrequited love."

Tilting his head to the side he watched her leave waiting patiently until she returned before continuing on with the conversation. "That may be so but the vampire in you also wants her and you know it. If by chance she does return your feelings your are going to have to tell her about your vampirism. Before the vampire takes control and bites her causing you nothing but grief in the process."

"Don't worry Shadow I have control of the vampire in me and she accepted the fact that Usagi was one as well as the fact that Usagi no longer wanted Mamoru." Grinning in remembrance of the small scandal that Usagi had unwittingly caused when she broke up with Mamoru for Seiya. Rei wasted no time in teasing her princess about being Bisexual by all rights since Seiya was a woman when he transformed.

Chuckling softly Shadow shook his head slightly. "You truly have a twisted bent on this my dear. One would think you found a bit of joy in Mamoru being in pain over the breakup."

Shrugging slightly the miko hid her grin well. "One could say that karma can be a bitch, and after he treated me like he did when we both agreed to give an relationship a second try I do believe he deserved it, the ass."

Laughing he studied her before making his way back to the window. "Either way sister you know how to get ahold of me if you need to. I'm here to talk at anytime day or night. I suggest you be happy that you being a vampire and not needing that much rest works well for your sleepless nights."

Grinning a bit crookedly she figured she didn't need to tell him she had only just fallen asleep a little over an hour ago. "Yes I know, take care hun and do try to stay out of trouble there is only so much we can do to get you out of it."

Nodding the neko jumped out the window and from sight leaving Rei alone in her room to think. Jumping slightly as her phone rang next to her cursing herself for the action she reached over to the night stand to find the annoyance that was her cell phone. Blinking a bit in surprise at the text message from Ami asking to meet her in an hour at the entrance to the shrine. Sending her reply back that she would love to do so. She went off to grab something light to eat wondering how many of the other girls would be trailing along.

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AN: Thanks for reading ^^;;; I know I took a long while to update and I have like 2 stories that seem at dead ends which unfortunately might stay that way since I lost all progress I had made on them in an minor accident. I will try to update more on this one its a promise. And maybe start writing something other then SM fanfics... who knows time will tell. Enjoy reading and please R & R.

Prissrei